Being submissive is certainly an interesting fantasy but, probably, in reality it wouldn't be a very fun way of life.
Being submissive is certainly an interesting fantasy but, probably, in reality it wouldn't be a very fun way of life.
Interesting comment. Makes me think....You could apply the part about anything being an interesting fantasy, but in reality it wouldn't be a very fun way of life.Originally Posted by izzfan
Being full time female
Being in transition
Being petite
Being big breasted...... Well you get the idea. It is a fun way of life for many. Maybe "fun" is not the correct word. But it is a way of life I like, want and do live. I would not want to change it. The each his/her own.
So like all the examples above. (Being anything) can be fun (your word) for someone, just perhaps not you or me.
This is definitely the case for me. Forced feminization and bondage while dressed is great. I love it when my girlfried suprises me with a "get dressed!" or "put on your shoes!"
Miss Brianna...that term "forced femization" I never have gotten that. How can a man say he is into forced femization when in fact if he is into it, he is not being forced at all. Talk about an oxymoron! Ok, I get it that some men need to pretend he is being forced so it is like this act was not his idea. Usually a man that does not accept the fact that he enjoys crossdressing. So it is really just play acting and not real at all.
My SO does tell em when she wants me to dress. it might even be in the form of an order. But never is it forced or even close to it. I want to dress for her. She wants me to dress for her, so I would not even like to "play" like it is forced. I just don't get it.
I also enjoy bondage. Hand cuffs or ankle shackles. I trust makes me feel like she is keeping me all for herself and to serve her every wish. Which I do. Sometimes it kind of scares me about what I'd do to please her. Not sure if it's all about being submissive to her, or out of deep love for her. BUT IN EITHER CASE, I HAVE 100% TRUST IN HER.
Imagine an auditorium full of people.
The speaker asks all the extroverts to stand up and shake hands with all around them. Pretty good odds most of the extroverts will do so.
Now, all the shy people, do the same thing...
anybody? ...no shy people?
I'd love to have a nice sub taking care of my wishes, doing my pedicures and manicures, and trying to keep me happy (actually not hard to do, lol). And if he looked like a babe while doing so, what's not to like?
Mea, not shy
As someone mentioned earlier, Passive or introvert, is probably a more appropiate word for me, than submissive. I have learned to be more assertive than when I was younger and shy'er.
In pretty much everything in life, I do prefer taking on the helper, "wind beneath the wings", kind of role.
However, if someone tries to force me into submission, I can be very much a rebeller. If someone treats me decently and with respect, I always let them have the lead and am satisfied with being the helper/supporter.
If someone has a project, I love anticipating their next move and have the right tools and stuff ready for them to have handy as they are proceding. That is my happiest role in life. I probably would have made a good surgical nurse, helping the doctors.
I also have always prefered strong women as leaders in my life and wanted to pattern my life after them. I have never had a desire to have a male role model and I consciensly made that choice when I was around 5 or 6. My crossdressing started around age 7, so there could be a very natural link for me.
Last edited by Jonianne; 06-19-2010 at 06:52 AM.
Joni
"Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free" Bob Dylan
Hi Mea, Your comments got me to thinking about something I have done around female friends from time to time. Now I'm talking about mostly or very vanilla GG women. None that knew of my being either a crossdresser or a submissive at the time. In some cases it was one on one and I remember at different parties, maybe 3-4 women all in a conversation together.Imagine an auditorium full of people.
The speaker asks all the extroverts to stand up and shake hands with all around them. Pretty good odds most of the extroverts will do so.
Now, all the shy people, do the same thing...
anybody? ...no shy people?
I'd love to have a nice sub taking care of my wishes, doing my pedicures and manicures, and trying to keep me happy (actually not hard to do, lol). And if he looked like a babe while doing so, what's not to like?
