Bi-curious, or just sexual gratification?

[rochelle33]

I love dressing up but i'm in the closet. Dressing up makes me feel good and relaxed, but it also turns me on sexually, and I would love to go out dressed, but I don't think I can pull it off. I'm a straight man and I love women, but sometimes I get curious and think of what it would be like, to be with a man fully dressed up. So I have two questions, do I do dress up just for sexual gratification and am I gay? I love women, and they turn me on like crazy, but I am curious about men, but I can't fathom being in a relationship with a man or even kissing a man turns me off. What does turn me on are his genitals, anyway am I crazy?

[lottarosie70]

Rochelle, I really don't think you are crazy. The problem may stem from feeling the need to categorize. However, I have been where you are...wanting to play with a man (or at least that one part) but not being attracted to men.

I finally just decided to like what I like, and not worry about what it makes me. I still haven't really explored those desires in real life, but I accept that I have them, and enjoy the fantasies.

[tricia_uktv]

Hi Rochelle. I felt like you initially but now I can get turned by either sex. I believe we are all born bi-sexual, its conditioning that mahes us one way or another. So don't worry, enjoy yourself and get out there.

[SandraAbsent]

I finally just decided to like what I like, and not worry about what it makes me.

Absolutely!

Are you gay? Imagine this:
North Pole, South Pole and a WHOLE lot of planet in the middle.
Male, Female, and a WHOLE lot of gray in the middle.
Gay, Straight, and a WHOLE lot of gray in the middle.

I had my first experience while dressed, I didn't really care for it and will probably never do it again. This does not change the fact that my brain still entertains the idea occasionally? Just let yourself be you.

[Karen564]

[SIZE=2]I think it's very normal to feel that way & many probably feel the same way you do...Based on what I've seen here...[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]So go with it, and who knows, you may like it more than you ever thought possible...[/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]Enjoy ! [/SIZE]

[Joanne f]

As we know there are many reasons for wanting to CD and i have always thought that it depends on your particular reason for wanting to CD on whether there is a likelihood of you having Bi thoughts and i think it is far more common than most will admit ,so i would not worry about it if that's what makes you happy .

[lee in a skirt]

Hi. I kind of female the same way although I do class myself as bi because i am sometimes attracted to men. I would never act on this though because I dont want to spoil what I already have with my acceptiing SO. One thing you need to think about is if you only want to have an experience when dressed then it could be a bad idea because you will end up taking your clothes off and then the desire may go away.

[boardpuppy]

Don't worry about your classification (straight, bi or gay)enjoy yourself. If you are honus with whom ever, you will enjoy yourself and return for more.
The more you explore, the more you will learn about yourself. None of the girls here woke the next morning and desided to be a CEer or gay or anything in between.

Hugs,
Alice

[Shari]

Certainly nothing to lose any sleep over Rochelle.

You have a great deal of company here.

[Anneliese]

I am turned on by women and by men dressed as women (passing in most cases, but not all), although I've only been with the former at this point. Men as men? Nothing.

[kimdl93]

I think its clear that you're expressing curiosity - that's a pretty common attribute for humans. Doesn't necessarily mean anything than that. If you decided to act upon your curiosity, that would be another matter.

[JulieC]

I love dressing up but i'm in the closet. Dressing up makes me feel good and relaxed, but it also turns me on sexually, and I would love to go out dressed, but I don't think I can pull it off. I'm a straight man and I love women, but sometimes I get curious and think of what it would be like, to be with a man fully dressed up. So I have two questions, do I do dress up just for sexual gratification and am I gay? I love women, and they turn me on like crazy, but I am curious about men, but I can't fathom being in a relationship with a man or even kissing a man turns me off. What does turn me on are his genitals, anyway am I crazy?

Yep, certifiable. Just like the rest of us humans

There's nothing wrong or right about being interested in being with a man. Many CDers here have noted they have such thoughts occasionally, usually when dressed. This is just who you are. I wouldn't worry about trying to answer the question of "Am I gay?" Labels come with connotations that can confuse things.

Being sexually aroused when crossdressed is not at all unusual. Many CDers have a similar reaction, especially when you're younger. Whether or not the _only_ reason you like to crossdress being for sexual gratification is a question only you can answer. Like the question of being gay or not, I wouldn't worry too much about the answer to that question. Crossdressing isn't illegal, and you're not doing anything wrong. In this case (this rule doesn't always apply) if it feels good, then do it. Enjoy it. I will say this; most CDers over time have less of a sexual component to crossdressing, but are still strongly driven to crossdress. There's a good chance you are the same.

SandraAbsent noted the grey areas in our self definitions. The idea of a two box system of male/female, gay/not-gay is false on the face of it. There's a presumption in our society that the two box system must exist. It doesn't have to exist and in fact is a societal falsehood. Being somewhere in the grey area in sexual attraction for men or women doesn't mean you're less sexually attracted to the other. It's not a zero sum situation. Just because you're stongly attracted to women doesn't mean you can't also be attracted to men in some way.

Self acceptance in CDing is one of the hardest, if not THE hardest bridges to cross. I know in another post of yours you lamented not having yet found the right woman to accept you. Usually, the primary obstacle to that happening is yourself. You can't expect someone else to accept you if you can't accept yourself. That's a long road, but you can do it.

Once you have accepted yourself to some degree, finding someone to accept you becomes a lot easier. But, you also have to be willing to give her the opportunity to accept you. Don't hide your CD interest from people you're dating. You might wait a while, a few months into dating, before telling her but don't waste too much time beating about the bush. Either she'll accept you or she won't, but if you don't give her the opportunity to accept you the answer will ALWAYS be 'no, she hasn't accepted all of me'.

