Second time out

[Cheryl S.]

OK ladies since my first post several months ago I took to heart what some recommended I do about going out in public. Being my second time out I didn't want a repeat of my first scary confusing incident so I decided to take it slow. I decided I would take today off from work and give it a try. Carefully I chose my outfit for the day laying them out on my bed; nice black push up bra, low rise black panties, stockings, nice flare bottom jeans, a tight fitting black tee, my red patent 4 1/2 inch pumps and my shoulder length wig. After showering I put on makeup and donned my outfit. I next decided to go for a drive. I was nervous that I might be seen by neighbors so waited till they were well at work then got into my car for a leisurely drive. Once in the car I felt this rush of excitement and also fear I might get pulled over by a police officer for some unknown reason ( not sure how I would handle that situation). I drove about for a half hour then ended up in a nearby mid size town. Pulling onto a side street I thought I would try and muster up some courage to walk the block and just do some window shopping. At the time there weren't many people about. I browsed a few window and then headed back to my car. Nearing my car I noticed three hispanic men in their twenty's standing about talking not 10 feet in front of my car. As I approached I noticed the one facing me staring at me. I immediately felt this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach but maintained composure as I headed towards my car. As I came even with the three men they all looked at me and started making comments in Spanish. I ignored them but managed to hear several words that were not complimentary. The least offensive word I understood was maricone said by the younger of the three as he grabbed his crotch. They all got a laugh out of it and continued the comments most of which I did not understand. Really nervous of an incident about to happen I remotely unlocked my car and quickly got in. I left the area and headed home. Arriving home I felt somewhat nervous yet exhilarated that I accomplished my second outing with minimal trepidation. I don't know what gave me away be it my mannerisms, lack of makeup skills or what. Hopefully, I will try this again soon though.

So here are some questions maybe someone can help me with:

1) does anyone know any good TG friendly makeover/photoshoot artists in the Washington to New Jersey corridor area that you would recommend?

2) could I have handled the confrontation any differently?

3) and should I get stopped by a police officer how should I handle the situation and what could I expect?

Any and all comments are greatly appreciated.

[AllieSF]

Well you do seem to have some bad luck. But you got out and did your window shopping. That is a big positive and step forward. Congratulations. Regarding your questions: I can't help with the first one. You handled the situation just fine. Ignore them, keep your eye on them as you get in the car and leave, without running away in a hurry. Treat getting stopped by the police the same as if you are in male mode. be polite, answer their questions honestly and don't volunteer additional information. I have been stopped twice late at night, once in California and once in Michigan and the police treated me professionally with no problems. I do recommend carrying a change of clothes, loose fitting sweatpants, top, makeup remover and male shoes just in case you need to fix a flat, or whatever.

[Sallee]

good recommendation.
I am sure some one here will recommend a place in your area there are probably lot of place in that area

[Persephone]

Congratulations on your adventure Cheryl! And congratulations on your handling of a potentially difficult situation.

One question -- were you in an area that a GG wearing 4½ inch heels and an outfit similar to yours would have gone alone? Many of us seem to take risks that GG's would instinctively avoid. Being attractive and alone in that area may have caused extra attention and that may have gotten you "read."

Along with dressing like women and moving like women we need to learn to think and use instincts like women.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Cheryl S.]

No the area I was in is sort of an artsy tourist area in summer with plenty of nightlife, clubs of all types. GGs mostly wear heels at least when I've been paying attention so I don't think I was overdressed for the area. Following the local news there is an element on the outskirts moving in and many are looking for work/day jobs.

