Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Week 1

[Fab Karen]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

1) god told me to.
2) nope, because I don't have one of those.If I did I would from the start.
3) see #2. And weird question- I like the way I look en femme but I don't get sexual excitement from it.

[Mary Jane]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing? I can not explain, it is just something I need to do from time to time. For many years I had an 'itch' that wasn't getting scratched. When I started dressing fully that 'itch' went away.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship? Yes, my wife knows and tolerates it since she knows of my need. I dress only when she is away from home.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side? Well, my wife is my number one love and I have never thought about really loving my fem side. I just enjoy the dressing.

Unlike many girls, my dressing is more like a hobby.

[Laura Evans]

#1. It expresses the feminine side of my personality. I love the variety of styles and colors that feminine clothing offers. Mens clothing is so dull.

#2. My current SO has been told early in our relationship and has been supporting me 100%, it has now been 4 1/2 years. I am the same person whether in male or female clothing and she knows that and has said she appreciates my having and expressing that feminine side. In previous relationships and marriage I kept that a secret and always felt bad about doing that. Before my current relationship I had decided that I would no longer do that and felt it was worth taking the risk of loosing her in order to have a fully honest relationship and one that would allow me to express my feminine side openly. I have not been disapointed.

#3. Not quite sure what you are asking in this question but I would say yes. I am more attracted to my SO then to myself, she is #1 in my life.

[SherriePall]

Gosh, Di, you really know how to ask the tough questions.
Here goes.
1. The number one reason I wear feminine clothing? I don't know. Since I was little I have been attracted to women's clothing. Wearing them and make-up and all the other little things that change my outer presence to match my inner makes me feel right.

2. Am I open and honest with my wife? For the most part I am. She knows about my dressing ever since I told her some 10 years ago nearly 25 years into our marriage. She assumes that I dress when she goes out (and she is usually right) and she know that I purchase clothing and make-up without telling her.
Actually, there is a lot of don't ask, don't tell here. But she does speak her mind when she wants to.

3. Am I attracted to my wife as much as I am my femme side? More so. I married a beautiful girl and am still married to a beautiful woman (both on the outside and inside).
My femme side is a poor second to her. And while my wife often believes she is not as attractive as she once was, she is very wrong.

There's my answers.

[flatlander_48]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

While I have feminine clothing, I don't wear it very often. In warmer weather, people drop in, windows are open, etc. I underdress about 80% of the time. It just feels good and I like the squeeze (to say nothing of the Na-Na-Na-Na-Na Factor!)...

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

Did not crossdress while I was married to the 1st wife. I had pretty much suppressed the memories of playing around with my mother's clothes as a child. I didn't start doing any sort of crossdressing until after my divorce and shortly after beginning the relationship with the woman who eventually became my 2nd wife. She knows essentially everything about me.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I would say much more so, but it's different. It's like the difference between looking outside and looking inside. Your viewpoint and perspective changes...

[lady sawdust]

1. Because it makes me feel sexy in a way that my masculine side fails at.
2. Currently single, but when I was dating, I kept my dressing to myself. I don't think the deception hurt any of my relationships. I've always been a private person and dressing has never been the centre of my life, so I can't imagine it effecting my relationships any more than the other activities that I kept from them (i.e. my writing).
3. Aside from one time I've always been more attracted to them than my girl side. Their sexiness is what I always aspired to.

[Carla Williams]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

They are so much more comfortable than mens clothes, they look better, fit better, and make me feel so much better, in a relaxed way, nothing else.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

I am single.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

See above answer.

[Rianna Humble]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

Because I gave up fighting the need to wear them and now accept that I am transgendered and will need to go further towards transition

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

I don't have an SO - that is partly because fighting my need to express my feminine side meant I was unable to forge meaningful relationships and has left me extremely shy

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

N/A

[sherri52]

The GGs have some questions they'd like to ask so as to better understand the CDs. We've put the questions together and will be posting them in sets of three every week. Please feel free to answer any number of them. We appreciate your input!


1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

#1. I dress because it makes me feel good and I like the way womens clothing fits. I also like the larger selection of clothing in comparison to mens.

#2 I was open and honest with both of my wives and still neither were accepting

#3 I loved my wives, I only liked the way I looked

[AKAMichelle]

1) Cd'ing use to be sexual in the early days which is probably one of the most confusing parts of it. Because if it is sexual can't you modify your behaviour, and the answer is somewhat. It always comes back with no warning and common items to alert you. There is no cause and effect trigger. The oddest thing is that the reasons for dressing change over time. Sometime back the reason was relaxation and de-stressing. Even that reason has modified slightly. I guess this is what makes accepting us so difficult because we can't truly explain it to anyone much less ourselves.

