Week 9... questions from our GG's

[Di]

Once again questions from our fantastic GG's. Thank you all that
take the time to answer....it is much appreciated.If any of you would like to answer anonymously, please feel free to PM your answers to one of the FAB mods and we'll be happy to post your answers in this thread.

Week 9

25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing?

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum?

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace?

[GBNatarii]

25: Obviously not. I'd start being in a relationship with a person because of physical attractiveness, personality, interests, etc. Accepting of the CD'ing is just icing on the cake for me.

26: I explain it by the fact that I've learned a bit about who I am from visiting the site. It's helped a tiny bit on putting into words what exactly I'm looking to do and stuffs.

27: Honestly, I can't tell with my invisible girlfriend. Occasionally she brings it up, and demands that I dress up so she can have "girlfriends" to hang out with. Other times she's quiet, and I just know that now I should be acting like a man.

[Joanne f]

Week 9

25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing?

No as there is far more to a relationship than just CDing (in my opinion)

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum?
It does cause a problem some times and i cannot really explain why i spend to much time on here .

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace?

N/A as she knows all.

[Blaire]

25 - Didn't this get asked already? Her being completely accepting would be a great reason for me to compromise a lot better on things she wanted, sure. But we'd never get there without the everything else.

26 - I don't spend inordinate amounts of time on this forum - no more than any other computer time I spend. We each have our "me" time, I spend some of it here.

27 - N/A for me, but I'll be willing to bet that more than a few know something's up... but not what it is.

[eluuzion]

I do not have a SO, but I will assume you will let me answer anyway, cause you fell sorry for me being all alone...

25. No, no more than I would be attracted by wealth or beauty. Both are just a point in time. But, I wouldn't mind living next door.

26. If I had to explain my actions to my SO, I would be discussing the issue until it was resolved with my SO. I do not explain or justify my actions to anyone, unless I have a boss, which I do not. I let my actions determine my character in the eyes of others. If a partner has a problem, it is a responsibility of both parties to resolve it jointly, regardless of the size.

27. Any person involved in a relationship for any length of time with a partner, that thinks they are fooling their SO, is only deceiving themselves. Any marriage counselor will tell you that if you suspect a spouse is "cheating"...90% of the time you are right. It is that 6th sense aura that inhabits a partnership...

Neither one of the two scenarios you offered would lead to anything productive, for sure. That which you choose to ignore will eventually push you out the door.

[KimberlyG]

Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing? No!

How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum? I don't spend more than two hours a week. Sometimes I comment to her about the goings on here.

Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace? She know everything.

[Deborah Jane]

25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing?

No way!!
If that was the only reason to enter a relationship, there wouldn't be a relationship!!

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum?

Easy, she's on here at the same time

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace?

She knows it all, it's hard to hide the fact I'm a C/Der when we met on a C/D forum.

[sometimes_miss]

25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing?

At this point, maybe. I guess it's because I'm desperate for someone that I can be myself with, who knows how difficult it is for me to have to spend every waking moment as a guy whenever I'm not at home.

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum?

I don't spend much time here. Maybe 20 minutes or so every few days.

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace?

When I had a wife, she didn't seem to want to make waves, especially since our therapist was pro CD. Of course, that changed when ex wife decided she couldn't live with a guy who had as much female as male personality. She really wanted a 'all male' man, and never was able to accept me as I am.

[AKAMichelle]

25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing?

Never. There would have to be chemistry there before I would tell her about cd'ing. Therefore, this topic would never come up before dating. Unless she was someone from the community and it would still involve chemistry.

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum?

When I first joined I would get on here about 3-4 times a week for about 15 minutes. Now I am on there 7 days a week up to 30 minutes per day. I am here more now because I am heading into a divorce and recently started a meetup group in Denver. I remember how hard it was to meet others when I first came out and that's why I setup the group so we can find small groups all along the front range. This step makes it probably a little harder for me to find an accepting GF but I would rather hold out for one special person that 100 close seconds.

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace?

