crossdressing=pedophilia?

[Sarah Doepner]

If you can get your brother to listen for a moment remind him that he has put your health in danger based on a limited understanding of what he sees. Did he think in that one moment that all the years of love and support in the family could evaporate? Let him know that he is wrong in his assumption and if anything bad happens to you it is his doing. Don't argue with him, just lay out the facts.

Then you need to look for alternative living arrangements if possible. I would be very worried to live in an active gang neighborhood where the members of that gang didn't like me.

[Hope]

My brother thinks cross dressing is proof that people are pedophiles.

Congratulations. You have an idiot for a brother. Unfortunately, there is no cure for stupid, you either put up with it or you discontinue your contact with the infected person. I always recommend the second option.

Ironically he made the same claim about gays when his girlfriend dumped him for another girl. So he hates all gays and thinks all gays are perverts who molest children.

Actually, research shows that those who are most homophobic harbor the deepest homoerotic feelings. He hates gays because he has homoerotic feelings himself and he is living with the shame and the inability to suppress those feelings. His lashing out in this way is his way of diverting homoerotic attention (temptation) away from himself, and a means of suppressing his own urges.

If I were you, considering that a lot of his ranting seems to be about pedophilia, I wouldn't trust him around kids.

I think the reason he thinks that, is that he spent too much time hanging out with gang members and street thugs.

And, you know, because he is gay. And in the closet, and lacks the emotional maturity to recognize it in himself, and lacks the community support to be honest about it.

He found the dress in my closet and now he is comparing cross dressing to the worst crime in America. I cannot reason with him because he is very narrow minded because of the culture and type of people he chooses to hang out with.

So don't try to reason with him.

The reason you can't reason with him is because this isn't an issue of logic and reason. This is an emotional issue.

Also recognize that in his mind you are an "abomination" and as an abomination you have 0 influence on him. Anything you say will be understood as a lie or wrong or an attempt to recruit him to your "perverse" "lifestyle."

He is demanding an explanation and I honestly do not feel that I owe him one. Except to tell him he is 100% wrong.

You don't owe him an explanation. But that won't prevent him from hurting you.

To make matters worse, he broadcasted my business to the entire family and the whole apartment complex. He's at a club now and probably broadcasting it there too.

Yeah - you should probably not be living with this guy. I certainly wouldn't live with some one who has shown himself to be untrustworthy, oblivious to the needs of others, mentally incompetent, emotionally unstable and violent. That is a tragedy looking for a reason to happen, and your "disgusting perversion" may just be that reason.

Seriously. bail. now.

[stefanie]

okay...let me start off with your brother is a short sighted knucklehead ....so enough of that now.....

I have found is that he is putting you in the defensive and well, quite frankly, you will not be able to stand his attacks and viewpoint. If you attack back by being further insulting, he will most likely become further hostile and well, perhaps spread even more. He is trying to shock you, egg you on, make you the victim given his own insecurity.

Sometimes the best response instead of trying to defend what he does not understand is simply by stating how you feel....eg mean, sad, sorry to hear that he feels that way, disappointed in him, ...this moves it away from the dressing and makes it human again.

good luck

[paulaW]

WTF?

Sorry, I got nothing. I've never heard of that before, and find it quite ignorant.

[Tanya83]

That is horrible and I hope someone talks some sense into him.
Really can't make that kind of false accusation in this day that's for sure.

[Lover girl]

I'm also no expert on gangs. They do have a collective mentality. They react to anything they don't understand. I have never heard any link to crossdressing people being pedophiles. Crossdressing is more like a statement of who you are as a person!!! Pedophiles are just plain sick in the head. I've never heard of any link to gays being pedophiles either. Your brother is out of his mind with statements like that. I also have a brother that thinks like your brother does. He's not part of any gang. My brother thinks that transgender and gays are sick in the head. He also thinks that Hitler had the right Idea but just went about it the wrong way. I don't listen to people that talk so stupid!!! Pedophiles need to be in prison. CD's gay's and lesbian's need to be accepted for who they are....Good People

Be very careful with this. Get out of there if you can. I pray for your safety and well being. Please keep us posted on your status with your life and your brothers stupidity. God bless you!!!!!!!!!!

[Stormgirl]

I read all the comments and what I wanted to say has pretty much been said already.

Get out there! Eject! Eject! Eject!

Good luck and keep us apprised with the situation.

[sherri52]

outed by your brother and he is in the hood. One thing though, you are less likely to go to jail than he is. Can't do anything about him telling the world, hope it all works out ok.
Sorry you had to go through it.

[docrobbysherry]

Your brother's a lost cause! Forget about educating him!
It's the OTHER neaderthals I'm worried about!

What if he tells someone, or THAT person tells someone that is carrying a grudge against "perverts"?

Have u considered that u may be in DANGER, Bob!?

