Ive been crossdressing on and off for several years but recently I have not had the same exciting feeling putting on the clothes as I used to and sometimes I even feel silly dressed up. I do still have a keen interest in womens clothing and footwear. So, do some crossdreessers 'grow' out of it over time or are cd's cd's for life and the urge to dress just come and go during their lifetime?
i don't think there are any rules but from what i can make out it always comes back,thats just what i've read though cos for me it never goes away.when i was a kid i'd dress,pleasure myself then feel silly but i don't do it for that anymore so i never feel silly
Well, its been almost 40 years since my first early childhood experience. there have been lulls - usually due circumstances beyond my control - but I'm more interested in being dressed than ever. I think that's the most common experience, but I'm sure there are individuals who's interest has waned over time.
Now, this is all speculation on my part, but the explanation could be whether CDing is motivated primarily as fetish or a gender identification. I'd characterize a fetish as a strong association between dressing and sexual gratification (not that there's anything wrong with that). My guess is that the fetish aspect may wane a bit over time. But if is associated gender identification, then it may be more enduring. I would fall more in the latter category.
And of course, some people just like the way women's clothes look & feel.
I think it's quite common for it to come and go, I've had it come and go a few times, in fact it only recently came back with me after a four month period of not "dressing".
I've never heard of anyone stopping for good, though if they did, would they come here and tell us anyway?
Remember that old joke: All generalizations are false, including this one.
You will find people on here stating positions with a level of certainty that amazes me. My feeling about this is that since none of us here can tell you where this urge comes from, I don't think we can tell you when and if it goes.
That said, I used to believe strongly that humans are rational creatures, possessed with both logic and free will. After several life experiences, I am not quite as smug about assuming we are in control of our own faculties. Maybe it is the psychotropic drugs I have been taking for depression.
Liz
Kafka once wrote about a dresser who woke one morning to discover he was now a coffee table.Sorry, I couldn't help myself. It's kind of like my crossdressing. A lot as a teen, a little as a young adult, not much again until my 40's and now it comes to mind all the time and is always welcome. It hasn't been something to fight against and since I finally understood that it is a significant part of my personality this is something I have been trying to cultivate a little more. The only time I really feel silly is when I get home with a new outfit that maybe would have worked for me 40 years ago.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
CDing is a behavior that may or may not get repeated.
If it gets repeated it gets repeated because it serves some useful purpose or purposes in someone's life.
There may be other things that would work better, there may not, but once you know a behavior, it becomes an option to select as you go through life.
I don't worry about it much. I know people who played football in High School, or, baseball, and they became life-long fans. This in spite of the fact that they haven't played football or baseball since high school or college, it does nothing to keep them in shape, it costs a ton of time and money to "follow a team," and, it seems more like a bad habit that they pester their wives, kids and neighbors with than anything else. Still, people go along, tolerate it, or, encourage it because, "Hey, it keeps 'em busy. It makes 'em happy. They could do worse."
That's life.
All I can tell you is that whatever makes you happy, be happy with it and do the best you can at it while being a good person.
I'm trying to find the old routine, I think it was Flip Wilson, who said,
"I had this uncle growing up who went around dressed as if he was my aunt. No seriously, my uncle went around dressed like a church lady all over the neighborhood. But, he was a great uncle. I never had any doubt that if I got in any trouble with anybody that he'd come flying into the fight with his size 12 pumps in his hands screaming, "You get your hands off that boy or I will give whup your ass but good!"
yes it does come and go but it is always there because that is who we are and it comes and goes as we progress along in life but it is always there and when you retire it's much stronger - just enjoy it when you feel it - Ellen
[SIZE=2]Sorry,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]I've never heard of anyone that was a CDer quit for life...once a dresser, always a dresser until the day you die...When those feelings go away for a while, in time it seems to never fail, it comes back & comes back with a vengence...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Karen[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]I really do have the...Right To Be Wrong.. [/SIZE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkSTG...eature=channel [SIZE=2]and my mistakes will make me strong![/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Just call out my name...and I'll come running...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SxTo...eature=related just lovin classic JT again...[/SIZE]
Sometimes I just feel plain silly whether I dress or not. The clothes have little to do with that. Anyway, the urge to splurge or purge is mostly an individual thing as are the "cycles".
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
My dressing is not for gender identification, but rather for pleasure. I dress less now than twenty years ago, but that's because of circumstances (less time/place/opportunity for privacy). I suspect that as my body ages I will dress less because the effort/payoff relationship will change. But I will always believe myself to be a crossdresser, even after I stop dressing if that day ever comes.
Sarah is having fun with you. Kafka's Character awoke as a giant cockroach, (see...things could be worse) and the gist of The Story is about how badly you will be treated if your "different!"Originally Posted by Sarah Charles
Kafka once wrote about a dresser who woke one morning to discover he was now a coffee table.