When I finally did tell my wife she made it abundantly clear that she was keeping it quiet to keep the peace. I think that would have to be true of the rest of the GG's in the world. I think that is what bothers me the most. How do you get the person to tell you how they truly feel about certain things if the tendency is to try and keep the peace all of the time?

[kimdl93]

25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing?

No, that would be a disservice to both parties.

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum?

No one is monitoring my computer use.

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace?

In my case, there's nothing to suspect - I'm fully open with her about my dressing.

[BRANDYJ]

Week 9...

Once again questions from our fantastic GG's.



25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing?

No I would not. There has to be an attraction long before my ever thinking about her acceptance of my crossdressing. To me it's like asking me if her accepting of my golfing, singing, or fishing would make me go into a relationship with her.

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum?

Right now, we live 1,200 miles apart, so my time is mine unless we call each other. But when we lived together, I kept my computer time to a minimum and focused on her wants and needs. It never was or will be an issue.

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace?

My SO is fully aware, accepting and my dressing has never been an issue. She knew long before we met face to face. So i guess a 'N/A' is in order.

[minalost]

25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing?

Hmmm. Didn't this one get asked already? And, no, that would be dumb.

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum?

When I first joined it was like 2 hours a day! Now it's more like I check in once or twice a day, maybe 15 or 20 min. each, and that's it. It's no more time than I spend on any other computer activity. And besides, I usually do it from my personal computer in my office, so no one knows how much time I spend here anyway.

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace?

My SO knows. We don't talk about it as kind of a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

[LeeBe]

25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing?

No. Of course at the time I was falling in love with my love, I really thought that the desire to crossdress would fade away once we were married. Anyone care to take a guess on how that worked out??!!

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum?

I really don't spend an unusual amount of time here, just keep up with the current things.

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace?

While my bride is aware of my dressing I don't believe she knows how deeply involved I am in it. She might be the inventor of the don't ask don't tell policy. I can't believe that she doesn't see some of clothes I have bought over the years.

[joandher]

25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing?

not a chance, it wouldnt be a true relationship

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum?

its my free time

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace?

my S/o knows i fully underdress 24/7,and have done for 7 yrs ,washers and irons my undies and seems accepting so far

[Rachel05]

25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing? - Not a chance, as someone else said, it would be the icing on the cake but not the cake for me

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum? - My way of enhancing the person I am by shared experience and the fact that my wife will not share with me and help me

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace? - For years I was absolutely certain that I was as careful as careful could be, ultra careful and when my wife "did find out", she tells me she had known for years and just kept quiet, so not as careful as I thought, there's me thinking she had just found me out!!!

[stacey.eyes]

25) No, that's not enough to build a relationship on.

26) S.O. doesn't know how much time I'm on here. We both have our own computer time, and we don't see a need to pry.

27) She knows I dress and we talk about it sometimes. She's tolerant, but not really accepting or enthusiastic.

[Sarah Doepner]

25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing?

No. I don't expect to ever get in another relationship either, so this is hard for me to even think about.

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum?

I can't explain the amount of time I spend on the computer to myself. It's not just this forum but the news, 3 email accounts, facebook, hobby photo sites, other entertainment and just about anything else to avoid doing yardwork or cleaning the garage.

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace?

She knows and keeps quiet on my cding because it's less of a problem than me being a general slacker and getting the yardwork done or the garage clean. Honest. Take this computer from my lap, please!

[sandra-leigh]

What is the difference between Q25 and Week 6's
"16) Would you go into a serious relationship for the sole reason she is accepting?"

I see that #25 adds "of your CDing", but is that considered to be a significant difference?

25) My answer is still No.

26) No explanations have been requested in the 3+ years she has known; I read the forum openly.

27) Suspects what? My SO has gone to my meetings with me.

[Sarah_GG]

I know I'm not supposed to contribute anything here, but regarding repetition of questions, it's a similar thing on the 'ask a GG' thread.

Sometimes similar questions will come up again and again because they may be asked by different people who're not satisfied (or didn't read) the earlier questions. Or in the context of different questions accompanying them.

I don't think any of us should take repeated questions personally! It's all about sharing information and gives the poster the opportunity to phrase things differently or enlarge on their original response (or not as the case may be).

