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Week 13
34) Not saying it is wrong I am just wanting to understand. Why the seeming obsession with panties? All the threads about them? I just do not get it.
35) Having to do with your CD lifestyle are you for the most part happy? If not what would make you happier?
36) Do you have bouts of depression or sadness because of CDing? Why do you think you do? What helps you? Is there anything we can do?
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Week 13
34) Not saying it is wrong I am just wanting to understand. Why the seeming obsession with panties? All the threads about them? I just do not get it.
Neither do I
35) Having to do with your CD lifestyle are you for the most part happy? Yes
36) Do you have bouts of depression or sadness because of CDing? Why do you think you do? What helps you? Is there anything we can do?
Not any more - used to be envious of women ... make-up, nails, shoes .... it made me morose. The only "cure" was .. some CD time.
Mirani - [meer-rahn-nee] Beauty to Behold; to "See" beauty
34) Not saying it is wrong I am just wanting to understand. Why the seeming obsession with panties? All the threads about them? I just do not get it.
I am not obsessed with panties. I like them much more then the ugly, boring men's briefs of boxers. But no, for me it is not an obsession. True, the feel better, look better and it does give me a reminder of my fem self when in otherwise drab mode.
35) Having to do with your CD lifestyle are you for the most part happy? If not what would make you happier?
Hmm? If I was trimmer and looked better in my clothes, I'd be happier. But that goes for male mode too. Otherwise I am very happy. I have a loving, accepting and understanding SO that loves me in either mode.
36) Do you have bouts of depression or sadness because of CDing? Why do you think you do? What helps you? Is there anything we can do?
I'm sure if I think back, I might have. But now I have no depression or sadness due to my CDing.
I am single and mentally unstable at times, but I will take a shot at this batch...
34) Answer..the initial stages of "paraphilias" specifically fetish issues...often begin with the attachment to some inanimate object, which becomes a central and compelling object that continues in many areas of later life for that person.
Panties are one of the easily accessable items at any age, particularly for a young person living with parents. (exploring mom's or sister's drawers, etc). One reason you find nylons, bras, panties to be a common compulsive desire for so many.
35) Answer...Yes I have always been a happy human. I am eccentric but I am optimistic and rarely push the "Drama" button in life.
http://www.dramabutton.com/
Happiness is a personal choice, just like many of the other emotional doors in life. CDing for me is not job, it is an adventure!...lol
36) Answer...Nope, no mental mysteries for me. It has always been another toy in the toybox.
Depression is just anger without enthusiasm in my book. Sadness, lonliness and other despair are not products of our experience or circumstance, they are holes we elect to dig with our own shovels...called attitude. I do not believe I have ever experienced "depression" "lonliness" or "boredom".
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
34) Not saying it is wrong I am just wanting to understand. Why the seeming obsession with panties? All the threads about them? I just do not get it. No obsession with panties it is just normal ware for me.
35) Having to do with your CD lifestyle are you for the most part happy? If not what would make you happier? Yes very happy the only thing that would make me happier would be a special someone to share it with
36) Do you have bouts of depression or sadness because of CDing? Why do you think you do? What helps you? Is there anything we can do? Getting all dolled up takes care of any sadness i may be feeling, Yes find me a understanding GG who would push my limits.
Mistybtm
Remember it is the one of the first article of women's clothing that we try on and wear. It becomes a big deal because it was the first. It is the one item of women's clothing that we can wear everyday and nobody will ever know. To GG's it seems rather silly since they have worn them since getting out of diapers, but we haven't. It does diminish in importance after a while. I don't even think of them anymore.Originally Posted by Di
Going through a divorce doesn't cause much happiness, but the freedom to do as you want is better. Since cd'ing isn't the biggest thing in my life, I can say that it helps to provide relaxation from the stresses of my job. But it causes it own level of stresses until you meet someone who knows and accepts you the way you are.
Depression is a feeling triggered by being alone. The cd'ers who have accepting wives are very lucky. Usually the only thing that helps me is to talk to someone which leaves me very people to talk with. I think the hardest part of being TG is that you can't tell most people which isolates you from the rest of the folks.
Michelle
34) Not saying it is wrong I am just wanting to understand. Why the seeming obsession with panties? All the threads about them? I just do not get it.