No, we don't have ALL The Answers, but The General Consensus among thousands around here is: "Especially when your younger, The Feelings can come and go." "They may disappear for many years, but they seem to always come back." Perhaps there are many "triggers" in Society that make it darn near impossible to eradicate The Feeling. It is safe to say, that even if you "abstain" from dressing, if your thinking about it, if it's still "in your head," you haven't resigned!
To accept who you are, and not worry if it will come and go or not.....that's The Key to understanding.
Peace and Love, Joanie
Last edited by sterling12; 05-20-2010 at 07:02 PM.
Once a dresser always a dresser. It has yet to go away for me. In fact it is getting stronger by the day. It may be tied to stress at work.
[SIZE="3"]So now if you quit CDing, how would anyone here know? Has anyone ever stated I'm quitting and never coming back? If so, who checks on them to make sure they are sticking to it? Does anyone really care after a few days? If you can quit smoking, you can probably quit CDing. Just like smoking, you have to label it as bad for you and go do the manly stuff you normally do, maybe even over-compensate a little![/SIZE]
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
I've also read a lot about it and they all say it never goes away,I know my self I have tried to stop a few times and it just comes back stronger, now I just enjoy it, its a part of me.
The desire has waxed and waned for me for many years. I'm currently in "full moon" state... as in, dressing is not optional.
Some years ago I did stop completely, for a 5 year period. I thought it was best for our entire family. My dear wife knew about my CD'ing before we married because I told her. We did agree to keep it a secret from our two children. But later on I decided it was best if I stopped entirely, so I did.
But after 5 years, my wife decided that she wanted Stephanie back in our life again. We did a lot of things together as 2 girls and she missed that, or so she told me. So I started dressing again, and now I still do although she passed on just a little over 5 years ago. Doing so helps me to remember the almost 50 years we had together!!
Stopping is not easy, but it can be done if you have the mindset to do it!!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
This is an interesting thread. I cant say that crossdressing has ever been 'exciting' for me. It's allways been more of a 'comfort' for me when dressed. When I go out dressed or am inside dressed, it just feels more natural. I'm a more relaxed person, more communicative I think.
I tend to think those who experience the 'exciting' (sexual?) feelings some people have tend more toward the fetish side. (Don't throw things, its just my opinion, what do i know !?!). With fetish's, when the novelty wears off, it's either replaced with something else as exciting' or set aside, until the lack of participation builds up the novelty factor again and it becomes 'exciting. Just from reading posts here there seems to be a real difference between a person who experiences the fetish side of crossdressing and those who crossdress because of a gender identity disorder (God I hate the word Disorder, let change it to Disconnect instead !).
So for me, i'd dress 24/7 if i could, but realize that thats not possible because of work, so ive had to become comfortable with when i do.
Kelly
cant say i have ever decided to stop dressing.infact since 2001 when my first marriage ended I have pretty much dressed non-stop its got stronger in last few years since I met my wife.probably old age will stop my dressing in its tracks.but who knows.My friend though IS giving it up though.think she is tired of all the ducking and diving she has to do to get even the cpl days a month she can dress.I have said to her im not sure if she will do it.but she may surprise me,I cant put myself in her shoes.I will miss her though
We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire
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A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a roseFacebook:Sophie Johnson
Once a dresser always a dresser?
Until the house catches on fire, then the dresser becomes ashes.
However,
Once a crossdresser always a crossdresser.... does not apply to all.
Just ask the spouses of those that come out initially as crossdressers and then transitions a short time afterwards.
My mind is officially programmed for gender expression of the opposite gender, even if what's in my pants is not. Once it's there, it's there.
Why fight it?
Live life, enjoy it.
I think we all have cycles (just like our bio-rythyms) where we hit peaks and valleys in our desires to dress. My cycles seem to be at their lowest in the warmer months,with the dead of winter being it's peak. Anyhoo, that's just myon this one.
A very good response, Kelly, except for the part quoted. I dress for pleasure, and it's mainly driven by fetish for certain items. I much prefer to dress and make up completely, but there are things alone that can excite me, and that makes it by definition a fetish. Those things that by themselves excite me have done so since my age in single digits, and they still arouse me to this day, decades later. You did qualify your remarks by saying you dress for comfort rather than excitement; likewise, I am not qualified to say what it's like to dress from your perspective. I wish more CD's, like you Kelly, would understand that we all aren't driven by the same thing.
+1. I just feel like I'm supposed to be dressed, and behave, like a girl. But there's no congruent sexual interest at all to go along with it.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I dont think i will ever stop dressing.. i have gone for a couple years before withough dressing but i always have the erge. Ill be shopping and see i girl walk by in a cute outfit and thnk to myself i love that top... usually i stop dressing because i have a girl friend an dont want to tell her. Im not a very trusting person with such details of myself.
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