Gold Star for Me/Gold star Part 2

[Cheryl James]

Having been inspired by all of the wonderful experiences described by so many girls on this site, I was determined to experience a "first" for myself. I've never been in a mall or store fully presenting as a female, i.e., wig, make-up, etc. The opportunity was there for me tonight, so I made my mind up to go for it.

My goal was a bookstore at a large mall near my home. The bookstore was chosen because it has an outside entrance. There are some hurdles, however, that have to be dealt with in order to get to that outside entrance. First, there is a large and busy outside shopping area that must be traversed ans a couple of busy restaurants that, also, must be passed. Then, there is, also, a main entrance to the mall about fifty feet from the bookstore entrance. Add to that the fact that I didn't get there until about 9:15 when the store and the mall were preparing to close. This meant that I had to walk against foot traffic as shoppers were leaving the mall to go to their cars.

I was determined, however. And, I felt pretty good about my look. I had on a khaki skirt, a pink and white striped girl short-sleeved shirt (I'm not sure of the exact name of that type of sleeve), and a cute pair of 2" heels. I am no make-up expert, but it came together tonight and there is only subdued lighting approaching the entrance. I was nervous, but I was, also, determined to not chicken out.

I found a parking spot close to the outside stores, checked my make-up, brushed my wig, and got out of the car. Several groups of departing shoppers came very near me as they went to their cars. This caused me to pause and I nearly lost my nerve, but I said to heck with it. Just do it, as Nike says.

So, I began my walk to the bookstore. I walked as femininely as I could with my head up. I tried to not make eye contact with anyone and I tried to not look back after passing people to see if they were checking me out or falling down laughing. I had to, on a couple of occasions, walk nearly shoulder to shoulder with some people and I nearly ran into a guy and girl as they were entering a restaurant just as I walked by the entrance. No one acted as if anything was unusual.

I made it to the bookstore. I did not see any shoppers inside but the door was unlocked, so I went in. I browsed for 4 or 5 minutes and even took a brief video of me browsing the shelves. Emboldened now, I thought I might leave the store by the inside mall entrance, but they had already pulled down their fence-like doors, so I exited by the door that I had entered and retraced (I window-shopped a little) my steps back to my car.

I've probably written too much and as Alan Jackson has said, "It ain't no big thing, but it's a gold star for me". I'm already planning my next outing. If it's good, I'll try and write about it. If I knew how to post the video, I'd do that, but I'm rather clueless about computer stuff. If I figure it out, though, I will get it up. Thanks for reading.

[Kathi Lake]

Cheryl,

No, you most certainly did not write too much about it. You did wonderfully! In fact, give yourself two gold stars.



Kathi

[Mea GG]

Cheryl,

Yes, gold star for you! You did good. Wait!!! 3 Gold stars!!


Mea

p.s. Kathi, are we psychic twins or what?

[Freddy12]

A big congratulations!!!
The first time is always the hardest. WAY TO GO girl!

You certainly did not write too much. Thanks for sharing.

[donnatracey]

You deserve the gold star!.....I wish I was that brave....

[Leslie Langford]

...So, I began my walk to the bookstore. I walked as femininely as I could with my head up. I tried to not make eye contact with anyone and I tried to not look back after passing people to see if they were checking me out or falling down laughing. I had to, on a couple of occasions, walk nearly shoulder to shoulder with some people and I nearly ran into a guy and girl as they were entering a restaurant just as I walked by the entrance. No one acted as if anything was unusual...

Congratulations, Cheryl - you've taken a HUGE step forward in your evolution as a crossdresser, and all of us who are out and about in public with you can relate to the mixed feelings of both sheer terror and euphoria/exhilaration that you must have felt as you took those fateful first steps. Not unlike losing one's virginity, actually, and once that threshold is crossed, there is no turning back, and you will never be content again to just dress in private.