Boys for one reason or another are obsessed with panties so why should we be any different?Honestly, I don't understand all the threads myself. But really, girls get a little over the top about them too. Several GGs in my family have literally hundreds of panties in their dressers. And like me, many wear them 24/7 so it is something we can relate to every day.
35) Having to do with your CD lifestyle are you for the most part happy? If not what would make you happier?
I am about 75% happy, which isn't bad. If I had more time and money to spend on Sally that would be better. It seems like work and family suck away most of my time and sometimes it just makes me angry that I don't have time for me! As always, if I could afford a few minor procedures that would make me look prettier that too would make me happier.
36) Do you have bouts of depression or sadness because of CDing? Why do you think you do? What helps you? Is there anything we can do?
I think many of us suffer thru this. Some is just your middle aged woman seeing girls younger and prettier than her. We all realize we're not in our 20's anymore and each day adds a few more wrinkles. Then there is the whole struggle to maintain a balance in your life that you and your family can live with. I find that at this stage, I have to get dressed at least once every few weeks or I get very uneasy. Probably the thing that makes me feel the most calm and comfortable is going out with my wife and/or daughter for a day of shopping, lunching and maybe a movie or something. It's relaxing, there is no pressure (as I pass much better surrounded by GGs) and we just have a normal girls day out. I do have a problem after one of those days when I have to take the wig and makeup off and change back into male mode. Sometimes I stall and do computer work for a couple of hours. Other times I'm on the verge of tears while I clean up.
Making more girl time for us and then just acting like we're another one of the girls can help. Other times, just let us cry and understand it's not your fault.
Sally
34) No fascination with panties here, but, had you asked about bras I might have a different answer.
35) I am unsatisfied with my CD life because I do not get to explore it often enough.
36) Depressed would not be a word that I would use. It is troubling, however, to have a duality of personality in which half of it must be hidden from those that love us because of the fear that they may not love us were they to learn of that other side.
34. I guess the obsession is that next to the bra is is one of the most femenine garmets. It is one of the few garmets we can wear where no one can notice it, unless we desire it to be noticed. For me the cut fits better than male underwear, and of course the different materals are so much fun to wear.
35. I wish my wife was more accepting of my desires. I can only wear panties and night gowns. I'd love to dress and go out.
36. I've never had any depression issues.
Dana Fleming
When I was growing up (60's & 70's) the greatest desire myself and all the other boys had was to catch a glimpse of a girls' panties under her dress. It was an obsession we had. Fortunately for us, mini-skirts were popular.
So, I associated panties with feminism and eventually I started wearing them because I wanted to get as close to femininity as I could.
I admit to having a serious panty fetish to this day. I don't look at or watch porn (I think most of it demeans women), but I do enjoy viewing pictures of women modeling panties (Hanes is my favorite). I love the way the panties hug her body and still allow me full view of her curves.
Not happy at all. I would like for my wife to be accepting. She is not and never will be. Because I don't want to endanger our relationship, I don't dress up at all, but I do underdress on occasion we she's not around.
Yes, depression and sadness, because I would like to share this side of myself with my wife. I have to hold it in and can't let it out. Reading the forums on CD.com acts as a surrogate for me. I'm able to "live" through the people here and the understanding of so many GG's helps me feel better about myself.
34) Not saying it is wrong I am just wanting to understand. Why the seeming obsession with panties? All the threads about them? I just do not get it.
I never really post in those threads, but I am pretty hooked on panties. I'm approaching the point where they'll be the only underwear I wear. The reason for the threads though I think is because they're the easiest thing to wear of women's clothing and not get read at all. Unless you've got lace or an incriminating brand name sticking out of your waistband, you can wear panties as a guy to your hearts galore and have people be none the wiser.
Another thing to consider is that you GGs talk about your underwear amongst yourselves a lot too, or at least most of the ones I've ever met do. Girls go shopping together at Victoria's Secret, and then carry their pink striped bags around the mall displaying what they just bought. They have lingerie parties, meaning purchasing parties in the vein of tupperware parties, not talking about male fantasies of sorority bedrooms of course. And if you look at the marketing for name brands of panties, like VS's PINK line or Frederick's Naughty Knickers, or AE's Aerie lines, they blatantly make a point of selling how fun and flirty and cute panties are, trying to sell the idea that wearing them makes you feel that much cuter or sexier. Now for those of us who are pretty out with it, we can talk to our friends about it the same way GGs can, but to the many on here who aren't open to anyone, the panty threads are the closest thing they can get to the "Oh my god, I got the cutest underwear the other day..." conversations. Most of them probably don't realize how excessive the threads can get because they're not really thinking of each previous thread when they answer a new one, they're just going "oh, fun!"