2) I wasn't honest with my wife about my cd'ing for 25 years. The reasons for keeping it secret is different for everyone, but mine was initially was that I thought I could beat it. I was so ashamed of this problem that I didn't want anyone to know anything about it. Over time you eventually learn that you can't fix it or make it go away. Then you are left with shame and the fear of what it will do to your marriage if your SO found out. None of us ever think about the damage that it does now to our marriage. The dishonesty works like a termite slowly destroying the marriage.

3) This one is definitely a "YES", but things have changed since we are preparing to file for divorce. The cd'ing has little to do with that decision but it is still a small part of the reason. I have always been a romantic and did little things for her as a surprise, but in the end it wasn't enough. I know this answer will send shockwaves, but I have to say it. The desire to dress does diminish when my marriage is Great and when the marriage isn't as good then the desire does increase. It has taken me a lot of years to see this correlation.

[2B Natasha]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

Answers

1) I like the way they look. I love the bold statements that you can make. The fabrics and the feel.

2) the ex. I tried to be open wither but. One. She didn't want to hear about it. Two I was young and couldn't put how I felt or why I felt the way I did at the time into words so Natasha would come out in the worst way and in shocking ways. No wonder she didn't want to talk about it. The current women I am interested in I told the first time we meet face to face. I had dropped hints earlier about it and she picked up on them. She wasn't freaked out in the slightest and as a matter of fact has been out with Natasha clubbing and shopping. None issue.

3) There is no possible way I could be more attracted to Natasha more then a GG. Manly the current interest. Natasha is just some fluzzy that likes to go out and dress up. The GG makes my heart sing and puts a smile on my face with just a thought of here and takes my breath away to look at. I was sitting having a coffee today when I recieved an e-mail from her. Just seeing that she wrote me almost, ok it did, make me cry with happiness. How could anything ever overcome that feeling?!

[Lynn Marie]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I like the way womens' clothes feel on my body. I also like the way I look, but that is more of a challenge to improve.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

No, my GF does not know. We don't live together, so that helps a lot.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

I like and love my SO. I also like my girl-side, but in a different way. I like things pretty much the way they are.

[Kaz]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

I like the idea that there is only one reason... I wish! So you want me to not tell you all the reasons? Well the one that come sto mind instintively is that I feel good in them. they are comfortable, they work for me... it just "feels " right... what you may like to know is how I feel about men's clothes...?

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

There is an assumption here that a lack of disclosure is a deception. I would suggest that is a flawed concept and there is a strong empirical base to support this. I love my SO and my family and will vigorously seek to protect them above my own interests, which in this regard is secondary and relatively low on any scale of human importance. I am VERY CLEAR about this. Does my SO know...yes, because she has found out things over the years.. have I denied anything...no... have we entered into discussions... no... I know the received wisdom from those who have had positive outcomes is that you should be open and honest.... but the received wisdom from those for whom this has created the disaster they feared leaves me convinced that I will protect and nurture those who I am committed to above all else. My values here are very straight forward.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

If you are asking me to choose... it is a no-brainer. My partner is the the most significant person in my life, with the possible complication of kids and now a grandchild... My responsibilities and my natural loyalties and love for these people are fundamental to my being. Would I put this at risk just so I can where pantyhose? I am too old and have been here too long. If I could do life again, given where we are now.. yeah I'd be open and honest. But the reality is that my SO (I think she is not so much an SO as a real person with feelings, attitudes, belief systems, etc.. by the way - the term SO serves to diminish this as it generices some fundamentally important interpersonal issues) does not want this level of detail... and quite frankly I respect that. I am sure many of you will tell me I am wrong and that and what she really wants is....

You may be right, and I am sure that I am possibly wrong.

Sorry... had a rant! the question? I don't understand it... are you asking me to choose between wearing girls' clothes from time to time and my whole family structure? Or are you asking me if wearing girls' clothes diminishes my love/feelings for my SO? Or is it more deeply personal? If my SO were to be more sexually active would this change things? Yes and No.

Hope this helps... when you get the questions right I will look forward to giving greater insights!

Love Kaz xx

[windycissy]

1. I wish I knew!
2. Nope. I keep my secrets well, no harm, no foul
3. Yep, especially when she dolls herself up in a nice dress...