One observation, though. You mentioned that you tried to avoid making eye contact with others to remain as unobtrusive as possible. Classic newbie mistake, and also very WRONG. Yes, we all have a tendency to do that at first and it is a normal, knee-jerk reaction. It is also completely counter-intuitive. And it took a GG (my nail tech, actually) who pointed this out to me once, telling me that I looked just fine en femme, and that not making eye contact sent out a message that I had something to be ashamed of, which in her opinion, I definitely did not.

The fact is, it is normal and accepted practice for GG's not only to make such eye contact when their paths cross in public, but also to smile at each other freely. It is subliminal body language on their part, and signals an unspoken message of solidarity and sisterhood to each other i.e. their defenses are down, and they are open to interacting with each other if the situation warrants it. Not doing so sends the exact opposite message, and leaves the impression that the other party is either unsure of themselves, is self-conscious, or else has something to hide i.e. they need to be scrutinized even more closely to try to determine what their story is.

These signals are picked up by GG's and analyzed within the space of microseconds, and can make all the difference in the world between being "read" and accepted, and being "read" and looked upon with suspicion and/or an element of derision.

Now as for the average genetic male, unless you are wearing a fright wig, clown make-up, and a micro-mini skirt with fishnets and 6" stilettos, they are usually so clueless about recognizing your true gender that they will just walk past you without even giving you a second look - eye contact notwithstanding.

Just my $0.02 worth...

[Tasha McIntyre]

Awesome Cheryl,

Another one of us has found her wings
You brought back memories of my first steps out and about at a big shopping mall, mixing it up with the other shoppers

As Leslie has said, now you've experienced the thrill, you'll never be content just dressing at home.

Good luck

Tash

[Persephone]

Congratulations Cheryl! You go, girl!

These signals are picked up by GG's and analyzed within the space of microseconds, and can make all the difference in the world between being "read" and accepted, and being "read" and looked upon with suspicion and/or an element of derision.

I agree with Leslie. I remember the attention I attracted from GG's when I first kept my gaze down and my smile turned off.

It takes your next step in courage to keep your eyes up and to give other women a woman-to-woman smile when you make eye contact with them. Remember, you're O.K. and a member of girl world -- be proud!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Rianna Humble]

Having been inspired by all of the wonderful experiences described by so many girls on this site, I was determined to experience a "first" for myself. I've never been in a mall or store fully presenting as a female, i.e., wig, make-up, etc. The opportunity was there for me tonight, so I made my mind up to go for it.

My goal was a bookstore at a large mall near my home.

Well done girl! It took guts to go out for the first time!

I've probably written too much and as Alan Jackson has said, "It ain't no big thing, but it's a gold star for me".

I'm sorry, Cheryl, I can't agree with you here

1 You did not write too much

2 It was a very big thing that you did!

You overcame your fear, you interacted with other people, and you braved their reactions. That is a big thing to do, please don't belittle yourself.

I'm already planning my next outing. If it's good, I'll try and write about it.

This is the only thing about what you just did - once you've done it, it becomes addictive. Each time you go out, your confidence will grow.

I still remember my first time out dressed, like you I went fairly late but I got home unscathed and haven't looked back since.

I'm proud of you for doing what you did and look forward to reading about your next outing and maybe seeing some pictures.

[AKAMichelle]

Yes - your right you deserve the gold star. Congratulations on a successful adventure.

[Cheryl James]

Cheryl,

No, you most certainly did not write too much about it. You did wonderfully! In fact, give yourself two gold stars.



Kathi

Kathi,

It means so much to me for you to have taken the time to respond to my post. You are one of the girls whose stories have pushed me forward. Thank you.

Cheryl,

Yes, gold star for you! You did good. Wait!!! 3 Gold stars!!


Mea

p.s. Kathi, are we psychic twins or what?

Mea GG,

Wow! A reply from a GG and three gold stars! I've always believed that GG's would look down on me and that has held me back. Thank you.

[StaceyJane]

Great Story
Once you take that first step the whole world opens up to you.

[sherri52]

it's a small step for man but a giant leap for Cheryl. You can pick up your gold stat on your next venture to the mall

[Mea GG]

Mea GG,

Wow! A reply from a GG and three gold stars! I've always believed that GG's would look down on me and that has held me back. Thank you.

