I know there have been recent threads on this subject, but here is one more, and buried amongst this gibberish, there is a valid question.
It all started about a week ago when my wife “slightly” changed the color of her hair. Well, actually she added a few highlights. I should point out that I’m very aware of minor changes in hair and makeup, and the impact they have on your “look” for both genetic women and also the transgendered. But in the case in question, the highlights were so very minor that they were hardly noticeable.
My wife however, while brushing her hair made the statement, “Now that looks 100% better.” I agreed, but said to myself, “I can’t see much of a difference.” By the way, I say a lot of things to myself, only because it’s much safer.
Granted, over the years I have changed the color of my hair numerous times, but the changes were a bit more drastic in nature. I started as a brunette, changed to a brunette with auburn highlights, went red, then blond, and finally where I’m at now, blond with darker roots and darker blond lowlights. With each of these hair color changes I was convinced that the change was beneficial and I looked much better…or so “I” thought.
Phase two of the story. My wife and I were out a couple of days ago for a day of over indulging in both food and shopping, and while at the restaurant I took a picture of my wife with my cell phone. I showed her the picture and her statement was, “Oh my God, I look terrible.” She went on, “Look how big my nose looks” and, are you ready for this, “My hair looks terrible.” Did I mention that my wife is a hair dresser?
She asked…make that, she told me to delete the picture and take another. Well, as you can guess, this one was as bad as the first. The third wasn’t much better, nor the fourth. I think it was around number fifteen that she made the statement, “well, that one is better.”
From my viewpoint and trying to be objective, I honestly thought that all of the pictures looked the same. Great. But that was my perception, not hers.
I started to think, over the years as a crossdresser I’ve taken, or had taken thousands of pictures of myself. First with film and then digital. The one thing I can honestly say about those thousands of pictures of myself is, 99.9% of them totally sucked. I couldn’t, and actually still can’t understand why when I look in the mirror I see one image and when stepping in front of a camera, that image changes. And not for the better.
My wife and I discussed this phenomenon and guess what? I’m not alone. She feels the same way about pictures taken of her. Even down to the same statement “I looked good in the mirror, but the picture looks hideous.”
She also felt the same way about my pictures. In other words, they all pretty much looked the same to her. But not me.
So, the assumption was, that the massive changes that “We” see in ourselves, probably go unnoticed to the rest of the world. She pointed out, that aside from different outfits, makeup color changes, and hair style or color changes, I for the most part pretty much look the same every time we go out. But yet, I am thoroughly convinced that I on some days look bad and other days, look less bad.
So, here are a couple of questions.
How many feel as I do that cameras are evil instruments of the devil and should be disposed of?
Seriously, how many see themselves or imagine themselves one way and find it different in pictures?
How many feel that their mental perception of their "Look" is either, exactly what the rest of the world sees, or entirly different from what the rest of the world sees.
Thanks for reading a very long post.
Rebecca