The happy androgyne

[Natalie x]

[size=2]Just throwing a few thoughts into the melting pot here.


Since I started crossdressing all those, er, months ago, I have had a clear thought in my mind: that I am a woman trying to gain rightful control of a body that was commandeered 60 years ago by a man. Once released, the feminine drive became so strong that it has relegated my male element to a poor second place, and I have been happier than at any time in my life.



But I’m not a woman, I never will be. Even if I were to go for full hormone treatment, SRS and behave and dress as a woman 24/7, I could not overcome the years of manhood that are an inerasable part of my construction. Oh, if it had been done 40 years ago, that might be different, but it wasn’t. It’s not that I don’t feel very feminine, when I slip into girlie mode, I do. But then I pass a mirror (* shock *) or forget to modulate my voice (* drone *) or need to go to the toilet, and the façade drops.



So I have reached a milestone in my crossdressing walk of life, one which I reckon a huge number of my beloved sisters reached long ago but maybe thought it was too obvious to bother giving it a name. I have happily embraced the fact that I am androgynous, one of the middle sex, neither man nor woman, both man and woman.

I never was a manly man, I always hated soccer, always preferred female conversation to male, always cried at movies, but I’m not a real woman either (a fairly good imitation of one, sometimes, but not a GG by any standard). No, I am something in between, I am one of the third sex, a genetic eunuch, an androgyne.


This doesn’t change anything, except to give me some peace of mind. I shall carry on down the same road with the same objectives. But it helps me to understand myself better, and to see that road more clearly, and where it is taking me.



Anybody feel the same?

[/size]

[eleventhdr]

You do se I have been a real female in oh so many past lives as i will continue to state. So thus I truely do know what being female is really like. As a matter of fact belive it or not i have been femlae many more times then male. So I have this inkling on how it is to be a girl. And that has made all of the difference!. Suzy!.

[Natalie x]

That's neat, Suzy, I have never been able to connect with my past. It must be great to feel that link with your previous female lives.

[Priscilla1018]

I hear you Natalie,I am a mixture also,a third gender.Actually in my case I feel that I have two personalities merged into one body.The only sports that I have enjoyed are individual ones,not a team player.I love shooting,hunting,
fishing and my wife enjoys these activities with me.Then there was martial arts training and weight lifting,she will eventually join me in those.Outward appearance wise,I look very macho with a full beard and large arms and shoulders but,if you look close, you will notice shaved underarms,arms and legs and you will smell the French perfume I wear at all times.I enjoy being a mutt.The important thing is to accept ourselves as we are and just be natural.

[norbie]

Yes reading through all past postings I would say there are at least more then 50% like you and me on this Forum. And also quite happy this way, I believe.
I fully agree with you, there is a great difference between a 30 year old face and a 60 year old face. Make-up can do some help, also keeping slim and working on figure, voice training - that all can be archived, but we can't buy a new "Head" at Target
This is also the reason why I am not come out to Elizabeth: to waight up the pro and contra, it would be no point to destroy a lifelong Marriage.
But I am looking forward and use ANY time my Elizabeth is not home to go into CD Mode - sometime so short even without make-up.
But like you said, I am happy like this and sometime I think we have the best of both worlds... :shh:
Big Bear Hugs to all from Norbie

[Natalie x]

I enjoy being a mutt.The important thing is to accept ourselves as we are and just be natural.

I love that, Priscilla, a mutt, that's what I shall call myself from now on, that's perfect!

[Rachael Warren]

Wow, Natalie, you must have read my mind!

I have had the same feelings for years, I might have gone down the other road years ago save for my wife and family.

I was confused about all of this for years and never thought to look for help, I love my wife way too much to embarass her.

I am now in my late 30's and regret not coming to terms with myself years ago. Had I done so I could have avoided so many problems in my life.

On the bright side, think of the benefits that a resource like this site will bring to our following generations, hopefully they will not be affected in the same way by this issue.

I, like you, am happy to be "in the middle", as long as I can be Rachael when she needs to surface, I'll cover her up, as best as possible, to support my family for the rest of the time.

As for androgynous, I am a vasectomised male, therefore no longer a true man, nor woman, that must be close enough. This has added even more confusion for me over the years.

All in all I am happy with my lot, trapped in a cage yes, but then isn't everyone in one way or another?

I will conclude here, I have a habit of getting too deep on subjects like this and don't want to bore the other members of the forum.

We are all sisters, with slightly different purposes and circumstances. Lets just stick together and help each other out. We all have a common feeling.

Lots of love, Rachael.

[FionaAlexis]

Hi Natalie,

I see myself in a lot of what you say. But though I have opted to live my life predominantly as a male, I am a decidely awkward and unmasculine male. I still feel fake - and I still hang on to that core belief that I am a wrongly tagged female.

I recoil at any thought of being androgynous but I applaud those who have found an integrated 'middle sex' way. Also I am aware that many intersexed people would wish not to be labelled male or female - and perhaps it is time we had recognition of this third gender.

Fiona xx

[Melissa A.]