Don't ever delude yourself into thinking that if you just find the right woman, you'll stop CDing. It doesn't work that way. Also, purging (by getting rid of all femme clothes you have) doesn't work either. It just wastes money.

[Tess]

I love women, and they turn me on like crazy, but I am curious about men, but I can't fathom being in a relationship with a man or even kissing a man turns me off. What does turn me on are his genitals, anyway am I crazy?

You have company. That is a very close description of where I was at personally for many years but it had nothing to do with crossdressing. Over time and experience I have lost a lot of interest in women sexually and far prefer male equipment in a sex partner, but still couldn't love a man in the same way I love a woman. With the exception of that emotion everything else is fair game with a guy.

[Lorileah]

I think men are oooogie (this week).

Fantasies are good for you. They allow you to "live out" things you won't do in real life. You can imagine what things would be like, how it would go, what would happen. Everyone does this. Seldom does it work out like you thought it would (and sometimes it works out better). It isn't abnormal, it is healthy.

Now speaking of "healthy" there were a few "go for it's" here and if you do (and it sounds like a HUGE if) be careful. Really be careful.

[kellycan27]

With so many claiming to be str8 I believe that the " I think about having sex with a man" thingy is more a product of the "Pink fog" notion.. Girls have sex with men, so in order to be more "girl like" ( for some maybe even a lot) it makes sense. Nothing wrong with that.......... I am guessing that it adds to the allure. Does thinking about it make you gay or even bi? I think not.

I am all for the try it you might like it option, but it's not a stretch for me because I like it.. You just need to keep in mind that when you get down to brass tacks and the clothes come off, the fantasy may well disappear qiuckly, but on the other hand.. it's just sex.. it washes off

Kel

[kristinacd55]

Welcome to the club Rochelle, lots of us out there have exactly the same feelings! It's all about you & what you feel that counts though

[Mistybtm]

totaly bi here and dress and had enjoyed the best of both world for a wile now just be careful and go with your gut feelings. and you will be just fine.

[Sophie_C]

I think, to answer this question is to beg the question of "What do we ALLOW ourselves to be attracted to?" Because of society, religion, family, etc - there are some serious walls placed in people's minds making them not address attraction to quite a few people, whether is it based on gender, race, class, etc. and most people are utterly unaware of that even existing.

Based on everything I've seen posted here and experienced, in this "pink fog" all bets are off, the "gloves are taken off" and people just be what they want to be, including letting fantasies take their natural course (regardless of birth gender), and YES, reality can be an extension of fantasy. I mean, isn't dreaming part of falling in love? Isn't attraction something that lingers after that person is gone and exists while you're anticipating being with them in advance?

I really, really think there is a bisexual nature present for a lot more people than care to admit to themselves (even if they are mainly birth gender heterosexual), and this is just falling into that gray area people don't allow themselves to journey into, otherwise. Does that mean they are not still mainly birth gender heterosexual? no, but it could. Does it mean they don't love their wives? Of course, not. Does it mean that this side of themselves is something that exists in thin air and vanishes when that moment of 'pink fog' is over? No. It's real and exists and is a true part of the person who cares to explore a side most people don't have the courage to do so.

Honestly, if there wasn't the "one drop" rule of gayness for birth males that exists today (meaning that most people, think that if someone is one drop non-heterosexual, they're just not admitting to themselves they are 100% gay yet), the way birth women are treated, this wouldn't be a big deal at all. I mean, have you ever heard a man thinking he should be running to a divorce if his wife was bi? But, that's pretty much par for course if a woman were to find out a man was. That's the crux of the situation and why it's very hard to know the precise truth here. But, that does seem to add up, quite a bit.

[JulieK1980]

Nothing at all wrong with that, follow your desires!

I used to have those same questions, and wondered if I was gay, or straight, or bi-curious, or (insert other terms here)

After years of soul searching, and self discovery, I realized I was Bi, I'm attracted to men and women equally. I care who the person is much more than what plumbing they have. Once I realized there was nothing wrong with me, regardless of who I was, the pieces started falling together.

[missynicole]

When dressed I love sex as a woman with a man. When a man I love sex with women. Go with what your spirit and soul tell you sweety. Oh and yes when dressed I also like sex with another cd.

[Shananigans]

Haha everyone is bi-curious, or in denial of it. I could be biased though... I wouldn't worry about it. The thought of many things turn me on, but at the end of the day I have to ask myself if it's just a fantasy. A lot of things are, and I wouldn't want to act them out in real life. So, just ask yourself if being with a man is something you would REALLY want to try. If so, go for it. You only live once according to a few religions.

[bionca]

Yes Rochelle (nice name by the way!) I have been thinking the same thing recently, but it didn't take long to realize I can't catagorize it, which is great. You are unique. Your fantasies are yours, they're creative. When I am not dressed, guys are freinds or co-workers, totally male relationship and I like it that way. When I am dressed, I fantasize about being seductive, sultry, submissive, for...pretty well anyone(!), but especially males.

[VikkiVixen7188]

I had that kind of thing going on too, but here is what it is.

You want to be a girl, and girls want to be with men.
The idea of being with a man makes you feel more like a girl.
Your not turned on by the man, your turned on by the enhanced femininity.

[Lilly 40C]

Why keep suppressing your feelings? Try it, only you will know if you like it. At first kissing another man turned me off too. Although the genital thing came very naturally. Now it is as natural as kissing a women and the genitals simply wonderful. Nothing wrong with being Bi. Lots of us here are Bi. Dressing simply amplifies those feelings, it does not create them.

[Fab Karen]

Crazy people never even think to question their sanity ( "yew betcha" *WINK* ).

As Robert Palmer said,"some like it hot, but you never know hot til you try" ( just use common sense, and protection for certain acts )

Or as the witch said, [SIZE="5"]SURRENDER DOROTHY[/SIZE]