First time going to a club dressed- question

[CDBoiinFLA]

Hello,

I am planning to go out to a few clubs this weekend dressed for the first time. The clubs are all crossdresser friendly and I am extremely excited. However, I do have a question or two for more experienced dressers who have gone to clubs before.

I normally like to dress in skirts and dresses and some of them happen to be pretty short. I was wondering if I should wear long pants or something less risque so that I don't commit any sort of faux paus I am unaware of. If its ok to dress as sexy as you want then that would be great, but I want to make sure I don't start off on the wrong foot.

Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

[StephanieDragg]

Dress what you feel comfortable in and what you think look good, if you like short skirts where it, I think most gurls do, sometimes I show up in pant suits or long dress and everyone says dang gurl show off those legs!... I think most important though is to wear shoes that you will be comfortable walking around in for a bit! ( that are still sexy!)

[AllieSF]

It is difficult to really say not knowing the type of clubs that you are going to and your personal style that you want to present. The best way would be to go there in drab first and ask the bartender how everyone dresses for the weekend, guys and gals, and specifically ask if they wear what you are thinking of wearing. You are in Florida it appears, so I would think that something that takes into account the hot and humid weather also should be considered. her in the San Francisco area, the straight clubs for dancing can get pretty sexy and stylish looking, while the gay and lesbian clubs tend to be more jeans and very casual attire. Good luck and let us all know how it goes.

Also, welcome to the forum and I hope that you enjoy your stay here.

[Katesback]

Going to the clubs. Does that mean you will drive there and then sit in the car and run out of guts to actually go inside?

I remember those days quite well. I presume you are going to go to a gay bar since that seems to be the common course that crossdressers take.

I think it is fair to say that you can dress however you wish but more importantly ya might consider trying to dress like REAL women dress for the circumstances that you are in.

Katie

[DonnaT]

Having been to a few CD friendly clubs, if you really look good enfemme, then wearing short skirts will be fine.

But, then again, it depends on how the other gals dress. If everyone dresses more conservatively, then wearing a short skirt will make you stand out and possibly apart from the others.

First visit, wear a respectable length skirt, or if preferred, jeans, and get to know the other gals there.

[pernille d]

i am going out for the first time this weekend too!!!

i took some advice and i have done some homework on where i am going,(a few simple quick e-mails answered my questions) . if you can do some homework ,it will put your mind at ease

what also i have learnt is wear what you feel comfortable and relaxed in.

[RozalynLove]

Going to the clubs. Does that mean you will drive there and then sit in the car and run out of guts to actually go inside?

I remember those days quite well. I presume you are going to go to a gay bar since that seems to be the common course that crossdressers take.

I think it is fair to say that you can dress however you wish but more importantly ya might consider trying to dress like REAL women dress for the circumstances that you are in.

Katie

I don't really understand why you posted. You weren't at all supportive, you made a presumption that lead to no point being made, and advised someone that dressing as a real women would you was more important that dressing the way they wanted. I understand that you want to be as convincing of a women as possible, but you've got to understand that is a personal preference, and also that there are a lot of real women of all ages who enjoy showing flesh in the appropriate situations, such as night clubs.

[abigail43]

I believe it is what image of your self you want to put across . do you want people to see you as a novice or a girl who has had some experience you can where a short skirt with out looking ****tish it just really depends on the shoes you where trust me you will need to have a comfortable pair if shoes so do your home work

[SuzanneBender]

Dress appropriate to the club and in a manner in which you feel comfortable. Comfort breeds confidence and confidence breeds acceptance.

Abigal has a good point make sure you wear shoes that you can handle all night or have a back up pair available and for goodness sake girl make sure the shoes rock the outfit!

Have fun.

[Daenna Paz]

If its ok to dress as sexy as you want then that would be great, but I want to make sure I don't start off on the wrong foot.

Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thank you![/QUOTE]

[SIZE="4"]Above all ... HAVE FUN!!! [/SIZE]

[SIZE="3"]PS A stylish but comfortable pair of shoes does go a long way! [/SIZE]

[Sammy777]

Going to the clubs.
Does that mean you will drive there and then sit in the car and run out of guts to actually go inside? I remember those days quite well.

