Admirers

[Blaire]

Admirer, chaser; crossdresser, transvestite... Isn't it amazing how much sugar we'll put on words to sweeten them up?

Way back when, I found they, "admirers", came in one of two types: the "Hi, how are you" type, and the "What are you wearing" type. I'd say the latter outnumbered the former significantly, at least from what I've seen. I'm sure that like everything else, there's another side to everyone and everything.

I have no idea what the face-to-face scene is like, so temper this accordingly.

The former may be a patient version of the latter, or may actually be a nice guy. The latter thinks we're here to give him some. I mean, we're guys dressed like girls, and the only reason to do that is because we don't have an "ask me, I'm easy" sign that's light enough to carry around.

As for the people drooling on the sidelines... he either wants to join in and show off his new lacy undies too, but he's afraid that his buddy that gave him a ride to the club "just wouldn't understand;" or they can't be bothered, knowing that their reason for being there will get fulfilled regardless of themselves.

So why doesn't the fantasy fall apart when she also knows that the very reason an admirer wants her is because of her penis? In other words, he doesn't want to be with a woman, but with a guy in a dress. Else he'd be chasing GGs.

That's not the reason the admirer wants her. He just doesn't care that she has one. Doesn't matter to him either way. GG, CD, TG, whatever. For him, they all have one thing in common: a desire to be in the... receptive position. The "admirer" is just looking for the faster cheaper way to get it.

[Sheila]

As far as my thoughts,Misty was right on! And I'll add that sometimes admirers have a fetish for some of "our look"[foundations,stockings,etc] that have gone by the wayside in the real GG world. So, we become a walking,talking ,model for them to enjoy.Something that is impossible in the real world. Enjoy the attention,it is only bad if you make it that way!

Sarah said

We went along to a regular event last night - magic-theatre.co.uk - but found that it wasn't as good as it usually is. The reason (we think?) is because there were a lot of 'admirers' or 'tranny chasers' there.

Where does that equate to GG's not wearing stockings etc in the real world ......... this was a specific dress up night, TG and GG were dressed, Sarah does not mention the GG's were being admired or chased, but the TG

[eluuzion]

I agree with the basic premise Misty presented (if I interpreted it correctly). Basically, "it is what it is".

You can't go to a circus and not expect to see clowns. Plus you do not have to join a circus to be a clown.

When you venture outside of the "mainstream", it is unrealistic to expect behavior to be "mainstream". It is just the price of admission. Regardless of what the key issue of a particular "group or community" may be, if it falls outside the boundries of society norms, it naturally attracts many of those with interests that do not exactly fall within the normal expectations of those in mainstream society.

I think it is illogical and unrealistic to expect the same respect, interaction and acceptance that GGs experience in mainstream society, when we are not a part of the mainstream. Common sense to me. It would be nice, but so would not having to work, yet having an endless supply of money in my bank account, lol.

There are all types of people, in any segment of life you choose to reside or visit. Just like everything else, you deal with the good and bad that comes with the party you attend. There are challenges everywhere in life, and happiness is determined by your attitude and what you choose to focus on.

just my thoughts.

[Sarah_GG]

Back to reality, and reality sucks, because any man who has a preference for T-girls is automatically labeled a "chaser" and by definition must be creepy and predatory. That's not fair and frankly some of you girls may need to take a broom to your own doorsteps before you start with the judging.

I disagree. I don't think any man who has a preference for T-girls is automatically labelled a 'chaser'. I keep on repeating that. What I have an issue with - out of prejudice, ignorance, fear, loathing... whatever - is a particular type of of person who thinks that a tranny is an easy option and guarantee of sex.

It seems that the consensus is fairly evenly divided - those who agree that these guys are a bit creepy and those who're quite happy to have them around.

Perhaps it's up to the venue to enforce a stricter dress code - these guys never dress with any effort - and consider an entrance fee hike, since they apparently don't like to spend much money either. The one thing that's made this night out so much fun has been the diversity of attendees. If that diversity shrinks down to just trannies and admirers... well, it changes the whole dynamic.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i am still loving this thread and learning alot...i wish some more folks that like trans people would chime in...

one observation is that in a setting where there are transfolk, there simply is not that many guys showing up, and some of them are wracked with the same guilt and shame issues we tend to have...and many of them are married or have SO's and they are doing this in secret...ummmmm, do any of you do this in secret? i know the answer, and i also know that you do it with a wonderful disguise of a totally different persona and your chance of getting caught out at the party is much less...

in a typical meat market bar...those lurking guys are a dime a dozen but there are soooo many guys that they don't stand out as much...

yes the stereotypical guys in trenchcoats that come up and ask if your boobs are real dont get it..and it's obvious that is all Sarah was saying in her post

unfortunately...for those of us that look down on the "Creepy" guys, now you know how some folks feel about us..

