What does your Crossdressing nourish?

[Sarah Doepner]

There is a current active thread on self-hate that got me thinking about the alternative. The human body is interesting and if we are deficient in a necessary chemical we will find a way to ingest it. There are great examples of pregnant women searching out and eating a particular type of dirt that held minerals needed for fetal development. No, I'm not asking if any of you eat dirt.

I'm wondering if in a similar fashion our crossdressing is feeding a particular psychological need that can't be nourished better any other way. What do you get from your crossdressing experience that is unique? Please don't just write that it feeds your feminine side, we still don't have a good shared definition of what feminine means. Try to identify the specific condition that evaportates when you slip into your girl world. Or maybe it's not relieving a problem but providing a benefit that is not available without crossdressing. It could be anything I guess, but I'd love to see the positive side of crossdressing explored just a little more.

[Bernadina]

Not quite sure this is quite what you are looking for but I just spent the weekend positively adding to the US economy. And I positively just love all the new dresses etc., I bought. As for me, I positively felt at peace with myself when trying them on.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Sarah:

This is possibly on of the most interesting threads, Ive read in awhile. For me, it nourishes a sense of self worth. I feel like i can be myself around others, I also find that I participate more in others lives. In all it has taken the pressure off, that i have felt most of my life of knowing that i'm different, but because of sociatal norms, not allowed to express. All in all i feel better about myself, which has been a wonderful experience.

Kelly

[skylance]

personally, i just feel better when i get the chance to dress. i feel sexier and more confident. I also find when i dress, i tend to be less stressed out about just about everything....now if i could just work up to nerve to go out en femme

[carhill2mn]

I understand why you made the suggestions re: responses that you did as it does make one have to think a little more.
Crossdressing brings me a number of positive feelings. The first is the obvious - I love wearing the clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, etc. I enjoy the "transformation process" as I like what I see in the mirror when I am finished. Many times when I have been ill or had aches/pains I feel much better once I am en femme. I enjoy being treated as a "lady" when I am out in public. I am much more patient when driving my car or being served at a restaurant or store.
I am sure that there are other reasons but I will limit my response to the ones mentioned.

[Kaz]

Sarah,

I am so glad you started this thread. It is very easy to focus on the negative when we have the opportunity to explore that with a peer group... yeah, I have my worries and concerns and all that they feed...

But since I have accepted Kaz as an integral part of me, I have grown as an individual and my relationships with other people are so much stronger. I am not "out", and it is not about "acceptance". It is about how I am as a person as a result of my embracing the CD side of my personality.

I feel so much more... complete as a person.

I have often dreamed of transitioning and living life as a girl, but for me at my age I would have to give up so much to do that, and to be honest... I value a lot of what I do as "him" very highly.. he is okay!

So.. yeah.. I am who I am, and I like me a lot! The more I get to understand who I am, the more I am at peace with the world.

It would be good if the rest of the world accepted this, but why should they? We are all who we are... and I am so glad I discovered Kaz and decided to nurture her rather than deny.

Love Kaz xx

[docrobbysherry]

It seems Sherry has become my substitute GIRLFRIEND!

The BAD part of that is:
She's very demanding of new clothes, and jealous of anyone I date!
The GOOD part is: She's EASY!

But, I KNOW that isn't what u were getting at with your post, Sarah!
So, here's something POSITIVE as a result of my dressing!

At my age, there's not much that gets me excited anymore!
Yet, ANYTHING to do with CDing seems to demand and hold my interest! After 13 years, I STILL find becoming Sherry to be exciting!

[Alice B]

For me it is a chance to totally relax and not have to be all that is expected of me. It is a chance to let the female side of me out of the bag, feel better about myself and to expand my horizons.

[Dena]

I remember being young and wanting to dress up, and feeling guilty when I did (boys don't do that). I tried to repress those feelings without success.

I've learned to relish those feelings instead of repressing them. So when I dress up I feel I'm being true to myself.

[NathalieX66]

My crossdressing nourishes the economy......nothing beats a warm sales attentant while I dressed en femme last week at Dress Barn while she coaxed me into buying more. ....the women at the registers in Macy's didn't seem to mind either when I bought about a couple of pairs of sheer nylons in a crowded store.

[Barbara Dugan]

my self esteem

[Karinsamatha]

I feel as if I am a whole person when I am dressed. I feel a huge sense of relief when I slip in to the clothes, makeup, and jewelry . I find that I tend to smile more to.

[Madilyn A.]

