Disrespect to the public?

[Cheryl James]

In the past week I have tried to push my personal envelope by shopping (browsing, really) department stores, book stores, and window-shopping in a mall. No purchases, yet, as I am still too nervous about that. By doing these things I am, selfishly, trying to meet my need, i.e, the need to be out in public presenting in my preferred gender. What troubles me, though, is the concern that by putting myself out in the unsuspecting general public, am I violating their ability (or right) to choose whether they have to see or deal with a CD? Or, whether they have to explain to their kid what just happened? I guess I am hoping that most of you will tell me to worry about something else, but I am looking for honesty.

[suzypier]

We are in 2010 but I believe that general people still acting like 1910 !

[JulieK1980]

I honestly don't believe you are violating their "rights" at all, any more than it violates people's rights to see a homeless person on the street.

For it to be a violation of rights, implies there is a victim. There is no victim in this instance. As for explaining to their children, well all I can say to that is, they should be educating their kids to be tolerant of others anyway. And I assure you the vast majority of kids see much more questionable content on t.v. anyway.

For this to really be an issue, would require an assumption that wearing clothing designed for the opposite gender is wrong, and I don't believe it is. Otherwise, all women that wear pants are violating peoples rights to not see them. I'm fairly certain that most women would agree that wearing pants does not infringe upon others rights.

[Tamara Croft]

I really think you are overthinking this. You shouldn't be worrying about what other people think or how children will react, seriously, it isn't your problem. Just go out, have fun.. and Jody is right, parents should be educating their children how to be tollerant, if they aren't, well then it's still their problem

[kellycan27]

I wasn't around in 1910, but I don't think you have anything to worry about.
It takes all kinds make this wondeful world go round. You have the perfect right to a part of it. Good luck and good shopping.

Kel

[suzypier]

I really think you are overthinking this. You shouldn't be worrying about what other people think or how children will react, seriously, it isn't your problem. Just go out, have fun.. and Jody is right, parents should be educating their children how to be tollerant, if they aren't, well then it's still their problem

I agree with you at 100%

[tinalynn]

The only "rights" anyone has are laid out in the Constitution, and I don't recall one of them being 'free from seeing a CD'er'. That term ('right') is thrown around too freely... And you're not violating anyones trust or personal space, either - you're in public places! And who cares if someone's kid sees you? God forbid a parent have to teach the kid something...

Relax and enjoy yourself. The only time you need to worry about crap like that is if you get into some situation with ignorant trash all around...

[t-girlxsophie]

this is the 21st century i would think ppl have more to worry than seeing a Crossdresser in the street.we have probably already been described enough in our lifes as being selfish without telling ourselves we are through the mere fact that we exercise our right to walk the streets and live our lives

[pj]

No one has the "right" to be completely unoffended or untroubled in public. I see plenty that offends me every day. But that's my problem. And if someone doesn't like what they see when they walk past you, that's their problem.

As for their kids, that's their problem too. I don't believe in trying to create a society that is suitable for every 3 year old. If you don't want your kids to see anything that you don't approve of, keep them at home.

[Shelly Preston]

I dont think its disrespectful to the public

Most people will ignore you. Those you have to deal with in shops etc, will have had some sort of diversity training.

I have recently hear a neighbour of a friend of mine was asking questions. I am quite sure she will say hello if we happen to meet. This will give me a chance to educate another person

The only time you can expect trouble is if you dress in something that is not right for that occasion

[Sammy777]

What troubles me, though, is the concern that by putting myself out in the unsuspecting general public, am I violating their ability (or right) to choose whether they have to see or deal with a CD?
Or, whether they have to explain to their kid what just happened?

This is just my personal opinion coming from not only a TS but just a person in general.

[edited, sorry ] Short answer: Frack'em

Long answer:
Being "different" isn't a crime.
Be you a CD, TS, biker, goth, emo, headbanger, skater, rapper, gangsta, gay, lesbian, physically deformed, handicapped, a leper and so on and so on. lol.

Ohhhh my virgin shielded eyes can't take it! -Grow up!
What will I tell the children? Ahhhh Try the truth!

OK - Me walking through a mall blasting death-metal-gangasta-rap is "imposing" on the people around me.

OK - Me walking through the same mall dressed just like 90+% of the other woman there minding my business, shopping, whatever is not "imposing" on anybodies "personal space"!

Now of course walking around wearing a ball gown and or a "I heart Hilter" t-shirt or just your underwear and a cowboy hat carrying a guitar will get you attention, but [here in the US] you have the right to be different or a complete assh*le as long as your not actually breaking any laws.

Will doing any of the above "offend" some, of course it will.
But hey, I can't stand the "tan pants blue shirt" look, but Im not running home crying every time I see it.

For me, personally, being a TS, I really do not have a choice.
It is not that I can't drab it up if I need to.
It is that I no longer really can or want to. That part of me is gone.
Part of, and probably the hardest part, of being a girl is knowing good or bad, day or night, there is no more room for "days off" if I'm just not "feeling it".

So if I'm not looking/feeling my best one day and someone feels "offended" by me........
Well see the "short answer" above because I have just as much right to live my life as that person does.

[Faith_G]

There is a heart-breaking amount of self-loathing going on in your post. It's OK for you to be the woman you need to be. Love her, she is you. Don't be ashamed, go about your business as the woman you are and everyone will be OK.

[Sally24]

I have to agree with Sammy..... As long as you're not wearing fetish wear (laytex, maids outfit, hooker clothes) there is no reason you should worry. You're not going to their kids school or jumping around on their front lawn. You have every right to be there and go about your business. Enjoy yourself!

[kristinacd55]

I have one thing to say Cheryl, the heck with the public. You go girl!!
It's all about how YOU feel going out in public....