[Angiemead12]

1) It started for fetish, now its just more comfortable and I love feeling and looking feminine

2) yes i am, it has its ups and downs! ups are she helps with my makeup, my photos, my poses, clothes shopping. downs are she is scared i will transition and leave her

3) i love my partner more than my girl side. without her i wouldnt be here.

[giuseppina]

1. It started as an escape and an indicator I was having trouble with bullies at school. The message didn't get through until well after I left secondary school.

2. I've never had an SO and I don't know if I ever will. It's only recently that I've felt attracted to a lady, but it's never gone beyond that. Having said that, it is my plan to inform a future GF of my likes at an appropriate time (when the relationship looks serious).

3. It's hard to answer this one, but I don't think autogynephilia applies to me.

[kaitlin]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
It's hard to explain, I just feel so much more in touch with myself, and I
very much enjoy the feel and look of my clothes!
2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
From the very beginning I was 100% honest with her as to how I felt! I told her
what I had done in the past and what I wanted to do in the future. She was all for
it, wanting to help in many ways!
3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side? More so! We are very
happy together!

[Babette]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

IMHO, I think feminine clothes sometimes look better on me than my male clothes. If you ask my wife, she would probably disagree.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?

100% open and honest.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?

If I were ever so inclined to try, I could never hold a candle to my wife. She puts me to shame in both charm and beauty. Therefore, I have no choice but to appreciate her to the fullest and enjoy doing so.

Babette

[5150 Girl]

1. Because in my heart, I am a woman

2. Yes, from the start. Somtimes she even does me up like I'm her life size Barbie doll...

3, I'm not 100% sure what the question is asking?

[Alice Torn]

[SIZE="3"]1) I don't know all the reasons I do it. They feel good, i have nice legs in hose and heels, maybe mother issues, other issues, try to look like lovely women i seen. Love certain styles and looks. Never had a steady girlfriend. 2) No SO at this time. 3) The lady i create in the mirror, is a version of a dream lady. Yes, she is my lady at this time.[/SIZE]

[Rachel Morley]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
It allows me to see on the outside what I feel on the inside. I want to (need to?) feel feminine often ("feel" often not necessarily "look" often). Crossdressing allows me to tap into and enhance a side of my personality that I think is healthy and benefits me emotionally, spiritually and ultimately enhances my life.

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?I am open and honest. She knew all about me before we were together as we met on a CD forum.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side? I am attracted to my partner way more than my girl side, but thankfully I don't have to make a choice as she likes a feminine husband (especially in how he acts), but hypothetically, lets say she didn't like it, I'd try my best to come to a compromise where I would be able to get a small amount if girl time without upsetting her. Her happiness is the most important thing in my life.

[Karenmarie]

1. I love to wear feminine clothing, I love the way it feels and its so much
more comfortable. Mainly, I love to present as a woman and WOULD
love to completely pass as a woman.
2. No, I'm not. My marriage would be over and my marriage is VERY
important to me.
3. I have managed to keep Karen secret for 15 years, even though I do
find myself "blowing up" for no apparent reason. So, I assume my
answer is that I'm more attracted to my wife then to Karen.

Hope that all of these answers will help you and good luck to you both.

Karen

[girlygirl152]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?
I wear girls clothing because it feels good and i really enjoy the styles and fashions and the fabrics there are to choose from

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship?
Im not out with my gf about doing this and it really does make me feel bad that i havent. I just truly worry about what she would say if she knew.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side?
Definetly! I love her more than anything and she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Ive truly never been attracted to any other girl but her

[theresa]

1) What is the number one reason you wear feminine clothing?

A compulsion to be who I am

2) Are you open and honest with your SO about your dressing? If not, how does the deception affect your relationship? Yes I am, although I know I am lucky and I totally understand some CD's not able to be fully open to their SO, even tho they want to.

3) Are you attracted to your partner as much as your girl-side? Oh yes.

[Chickhe]

1. This got me thinking. Could I CD without the clothing? It occurred to me that I dress to appear female. If I could appear to be female without the need for clothing that would also work for me, so I think I CD to appear to be a woman when I feel feminine. Why I feel that way is a mystery.
2. She knows and participates, but it is only on special occasions...I don't think a permanent change would fly.
3. It is apples and oranges. I love my wife, I don't love CDing...it is just something I need to do sometimes. It is not a competition.