I would never look down on anyone over gender or orientation issues.
I really enjoyed your story and glad it worked out so well.

Leslie made an excellent point about eye contact. I didn't actually realize that was a girl thing...I look and smile at everybody. So you will do that next time, right? You have nothing to be ashamed of. And even if some woman does notice your maleness and you smile at the same time, the friendliness will trump any other reaction, I think.

[Kathi Lake]

You are one of the girls whose stories have pushed me forward. Thank you.

Cheryl, I'm so glad that I'm not the only one having fun on my shopping trips - even if some have it vicariously.

Mea is correct (Yeah, I know. Duh! . Eye contact is important. Smiling is important. I find that I tend to "disarm" people with niceness. Basically, I don't even give them time to process that I am different. I charge into the store, start interacting with them as if everything were normal (which it is, by the way), and before they know it, they are relating to me as a person, and not a perversion. Give it a whirl!

Can't wait to hear of your next adventure!

Kathi

[charlie]

Yea Cheryl!
Next time your heart will beat and you can breath too! Nothing like a positive experience to get you out again! Its no use going to all the trouble of makeup, dressing, wigs and nails, only to take it off again. Hold your head high and act like you belong there.

[Cheryl James]

A big congratulations!!!
The first time is always the hardest. WAY TO GO girl!

You certainly did not write too much. Thanks for sharing.

Freddy,

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Sharing my experience and receiving warm comments from you girls has made it even better.

You deserve the gold star!.....I wish I was that brave....

.

Donnatracey,

That is exactly where I was. Go for it.

Congratulations, Cheryl - you've taken a HUGE step forward in your evolution as a crossdresser, and all of us who are out and about in public with you can relate to the mixed feelings of both sheer terror and euphoria/exhilaration that you must have felt as you took those fateful first steps. Not unlike losing one's virginity, actually, and once that threshold is crossed, there is no turning back, and you will never be content again to just dress in private.

One observation, though. You mentioned that you tried to avoid making eye contact with others to remain as unobtrusive as possible. Classic newbie mistake, and also very WRONG. Yes, we all have a tendency to do that at first and it is a normal, knee-jerk reaction. It is also completely counter-intuitive. And it took a GG (my nail tech, actually) who pointed this out to me once, telling me that I looked just fine en femme, and that not making eye contact sent out a message that I had something to be ashamed of, which in her opinion, I definitely did not.

The fact is, it is normal and accepted practice for GG's not only to make such eye contact when their paths cross in public, but also to smile at each other freely. It is subliminal body language on their part, and signals an unspoken message of solidarity and sisterhood to each other i.e. their defenses are down, and they are open to interacting with each other if the situation warrants it. Not doing so sends the exact opposite message, and leaves the impression that the other party is either unsure of themselves, is self-conscious, or else has something to hide i.e. they need to be scrutinized even more closely to try to determine what their story is.

These signals are picked up by GG's and analyzed within the space of microseconds, and can make all the difference in the world between being "read" and accepted, and being "read" and looked upon with suspicion and/or an element of derision.

Now as for the average genetic male, unless you are wearing a fright wig, clown make-up, and a micro-mini skirt with fishnets and 6" stilettos, they are usually so clueless about recognizing your true gender that they will just walk past you without even giving you a second look - eye contact notwithstanding.

Just my $0.02 worth...

Leslie,

Thank you for the constructive criticism. I see the point that you are making and I will try. It sounds tough, though. I truly appreciate the time and thought that went into your reply.

Awesome Cheryl,

Another one of us has found her wings
You brought back memories of my first steps out and about at a big shopping mall, mixing it up with the other shoppers

As Leslie has said, now you've experienced the thrill, you'll never be content just dressing at home.

Good luck

Tash

Tasha,

You are right. I don't think it will be my last time.

Congratulations Cheryl! You go, girl!