[robin48]

Jamie Austin
he moves aroung the USA
google austins angels it should come up

He is like the BEST

I am saving somE Money to go meet him

Congrats on going out

I went out today just walked the beach and sat down
see my post

I am getting some flats when I go shopping
not skilled in heels yet

[Janet Bern]

You will find it much easier to shop at a high end mall during the daytime. As much as you may feel nervous, if you dress to blend into the surroundings you wont have any problems. People are too busy taking care of thier own issues and shopping. Good luck
Janet

[suzypier]

I only could recommended not to go out alone. For me it's a NO NO to go out alone. I only came out of the closet last February and been out a few times for dinner with 3 other CDers. Believe me, nobody care when you walk with other on the sidewalk. Suzanne

[Persephone]

No the area I was in is sort of an artsy tourist area in summer with plenty of nightlife, clubs of all types. GGs mostly wear heels at least when I've been paying attention so I don't think I was overdressed for the area. Following the local news there is an element on the outskirts moving in and many are looking for work/day jobs.

Oh, O.K. My spouse and I (en femme) were talking with another woman yesterday about a new exercise club. She generally exercises in the morning while we have been working out in the afternoon. She said, "Well, it isn't in the greatest neighborhood. I plan to go in the mornings, so I should be OK, but you might want to think twice about going there in the evening."

Just keep your femme intuition dialed up, especially when traveling alone.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[carhill2mn]

Hi Cheryl. Yes, going out at first can be scary! However, you will be less scared after a few more outings. You have received some good advice already. Perhaps, the most important is to dress more like most of the women in the same area as you will be. The outfit that you described might attract more unwanted attention than you desired. Wearing 4 1/2 inch heels with jeans and a tight top will attract attention, guaranteed!

Two more things are important: act as if you belong and SMILE; not a "seductive" smile but a gentle smile like many women give one another. With men, especially younger ones, you need to be a bit discreet; ie., do not make direct eye contact except for maybe a second as men tend to read more into that act than you probably intend.

Good luck, have fun!

[t-girlxsophie]

A lesson here for those living in their Ivory Towers telling you
how no-one is bothered about you walking down the street dressed
There is People out there who hate,So everyone must be aware of their
Sorroundings etc when they venture out,thats just myworth

[NathalieX66]

Hi Cheryl, congrats!..sounds like an interesting adventure. To answer your questions:
1. Yes, and I'll PM you.
2. when I go out, I often pick my locations where I assume I won't run into trouble. It's mainly teenagers that are the toughest to deal with. But my advice is to smile. . Put yourself in the position of someone who is transitioning/or transitioned, and use that as an excuse for yourself. Who's gonna find out?
3. Find out if your state as laws protecting transgendered people, and gender expression. I know NJ does, and I am armed with that if I get stopped by a neanderthal cop.
Hugs,
N

[Fab Karen]

Whether in another language or English, just ignore comments made- you did best, remaining calm & just getting away.
Be aware of what areas are like at different times of day- and btw in a crowd of people is the safest place to be.

["Mary"]

Good for you Cheryl. Hang in there, with all these tough situations under your belt, going out will soon be a breeze for you.

Thanks for sharing.

[DeeArel]

There is a store in Clementon, NJ called Bare Elegance that was owned by a lady active with the TG community. Give her a visit and chat while shopping. She was a wealth of information when I was there a few years ago.

[MargaretJ]

Cheryl, well done for going out in the first place. In my opinion you did the right thing by not responding to them, as It sounds like there may have been trouble if you had. You use the term "side street" to refer to where you parked your car. Please excuse my ignorance of US life if this is wrong, but I get the impression "side street" means out of the way. I would find a discreet public area to park your car. If you were ever to be stopped by the police, just be polite, you are not doing anything illegal by crossdressing. However if you cause a scene and end up getting arrested, it may cause you problems, especially if you are not out. I haven't had any real problems myself so far, when being out and about, but with my short temper, I have taken the decision, that if anybody does make any offensive remarks, to just bite my lip and walk on. You can't really run or fight in 3" heels. I hope your experience doesn't put you off going out, as it is a real drag being dolled up, and staying indoors all the time.

Keep safe
Margaret

[Jenny Doolittle]

Cheryl,

Like any girl, the most important thing to realize is safety. Be careful of where you are and who is around. When out go to areas that are safe for women.

Enjoy being yourself, I know how exciting it is to go out as Cheryl, but also be safe dear.