I presume you are going to go to a gay bar since that seems to be the common course that crossdressers take.

I think it is fair to say that you can dress however you wish but more importantly ya might consider trying to dress like REAL women dress for the circumstances that you are in.

Katie

[SIZE="3"]

Wow! Thank You Captain Kill Joy


Last time I checked a "friendly" club doesn't automatically mean a Gay/Lesbian club.

And you know, when you're telling these little stories........
Have a point........It makes it so much more interesting for the listener.

Try cutting the OP a little slack, she is new here after all.

And what ever bad experiences you might have had or not had by spending the night in the parking lot of a bar is not exactly the same as a lot of other people here.

Geez! And I though I was the one with the claws

Now to answer the OP.....
Your wardrobe selection for the night can be solved with a few simple phone calls to the bars you intend to be going to. And if you can't get someone on the phone try googling them, most places have online reviews of some sorts and people will usually describe the setting, vibe and how the crowd was dressed.

Unless these are really upscale places, I would avoid a dress.
But a skirt should not be a problem, just make sure it is not short enough to be confused for a belt.

I hope this post has actually helped you out some. And welcome! [/SIZE]

[Diane Smith]

If you can't wear a short skirt when out clubbing, then what are they good for? It sounds like an ideal opportunity to me.

- Diane

[Kate Simmons]

Observe the other patrons observing you. That will give you a hint.

[Raquel June]

Don't worry about it. The skankiest thing in your closet probably isn't going to surprise anybody. I'll bet the bartender has some stories for ya...

I used to spend a lot of weekends hanging out at Ohio clubs with a CD friend of mine (also a member of this forum) who wears a lot of skin-tight dresses that barely cover her butt. Never saw a bad reaction at a club, but I did see a lot of gay guys who thought she was awesome. Reactions were a little more mixed when we went to a straight strip club and she was wearing a kinda see-through leotard and assless leather chaps, but that's probably not on your agenda.

I don't really understand why you posted. You weren't at all supportive, you made a presumption that lead to no point being made, and advised someone that dressing as a real women would you was more important that dressing the way they wanted. I understand that you want to be as convincing of a women as possible, but you've got to understand that is a personal preference, and also that there are a lot of real women of all ages who enjoy showing flesh in the appropriate situations, such as night clubs.

So what if Katesback was being a bit sarcastic? You're being a hypocrite yourself for flying off the handle and calling her this obnoxious unsupportive person just because she made a smartass comment about not getting out of the car. I thought it was funny. Hell, I'm fulltime and some days I don't have the guts to get out of the car at Walmart.

And you really don't need to be criticizing someone for suggesting you dress like a "real" woman would dress, either. Going to a club should be about having fun, but it's sad to see everybody calling each other "she" around here, but then you act like someone's a huge A-hole for suggesting having the self-respect to dress like an actual woman with self-respect would dress.

Wow! Thank You Captain Kill Joy


Last time I checked a "friendly" club doesn't automatically mean a Gay/Lesbian club.

Then I think you need to check again, because last time I checked it does.

Maybe you can find some example of a transvestite-welcoming redneck bar somewhere, but well over 99% of "crossdresser friendly" clubs would also be considered gay or "alternative" clubs that likely have a drag show.

[donninacd]

I went to a club dressed for the first time just about a month ago (in Florida too as it so happens) so I can share my experience. I definitely like the sexy look and wore stilettos, white fishnets and white shorts (now I have a denim mini skirt, but as Charlie Anders in the Lazy Crossdresser, which I'm currently reading points out, the inventor of skorts knew, the difference between shorts and a short skirt is not much). The stilettos were too hard to dance in and I've now bought some boots with block heels that aren't quite so high. I'm pudgy but otherwise have some passable qualities, and got groped and hit on by a few men, and also hit on by some older (I'm 47, so 50s/60s) women. All in all a fun time that makes me want to look even better by losing the weight, and want to be able to dance more by wearing somewhat more conservative shoes. Long story short, the sexy look worked for me, YMMV (your mileage may vary)

If you can't wear a short skirt when out clubbing, then what are they good for? It sounds like an ideal opportunity to me.