[Amanda Styles]

It sounds to me like your brother has far more problems than his brother with a dress in the closet.
Gang members and street thugs, sheesh, he must be a real moron, hence his screwed up ideas about crossdressing equals pedophile.
I tend to think he is lashing out because he is feeling sexually inadequate due to his loss of a girlfriend to another female.
As for an explanation... he deserves none, tell him to fix his own problems first.
I assume you both live under the same roof, so I am confused about the homeboy and hood references.
Maybe he just wants to think his middle class neighborhood classifies as the hood, and it makes him feel
more macho to call himself a homeboy.
I think he has a lot of problems to deal with and if he really is a gangbanger and not just a wannabe you probably will not have to put up with his closed mindedness for long.

Good Luck,
Amanda

[vetobob9]

My sister has also been telling me for a long while to move. I regret that I cannot currently do that. I have couple more weeks before I graduate from a cal state university. after that I need to find work and I've been asking my sister about the prospects where she is because she said I should move to her state, Texas.
The other thing is, I'm a leader in my community and I'm organizing the city's first 4th of July Marathon. Not to mention i frequently attend city council meetings, but never in drag (is that the correct word?).
I do political analysis and consulting.

My other sister is into SDM and when she said so, he went after her. That was five months ago. LOL

More info: I live in an area that is currently under a gang injunction. A year ago one gang member shot and killed another member in front of my gate while children were playing barely 4 feet away.

[t-girlxsophie]

Sorry,but clearly your Brother isn't destined for a long life on this planet,If
his views on Crossdressing are anything to go by,he is clearly Intolerant of
a lot of People,He only need repeat his loathesome views to the wrong person to get himself Into trouble

[Tracii G]

Well seeing you told him it was yours I assume is kinda bad I would have said it was a gift for a GF and you didn't want to wrinkle it so you hung it up.
Second thing I would get him alone and tell him to get off your back and apologize for being an ass.
Tell him you will unload all you know about his ex and how he couldn't perform sexually so she left him for a woman.
Then beat the living shit out of him.

[zoe m]

i´d say try to move out of there as soon as you finish school. and be careful!!! best of luck.

[Nicole Erin]

Tracii ain't kidding. If there is one set of toes here I would not step on, it would be Tracii's.

Now about gang members shooting each other, that is what you call "the trash taking itself out"

Thing is, your brother is just making an ass out of himself. Unless you yourself are involved in a gang, it is unlikely anyone will do anything. They might talk about it but probably not take any action. However, do be safe for the time being.

See, your brother doesn't realise this - with him being related to you, he is guilty by association, I mean doesn't he think people will give HIM crap as well?

It sucks when a true ass is one of our own family, but I guess all families have one in it.

[AmandaM]

Your brother has no deep secrets probably, he's just living in a hyper-masculine subculture where any hint of gayness/weakness/what-have-you is seen as "unmanly" and therefore unworthy of respect. It hurts him deeply that his brother is a freak. It cuts him to the core. He may never get over it. You have hurt him that much. But, he is hurt cause his perspective is messed up. He sees life thru his gang glasses. Until he wakes up, and decides family is more important that his gang or being "macho", you had best move in with your sister in a couple of weeks. Try to keep him at arms distance until then if that's what it takes. As he gets older, he may come around.

[Samantha_Smile]

Im sorry, what?
Crossdressing is proof that people are paedophiles now?
Crossdressing is the worst crime ever is it?
Homosexuals are paedophiles too, eh?

Im no psychologist, but your brothers fixation on paedophiles suggests to me that he's trying to label others as paedophiles to take the heat off himself. Does your brother hang out by the school gates a lot?

God damn, I feels so sorry for you having to share that gene pool. I dont want that to be insulting to you, because you obviously don't deserve it (at least as far as I can see), but your brother probably should have been a blowjob instead.
Sorry to be so graphic, but theyre my feelings.
I find it difficult to share a planet with crettins who seek to humiliate, degrade, persecute, discriminate or otherwise harm ANYBODY without serious provocation.
At the risk of sounding nieve and idealistic, can't we all just get along?

Seriously though, do you suspect that your brother might be into kids?

[siantv2003]

when family members have such a narrow minded view of the world and cannot be bothered to take the time to even try and understand what we go through as cross dressers - its even worse when they go and make stupid statements like this!

The point has already been made earlier in the posts but the best form of defence is attack - maybe your brother is hiding his own 'dark secret' which he cannot face and causes him to lash out like this - either that or he is just totally ignorant! Hopefully the former cos there not much that can be done for the latter

You take care of yourself and be careful - you've done nothing wrong

[Angiemead12]

wow thats terrible, I hope your ok! Im glad my brother is supportive of me and anything I do.

[Julezz]

"Go ahead and change the styles up, And if they hate then let them hate and watch the money pile in" -Kanye

I think he was talking about sunglasses...same difference

[giuseppina]

Hello Vetobob

Your brother does not sound like a positive influence at this time, and where you live seems unsafe.

You would be well advised to move to a safer place once you graduate.