[Sarah_GG]

unfortunately...for those of us that look down on the "Creepy" guys, now you know how some folks feel about us..

And unfortunately you're probably right. Part of that, I suspect, is to do with the furtiveness of the CDers themselves. Add the 'chasers' to the mix and you end up with an unpleasant environment to be in. A down and seedy atmosphere.

Those who're able to celebrate their transgenderism, go out and about and dress and seem to have a healthy (or healthier) level of self-respect. It's what we try to instill in teenage girls - don't give yourself away so easily, value yourself and others will value you too.

[willowgurl]

This may be a little surprising because I date Men all the time, but it seems those who call themselves admirers are creepy indeed wanting only a quick, well you know. Willow

[Sheila]

I think it is illogical and unrealistic to expect the same respect, interaction and acceptance that GGs experience in mainstream society,

But why are you not a human being, entitled to the same common curtesy and respect as any other human ?

Don't give yourself away so easily, value yourself and others will value you too.

Now that is sound advice

[5150 Girl]

I found myself questioning what it is about these individuals that I find... well, a bit creepy.
I also find that they seem to 'letch' and drool a bit too much.

Agreed! Yes, there are a few gentlemen out there,,, but as a rule, (see above)

[DonniDarkness]

Hmmmm, lets recap 3 pages

Judges say....wait we have a late vote coming in.....here we are...

Introverts!!!....wait what does that mean announcer guy...

It means:

Definition: Contrary to what most people think, an introvert is not simply a person who is shy. In fact, being shy has little to do with being an introvert! Shyness has an element of apprehension, nervousness and anxiety, and while an introvert may also be shy, introversion itself is not shyness. Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people.

Introverts are more concerned with the inner world of the mind. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. They often avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy. This is true even if they have good social skills. After being with people for any length of time, such as at a party, they need time alone to "recharge."

Whew! So in other words Mr announcer guy, all of us are introverts for being uncomfortable around the very ppl that we either seek to meet or seek to meet us....

So how do we deal with it?

Dont let other people get to you......
Dont let others ruin your good time....

People can be creepy anywhere, it seems to me that a single person would be lonley forever if they chased off every person who chased them.... just saying

-Donni-

[Misty is Kindafem]

This may be a little surprising because I date Men all the time, but it seems those who call themselves admirers are creepy indeed wanting only a quick, well you know. Willow

You date men all the time but you don't like "admirers"? Your dates don't like trannies?

Listen T-girls, this is not fantasy land. We have MEN'S bodies. I know how we may feel about that, but the sad reality is that Mr hunky straight man is NOT going to date us openly. He is NOT going to introduce us to his friends. There are plenty of great looking and interesting guys out there who like T-girls but apparently the problem with them is they LIKE T-GIRLS so they're just too damn creepy.

My favorite guys are the ones who look, act and identify as "straight" but let's be serious here. I know and you know and they know that what we do together in bed isn't exactly "straight". It's not exactly gay either but that's because we're T-girls!

Some of these guys are indeed awful and they have about as much chance of getting under my skirt as they would Sarah's but just because a third of this group is disgusting doesn't mean the other guys aren't worthwhile.

Somebody brought up the undercover CD's who are out in secret and probably cheating on their wives. So maybe they hook up with some of these grubbier chasers. They deserve each other as far as I'm concerned, but they're grown up people doing grown up things.

I have had a fling or two, but it's ALWAYS on my terms. I'm not desperate for male attention as somebody said, but if I want to go out and play with the boys, and if I find myself attracted to someone, and if I end up sleeping with them, then I'm afraid that's just what's gonna happen and there's not a whole lot you're gonna do about it.

I don't need another mother, I'm not all that impressed with the one I was born with.

Sarah, I generally love your posts but we're gonna have to agree to disagree on this one. I hear what you're saying and I even agree with your opinion of some of these losers but I think you're way overboard with your characterization of men who like T-girls and the T-girls who date them. I submit that EVERY man who would openly date one of us is an admirer. If he didn't appreciate our unique difference then he wouldn't want to be with us. What is so wrong with that?