Ditto

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Wear your sexiest short skirt you have all the girls will be wearing sexy skirts.

[RozalynLove]

[QUOTE=Raquel June;2189254]
So what if Katesback was being a bit sarcastic? You're being a hypocrite yourself for flying off the handle and calling her this obnoxious unsupportive person just because she made a smartass comment about not getting out of the car. I thought it was funny. Hell, I'm fulltime and some days I don't have the guts to get out of the car at Walmart.

And you really don't need to be criticizing someone for suggesting you dress like a "real" woman would dress, either. Going to a club should be about having fun, but it's sad to see everybody calling each other "she" around here, but then you act like someone's a huge A-hole for suggesting having the self-respect to dress like an actual woman with self-respect would dress.
---

I fail to see why you would feel the need to defend this person on the grounds that they may not have been being serious. I personally took it as being serious, and if it was not then I'm sure this person is in a better position to let people know they weren't, if they want to.

As for your opinion of me being a hypocrite, I am not trying to be rude, but it's clear you have no understanding of what the word means and so should refrain from using it. I made a post stating that I did not understand why someone had given such an unsupportive, pointless reply to someone asking for advice, and I think you'll see my post was very supportive of the original poster, and also had an obvious point.

Also, the need I felt to criticize the advice to dress as 'real' as possible came from the person giving the advice suggesting this was more important than dressing how you actually want to dress. It also in my opinion shows how narrow minded some of the people here actually are, that they consider how others dress to be 'un-lady like' or consider it to demonstrate a lack of self respect.

As for your reply arguing the 'friendly' club probably being a gay/lesbian club, you are arguing for the sake of it, and since you are very bad at it, you should stop before you look ever sillier.

[Farrah]

Wow!! SOunds like fun...I wish I were going too!! I hope you have a good time!! Tell us about it afterwards...

[Jamiegirl1]

Wear the clothes that make you feel the most like a woman in,I usually prefer mini skirts or mini dresses,most other "girls" I have seen are also dressed very sexy!

[sandra-leigh]

Maybe you can find some example of a transvestite-welcoming redneck bar somewhere, but well over 99% of "crossdresser friendly" clubs would also be considered gay or "alternative" clubs that likely have a drag show.

Perhaps it depends on what you mean by "accepting".

This city used to have roughly 7 gay/lesbian clubs and 3 lesbian clubs (who were also fine with MTF cross-dressers I hear). There are now only 2 gay/lesbian clubs left. Not because the population of GBLT dwindled and not because they went out any less, but simply because pretty much everywhere in the city became accepting enough that having a specialized club became redundant.

There aren't any local clubs that the local GBLT have suggested might be unwelcoming. I have spoken to some "exotic dancers" and they have only named one place in the city where the patrons might give me a rough time. That doesn't mean that the staff and patrons at all the other places are going to break out the smiles when I arrive, but "live and let live".

[CherryZips]

Also any half decent fetish club across the world will accept a crossdresser in any outfit.

In fact the more outrageous the better.

And you might find people who understand exactly why you do it.

[CDBoiinFLA]

Thank you for all the informative answers and support. I'm going to do a little online research and maybe make a call or two, but if I can't find anything definitive I'm going to wear what makes me feel most comfortable and sexy.

Also, thanks to everyone that recommended comfortable shoes, I have changed the shoes I was planning on wearing thanks to that advice.

I appreciate everyone making me feel welcome!

[Sammy777]

Wow! Thank You Captain Kill Joy


Last time I checked a "friendly" club doesn't automatically mean a Gay/Lesbian club.

Then I think you need to check again, because last time I checked it does.

Maybe you can find some example of a transvestite-welcoming redneck bar somewhere, but well over 99% of "crossdresser friendly" clubs would also be considered gay or "alternative" clubs that likely have a drag show.