[Nicole Erin]

...or jumping around on their front lawn. You have every right to be there and go about your business. Enjoy yourself!

HA HA HA!

Yeah that would create a scene no matter how you are dressed.
But if you dress like your profile photo, that is presentable.

And yes, there will be the haters or people who laugh, I deal with it on a semi-regular basis, and I don't dress "fetish" style. Of course I don't have the figure to dress like "Charlotte the harlet" either.

If it makes you feel more comfy, then for your first few outings, maybe wear slacks with a blouse and made up instead of trying a skirt.

[Kayla Shadows]

Honestly,if we have to put up with them,they can put up with us.I'm sure there are some that are offended by their intolerance and way of being so easily offended.As long as you are appropriately dressed for the situation there should be no issue.There are those who want to play the victim in dealing with us but let them.I can be offended by the way they treat me,but i can also chose to laugh and let them continue to be the victim and not me.To me it seems like a weakness and thats just not me.

[bianca66]

I doubt any children young enough will even notice anything other than a woman...

I did have some teen boys figure I was a guy and told their girlfriends. The girls followed me around a bit and stayed near the front of the stores that I went into and pretended to look at items. I walked by them to go to the next store, winked and smile...They giggled and then took off once they knew I was onto them...I don't think that I tramatized them or they will need a talk with their parents.

[Shelby]

There are people out there doing all sorts of things that offend me and not one of them is a crossdresser. I have seen a perfectly physically healthy person with handicapped plate park in the that spot and I question why they need to. I had to sell cigarettes to a woman using her EBT Card at 2am bragging to her date that living in MN is great because we give her more money then other states and thinking she wants another kid to make more money off of us taxpayers. I have seen obese people who can hardly breathe complain about not large enough seats at an Auditorium. I have had to tell adults that they can't smoke or drink on school property because it is against the law only to be told that they pay taxes and it is their right to. People have sued McDonald's because there was no warning on the coffee cups telling them it is hot and not to drive with it resting between their legs (She won, by the way).

If you can walk out of the house with confidence and few people even notice who you really are, then you are by far the least of anyone's concerns.

[Stephenie S]

Faith wrote:

There is a heart-breaking amount of self-loathing going on in your post. It's OK for you to be the woman you need to be. Love her, she is you. Don't be ashamed, go about your business as the woman you are and everyone will be OK.

Listen to this Cheryl. It is good advice.

[Kelly DeWinter]

What troubles me, though, is the concern that by putting myself out in the unsuspecting general public, am I violating their ability (or right) to choose whether they have to see or deal with a CD?

Chery, no more then what you have to put up with by what they wear. Transgendered people are here. We allways have been.

The only difference between yesterday, today and tomorrow is what we wear.

Kelly

[Deborah Jane]

We put up with them, so it's only right we return the favour

[sissystephanie]

I have one thing to say Cheryl, the heck with the public. You go girl!!
It's all about how YOU feel going out in public....

Kristina said it perfectly! The only "rights" that matter are yours, Cheryl! If you feel like going out in public dressed, then do so. As long as you are obeying the laws in your locale, you have the right to do as YOU wish. Not what other people might want you to do. Since my wife, who always did my makeup and fixed my wig, passed away I go out dressed but looking exactly like the man I am! Maybe some people don't like the way I look, but that is their problem, not mine! I don't care, and neither should you.

[Rianna Humble]

What troubles me, though, is the concern that by putting myself out in the unsuspecting general public, am I violating their ability (or right) to choose whether they have to see or deal with a CD?

There is a heart-breaking amount of self-loathing going on in your post. It's OK for you to be the woman you need to be. Love her, she is you. Don't be ashamed, go about your business as the woman you are and everyone will be OK.

You really need to accept yourself for who you are - a valuable human being.

Since you talk of rights, let's consider the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, if you are not free to go out, then someone is violating your rights under articles 1, 3, 6, 13 (i), 20 (i) and 29 (ii).

All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.

Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.

Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law.

Everyone has the right to freedom of movement and residence within the borders of each state.

Everyone has the right to freedom of peaceful assembly and association

In the exercise of his rights and freedoms, everyone shall be subject only to such limitations as are determined by law solely for the purpose of securing due recognition and respect for the rights and freedoms of others and of meeting the just requirements of morality, public order and the general welfare in a democratic society.
-----

What you are doing in going out does not contravene ANY of these fundamental human rights.

[Cassandra Lynn]

Dreaming of a day when the "educated" children are grown and the world is a more tolerant place, and if it takes us being out there helping it to happen, then let it be!
Get out there with your head held high Cheryl, smile look them in the eyes and say "Hello, have a nice day". Looking forward to the day when i can. mj (Cassie)

[AKAMichelle]

There is a very simple way to think about it.

That person who is extremely obese. Does that person infringe on your rights when you have to look at them? They are just being who they are and how is that so bad.

What about the person is so skinny they look like a tooth pick. Does that person infringe on your rights when you have to look at them? They are just being who they are and how is that so bad.

What about that person who is missing a leg?

See we all are different and have things which we can't necessarily help. That is the way we are and our appearance whether we end up looking like a model or the ugly duckling isn't infringing on anybody's rights. You are who are and you should be proud that you were given this responsibility. Yes that's right a responsibility. You have the unqiue opportunity to show the general public that you are a sweet, kind person. A person who they could be friends with if they would look past their hangups if they have any.

Go buy something in the mall. If it is just a drink. Then maybe some dinner in the fast food court. You have the right to be there. Quit being intimidated by them. Have fun or you will wake up with a pound of regrets when this little vacation ends.

P.S. I bought panties in a Sears store when I was 18 years old in drab. If I can do that, then maybe you can buy something while dressed.