Mea, not shy
I'd start off asking how they would like a guy that would give them a massage for as long as they liked. Then ask if they would like a guy that did the cooking, cleaning up afterwards, a guy that did the laundry, the main household chores such as vacuuming, dusting, dishes etc. Then I'd ask how they'd like a guy that would brush their hair and care for it, even give them a bath and shave their legs for them. He would do pedicures and manicures, I'd ask if they would like a guy that ran all the errands, would give up a day of fishing or golf and do something together with you even if he would rather do something else. He'd even do all your ironing. And to top it off, he does windows! lol
Well the response was nothing but YES, YES YES! Other then some that did not like someone giving them a bath or brushing their hair or one or another point. But as soon as I said this guy would be submissive to all their needs and wants and look to be dominated by them, some, not all, then would say they don't like submissive men or being dominated. Funny how adding the words dominant and submissive instantly gave them a different view of the picture I painted.
Of course i might have outed myself as a submissive to them, and that's fine. But if I also outed myself as a CD, then things might have really gone negative. However, there are a few that I did trust in telling in private. Not one felt any differently about me as a man or a person.
Interesting how many women would love the attention, but don't want to put a label on it.
That's because the GGs dont want anybody to know that their guy is submissive--actually want they really want is a guy who is dominant with everybody else but submissive to them and their needs.
[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]
...are crossdressers that are submissive, and are crossdressers are not!
not all crossdressers are submissive, and not all submissive are crossdressers...
big hug to you all!!
For those CDs who experience guilt (a needles feeling we impose on ourselves after years of having to be male) submission may help relieve it. Being "forced" to dress or serve a woman may in some way take some of their own decision-making out of it.
Just a theory, but as there are whole sites devoted to submissive "sissies" and some guilt may be inevitable, for some of us anyway, I think it is one possible reason.
The extraordinary pressure some males in high business places deal with may lead to submissive crossdressing, too, or at least be associated with it.
In typical D/s relationships there is a power exchange. Since the top can only behave as the bottom has allowed through negotiations, the bottom has the most power. The power to give, the power to allow, and most importantly the power to say NO!
Any supposed D/s relationship where the bottom just does whatever the top says and is bullied is frowned upon by the BDSM community at large.
These types of bottoms who put themselves in these situations are usually lacking in self esteem and can be somewhat mentally unstable, in other words, a bad situation.
I'm saying this not from experience but because i've done some research and talk with friends in my local BDSM community.
I'm hoping that i may meet a GG that is supportive and accepting of a TG mate, and is also somewhat dominant as i'm naturally submissive.
And i like your discription Brandy, i too wish too serve my mate and honor her in her beauty and femininity by doing so.
mj (Cassie)
This is far too general a topic to adraw conclusions, so I shall speak of myself only. It is also far too easy to confuse empathy with submission. As male, I do not do not seek to rule over my wife (or other GGs), for I do not have that right. That said, I do tend to be a lot more open to her needs and wants. I believe in partnership, and think that CDing is a great leveler in that regard.
My CDing when combined with that great partnership has made me stronger, though. I refuse to submit to those who would put me down for being me. I've been hurt too bad in the past, and the stuff won't happen again, because I have a great ally in my my wife.
The final thing I'll say in all this is that I hate the way CDing is presented by porn purveyors. Whilst I can't accurately quantify it, I feel that there is a out of proportion emphasis on submission there.
Huggles
Toni-Lynn
--I'm TN (transnationalist) - a Canadian born in an American's body! I stand on guard for thee!
Nope...not submissive but I am flexible. I am an Alpha male in drab but when CD'ing I tend to be a bit less Alpha and more flexible. I mean, I enjoy feeling both feminine (when dressed) and masculine when in drab. I am not ever looking for a fight or trouble but don't like taking direct orders either (dressed or not). I do enjoy helping clean the house while dressed and cook, and ya know, my wife likes it too!
My male self is a control freak and Tina is incredibly high-maintenance (as my wife will tell you!) and is a neatness freak. We do understand well the D/s lifestyle, but my wife and I are "into" equality and empathy, something the arrival of Tina has enhanced greatly!
In keeping with the thread, since Tina only arrive 5 years ago, the reality is that there was nothing submissive about me before Tina, and nothing has changed. In fact, I would venture so far as to say that I see becoming Tina as a very dominant act, taking control of a part of my life that was "floating" up to that point. Ah yes, the control freak in me seems to be in full bloom, even controlling existence to permit my feminine side to flourish.
Tina!
