Are you a warrior or a princess?

[JainaCarpaccio]

Hmm well honestly it depends on what mode I'm in. As guy, while I'm pretty caring and sympathizing, I do tend to have more aggressive tendencies. I like pumping iron, though thanks to genetics I don't bulk up. I'm fascinated by knives, bows and older guns, and i like learning about combat.

When I go en femme however I find that my midset becomes much more docile. Just slipping into something sexy causes most of my agression and tension to melt away.

[Sara Jessica]

[FONT="Book Antiqua"][SIZE="2"][SIZE="2"]I’m reminded of my father, who was a leader in the local fire department back in Massachusetts. I don’t think he relished the role, which is where a lot of my questioning about male behavior, surface appearance and bravado comes from. His insecurity was noticeable. I may just be the longed-for expression he couldn’t quite accomplish – he never pushed me toward any traditional male activity, yet nurtured my artistic yearnings, along with a profound love of nature. As such, I never had the desire for dangerous undertakings or leadership, but the closet suits me just fine…[/SIZE]

Your comment makes me think of something that should be clarified. Danger knows no gender, nor does leadership. While the numbers may be fewer, and possibly fueled by societal expectations, women can have the same inclination to get into dangerous careers just as men. The same holds true for those who lead, it's equal territory for both women and men, at least in theory when it comes to opportunity. Practice may be different but I'd hope that is getting better as time goes by.

[SIZE="3"]I've spent my first 50 years or so suppressing my inner self to a large degree. I outwardly had a warrior mentality, super competitive in business and sports. Lately, more and more of my inner self is surfacing and the Princess is very close to the surface coming up for air on occassion. The warrior has retreated and fought his last battle !![/SIZE]

Interesting that this concept comes up. I'm sure it's common in our world, that many of us do the "overcompensate" thing. It's just not the first thing I think about because it wasn't part of my being.

[Crysten]

Universal Answer - it depends.

Am I a warrior or a princess? Yes. Once again, we come to the point where our thinking is forced down one path or another. Must we be so binary?

In my "real" life, I guess I would be a warrior. I wear Kevlar and carry an M-16. I work with bombs, bullets, missiles, nukes and jets. I work among highly testosterone-charged guys who go out of their way to show how manly they are. However, I am a princess, and everyone pretty much knows it. I am soft. I am gentle. I am caring. I am not entirely large.

With all of that, though, I am a good leader, and get respect without demanding it. Whether that is due to my rank, my advanced years (as I tell some of the new Airmen, "Kid, I have underwear older than you!"), or other things, I don't know.

Basically, I feel that I am both a warrior and a princess - a princess who doesn't need to be saved by another warrior. I am my own warrior. I simply choose not to dress in smelly old armor, but in lace and pearls.



Kathi

I kind of agree with Kathi on this one. In my teens and twenties....warrior all the way. Probably, over compensation. In my 30s....the "warrior" was getting a little.....tarnished? if that's the correct word. Now into my 40s....and no longer wearing kevlar....I don't know. All of my military gear has been properly disposed of....and I still have a mountain of womens clothes. I guess it must be princess now. Just waiting for my kids to get off to their own thing, then I think I'll start doing mine.

[Kathi Lake]

Well, I’m on the lookout for the sources of gender-bias, and I feel children are being gently forced down one path or another, for better or worse. It may seem (and be) innocent, but I wonder why this polarization exists at all – is it just the time we’re living in?

I try so hard to raise my kids to exist and be who and what they want to be. My 15 year-old son still holds our hands while walking at times. My 10 year-old daughter was playing dress-up last night and came out with her hair looking like princess Leia (man, she used a lot of bobby pins on those "cinnamon buns." Good thing I just bought her a new pack! ), carrying a lightsabre and dressed in her Jack Sparrow costume. Later, she changed into more casual attire, did some stretching/yoga, took up the Lotus position near where I was reading and "meditated" for a bit. She's odd, like her father, but I love her. I have tried so much harder in raising her to ensure that this is one princess that will never need rescuing. Sure, I teach her about hair and makeup and clothes, but I also made sure that she thinks spiders are cool, that she knows how to fix little things around the house (she loves her personal tool kit), that in any relationship she is the one with the power. I of course also taught her just where to strike to take down any guy.

So, binary or black and white this world may indeed be. I want my children to know that gray is OK as well. Now, is that due to my status? As many of you here know, I kind of have a foot planted in both streams, so to speak. My personality is odd, I guess. I don't really see a lot of separation between my halves - or even halves, for that matter. My "guy side" influences the woman within. The woman within heavily influences my daily life. We are one. I am me. It's odd, but it seems to work.

I was thinking about you when I wrote this piece, Kathi. You’re living proof that two seemingly dissimilar personas can coexist in one elegant package, and you do it with such grace and aplomb.

