Why are we who we are?

[Kate Simmons]

Some folks will go on and on saying we were born in the wrong body, should have been a girl, were an accident of Nature, yadda, yadda. I, personally, dismiss all of that reasoning and believe we are exactly who and what we are supposed to be. If we had no diversity in this world it would be a pretty dull place indeed. Everyone tends to want to catagorize everyone and everything so it can all be put in it's "proper place", hence we need labels and titles for everything. Some things really cannot be labeled, catagorized or tied up in a neat little ribbon, they just ARE.

We are basically here to experience feelings and emotions in the illusion of time. Part of that is designed to see how we utilize the resources given to us. Many of us are destined to experience both sets of feelings. I wouldn't know how it feels to be a "two dimensional" person and have only one set of feelings to work with, so I make use of all of them.Basically, this is our contribution to diversity. Why do you feel we are who we are?

[Shari]

You already said it Denise.

Human beings are every bit as diverse as the whole of nature itself.

Labels, tags, etc. Forget it all and enjoy what makes you happy as long as nobody else gets hurt by your actions.

[KayleeDahl]

That is it, there is too much that goes into shaping us (and not just corsets and girdles!) as human beings for us to end up being identical to each other.

It is time this world appreciated the diversity, its one of the things that makes it amazing!

Hugs
Kaylee

[Stephanie Stephens]

You never know. In one million years researchers may identify the cross-dressers of today (us) as the beginning of the third gender which took over the world. Dam, where did I put that time machine.

[Cassandra Lynn]

I came across an interesting conversation on another site, it was between a transitioning TS sister and her (former) male best friend. This is a rough translation...

"God doesn't make mistakes", he says.

"Fine, then He made me this way for a reason, maybe so i could be here to explain to people like you, about life" she answers.

I'm not trying to go into religion here, not the intent, just thought it was interesting from the standpoint of standing up for your rights to do with your body, what you feel absolutely necessary. Says a lot about self-acceptance as well. mj (Cassie)

[Wen4cd]

I also find myself dismissing any reasoning which states: "I am x gender." (Was born to be, truly am, etc.) And I also immediately internally ignore any argument in which the person claims birth defect, body flaw, brain sex, disorder, etc. (Any self-limiting or self-cursing judgments) The ultimate prize of the game I play is not victim status, nor is it further division and conflict imposed among people based on mostly imagined, petty variances that amount to a fraction of a percent of the total human experience.

It's more natural for me to see every person as a mixture of energies, not as boy or girl. Believing in integration, and knowing that there is no 100% boy, or 100% girl in any human lifeform, the more adamantly someone states their gender identity as exclusively one or the other, the more conflict I usually see in them. And in this community, you run into a lot of people who, once they stop hiding from their repressed feminine (or the reverse) follow this up by a 'flip-flop' alternately repressing the masculine, unable to merge the two in their heads as a complete person, or anything but a grotesque being, maybe because it's mostly about appearances for them still, or maybe because duality is a hard paradox to get one's head around. Some even demand to be 'made to feel like x gender,' and will not tolerate being treated as a 'human being' without gender qualifications attached somewhere.

It may feel that way for a time when one is learning about oneself, but once you experience both 'sides of the coin' you are not required to, (or are even supposed to,) 'choose one,' you are best off to realize your integrated Self transcends beyond gender.

Then, (and it seems only then,) can your 'presented' gender be a matter of free will. I think anybody may do what they wish with presentation and their bodies, but it should be done from a standpoint of expressive freedom.

Why we are who we are? Depth perception.

[DonniDarkness]

Wen4cd,

Your brilliance will always outshine your artistic expression,
you continue to amaze us with your insight to the human pyche


-Donni-

[sissystephanie]

I believe Wen4CD said it very well. There is no 100% Male or Female human. We are all a composite structure. Although my tag line says I am a male underneath, I know that I am definitely not a true male. I have a feminine side, which I like to express by crossdressing. If that makes me "different," then so be it! I am ME, and that is all I care about!

[AKAMichelle]

Heck if I understand it. But I see us made for a particular purpose in life that none of us may ever understand. But our special understanding and talents allows us the ability to connect to others uniquely. I just hope that my life will help someone else at their time of need.

[Joanne f]

Mentally i am who i am but physically i am not what i need to be , i cannot answer why this should be or how it came about but it is there and it drives me mad .

[Lexine]

I do what I do because it is, to me, a form of self-expression. It's not normal by societal standards, but I'm not looking for approval from a majority. Sometimes, I often do things that transcend my external facade so that people can think twice about what gender means to them and how silly it can be. I'm not trying to transition nor do I wish to. This is me... boy, girl, androgyne!

[MargaretJ]

Why are we who we are? Because if we were all the same, what a long, boring, tedious, pointless, existance that would be.

[joandher]

I feel that I have been blessed to be like I am I try and portray myself , to the best of my ability ,in different genders, and its absolutely brilliant

I feel now I would have missed so much if I only portrayed myself as one gender ,the single gender people really don't know how much fun they are missing

as for those who say I was born in the wrong body,well there's an old saying that grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence

to all

J-JAY

[kellycan27]

Some folks will go on and on saying we were born in the wrong body, should have been a girl, were an accident of Nature, yadda, yadda. I, personally, dismiss all of that reasoning and believe we are exactly who and what we are supposed to be. If we had no diversity in this world it would be a pretty dull place indeed. Everyone tends to want to catagorize everyone and everything so it can all be put in it's "proper place", hence we need labels and titles for everything. Some things really cannot be labeled, catagorized or tied up in a neat little ribbon, they just ARE.

