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Thread: That Eureka Moment !!!!!!

  1. #1
    Platinum Member Sheila's Avatar
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    That Eureka Moment !!!!!!

    [SIZE="4"]For those of you with accepting partners family & friends only[/SIZE]

    Was there a moment where suddenly their acceptance became real for you, like "wow" it's not just words, they really do accept me for me.

    I ask because a friend of mine quite shocked me a while back when they told me when, "THEY KNEW", I really did accept them for them.

    Apparently my actions one day spoke louder than my words, and that was their Eureka moment of my acceptance

    If there was, was it something major or was it an inconsequential everyday thing?
    I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
    Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me

  2. #2
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    For a friend of mine, it was when she naturally got up and went to the ladies with me, just as if it was an everyday thing.

    For Sandra, it has been a process, no defining moment just an acceptance for who I am not what I am
    Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said

    The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another

  3. #3
    Silver Member Teri Jean's Avatar
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    Sheila thank you for the post as many of us loose that moment in the day to day of our CDing or transition. For me was when I finally realized I needed to transition, a co-worker came forward and said she knew for some time I was at least experimenting. Since that day she has helped me with advice and tips. She has included me in jewelry and clothing purchases. It is those few who make your way so much more pleasureable.

    Hugs Teri

  4. #4
    Cant help smiling Mirani's Avatar
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    When I was invited out as "one of the girls" and I received no special treatment, and was treated as one of the girls.
    Funnily enough, also when one of them needed the loo, she asked me if I wanted to go with her . .. . just like "one of the girls" AND .. I did laugh when sitting in the stall next to her, she started a conversation about false nails making pulling down her tights very difficult "dont you think" and I answered "NO, I am wearing stockings!"
    (she actually said," These effing scratchers are a b@st*** nuisance. I am taking my tights off!")

    Secondly when I was invited to a hen night;
    Thirdly, when I was invited to the wedding.
    Mirani - [meer-rahn-nee] Beauty to Behold; to "See" beauty

  5. #5
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    Each was different. Like Nigella, the acceptance with my wife was an ongoing thing. My crossdressing grew in front of her eyes, so I hadn't just told her and then looked for acceptance.

    With my daughter, it is a little harder to say as she accepted so quickly. So the primary time was after telling her, she came over and sat next to me and kept talking about it, no staying back or hesitating. After that, she wanted to go shopping and to a Tri-Ess meeting. So even a hardhead like me was convinced.

    And my son-in-law was just this week. He is pretty quiet, so I was concerned about being able to tell if he was uncomfortable. This week he saw Sue for the first time and afterwards, came into my computer room while I was there for all of us to talk. My daughter had to confirm it for me, but he probably would have stayed in the other room if he was uncomfortable. Sometimes it will be subtle I guess.

  6. #6
    Unexpected Woman Empress Lainie's Avatar
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    [SIZE=4]YEAH! Like I was the LAST person to know I was trans, really.

    And there was this transman I know, he was SO disappointed when he told his friends - they said:
    "What took you so long?"

    I knew she had complete acceptance when shortly after my transition my longtime gg friend of 20 yrs asked me to go to the ladies room with her.
    [/SIZE]
    Last edited by Empress Lainie; 04-25-2010 at 08:17 PM. Reason: added last paragraph
    [SIZE=2]Ascended Ancient[/SIZE]

  7. #7
    Mischief Maker Lexine's Avatar
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    Ever since I started pursuing CDing as a part of my life recently it's become really apparent who's able accept it for what it is and who's still coming to grips with what it means to me.

    For the friends who've accepted it as part of my lifestyle, only a small minority of them think that it's just my current obsession and, like most of my obsessions, I'll grow out of it. To the majority of my friends in that group, they still treat me the same way - just with a different set of clothes and with breasts - and respect my decision to pursue CDing.

    To the friends who are still coming to grips of what CDing is to me, they often confuse it with being gay or being outside of the norm. To most people in that group, they don't see why clothes can be genderless and feel that wearing clothing of the opposite gender is wrong. I've always adapted the stance of, "they're just clothes," and somehow they still can't think past this (I feel is a) very simple explanation.

    As far as my family goes... I'll probably never tell them. I've been a fairly private person when it comes to talking with my family and often times when I bring up something "new" they tend to get on the defensive up to the point that they severely invade my personal space. There's a reason why I moved out of my parents' house and I don't intend to feel like I still live under their roof - which is why I'll probably keep my CDing to my close friends and myself.

    I guess I'm blessed to have close friends who will not question what I do (except if its self-destructive) and can see through the clothes and see the real me. With that said, I promised myself that when I'm ready to have a SO in my life that she'll have to be as understanding and loving as my close friends.

    On a final note, I WAS dropping hints throughout the past decade or so that I wanted to pursue CDing. Only the sharp ones caught onto that

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Sheila's Avatar
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    irenetancd & ohitsjustalex,

    it is not about being accepted by others per see, the question is ....... have you ever had a Eureka moment, when someones words actually became a reality for you, that it finally hit "YOU", that yeah they saw for who you are, & not as you wished to be seen but as who you are
    I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
    Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me

  9. #9
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    For me, it was when my company threw me a party to celebrate the new me and invited customers, friends and even my next door neighbours! - around 70 in total.

    Seeing them all gathered, just for me, was a moment I will never forget - a moment I knew I would be accepted by all of them.

    That was nearly a year ago...

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    Last edited by Suzy Harrison; 04-26-2010 at 04:54 AM.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Jonianne's Avatar
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    Sheila, for me it wasn't quite a single eurika moment, but more of a long process. Even though Angel gave me my first wig, went to Triess meetings and took me out on my first outing - before we married - it still took a long time before I really let "it sink in". I suppose I really believed it, finally, when we were planning our vacation and she suggested I take cloths to dress at Niagra Falls and to take one leg of our train journey dressed, which was fantastic for me. In time, our having set boundries and groundrules made it possible to feel safe for both of us and to really enjoy being myself around Angel.
    Joni

    "Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free" Bob Dylan

  11. #11
    Junior Member WendyH's Avatar
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    I've never had a "eureka moment", it just slowly sinks in over time. Many people know and accept me for who I am now, but sometimes it still doesn't seem real.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Carol A's Avatar
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    I guess it was the moment when my mother ask me " hon would you rather be a girl"?, you see I was 14 when she caught me and told me playing dress up was fine. But when it became and everyday thing after a while she popped the question. Things just went from there and my wife knew going in to our marriage that I was a CDer as loving mother told her before we were married.
    Only time I ever stopped dressing up was while I done my time in the army.

    I guess it really set in on my 16 birthday she took me out and purchased me my first pair of heels and told me I was old enought to wear them now.

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