When questions do come up more than once, then it's obviously a question that GGs want an answer to and may not have received a satisfactory answer to already?

[SherriePall]

Well, Di, here goes my answers:
1. Would I enter into a relationship based on the sole reason that she is accepting of my CDing?
No. I have often thought about that and I know there are too many other reasons to enter into a relationship. I just know that I couldn't do it.

2. How do I explain the amount of time I spend on the computer viewing this forum?
I really don't spend that much time any more since I have been working. I don't spend all day and, therefore, there are no questions asked. My wife did ask me once what I was doing prior to her entering the room and I told her that I was on a forum. So, I think she knows (I often wonder if she blocks out some of my CDing activities because she has asked a couple of times about different things),

3. Do you really think your SO suspects nothing or is merely keeping quiet to keep the peace?
Whoa! My wife keep quiet to keep the peace. Get real. She knows I CD because I told her 10 + years ago and because she has seen most of my things and washes my lingerie and anything else I need washed. She just doesn't want to see me! BTW, I try to keep my CDing at the bottom of the list of things to do, but I do require some time.

[Lorileah]

25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing?

No, there are other criteria also.

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum?

My compulsive behavior and the fact I like a few people here. Now if I had to explain why to a SO, that would sort of make some of the criteria from above null and void and there would not be a relationship any longer. I don't expect my SO to explain why they do something (well unless it is really stupid like trying to fix the garbage disposal while it is running) and they should not have to know why I do things. I have never been one for someone to try and keep my under their thumb.

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace?

There is nothing to suspect. Anyone who I am involved with will know and if it is an issue we can discuss how it is an issue and try and resolve it or we move on

[Jenny Green]

25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing?
-- Absolutely not. The person-to-person relationship (that special spark of Love!) has to be there, and has to be Numero Uno.

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum?
-- I don't. It's my secret, my time. I limit myself to jumping on here just a couple of times a day during a break. 2 minutes to go for this break! :-)

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace?
-- 10 yrs ago she found a little bag of clothes. Just one outfit. I fessed up that it was mine (hard conversation!) and her reaction told me that without a doubt the best thing was to limit/control the damage, so I just told her that it was a passing phase due probably to an on-going lack of physical contact and that it was probably kicked into gear by a recent trip where I'd accompanied her to a store where she bought new clothes and undies. We've moved twice since then, so I know she believes for absolute certain that I have no fem clothes at all, because where would I hide them? Well, I do have them but now keep them off-site and completely unattached to my name in any way. I never dress at home or anywhere I can possibly be caught any longer. It would be cool if, in the time following her finding some of my clothes, if she would have invited me to maybe tag along when she was lingerie shopping or made any suggestion that she considered CDing in any way fun, but no, and I am comfortable with keeping it private. I dislike the lie, but it's not worth the risk of uprooting our 29 years of marriage. Okay, that was more than 2 minutes. Back to work! :-)

[aggi123]

Once again questions from our fantastic GG's. Thank you all that
take the time to answer....it is much appreciated.If any of you would like to answer anonymously, please feel free to PM your answers to one of the FAB mods and we'll be happy to post your answers in this thread.

Week 9

25) Would you go into a relationship with the sole reason that she is accepting of the CDing?

26) How do you explain the amount of time you spend on the computer viewing this forum?

27) Do you think your SO really suspects nothing, or is she keeping quiet in order to keep the peace?

Yes I would! I fully intend on giving full disclosure next time I meet someone whom I am interesting in asking out.

I play world of warcraft, so time spent viewing this forum is very small in comparison lol

If I had a significant other, I'm sure she would be suspicious.

[sometimes_miss]

When questions do come up more than once, then it's obviously a question that GGs want an answer to and may not have received a satisfactory answer to already?

I think it's also a result of all the closed threads; sure, we can search, but it only turns up discussions that we can no longer respond to, and sometimes we just want to let our feelings be known, at least to someone, anyone.

[bredalee25]

# 25 in a word NO

#26Why would I have to explain for doing something I enjoy doing.

#27 My wife knows I dress