I agree with Leslie. I remember the attention I attracted from GG's when I first kept my gaze down and my smile turned off.

It takes your next step in courage to keep your eyes up and to give other women a woman-to-woman smile when you make eye contact with them. Remember, you're O.K. and a member of girl world -- be proud!

Hugs,
Persephone.

Persephone,

Thank you for affirming that I am OK. I've spent my whole life thinking that this makes me not OK.

Well done girl! It took guts to go out for the first time!

Rianna,

I'm sorry, Cheryl, I can't agree with you here

1 You did not write too much

2 It was a very big thing that you did!

You overcame your fear, you interacted with other people, and you braved their reactions. That is a big thing to do, please don't belittle yourself.



This is the only thing about what you just did - once you've done it, it becomes addictive. Each time you go out, your confidence will grow.

I still remember my first time out dressed, like you I went fairly late but I got home unscathed and haven't looked back since.

I'm proud of you for doing what you did and look forward to reading about your next outing and maybe seeing some pictures.

Rianna,

I'm trying to figure out how to get pictures and videos onto the site without them remaining on my computer. My love of the feminine in me is counterbalanced by the loathing that my wife has for the feminine in me.

Yes - your right you deserve the gold star. Congratulations on a successful adventure.

Thank you for the reply and good luck on your New Mexico adventure.

Great Story
Once you take that first step the whole world opens up to you.

Thank you Stacey.

it's a small step for man but a giant leap for Cheryl. You can pick up your gold stat on your next venture to the mall

Could it be a gold bra, instead?

Yea Cheryl!
Next time your heart will beat and you can breath too! Nothing like a positive experience to get you out again! Its no use going to all the trouble of makeup, dressing, wigs and nails, only to take it off again. Hold your head high and act like you belong there.

Charlie,

It is a lot of work and you are right there needs to be a reward at the end. I'll try to take your advice.

[Fab Karen]

There's nothing like the fresh air of freedom.

In the big city, if you looked at & smiled at everyone, you'd get nowhere & get nothing done.

[Cheryl James]

If you read my post last night you know that I ventured into a store for the first time in my life yesterday. I received so many thoughtful words of praise and encouragement that I had to build on the experience tonight. Oh, I loved doing it, too, which could have inspired me as well.

So, a different outfit tonight (what if I ran into someone who had seen me last night?). I don't have a lot of clothes. As a mathematician I could calculate the permutations available to me,, but I won't. Tonight I went with a pair of black Skinny Jeans, a lightweight long sleeve gray top with rows of white hearts across the front. I wore one inch heeled dressy thong type sandals. I accessorized with a black beret, a necklace with half-a-dozen pearls (or fake pearls, likely), a white pearl bracelet on one one wrist and a black scrunchy on the other. The skinny jeans require a great tuck, and I was. In fact, I have been tucked for the last five days. My sperm count is of no concern to me. I'm not a real big person (5'8", 140-145), so I have chosen an A cup as my own personal size. However, beneath my padded bra I wear breast enhancers that adhere to the body and, when drawn together and clasped create a realistic cleavage. My top hid that, but that's OK. The end result is, probably, an A+ or, maybe, a B-. My make-up, again I am no expert, turned out OK and I wore feminine readers to give me a bookish look. From a distance with subdued lighting and I am OK, I hope. Up close, probably not.

Once again I went to the same mall as last night. Are we still in a recession. The place was packed and people were leaving with lots of stuff. Anyway, I got there earlier tonight, maybe 8:30. It's tough getting out of my house in the daylight, so I couldn't leave until 8:15, or so. But that gave me an hour-and-a-half to get ready and to primp and take a short video of me in my outfit for the evening.