Reine, the reason the fantasy doesn't fall apart is because the fantasy doesn't go that deep. When I'm with a man, I know he knows what my anatomy has in store for him. He knows I know and neither of us pretend. Some guys like to ignore it, some guys don't. Each one of us has different needs and desires. My femininity is innate. I feel the way I feel no matter what I'm wearing or who I'm with. I have a penis so I use it. What else am I supposed to do with it? I don't have another way of getting it done. I will say that if a guy seems overly interested in that tiny appendage then I tend to lose interest in him and he won't be getting any happy time. ...but that's just me and there are many many gurls who know how to wield the sword if you know what I mean.

I also feel like I need to say that my opinions are firmly rooted in the CD/part time tranny perspective. The rules may change a bit for those girls that are full time and/or pre-op. I personally know some ladies that have had relationships with men that might have been otherwise straight. My presentation isn't quite there yet.

-Misty

[ReineD]

Well, you cleared that up! Thanks Misty.

[Fab Karen]

You date men all the time but you don't like "admirers"? Your dates don't like trannies?

Listen T-girls, this is not fantasy land. We have MEN'S bodies. I know how we may feel about that, but the sad reality is that Mr hunky straight man is NOT going to date us openly. He is NOT going to introduce us to his friends. There are plenty of great looking and interesting guys out there who like T-girls but apparently the problem with them is they LIKE T-GIRLS so they're just too damn creepy.

My favorite guys are the ones who look, act and identify as "straight" but let's be serious here. I know and you know and they know that what we do together in bed isn't exactly "straight". It's not exactly gay either but that's because we're T-girls!

Some of these guys are indeed awful and they have about as much chance of getting under my skirt as they would Sarah's but just because a third of this group is disgusting doesn't mean the other guys aren't worthwhile.

Somebody brought up the undercover CD's who are out in secret and probably cheating on their wives. So maybe they hook up with some of these grubbier chasers. They deserve each other as far as I'm concerned, but they're grown up people doing grown up things.

I have had a fling or two, but it's ALWAYS on my terms. I'm not desperate for male attention as somebody said, but if I want to go out and play with the boys, and if I find myself attracted to someone, and if I end up sleeping with them, then I'm afraid that's just what's gonna happen and there's not a whole lot you're gonna do about it.

I don't need another mother, I'm not all that impressed with the one I was born with.

Sarah, I generally love your posts but we're gonna have to agree to disagree on this one. I hear what you're saying and I even agree with your opinion of some of these losers but I think you're way overboard with your characterization of men who like T-girls and the T-girls who date them. I submit that EVERY man who would openly date one of us is an admirer. If he didn't appreciate our unique difference then he wouldn't want to be with us. What is so wrong with that?

Reine, the reason the fantasy doesn't fall apart is because the fantasy doesn't go that deep. When I'm with a man, I know he knows what my anatomy has in store for him. He knows I know and neither of us pretend. Some guys like to ignore it, some guys don't. Each one of us has different needs and desires. My femininity is innate. I feel the way I feel no matter what I'm wearing or who I'm with. I have a penis so I use it. What else am I supposed to do with it? I don't have another way of getting it done. I will say that if a guy seems overly interested in that tiny appendage then I tend to lose interest in him and he won't be getting any happy time. ...but that's just me and there are many many gurls who know how to wield the sword if you know what I mean.

I also feel like I need to say that my opinions are firmly rooted in the CD/part time tranny perspective. The rules may change a bit for those girls that are full time and/or pre-op. I personally know some ladies that have had relationships with men that might have been otherwise straight. My presentation isn't quite there yet.

-Misty

You said it all, girl.

[Barbara Dugan]

You date men all the time but you don't like "admirers"? Your dates don't like trannies?

Listen T-girls, this is not fantasy land. We have MEN'S bodies. I know how we may feel about that, but the sad reality is that Mr hunky straight man is NOT going to date us openly. He is NOT going to introduce us to his friends. There are plenty of great looking and interesting guys out there who like T-girls but apparently the problem with them is they LIKE T-GIRLS so they're just too damn creepy.

My favorite guys are the ones who look, act and identify as "straight" but let's be serious here. I know and you know and they know that what we do together in bed isn't exactly "straight". It's not exactly gay either but that's because we're T-girls!

Some of these guys are indeed awful and they have about as much chance of getting under my skirt as they would Sarah's but just because a third of this group is disgusting doesn't mean the other guys aren't worthwhile.

Somebody brought up the undercover CD's who are out in secret and probably cheating on their wives. So maybe they hook up with some of these grubbier chasers. They deserve each other as far as I'm concerned, but they're grown up people doing grown up things.