We are basically here to experience feelings and emotions in the illusion of time. Part of that is designed to see how we utilize the resources given to us. Many of us are destined to experience both sets of feelings. I wouldn't know how it feels to be a "two dimensional" person and have only one set of feelings to work with, so I make use of all of them.Basically, this is our contribution to diversity. Why do you feel we are who we are?

Labels and titles are used as a means of communication between us, so that we may try and convey our thoughts and feeling to others both like us and those who feel differently. I have stated in other threads that I don't label myself anywhere but on these boards. I am pretty sure that most of us here are familiar with the terminology ( labels) and I believe that knowing where the "other" person sits in the spectrum is key to understanding that persons position, and the issues that they face. Whether you agree or disagree with the " I was born in the wrong body" statement or whether the phenom is or isn't true.. it's used a descriptive. This is a support site, and how are we supposed to be supportive .. if we don't know the other person's circumstance. Outside of here, I totally agree that it "is what it is", but we still need to take into account that there are many who might not be as accepting of or comfortable with they way that they are as some of us others. If were were all just able to accept this "it is what it is" thing a lot of therapists would be out of business..lol and this board might be of little use as intended.

Kel

[docrobbysherry]

I REALLY need to know one thing:

How did I go from trying on a pair of ladies pants at age 55 just for the halibut, to my all consuming passion to be Sherry today?

I also think we're NOT that far removed from the old "tribe mentality". When diversity was rewarded with banishment or death! We still have those tendencies today. I can see it in the eyes of my dates, as I say something they don't like. They go from, "He's interesting", to, " Oh, he's one of THOSE!"

And, I can even feel a disapproval for diversity in myself!
I know things r changing for the better. Maybe in a 100 years, there'll be no need for this site!?

[Michaela42]

Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why do dogs sniff each others . . .
I think I had better stop there. Really, I think sometimes humans never grow out of the "five year old why's" stage. That comes in handy for things like survival "Why is that bear coming closer?" and is very handy for things like science and mathematics. But sometimes, just sometimes, you have to set back and say "Just because!" Like my poor Mother used to do with my brother and I

As for 'fully' male and 'fully' female people, please refer to my signature quote . . .

[MrKunk]

I personally believe that we are indeed born this way. We discover ourselves generally
during puberty because we feel the changes, some feel it sooner but they are a minority.
I think that there are some of us that enjoy the cross indentity so we can be on both sides
of the fence. Quite intellegent if you ask me.

[Frédérique]

We are basically here to experience feelings and emotions in the illusion of time. Part of that is designed to see how we utilize the resources given to us. Many of us are destined to experience both sets of feelings. I wouldn't know how it feels to be a "two dimensional" person and have only one set of feelings to work with, so I make use of all of them. Basically, this is our contribution to diversity. Why do you feel we are who we are?

[SIZE="2"]I save a lot of time and energy by not thinking about it, but if I had to (well, you asked)…

I make my own contribution to diversity by being myself, and I’m a self-made person. You simply make do with what you have, look for pleasure where you can get it, keep it close at all times and live life according to your own precepts, real or imagined. What I mean is that I’m making it up as I go along, exploring life in all its variations, just enjoying the moment. For me, crossdressing is kind of an “underpainting” that affects everything else. Why I do it is beyond questioning at this point – it’s too obvious an undertaking, a lifestyle borne of necessity. I feel (in fact I know) I’m here completely by accident, so why not play with existence while I’m alive? You have to have some humor about the curious situation we find ourselves in – the fact that we “are” is hilarious enough, but who we are isn’t an idea worthy of dissection. I just enjoy being part of this more diverse “community” of others that is in touch with their feelings…

So, I just AM, but I’m anything but two-dimensional. One set of feelings to work with? How about an infinity of feelings, each one a door into new areas of perception about the self? [/SIZE]

[charlie]

Hello Denise!
When I first came to the forum I did not really appreciate what you were telling us Denise. How could you not be two different people and personalities when we are part time dressing and being women when we could fit it in? Slowly your logic all made sense. We really are just us. We are different then traditional men in that our feminine self is way more out front. I'm not playing someone else when I dress...I'm just breathing a sigh of relief and showing the world who I am. How can a 10 year old make a choice to be something different and wear clothes that the world had thus far told him not to wear? He didn't. He was just being him. That him is me and always has been. Charlie and Scott are one and the same.

[Alex!]

I have no problem with labels. I'm an artist that sometimes uses my body to express feminine styles. I'm a crossdresser when doing this, and there's really nothing special about that. Society tends to have a different opinion, however

[Kate Simmons]

I believe we really know we are "there" when it doesn't seem like a big deal one way or the other.

[sometimes_miss]

IT's a loaded question; for each individual, that answer will be different. We are the result of our genetics as well as our experiences, and each can influence how much the other affects us. For an example, our nutrition can change how our genetic information is able to direct our physical size, and our genetics predisposition towards aggression or timidity can influence our decisions to fight or flee, which decides how we present ourselves to the rest of society.