Ultimatum just around the corner

[Sarah Doepner]

Put me in the mix with the others who suggest the counselor. Even if the experience fails to save your marriage, it should create new lines of communication and get some of the daily stress out of your lives. I don't know about you, but when I get stressed I want to dress a little more. That kind of toxic environment would have me in a skirt every day and if I couldn't do that I would probably be making even worse personal and relationship decisions.
Being able to make decisions clear-minded without all the conflicting emotions is going to be your best result as a couple. A counselor should be able to get you there. The decisions you make will be yours and you wifes, but hopefully not the result of misunderstanding, frustration and anger.
Good luck

[mklinden2010]

What is it that you have done to her?

She's known about this for twenty years and has hung around - you have both hung around - and the result is that twenty years later nothing has changed.

Consider a change - a change for the better.

You can get another wife, she can get another husband.

Neither of you is going to get another life to live.

So, how about living this one better - either together or apart?

Love is never HAVING to say you're sorry just to stay stuck someplace.

That's self-blackmail. That's compromise for the sake of no gain at all.

You're happy crossdressing and want a better life with someone who's happier with that..

She'd be happier being with someone who didn't do and like what you like.

Own it as more mature people and wiser adults and both of you move on - either in this relationship or the next one.

Live happy.