My first stop was a department store that has an outside entrance. I arrived, parked my car and, with no delay, gathered my purse, brushed my hair, checked my lipstick, got out of the car and walked 40 yards to the entrance. I checked it out with my intention being to turn around if I saw anyone near the entrance. As it turned out there was a line at the nearby cash register. It was two young women and a young woman cashier. I said to myself, go in now! In fact, I surprised myself at the boldness that I displayed. I opened the door, looked around to find the lingerie department (my weakness) and walked right over with my head up. I was a shopper and I was in heaven. I was my real self in the bra and panties department. I browsed, found my size (34A) and took several different bra's off the rack and inspected them just as I have seen women doing. I walked down the aisles touching the fabrics like a woman shopper would do. There were people in the store, not many, though. A young woman did come into the lingerie department but stayed a few aisles away from me. The cashier began to walk over toward me but reversed her direction when a pretty young woman approached the register. I timed my exit from the store to just precede the exit of the young woman. She glanced my way and I glanced her way and we, then, both went about our own business.

Next, I ventured to a very busy part of the mall. I parked in a parking garage and prepped my self as before, got out of the car and, without hesitation, walked about 35 yards to a Neiman Marcus. I entered and passed within 10 or 15 feet of a couple as I walked to the middle of the store and the women's department. I browsed for 5 - 7 minutes. There were people about but never directly in my space. An announcement came over the loudspeaker that the store was now closed and that shoppers should exit by the main entrance. That might have been a problem. Not only would I have had to walk right by the line at the cash registers, but I would be exiting onto an outdoor mall that tends to be extremely busy. I gave the backdoor (the door that I had entered) a try and found it to be unlocked, so I exited there and walked to my car. I came near a teenage boy and girl. The girl and I looked at each other (the distance might have been 10 yards) matter of factly, with no outward evidence that she read me.

This is getting way to long and I apologize. I stopped at a couple more places at the mall and, at one stop, entered the mall itself and walked about 50 yards (window shopping on the way) and exited at a busy Target. There were a lot of teenage girls about. I kept my distance from them by making several fake cell phone calls.

Last night was a first for me to just go into a store. Tonight, I did two stores and a small section of the mall itself, not to mention the lingerie department in one. Somebody needs to pinch me. I have nine more days before my wife returns home and Cheryl has to return to a box. I love this so much and don't want it to ever end. Thanks to all who have read this far. It is the stories that I have read on this site that has inspired me to get out in the open. I owe everyone on here a debt of gratitude.

[Chickhe]

Cool. It is an awsome feeling to overcome the fear that keeps us locked away. What is your next goal?

[Kathi Lake]

Wow, a two-fer!

Cheryl, I'm glad that you have gathered what seems to be quite a bit of confidence. That's good, because you're going to need it. Why? When your wife gets back, it's time for a chat. She needs to know what you've been doing so that Cheryl doesn't need to go back into the box. You need to talk about boundaries that you're both comfortable with, why you do this, what it means to you both, etc.

If you think going out dressed as a woman is hard, wait until you have to tell your wife that you enjoy going out dressed as a woman. Still, as many women here will tell you, it is one of the most important things you can do for the long-term health of your marriage and yourself.

Glad you had a great time!

Kathi

[donnatracey]

Way to go, Cheryl! You are on a roll now.....sounds like you're having a great time....

[Mea GG]

Wow! You really did a lot...that was very nice to read.

I don't think it is too long at all. For people who can type well, tell a story in an easily read style, and give lots of detail, that is all good for probably most of us and anyone else can skim through it. I think the longer the better. It really tells the story, and for someone thinking of doing the same thing, it answers their questions they might have of a shorter story.

More gold stars for you! Next time you should go ahead and buy something. Have cash ready so you don't need to show your guy name, for now.

And I hope you can share with your wife. Yes, its risky, but look around here....it is riskier in the long run to keep it from her.

Good luck...where to next? Oh, and who cares if you wore the same outfit...strangers won't remember.


Mea

[Kirra_Moon]

Now tell me the secret of siphoning off your excess bravery. Just the story alone makes me cringe slightly. Congratulations on your voyage.

[AKAMichelle]

Moving on Up! You are definitely beginning to get the hang of this. All you have to do now is get out of the house before the ghouls come out at night. A good daytime adventure over the weekend while the family is away. I expect to here a part 3 about the daytime adventure.