35) Having to do with your CD lifestyle are you for the most part happy? If not what would make you happier?
I'm pretty happy with it, especially since coming out. The only thing that would make me happier is just more acceptance of it from the general public.
36) Do you have bouts of depression or sadness because of CDing? Why do you think you do? What helps you? Is there anything we can do?
Not like I did before I came out. The only thing that occasionally bums me out now is worrying how it will affect me with finding an SO in the future. I dated a girl in Columbus shortly after coming out and she was pretty cool with it, it wasn't something she was "into" per se but it also didn't bother her at all so she was willing to go out with me while I wore skirts and also didn't mind that I wore women's underwear. I broke things off because I moved to LA but I worry sometimes that she may have been the needle in the haystack and that most girls won't give it a chance.
Last edited by JiveTurkeyOnRye; 07-13-2010 at 10:23 AM. Reason: The original color was hard on the eyes
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We have more questions from our GG's thanks for joining in everyone!
Week 13
34) Not saying it is wrong I am just wanting to understand. Why the seeming obsession with panties? All the threads about them? I just do not get it.
35) Having to do with your CD lifestyle are you for the most part happy? If not what would make you happier?
36) Do you have bouts of depression or sadness because of CDing? Why do you think you do? What helps you? Is there anything we can do?
I think the obsession with any particular item of clothing speaks to immaturity on the part of those obsessed. Nothing more dreary, to me, than meeting a "newbie" CDer out on the town who just can't get over their thrill with their undies. TMI.
Best cure for that - go buy a couple of dozen pairs, wear them, and get on with life. After pretreating for stains and folding the (never ending) laundry a few hundred times, coming across another pair of panties isn't that big a deal.
No, no bouts of depression or sadness. A bit cranky sometimes, about having plans, or, wanting to have plans, and having those thoughts upset. But, that happens in life with everything - you set down to watch some TV show and the phone rings....
So, accept such things as part of life - because it is. Celebrate the victories that you have and try to have more wins than losses as you go about each week.
I think my CD lifestyle is just fine. I'd be happier if people could just see it as "something some people do" and leave things at that. But, nearly everyone wants to talk, talk, talk about "the problem," or, "the issues" too much. Talk about something else!
No cure for some of that - people will be people. But, I think that explains why a lot of people get "out and about" for a while and then wind up staying at home more than they thought they would.
CDs are just like everybody else...
When it's all said and done, "There's no place like home."
If the GG's want a "normal life" with their CDer, set some time and space aside for the CDer to do what they (think they) want to do and trust that they'll get things figured out so that the rest of life can go on smoothly.
It's like hunting, fishing, and football. You don't have to understand why they do it, just that they do - and will.
No harm in getting along as long as it makes them (and eventually you) happy(ier).
Week 13
34) Not saying it is wrong I am just wanting to understand. Why the seeming obsession with panties? All the threads about them? I just do not get it.
Okay, I'll try to add something to the discussion. I'm not obsessed, but I do like my panties. Panties and not just "underwear". They have their own special girly name and although you can find them in cotton, I would guess most CD's prefer the nylon materials for the texture. Panties come in colors, something less common in mens underwear until recently, but then most of that is in boxers (another reference to a male-dominated activity). Panties can have lace on them, fit in a decidedly different way than men's underwear and can easily be hidden and during that early exploratory stage they can easily be "borrowed". Panties; a gateway to crossdressing! Am I wearing them now? You can't tell and neither will I.
35) Having to do with your CD lifestyle are you for the most part happy? If not what would make you happier?
My first step toward being happy with my crossdressing came when I found out I wasn't the only one around. Not being alone in the world can be a great relief. The next step toward that goal of happiness came after my wife became aware and has accepted this as part of my life. Getting involved with a Tri-Ess support group has helped as well. My vision keeps expanding and now I'm looking for ways to change community expectations, but I have been advised by my wife that it's not a bad idea to go slow on that while we work out family issues first. That's fine, I've come a long way.
36) Do you have bouts of depression or sadness because of CDing? Why do you think you do? What helps you? Is there anything we can do?