[SIZE="2"]Call me crazy or just lucky, but don't call me Shirley, lol.

So far I have yet to have a single problem at any bar/club I've been out to, and no, they were not all gay, lesbian or alternative places but "mainstream" places.

So either my statement is still correct.......... or

So I guess when I look into the mirror before leaving,
I'm just not seeing the super cute 100% girl, so deff not a TS person that everybody else must be seeing when I'm out.[/SIZE]

PS: I do have to agree with one thing you said.

I tend to steer clear of places like:
Billie Bob's Biker Den and Roadhouse Chicken Shack "Home of the Hells' Angels since 1998"
But I think that is just common sense on my part

[Raquel June]

As for your opinion of me being a hypocrite, I am not trying to be rude, but it's clear you have no understanding of what the word means and so should refrain from using it.

My point is that you ARE being rude. You flew off the handle and got extremely rude because you thought someone else was being rude. That is a definitive case of hypocrisy.

Also, the need I felt to criticize the advice to dress as 'real' as possible came from the person giving the advice suggesting this was more important than dressing how you actually want to dress.

You don't even seem to remember what you're complaining about anymore. Katesback said,

"I think it is fair to say that you can dress however you wish..."

Then she somewhat sarcastically said,

"...ya might consider trying to dress like REAL women dress for the circumstances that you are in."

You see that? It doesn't get much clearer. "Dress how you want," followed by a lighthearted, "Ya might consider trying..."

Get a grip on reality already.

It also in my opinion shows how narrow minded some of the people here actually are, that they consider how others dress to be 'un-lady like' or consider it to demonstrate a lack of self respect.

Wow. So you're in total denial about the whole concept that there are ladylike and un-ladylike ways to dress?

I'm no hardcore feminist, but at this point I'm becoming offended by your opinion of what it means to be feminine and the lack of consideration you have for making a mockery of women.

As for your reply arguing the 'friendly' club probably being a gay/lesbian club, you are arguing for the sake of it, and since you are very bad at it, you should stop before you look ever sillier.

Really? You're the one suggesting that it is totally unnecessary to try to dress like a GG would at the club you're going to. If that's your mindset, you'd better stick to an very friendly gay club.

You're basically telling people to throw on a wig and a ****ty outfit from Goodwill and stroll right into TGI Friday's if they want. While I know people who do that sort of thing (I've done it myself), it's terrible advice for someone who wants to be accepted.

If you're going to tell people it's OK to dress ridiculously and be a joke, at least have the sanity to go along with the conventional wisdom that this should be kept to gay clubs where the drag queens are also dressing ridiculously and being a joke.

I'm not too offended by you saying I look silly. I wish I could say you were being silly, but you're being arrogant and naive. Do you even go out in public? If you did, I don't see how you can give such absurd advice.

Call me crazy or just lucky, but don't call me Shirley, lol.

So far I have yet to have a single problem at any bar/club I've been out to, and no, they were not all gay, lesbian or alternative places but "mainstream" places.

Do you like movies about gladiators?

Like Sandra-leigh said, I suppose it depends on your definition of accepting. I go to straight places all the time dressed like a woman, and I haven't been beat up, but I do notice the occasional whispering. I've been to some pretty redneck-ish places with some pretty obvious crossdressers, and then I've noticed some pretty mean looks. But things have never gone too badly,

I guess when I think "accepting" of crossdressers, I mean almost everybody is going to be friendly to someone who is an obvious crossdresser who may be dressed in a terrible or particularly skanky outfit.

And just because most accepting places would be considered gay clubs definitely doesn't mean all gay clubs are accepting. Although it really depends on the individuals at the club. You can run into obnoxious people anywhere.

[Lorileah]

Crossdresser club...short skirt? nah that will never fly

These clubs cater to the high heel short skirt crowd so wear what you like.

Now, you do have to get there and back home, you might consider what if's there. In the clubs I have been to (maybe 5or 6 or 10 or something) you can change in the restroom to a shorter model.