When I retire, I plan on being an artist, since I have an artistic backround, so in essence I have no plan on fully retiring. I don't like the idea of rotting way & atrophying phyisically & spiritually.
Therefore I want to set up shop in a semi-tropical place near a beach, and become Nathalie full-time or part-time, I can't answer that question now which way to go. But by then,I will have nothing to lose.
My gender therapist, who knows that I dither about what I "really" am, asked me one session, "If you had to choose between living the rest of your life with only male clothes, or only female clothes, which would you choose?"Originally Posted by Michelle 51
And for all of my uncertainty and doubts, I could immediately answer "Female clothes!"
But there is a difference between wearing female clothes, and going the whole wig and makeup and shoes and voice and name change deal. I haven't worn much other than female clothes and (previously purchased) unisex clothes for close to four years. I wouldn't have any internal issues with having to always wear female clothes (and forms) in public; I have a constraint, of course, about how my wife would deal with that. I'd love to wear skirts and dresses to work. The main reason I don't go more obvious than I already have, is not for fear of "people making my life hard": rather the main reason is I know my management is really busy trying to keep the place running on a shoe-string, and the management would get upset about the two or three days-equivalent of disruption before setting down again.
Just like I cannot write a letter to the editor on any issue that touches important political policies: it isn't that there is a law about it (provided I don't claim to speak on behalf of my organization), but since my name is nearly unique in Canada, if I were to actually say anything, it would quickly be tracked back to me in the workplace context, and political pressure would be brought to bare to muzzle or fire me. The local leadership could probably turn that kind of thing aside once by citing the law, but the cost would be bad against the organization as a whole.
Thus, I have to read between the lines and take the part of discretion. Is this within my rights? Yup, sure. Is it within the rights of political masters to choose to take away our money and influence? Yup, sure.
[SIZE="3"]Ever tried reloading ammunition or cleaning your guns in a skirt. Somehow, it just doesn't feel right. I like the balance beween the two. Sometimes I'm her and sometimes I'm him. I'm confident and like myself in both genders. Maybe it's age, I'm just not questioning myself that much anymore.[/SIZE]
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
Well the only things that i got to say is, baby Make your dream real...
Isn't good to live an dream's world, in the end of your life you ll look behind and say "why not did this or that".
Now i can't be a complete woman, may be an day, may be never, but today i have 20 year old.
I want do somethings that as TS i cannot do now.(or ll be hardest =p)
Personally I think that the need to be a woman shouldn't be based on just the urge of wearing female clothing only.
My long time urge to be a woman has ZERO to do with clothing.
No fair! I was gonna say that!
I feel I have a very androgynous personality. A few years back I took an online version of a test that's supposed to gauge your fe/maleness ... called something like COGITO? My result was smack in the middle. I realize you have to take those tests with a grain of salt, but that result really resonated with me. If you consider the things I like to do ... I like to tinker with machinery. And I like to watch "chick flicks"--at least well-made ones, but they don't make me cry. I don't like to watch sports or go hunting, and I also don't like shopping for its own sake. Et cetera. Mostly enjoy more gender-neutral activities like making music, photography, cooking, reading.
And over the last couple of years I have occasionally thought about whether I wanted to live as a woman, and I always said, "No, but I'd like to be able to switch back and forth. If I could. But I can't." Until, finally I said "Why the hell can't I?" Maybe it's pretend, but it sure feels real at times. And I'm now more sure than ever that that's the right answer for me.
I'm also noticing that since coming to terms with crossdressing, I am much more comfortable in my everyday male persona. I guess I'm okay with being a man, as long as I don't have to do it all the time.
The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.
--Eleanor Roosevelt
I agree. A woman doesn't get turned on by those clothes, she just wears them because that's what females wear. If you get turned on by it, you're probably just "someone" having an adventure with something feminine. As you age, your sexual drive wanes. So maybe he's confusing that with gender identity or something. I don't know. This isn't black and white. I could easily be wrong. I also have a chip on my shoulder because i sometimes use female clothes for sexual release, and absolutely do not want to be a woman, in fact, female clothes are much better on females than on me.
I'm not a man's man though so I don't have any room to speak about this. Maybe he's right in some way.