I have had a fling or two, but it's ALWAYS on my terms. I'm not desperate for male attention as somebody said, but if I want to go out and play with the boys, and if I find myself attracted to someone, and if I end up sleeping with them, then I'm afraid that's just what's gonna happen and there's not a whole lot you're gonna do about it.

I don't need another mother, I'm not all that impressed with the one I was born with.

Sarah, I generally love your posts but we're gonna have to agree to disagree on this one. I hear what you're saying and I even agree with your opinion of some of these losers but I think you're way overboard with your characterization of men who like T-girls and the T-girls who date them. I submit that EVERY man who would openly date one of us is an admirer. If he didn't appreciate our unique difference then he wouldn't want to be with us. What is so wrong with that?

Reine, the reason the fantasy doesn't fall apart is because the fantasy doesn't go that deep. When I'm with a man, I know he knows what my anatomy has in store for him. He knows I know and neither of us pretend. Some guys like to ignore it, some guys don't. Each one of us has different needs and desires. My femininity is innate. I feel the way I feel no matter what I'm wearing or who I'm with. I have a penis so I use it. What else am I supposed to do with it? I don't have another way of getting it done. I will say that if a guy seems overly interested in that tiny appendage then I tend to lose interest in him and he won't be getting any happy time. ...but that's just me and there are many many gurls who know how to wield the sword if you know what I mean.

I also feel like I need to say that my opinions are firmly rooted in the CD/part time tranny perspective. The rules may change a bit for those girls that are full time and/or pre-op. I personally know some ladies that have had relationships with men that might have been otherwise straight. My presentation isn't quite there yet.

-Misty

I agree with Karen , Misty said it all and I love when says ''My femininity is innate. I feel the way I feel no matter what I'm wearing or who I'm with'' because I feel the same way . I have to admit that I never had sex in my life with either men or women before I started dressing. because my lack of experience I ran across some of the creepy admirers and made one or two mistakes but I consider it a learning experience on the other hand I have met some really interesting guys that know pretty well what they are getting into.

[NatalieBliss]

I am heterosexual. For me it's flattering to be found attractive even if you aren't interested in the gender of those proposing. I mean who doesn't like knowing that others find them attractive?

I have been hit on by admirers that are creepy, but I have had some "patient wolves" as well. The worst of it comes from online.

[Sarah_GG]

Sarah, I generally love your posts but we're gonna have to agree to disagree on this one. I hear what you're saying and I even agree with your opinion of some of these losers but I think you're way overboard with your characterization of men who like T-girls and the T-girls who date them. I submit that EVERY man who would openly date one of us is an admirer. If he didn't appreciate our unique difference then he wouldn't want to be with us. What is so wrong with that?

Well, "these losers" clearly do float quite a few people's boats so they're obviously here to stay.

They clearly serve a purpose and have their place within transgendered society, but I'm afraid their general creepiness (and many posts have agreed that they are more often than not a bit sleazy) will probably inhibit many SOs from becoming involved in TG events.

That maybe an "overboard characterisation" but I'm certainly not the first to make the observation. Every book that I've read on TG mentions these 'tranny chasers' in derogatory terms.

[kellycan27]

How many of you protesters would be adverse to being approached by another male period? With all of the "I am not gay" disclaimers floating around this site, it kind of makes me wonder if your so called straightness might make you think that people who might be open minded enough to want to have a relationship with a TG person....... to be creepy.
I have run into my share of strange people too, and believe it or not a lot of them have been crossdressers, as well as some other TS folks.
Seems a little odd to me that if someone doesn't like fish..why they would want to hang out at the fishmarket, and then complain about the smell.

[Sarah_GG]

[SIZE="4"]Please do NOT misinterpret my posts as being anti men who want to have sex with T-girls.

REPEAT... I do NOT find men who want to have sex with T-girls creepy.

I am just talking about a specific, easily-recognised, type (ie a tranny chaser) at a specific type of event.
[/SIZE]

[Misty is Kindafem]

Well, "these losers" clearly do float quite a few people's boats so they're obviously here to stay.

Well, this is a matter of semantics then isn't it?

The dudes as you describe them, wouldn't float anybody's boat. Certainly not anyone I know

The real problem is more along the lines of what Kelly said. A lot of your support is coming from the self professed heteros. Some of it is even coming from people who's sole experience with men or "chasers" is online. So they're only "virtually" disgusted by these awful men. Since when is it a shocker that a hetero guy is disgusted by the idea of sex with a man anyway?

I think we can all agree that any girl with self respect isn't going to jump in the arms of some greasy fat guy with all the charm and appeal of a greasy fat guy.