[SIZE="3"]To quote a cliche of sorts, "dressing completes me" ![/SIZE]

[Andrea Reynolds]

Crossdressing is my escape/relaxation treat. It relaxes me and removes me from some of my reality. It nourishes my sanity, which allows me to work retail without occasionally grabbing a customer and shaking them really, really hard. I love my. I love my job. I lo.......Andrea

[Sarah Doepner]

I've become so very tired of defining crossdressing by what it really isn't and having getting out being the watermark for success. I think it's really important that each of us discover the things about crossdressing that makes us feel good. That's were the success lies, not in passing, not in having the most clothes and probably not even in who we let in on this part of our lives. What it does for us to calm or strengthen or replenish or understand or pleasure or celebrate ourselves is the mark I'm looking for. If it isn't happening for you, why are you here?

Here are some of the things that come to mind for me, the areas opened because of crossdressing. The sensual opportunties that are either unique or much more common with women's clothing and cosmetics. The silky textures, the loose flowing skirts layered over a slip and touching a leg covered in sheer nylon hose. The feeling of constriction in a corset or cincher. Having my skin smooth and then adding powders or lotions that make it smoother than it's been since I was a child. Smells associated with cosmetics and perfumes are all so very different from what I encounter in my "normal" world. Use of color before was limited to "what tie can I wear with this shirt?" Now it extends to coordinating shoes, jewelry, handbags and scarves with an outfit. I've learned a lot but still wear the wrong tie when I am forced into that kind of guy outfit.

My sense of self changed, of course. At first it was just the temporary transformation that managed to put my male self out as I began to explore what I imagined my female identity would be. This attempt to discover what behaviors, mannerisms, attitudes, postures and poses were best able to hide the man lead me to those that best displayed the woman. I recognized it was mearly the physical representation that I was attempting to mimic, and for a long time that was sufficient. How far was I willing to take it and how far did I need to go to get the satisfaction I sought?

The inner sense of self was next to get a rush of attention. Did I already have characteristics that were associated with the female or were they just human? What values that were associated with women did I share and were there some that I should try to adopt? What was it about my male self that didn't meet my needs? Ahhh, that was a big one. It still is and I don't have answers but I'm getting a handle on the questions.

Most of the time I spend en femme is time isolated from the rest of my world. No shopping, no bills, no relatives wanting to borrow money or neighbors wanting to borrow tools or talk about politics or sports. I don't have the Television on and I don't make phone calls. Sarah's obligations are limited and time spent crossdressed is, for the most part, a chance to relax and recharge my batteries. It's an opportunity to try and learn a little more about myself and improve skills I never needed before I attempted to cobble together a respectable outfit for a woman's day out shopping or meeting friends for a nice dinner. I feel much better during that time as it seems to nourish my calm center, something that had withered away in earlier years.

[wetlook crossdresser]

It seems that for most of us cross dressing is an introverted thing we do for our own needs first rather than for someone else's but it is so compelling to me and somehow it makes me feel more outgoing and sociable to the general public than I used to be before I did it. I like to swim fully clothed and each time I do this I feel refreshed, renewed, hugged and caressed in a different way and floating in weightlessness. There is a feeling of being in tune with my soul and the warmth and joy of it all is overwhelming. Those around me can only receive the kindness of my words and I wish they could share my feelings.

[Von]

I've been asking myself this in a sense every day since my first CD experience a few weeks ago. It doesn't compute. I don't know what it nourishes, or why there isn't a simpler method of nourishing it.

Maybe my subconcious has found a way to nourish me with something that fills a need. It couldn't wait for the slow (concious) one to figure it out. Maybe the process of figuring it out is supposed to help me grow and learn - or maybe I'm never supposed to figure it out. Or maybe it's much simpler than that. But It does have a certain poetry to it (That's positive, right?).

Besides, it beats eating mud (yeah I had a taste of a mud pie on a dare when I was a kid. Grittier than it looks).

[Raine]

Crossdressing simply nourishes my self-expression.

When people see me mixing men's and women's clothing my androgyny comes with less of a shock to them, as my appearance is more congruent with who I am inside.

It also makes a great conversation topic in the sewing store.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

All of the stress, physical pain and ailments, disappear. I actually smile and look happy. All of which is the exact opposite of my male sides existence. I guess I consider a major contribution I give to my male side is to make him happy to help relieve him of a lot of the stress and issues that goes on in his life. I see a lot of this in my pictures where I do look genuinely happy, as opposed to my male ones where I look about 15 years older and like a wreck.

[lauraabdl]

As I've read its different in alot of ways and the same for alot of us in certain ways.
I for one are more content when dressed.
I do feel more all over, my senses relax and I feel everything all over my body, my mind is relaxed, I get an overall nice aurora around me that I do not have while in drab.
To be able to experiment around with styles and accessories and time periods is just a wonderful experience that I for one do not with to ever stop.
CDing is an iteragal part of me, not something I would or want to change.

[Tina B.]

complete, thats the word.I feel more at ease, more relaxed.
Tina B.