Frédérique, that may be one of the nicest compliments I have received here on the board, and I thank you so much for it! In fact, I love and trust your insight so much, I'll do something that I normally don't do with a compliment - accept it.



Kathi

[Lexine]

Why limit yourself? Warrior Princess!

Oh doc, when DON'T you have an appropriate pic to post on topics on the boards?

[SIZE="2"]I think life is just one big RPG*…[/SIZE]

I actually identify with this statement quite a bit Frédérique. I've taken on a lot of roles in my life: loving boyfriend, geeky video gamer, studious student (well, not really but I tried to be!), hardcore partier, moody goth, and most recently I've taken the persona of the cute, casual girl.

To choose between warrior and princess is like selecting or favoring a part of me over another and I've always felt that I've had the perfect balance between being a boy and a girl, having some boy-ish hobbies and having girl-ish sensibilities to even looking much younger than I am, which allows me to represent myself in either gender, or both when I go out androgyne.

I think this is why I consider myself transgender and only recently have I learned what that truly means. For me, being unable to categorize myself as being all "warrior" or being all "princess" is fine because that's what identifies me as "me."

[dilane]

...Whether that is due to my rank, my advanced years (as I tell some of the new Airmen, "Kid, I have underwear older than you!"

Just don't say "Kid, I've got bras older than you!"

[Karen564]

[SIZE=2]There was a time when I used to be a fearless warrior....[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]But traded all the armor in to be a princess...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Of course being a princess is more work, but well worth the effort if it attracts a worthy prince charming ..[/SIZE]

[morgan51]

I find it gratifying to have command of both. Nothing wrong with having varried interests and abilities.

[Sarah Doepner]

I was wondering something similar earlier today myself. There are a lot of posts here that discuss that period in life before acceptance and the emersion into testosterone-fueled activities to overcompensate for the girly feelings. These are the warriors who are attempting to establish dominion over the princess and send her away. Fortunately for the rest of us they failed and have become role models, leaders and sisters here, although that was not their plan.

My youth wasn't quite that way. I was incompetent at the macho stuff and fearful of the girly things as well. Since I couldn't compete with the warriors I just floated along attempting to navigate a path between the two worlds. Occasionally I would fall off into one or the other and be reminded of my inability to perform well in the macho role and discovering satisfaction in the female world. I couldn't overcompensate in the manly stuff and over the years I discovered even the things I thought were in the guy world were also well within the princess world as well. What first seemed to be two distinct worlds have slowly merged into one. Occasionally the fit isn't the best, but it feels so much more natural to me now than anything before where I had to shoehorn myself into one role or another.

I'm still Dad, Grandpa, a buddy, camping partner, car mechanic, plumber and yes, even a warrior. But all of those share an appreciation of the things I've come to identify as feminine. The goal here is movement toward integration I guess. A kind of satisfaction seems to come when I can relish a femme moment without getting dressed or wearing makeup. It's progress and it makes my crossdressing that much better knowing how I've changed thus far.

[firefightermedic98]

great insight i am a lil of both a good balance

[NathalieX66]

[SIZE="4"]"berdache"[/SIZE]

The native Americans describe being that word as two-spirited as warrior/mother.

[Barbara Dugan]

I never been a warrior ,does that make me a princess?

[rachael.davis]

So I have been very close with one friend for years - she is an amazing eastern dancer, has a magnificent figure, is drop dead georgeous, and is a certified handgun instructor (has been since she taught in the Navy)
Soooo at one point years ago she was having massive problems with one martial arts group we belong to, I invited her over and spent two days "tweaking" her technique her speed and power shot through the roof as she integrated the minor modifications in.
about a year after that she was over one day and said I have a silly question but I have to ask
ok
so why do you hate the creator so desperately?
You wanna know?
Yes
I'm transgendered but don't know that I'm brave enough to act on what I know I need in my life
OH? That makes sense. let me know when you are

fast forward to now

I called her and said I had pretty much had it with my life and was moving on towards a new one. we chatted for quite a while and all at once she came out with BTW Cuz - You taught me how to use naginata properly, you tweaked my sword technique to the point I can use it effectively... if you turn into some little priss who worries about breaking a nail I am going to fly back east to kick your little round backside
'

or die trying


It doesn't have to be an either or situation.

[Tommie T.]

Women throughout history have been warriors.I'm no different.A Marine,Viet Nam Vet,collectfirearms,shooting sports and hunting,nice lingerie,girly clothes,makeup,pretty panties,can swish when I walk,demur if the occasion calls for it.Must we choose?Thank god for womens lib.It has helped free us al up to be our true selves.

[Sara Jessica]

Thank god for womens lib.It has helped free us al up to be our true selves.

Sorry, I'm not seeing how women's lib has anything to do with "us". Rather, it's the service and sacrifice of those of any gender in our millitary which keeps our country free to the point where we can express ourselves without fear of arrest or worse by our government. There are many places in this world where such a concept is absolutely alien.