I've seen some studies linking gay men with the brains of hetero woman and lesbians with the brains of hetero men. And, oddly enough, lesbians also tend to have a fetish for shiny smooth clothing. That's exactly what I have. I am hetero male. Hetero woman do not get a sexual response from wearing female clothes like some lesbians or males do. I do not know if normal hetero men are this way, perhaps there's an area between woman and men where this fetish resides. I'd also like to relate another thing I've found. Gay men tend to have a fetish for leather and muscles. This fetish is also assocated with some hetero woman. Interesting isn't it. So maybe some normal hetero men do like shiny smooth clothing. Or perhaps woman who have a fetish for leathers and muscles are not the norm for woman. The reason I ask is because I am not exactly a man's man. I'm kind of weak by a man's standards. Not strong with a capital S. That's why I think of some kind of middle area between man and woman where some of these fetishes exist. If you can show me a sufficient sample of manly men who're strong in every definition of the word (no metro-sexuals allowed) and also have a fetish for shiny smooth clothing, then perhaps I am wrong and am simply extrapolating from my own narrow experiences.
I have one potential explanation for the idea that there's an area between woman and men where these fetishes are. A weak man has a deficit. His body is not as manly as it could be. So he compensates by adjusting his desires only halfway to woman, and the rest is targeted on a fetish like shiny smooth clothing. Hypothetically, woman who also feel deficient in some way will adjust their desires in the same manner. In this sense, fetishes compensate for a debt in the body. If you have a debt, it's more difficult to compete for the opposite sex, and thus to fulfill desire. Do you understand? So the bar has to be lowered or adjusted in some way so you can successfully reach fulfillment. In my case, perhaps I lowered my expectation of a female by putting more emphasis on shiny smooth clothing, thus making fulfillment more attainable in my particular circumstances. Of course, i do not know how this would relate to lesbians and gays. How would they feel deficient? Perhaps I have not very well defined debt. Maybe it could be mental, or multi-dimensional. This is just an idea I thought up while making this post. So don't sit and think about it for hours and hours or make a big rebuttal.
Last edited by gemsay32; 04-28-2010 at 05:53 AM.
Since I talked with my wife about dressing more when I retire. I found out that she felt it was simple. we can move to another place where we start retired live and I dress full time. But in no way can I live that way where we live now. Now it is never where her friends can see me. She also stated "you will dress as a woman 24/7 so people always see you that way. (No games today I do tommorrow I don't. That she felt would be to hard to deal with). What others say does have an effect on wives. So from my wifes point of view it is simple you dress full time so others see you as a woman all the time or don't do it around my friends where I have to explain all the time.
Madeleine, reading your response gave me a huge smile. Especially the chick flicks....I can't stand them in masculine mode! Really! But Tina has such fun watching them with my wife as girlfriends! It's gotten more and more that Tina has her own projects and books. If I don't have "tina time" for a while I start to miss these parts of my life, and then realize that it is Tina that I miss and that these parts are HER life.
This is a really strange adventure, but it's one heck of a good ride!!! So not only does part of me want to be feminine, it seems that part of me has already become Tina, and that part is growing...slowly, but growing.
Madeleine, Try duality. ....as my black swithbox below indicates. Take that route as far as you can until you decide that you don't need both channels. That's how I'm doing it.
Why give up either if both makes you happy? ...just sayin.
I find that as I get older I am much more comfortable dressed en femme than in my male stuff. it seemed the key moment was when the last child left the house...and the freedom that allowed. I still move between m/f but spend the majority of my time at home en femme. Now if I could just get out of the house and out into the world - love to just go shopping and have lunch with my wife...like one of the girls.
If you could you can Michelle. Think about it hun.
Angie
Personally I think that the need to be a woman shouldn't be based on just the urge of wearing female clothing only.
My long time urge to be a woman has ZERO to do with clothing.
A bit of wisdom from a junior member.
Being a woman has NOTHING to do with the clothes.
If the clothes turn you on, just wear 'em. But DON'T ever make the mistake of thinking you want to be a woman because you like the feeling of nylon clad legs rubbing against your slip. That ain't what it's all about by a LONG shot.
Stephenie
As I have gotten older (Turned 50 in December) I want to live more and more as a woman full time (if not transition). I think it also has to do with my metastic colon cancer.
I sometimes think that my male side is the one with cancer and the Maggie side is the one that is cancer free. Silly I know.
hugs - maggie
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Maggie
Let Yourself Be Free[SIZE="2"][/SIZE]
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