I'm a switch and dressing doesn't appear to have a direct impact on my dominant or submissive behaviors.
Now choice of clothing certainly does... which is to say if I go for a pink flower soft outfit... it swings my submissive mindset into play.
On the other hand when I grab my leather skirt, a dark red or deep violet top tight to my body... my dominate side takes a nice step forward.
I suspect if one were too do a study on people (any sex) you would find that how one dresses can directly effect how dominate or submissive the person feels (or reacts in a given situation). There have been studies which touch upon these basis's and we know how one dresses effects ones emotions and mood on a multitude of levels.
If I were to gather a guess... most men who cross-dress (and have a significant and healthy male side) will likely feel more submissive when dressed in females clothing. But there we always be some (and some outfits) which work the other way
Have fun and enjoy life.
Skye
The answer is simple in my opinion: no.Is there a connection..crossdressing and being submissive?
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] ~Michelle~
I have welcomed new members, I have help people with issues, I have complimented people, have never tried to be the center of attention, yet except for 2 members I have never received any appreciation either by message or friend request. Members who don't have a photo to show, have never received similar appreciation either. Nobody has ever welcomed me, helped me or complimented me except for 2. I'm disappointed, I have no other choice but to leave.
I would disagree with your simple answer Michelle.
I never said anything about 'ALL Cder's being submissive, but I do feel there is a definite connection for 'MANY' CD's to desire being submissive to their wife or SO...or maybe just for play with any GG that would play the role of a Domme. I am not talking about being submissive in general to just anyone or in their social or work place life. I for one am not submissive to anyone any place or time other then the one woman I am in love with. My desire or interest in being submissive to GG's was definitely born out of my admiration, respect, love and yes, even lust for women in general. I simply think this may be true for many of us. Again, not all of course. In fact some CD's like to be or play the Domme role when dressed. Some like to dominate women and some like to dominate other CD's or even men. We surely are not all cut from the same mold. But again, I think it is a popular feeling in many of us.
Hi Skye, You bring up a very valid point. I will admit that I do feel more submissive when dressed. And further, if I am dressed in a maid's uniform, I feel even more submissive. I would suspect that for the GG Domme, she might also feel more dominant when she is wearing leather, boots, hose and other things that are typically worn by those that engage in BDSM or D/s. However, most truly dominant women dress like anyone else other then for play time, party time etc.I'm a switch and dressing doesn't appear to have a direct impact on my dominant or submissive behaviors.
Now choice of clothing certainly does... which is to say if I go for a pink flower soft outfit... it swings my submissive mindset into play.
On the other hand when I grab my leather skirt, a dark red or deep violet top tight to my body... my dominate side takes a nice step forward.
I suspect if one were too do a study on people (any sex) you would find that how one dresses can directly effect how dominate or submissive the person feels (or reacts in a given situation). There have been studies which touch upon these basis's and we know how one dresses effects ones emotions and mood on a multitude of levels.
If I were to gather a guess... most men who cross-dress (and have a significant and healthy male side) will likely feel more submissive when dressed in females clothing. But there we always be some (and some outfits) which work the other way
But you make me wonder...If I was to dress in leather and what is considered the dominant look, would I then feel more dominant? I think so. Of course I can't see myself ever dominating my SO. It just would not work or be right for me....and definitely would be a hard limit for her. As in it's not happening! lol
So the way anyone dresses might make them feel differently with each different mode of dress.
I can almost copy Tinalynn's words, word for word. As a Male, I am the traditional husband, who is very much in control of the household, and my wife and I are equals in the house. Everyone of our friends would see us as the "traditional" couple. I work, manage the household stuff, and she's the traditional "wife" stereotype. Neither one is submissive or dominate.
However, behind closed doors, all she has to do is say a few words, and we both know who is in control. Not for things such as cleaning, cooking, etc, just small hints of control, like to go get her this or that, or do this small task.
Now, from a CD size, The submissive part has been around for most of our marriage, however, prior to the start of wearing her lingerie, I had to initiate it. Now, as the CD part of our relationship has come out over the past 5 years, she is very comfortable being the Dominate one, and actually is to the point where she enjoys it, and wants more. Nothing big, just mild bdsm stuff. When I'm dressed in lingerie, I totally forget about being the male, and will do anything she ask, and she takes advantage of that. When she leaves a nice nightie on the bathroom counter at night, I immediately know she wishes to dominate me, and I immediately get excited about pleasing her in every way she asks. No questions asked.