This is the wonderful thing about our vast community. Not only are we crossressers, transexuals, transgendered, etc., but even within each one of those catagories, we are all so different. We are different in what motivates us, frequency of experiences, what it means to us, and many other ways. You may find several others who are quite similar to you, but not exactly alike in every way, or degree. If most of our critics and detractors actually made an attempt to get to know about us, it would drive them crazy! lol. I'm sure many think we are all the same, but at least we know better! Every time I come here, I learn something new about at least one person, and I think that's a great thing. We are all sisters, despite our differences.

Me, I'm just a regular guy most of the time, comfortable being one of the guys, but just as comfortable hanging out and talking with women. But there is a part of me that is completely female that I need to experience often, and I think she makes the male me a better person. When in female mode, I AM a girl. I feel, think, act and move like a female, effortlessly. The male and female sides of me are seperate, but influence eachother, I think, in many ways, if that makes sense to anyone. So I don't consider myself androgynous, per se, but definitely transgendered, to a degree.

Hugs,

Melissa

[JayeEdgar]

Yes, I agree with your reasoning, but I do not see myself as a blend of male and female, but rather sometimes the one, and sometimes the other. I am in male mode when I need to be (to work, to take care of errands and chores, to socialize with others); I am female mode when I can (to relax, to play, to enjoy the sensations of dressing).

Unlike some, I do not mix the two forms of dress....when in male mode, I dress completely as a male....briefs, undershirt, socks and (usually) tennis shoes. I never wear lingerie under my male attire. And when I am in female mode, I dress completely as a woman (although often I do not do makeup--since my dressing periods are usually limited)--foundations and undergarments, tops or sweaters, skirts or dresses, stockings and heels. I like to put on earrings (clip-ons) and other forms of jewelry; and I have a couple of purses.

[Mx Justina]

[size=2]Just throwing a few thoughts into the melting pot here.


Since I started crossdressing all those, er, months ago, I have had a clear thought in my mind: that I am a woman trying to gain rightful control of a body that was commandeered 60 years ago by a man. Once released, the feminine drive became so strong that it has relegated my male element to a poor second place, and I have been happier than at any time in my life.



But I’m not a woman, I never will be. Even if I were to go for full hormone treatment, SRS and behave and dress as a woman 24/7, I could not overcome the years of manhood that are an inerasable part of my construction. Oh, if it had been done 40 years ago, that might be different, but it wasn’t. It’s not that I don’t feel very feminine, when I slip into girlie mode, I do. But then I pass a mirror (* shock *) or forget to modulate my voice (* drone *) or need to go to the toilet, and the façade drops.



So I have reached a milestone in my crossdressing walk of life, one which I reckon a huge number of my beloved sisters reached long ago but maybe thought it was too obvious to bother giving it a name. I have happily embraced the fact that I am androgynous, one of the middle sex, neither man nor woman, both man and woman.

I never was a manly man, I always hated soccer, always preferred female conversation to male, always cried at movies, but I’m not a real woman either (a fairly good imitation of one, sometimes, but not a GG by any standard). No, I am something in between, I am one of the third sex, a genetic eunuch, an androgyne.


This doesn’t change anything, except to give me some peace of mind. I shall carry on down the same road with the same objectives. But it helps me to understand myself better, and to see that road more clearly, and where it is taking me.



Anybody feel the same?

[/size]

It's really (if honestly and deeply thought out) not desirable or even biologically logical to comfortably perceive, or encourage all (or most) human beings to "fit" the male and female regimented, sex-typed pigeon-holes... If such could be accomplished, the effect would be transcendentally stunting and regressive...equivelant to wholesale inbreeding, in consequences. Androgyny goes hand in hand with Individualism.

I began to be acclimated to Androgyny as a personal natural concept (mind/body) in my early self-awareness...I took to the concept almost instinctually... However, because of that personal easy identification...only well into adulthood, did I begin to clearly realise how uncomfortable were many diverse people (and particularly way too many within the "transgendered" catchall classification)...with Androgyny...so for me that clear realisation was deeply unsettleling at the least.

I have no interest in being female!...However since I am human, I want to appear (and INTERACT) in a way that conforms with the Feminity that I wish to express... So, the natural association (and natural follows logical, or as art and form follows funtion)...for me is to appear as naturally female-like (or to have that morphing capality).

BTW Natalie...I never would directly associate Androgyny with "genetic eunuch"... Androgyny is more about biological flexibility in my perception of it... As example, likely the vast majority of athletic, androgynous-looking female athletes have not the least intention of ever under-going some chemical neutering, or surgical intervention in order to assume a permanent masculine-appearing state...however, most likely DO look forward to becoming mothers...

For what it's worth...

J.

[Nikki A.]

I too feel that I'm in the middle. Due to responsibilities of family and career I need to be a male, but there are times when the female part of me screams for recognition and some acceptance. I need to keep it in the closet even at home (wife knows, but does not approve or accept but at least gives me some slack occasionally).
If I knew 30 years ago where all this was headed and if the information was around as it is now I might have chosen a different route and a different kind of SO. Mine knew early on and thought she could deal with the occasional fetish dress up but over the years thing have evolved into a more constant and yet subdued change. No, I don't think about SRS but I do wish to be able to be able to dress and go out occasionally as a woman and be treated as such. I wish I had someone that I could confide in and that would be willing and be open minded enough to help me achieve this inner peace that I crave. Will I ever pass as a female? After fifty some odd years the answer is no. But, it is not the look but the feeling that feels so right when I'm dressed that is what I like and seem to need.