Consider if the "creepy" guy looked like George Clooney. So there's George over there at the end of the bar and I can't help but notice he keeps checking me out. He's kinda scruffy and unshaven and he's wearing jeans and boots and a rumpled Tshirt. I walk by to get a closer look, and to give him a closer look at me, and I notice that he smells a little bit like he's been working all day. After about an hour, of him staring at me, I finally get up the nerve to walk over and say hi and ask why he's eyeball stalking me.
So he tells me he's sorry, but he's always been interested in girls like me but he's too shy and too scared (phobic) to say anything. He's been staring because I was the prettiest one he's ever seen. Awwwww I say, and I sit down to hear more.

He's a guy who's just terrified of his own desire. Anybody here know anything about that feeling?

Anyway, my point is, if he looks like Clooney, everything changes. It's like what Chris Rock said about Clarence Thomas; "if he looked like Denzel, than we would have never heard anything about it."

Also, how many of the hets are still disgusted by the description of a scruffy sexy George? The girls, who like men are all about meeting that guy, but the ones who don't are just hoping I don't describe the kiss. (which was wonderful by the way).

Basically what's creepy to one person is just another guy to someone else. Some guys look at me and are hopefully attracted, while some guys look at me and see a dude with makeup on. Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder after all right?

Misty may be barely a year old, but I've been a practicing homo/bi sexual for a long time (I've seen kittens and a cockatoo) and I can tell you that there is nothing inherently creepy or weird about guys that prefer TG chicks. Some guys do NOT want their man in a dress and some guys want their man ONLY in a dress. Different strokes folks. Who am I to judge? I'm a guy that wishes he was a girl!!

Whatever gets ya through the night baby.

-Misty

[Sarah_GG]

.... unique... deliciously glamorous.... mysteriously infrequent... and very, VERY good fun...

Created for a happy-dancing wildly mixed crowd of all romantic inclinations and gender identities, who come together to make a Grand Entrance, and to flaunt, flirt and pose in the finery of their choosing in the finest venues London has to offer...
Ladies
The perfect place for all you Cinderellas and Style Queens, Pink Princesses and Leggy Latex Babes… Audrey Hepburns and Barbarellas, TV's, Saucy Secretaries and Rock Chicks…Whether you’re a Goth Girl, Dowager, French Maid or Precocious Teen Queen, Marie Antoinette, or Marilyn Monroe,the Magic Theatre is YOUR stage.
Gentlemen
Retro Glamour, Uniforms, Lounge Lizards, Gentlemen of the Cloth, Fauns, B-Movie Stars, Prince Charmings, Pirates and Dandies of all kinds…Arise, Sir Galahad, kneel before Zod, come out, come out you Peter Pans, Dick Turpins and Darcys. You are welcome here…

Did you read 'computer geek with dribble down a cheesy smelling patterned jumper'? No. The point I'm making is that if one can't be bothered to make any effort whatsoever in the spirit of the evening like any of the above then don't go to this gig... just go to the 'fish market'!

And certainly none of these guys looked like George Clooney.

[Gerrijerry]

Ok on this one I have to say I have never meet a so called admirer that was not out for just one thing. obviously you girls know what that is. I have meet guys who obviously didn't know I was transgender and talked with me as they would with any woman. That has happened only when I was at a place like a movie or show or a museam and I was not looking of course being happily married

[StarrOfDelite]

Whatever gets ya through the night baby.

-Misty

Thanks Misty, this is probably the smartest and most comprehensive comment in this entire thread. Thanks for the words of wisdom.

[Sarah_GG]

Thanks Misty, this is probably the smartest and most comprehensive comment in this entire thread. Thanks for the words of wisdom.

You forgot to add "in my humble opinion".

[StarrOfDelite]

You forgot to add "in my humble opinion".

In my case I usually add "imnsho" since the humble genes were left out at the moment of conception.

p.s. edit: I do understand the complaints you have about the sloppy, seedy guys who drag down the general tone of a social affair. They aren't my cup of tea. I've never been out and about in London, but if you went to the event you described and found that it was infested with slobs, don't you think that your complaint would be more effectively directed towards the organizers of the event you described for not enforcing a dress code or something similar. If the organizers don't want to do that it might indicate either that the event can't succeed financially without the Admirers, or that other attendees like having them there.

Personally, I would rather have my bikini line shaved with a cheap, rusty Walmart razor than attend any event with lots and lots of CD's and TV's. I've been to the Pridefest in Key West, and once is enough. Like the Irish Rover, no, nay, never, no, nay, never, no more.

[tricia_uktv]

I'm afraid they are more scared than we are