[Frédérique]

I'm wondering if in a similar fashion our crossdressing is feeding a particular psychological need that can't be nourished better any other way. What do you get from your crossdressing experience that is unique? Please don't just write that it feeds your feminine side, we still don't have a good shared definition of what feminine means. Try to identify the specific condition that evaportates when you slip into your girl world. Or maybe it's not relieving a problem but providing a benefit that is not available without crossdressing. It could be anything I guess, but I'd love to see the positive side of crossdressing explored just a little more.

[SIZE="2"]Crossdressing definitely provides benefits I cannot obtain any other way, but how do I explain it? When I’m dressed I’m just more integrated with myself – I was telling a friend the other day that it feels like one gender is hugging the other. Almost immediately I enter a state of calmness that an explanation, or a definition, would spoil – it’s a personal space I seek out, even though it is within me at all times. Somehow the clothes, and all the other elements of female appearance, help me to get in touch with this “incorporated” feeling more swiftly. Ah, bliss! My routine feels natural and loving, completely bereft of all the negative aspects of crossdressing that others seem to wallow in for one reason or another. I’ll tell you something – very few members talk about the positive side of crossdressing, which never ceases to surprise this girl. How can such a beautiful thing be an expression of self-hate? I don’t get it, but I walk in the light that my precious lifestyle/activity shines on me each and every day. I just wish more people would stop and think what an amazing, wonderful, and creative pleasure they are engaged in. For me, the negativity of life melts away, and I reappear in that positive place of my own making…[/SIZE]

Most of the time I spend en femme is time isolated from the rest of my world. No shopping, no bills, no relatives wanting to borrow money or neighbors wanting to borrow tools or talk about politics or sports. I don't have the Television on and I don't make phone calls.

[SIZE="2"]Same here. I can’t watch television en femme because I find myself turning away from nearly everything that comes on – it (TV) has nothing to do with the special world I inhabit while dressed, so I just “turn off” while turning on my gender-integrated self. I usually listen to music while I’m in my personal femme “space,” and I often work on my artwork or some other creative venture – in this way, my femme clothes become a kind of uniform for cultural undertakings. I’m isolated from the world by choice in any event, but that just makes crossdressing easier to achieve, within the parameters I already marked out some years ago. Come to think of it, I believe crossdressing grew out of my shy nature and blossomed in the private world I have come to cherish… [/SIZE]

[suchacutie]

Tina is part of the whole me, but I never identified that part! I knew I was a bit different, but not so different that I wasn't masculine when that was called for, but there were definitely parts of me that didn't correspond to that norm. Somehow my wife slowly began to understand that, and finally the two of us put two and two together. The result was Tina, our investigation of my feminine side.

Well, we thought this exploration would last a few months. It's been almost 5 years. Tina allows me to understand that part of me that was not understood for 55 years. She doesn't relieve my stress and she's not someone I run to in order to disappear from the world. She has qualities that I admire in me and it's exciting to explore them in an environment where the masculine parts of me are put aside for a while. As that investigation proceeded I realized that she enjoys being feminine and that those parts of me that wanted to do classically feminine activities revels in Tina time.

Both sides of me love a challenge. Changing gender, as you all know, is a massive challenge! Oddly enough, the physical challenge of changing gender is becoming the easy part (and I do enjoy the feelings and look of being feminine!). The much harder part has been to "let go" and let Tina be Tina. This came to a head when Tina started to find her voice. Suddenly she was self-concious for the first time because here now was clearly a new person inside, and I was almost afraid of who she was, or how my wife would perceive her. All of it is silly as my wife completely accepts (and even enjoys) Tina. It as all in my head, and it still is a massive challenge that I love!

Lastly, Tina has provided an access to my wife's feminine self. I feel so much closer to her as she helps Tina to understand femininity, and what it's like to grow up as a woman. Five years into this experience I would go so far as to suggest this to all men!

Thanks for this thread!

tina

[Michaela42]

My crossdressing nourishes the economy !

But seriously, it is kind of hard to explain; I just feel better when I dress. About myself, about the world around me, about life in general. I guess to me it is a form of meditation. While I was in school if I was having trouble thinking through a problem I would often dress and I would find it easier to concentrate, be creative, etc . . .

[Naomi Rayne]

Through crossdressing i have gained a better feeling of self worth. Cared more about myself and the way i act and think opposed to when you are a kid and you still think there is something wrong with you for having thoughts about CDing. Now i am comfortable with it, comfortable with that part of myself. That has allowed me to be more comfortable in what i say and how i act towards other people. I am also not ashamed to join in a discussion with other women when they talk about woman things such a makeup and such. I dont put my own personal opinion it because i dont want to be outed. But i can related and understand and put in a sly two cents every once and a while without feeling like i shouldnt be talking. It has greatly affected in so many good ways my entire aspect of life.