So, I don't know if there's a connection, however, both parts have been around for 20 years or so, and it's become more open the last 5 years, and enjoyable to both. As our son will be leaving for the military in 4 months, I'm hoping that the CD and Submissive part of our relationship will grow, and become more of a regular part of our routine.
Hello again Bobbi, (said hello in your introduction) I too agree with what Tinalynn had to say. There really is no one way or right way to feel or be submissive or dominant. Each couple has to work out what is right for them both to enjoy their roles in each other's life. No different then any other interaction as husband and wife. I think I said it before, for some it's just a weekend or every now and then play thing. For others it's a 24/7 way to interact with each other. Or at least know who is the dominant one and wears the pants so to speak. There are various rituals, protocal that many follow each and everyday. My SO and I did for quite awhile until life got in the way. And when we are able to live together again, it will have to change since we now have her 3 granddaughters to raise. So nothing will be giving us away as to how we interact. We will simply be grandma and grandpa to them. But behind closed doors we know we will still be able to enjoy the private moments in our respective roles in each other's life. But maybe the girls will see how a man does like to help out and do things for the lady he loves. That a woman is not the only one to do chores and housework etc. So I think we can instill some good impressions as to what a caring gentleman is. At the same time, we will always know I serve her and she is in charge. For me, it makes no difference as to how I am dressed. Yet I do feel somewhat more submissive when dressed for her. I'm glad she really enjoys that side of me too.
You are very lucky to have such a wonderful wife that has learned to enjoy your fem and sub side.
The simple answer is: no.
Yes, there are cd's who are submissive, but that doesn't mean there's a connection. And there are guys who don't crossdress, are manly men, take-charge dominant leaders at work and in the community, who are extremely submissive at home.
No connection.
But here's a factor...
(oh, gosh, never thought I'd ever be defending purveyors of porn)
the customers of the product are both the dom type who can imagine themselves being the one playing with the sub shown...
while the same images are easy enough for the sub type to imagine being the sub shown.
(Not that I would know)
Hey brandy,
i had some thoughts about the term Forced Femme....
The Forced part is usually part of the Dom's perspective of attraction, as to where the Femme part is is more part of the Subs perception of attraction. Its a two part fantasy, the terminology was created to be attractive for both parties....not just the "sissy"
Skye had a great point as well in her view of the attire/switch persona. Being a switch, i have to agree....Dress and undies is much more the mindset/attitude of being the Sub....as to where the Leather and chains is more the Dom's side of the sexual role play...I tend to think softer and be more open to the Submissive role with softer clothing. When im feeling the Dom side kicking in, its all about the hard edge of the leather and boots....However this just speaks to the sexual side of D/s fantasy
Id also point out sometimes 50/50......means you both have an active role in productivity around your house not just inside....50/50 of the house work, 50/50 of the yard work....
Why cant we just split the 50/50's......ill do the house....and you do the yard.....lol....Just teasing
-Donni-
I'm more a neutral type as well, however I do notice that I'm sometime more submissive when I'm dressed... I tend to just go with the flow an the only time alarm bells have rung for me at the moment have been when my wife asks if the mail has been. I wouldn't mind toting with the idea of me being submissive but I supposed that's a step for another heeled day
When a young boy feels an attraction to femininity, and things feminine, there will be effects. Living in our culture, it's not unusual for parents, peers, advertising, and the media in general, to often equate femininity, and femaleness in general with frivolousness, weakness and passivity. Shame, embarrassment, and self-loathing can easily accompany a boy's desire to be feminine. It's not a huge step for a developing youngster to sexualize his feelings to deal with the shame he (quite unnecessarilly) feels, and turn his embarrasment and anxiety over being different into a turn-on, something that is alot easier to handle. I didnt just make this up. I have seen it described by more than one person who was a cd or used to identify as one. Seems as good an explanation as, actually better than, any other I have seen.
Hugs,
Melissa
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