[Tommie T.]

I agree with the fact that both genders are making and have made equal sacrifices for our freedom.Even in ancient times when I was an active duty Marine we had women (warriors) serving.My point is that as women in our culture have become more "liberated" it has also removed some of the sterotypes,ridgid role assigntments and hypocrisy that has been placed on both genders.Women achieving a more-though still not 100% equality in our culture has liberated all of us.

[Sara Jessica]

My point is that as women in our culture have become more "liberated" it has also removed some of the sterotypes,ridgid role assigntments and hypocrisy that has been placed on both genders.Women achieving a more-though still not 100% equality in our culture has liberated all of us.

So if women have been "liberated" by removal of stereotypes, rigid role assignments, etc., then why is it that in the cd world, most expression is pegged to those very same stereotypes that natal women are free from strictly adhering to?

Again, think about it, women's lib was a movement for women with nary a thought for what it would or could do for the tg community. And by the same token, I doubt many cd'ers consider women's liberation in how they present, whether in private only or out in the world...not that it necessary that they do so, the concepts have nothing to do with one another.

[Tommie T.]

It's only because "we" choose to fulfill those stereotypes that "we" have as too how women should appear.I went to a party with a number of my cd friends and some ggs wearing pants.I was told that cd don't wear pants.I'm afraid many of us in cd land have not been liberated.By the way I do not consider or refer to womens lib as a bad thing.As in every culture-the anthropoligist in me speaking-all have proscribed roles based on many different things,be it gender,race,religion,socail status,diabled or not etc.We will never truly trat all with equality as long as we have free will the cream or the scum always rises to the surface.In the meantime I'll enjoy being Xena-warrior princess when I choose to be.And damnit I refuse to burn my bra!

[SarahLynn]

Warrior or princess???

In an earlier life I too was the warrior and yet not reached the princess stage in my dressing but in my thoughts I sometimes have that urge. Perhaps it is because I have not yet "come out" in life or in style, though to be certain I came close a few years ago.

Certainly in my writing (some of which are posted in the writers section) I have shown the "softer side" of my charactors. And shown the warrior side as well. I'd like to believe I have shown the two sides of my own personalty but I doubt that is something I have accomplished. It was not a goal I set for myself, only a fact of process for me.

We, humans, are a mix of both male and female. How and how much we choose to present is an individual concept and process, which in so far as the western world is concerned is mostly our choice. We are quite lucky in that as I'm sure you have all heard of the tg in the middleeast who wanted to change back because he found out how poorly women were treated in his world. Pity he can't be who he wanted to be. In some ways I am hoping he can't be reverted. Perhaps it will give a lesson to those who treat women as chattel.

BTW: Fredrique, that is some beautifull writing you have done here in this thread, and all your others. It is good to see such clean and orderly process. And such good grammer and spelling.

SarahLynn

[Teri Jean]

Kathi has said it fairly well. For me it is a combination of the native american two spirited member of the tribe and the wolf in sheep clothing. Although I dress as a woman and present as a woman there is the warrior just under the surface. A professional who was giving a presentation on people who act out of character in a crisis spoke of the wolf in sheep clothing or vice versa got me thinking about my own situation and it is very much like the mother and children. Loving and nurturing until there is a crisis situation.

So to the question are you a warrior or princess, Yes. Hopefully there is no need for the warrior but is part of my make up.

[sometimes_miss]

I'm a princess. Or at least I wish I were. In the meantime, I play the part of a knight, in public, anyway.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

When dressed as Embyrre, I'm definitely more of a princess, but as Zarabeth I feel more like the warrior queen underneath it all. Its very gratifying to have a stock in both camps

*hugs*

Zarabeth

[Cithmore]

I try to act like a princess however when someone is being unfair I quickley become a warrior.

[Allyson Michelle]

Pftt, Im a Warrioress!!

[Inna]

wow, fascinating thread about fascinating subject! Warrior or princess, boy or a girl. As some of you have answered why not both, funny but also extraordinarily true. Brain is now known to house a gender identity, however such identity is comprised of both ingredients, one, per natures design, should be a main other will only surface in minute amount. While forming, brain is subjected to influx of mothers hormones triggering particular formation, if for some reason messages are not delivered to precise areas at precise moment fluctuations may occur.
Disconnect between body and mind happens at that moment, creating rather devastating persona unable to jell as a whole. In population one can observe diversity of combination of male to female ingredient in individuals. Some woman present very masculine character and some males are very feminine. The ratio of femininity to masculinity is endless therefore combination are abound. Mechanics of Society have chosen stereotype over individuality and diversity. It is much easier to classify two types than infinite combination of. Long story short, everyone is a warrior and princes at the same time but with varying proportions of one versus the other. We as transgender have this natural balance thrown of in proportion to our bodies. Pretty simple.

With love, Princes Alexia fighting war on stereotype oppression. Warriors are welcome.