Not any longer. Not being alone in the world has helped. I do get a little frustrated when I can't take some time for my crossdressing occasionally. I don't need it all the time, but I do much better when I can get dressed a couple times a week. I do have a hard time getting my wife to talk about my crossdressing interests because it's less important now than grandkids, her elderly parents or planning for the next family party. I understand and come here to get that discussion.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
Not anymore, back before I came out to my wife, and tried to suppress the desire to dress, I did, and with that came resentment, and anger. Coming out to the wife, and her acceptance was the cure for the depression. That and being able to dress when ever I feel the need or desire to.
#34. That is an interesting question and answers could be far ranging. I think for the most part, due to advertising, etc., males see woman's panties as a form of expression of femminity and sexiness. The styles, shapes, colors and feeling are different than what most males wear and wearing female panties creates a feeling or illusion of being somewhat female at the time. I find myself selecting my daily choice of style, material and color based upon my mood at the time. This is instead of simply reaching into a drawer and grabbing whatever I come up with.
#35. Yes, I'm happy with myself. I have reached a balance point in my desires to dress and with my wife's acceptance.
#36. Not at all.
34) Not saying it is wrong I am just wanting to understand. Why the seeming obsession with panties? All the threads about them? I just do not get it.
Not a firm clue. My guess is that panties are the first item of underdressing and, effectively, the entry port for many to their femininity.
35) Having to do with your CD lifestyle are you for the most part happy? If not what would make you happier? I'm generally delighted, with the one exception that my life is just darned full and Tina doesn't get as much time as we would like for her exploration of her femininity.
36) Do you have bouts of depression or sadness because of CDing? Why do you think you do? What helps you? Is there anything we can do? There has not been a negative side to CDing for me, and I sure pray it stays that way!
tina
It is the most intimate piece of clothing a woman wears. It is what is closest to her (and I am sure bra threads run a close second). It is also something that women wear to look pretty and feel pretty to their partner. Guys underwear is rarely made to stimulate the partner, but many women's panties serve no more purpose than just that. There are embellishments of lace and bows and patterns. It is in integral part of pornography for males and has been for well forever. One of the first sexual encounters a boy has is trying to see a girl's panties. Not what lies beneath but the material. As Cd's we cannot have anatomy that mimics a female and panties help cover that. Now, since the question was asked of the TGs here as to why panties are so important...think why do they offer them to women and why do women buy them? Honestly, if the visual stimulation women have with panties were no important to them, would every woman wear white plain cotton? So, part of the answer is women wear pretty underwear, why can't we?
34) Not saying it is wrong I am just wanting to understand. Why the seeming obsession with panties? All the threads about them? I just do not get it.
Yes I am happy with who I am now. It took awhile. What could make me happier? If the world would develop a more open mind about crossdressing and quit cubby holing us as freaks and perverts. It is just clothes.35) Having to do with your CD lifestyle are you for the most part happy? If not what would make you happier?
Yes sometimes. Anger takes over when I think about the fact I am a "normal" person but a high percentage think I am not? I don't steal, I am an honest caring person, I am helpful and I care about things. It does not matter what I wear. It took me a long time to realize that I am a good person, always have been and if I am in a skirt or chinos or jeans, that does not change. Now my bouts of depression are from other sources and changing clothes helps relieve it.36) Do you have bouts of depression or sadness because of CDing? Why do you think you do? What helps you? Is there anything we can do?
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
34. The obsession, I think, is more lingerie based. Panties are just one of the more common items. CD's haven't had the lifetime of wearing them like the GG's, so we like to enjoy the moment. If we wore them all the time, the shine might wear off the idea.
35. I am happy where I am at, although it takes time to find your groove. My SO is accepting and I try to limit my girlie time so we can both be happy with things. As a result she got me burlesque lessons we go to together and we are renewing our vows in a role reversal wedding. It's hard to not be happy with that.
36. There were times early on when I was new to the whole thing but in time there was no depression or guilt and more acceptance from me. That makes thing easier, I think, for others to accept.
Rebecca Bas
Di I love these threads keep them coming. Seeing a new one on here is like opening the mailbox and finding the latest VS catalog.
Speaking of the latest Victoria Secret Catalouge....for me it more an issue of comfort and feel. My underwear drawer is a hodgepodge of mens and womens underwear. The amazing thing is you really can't tell the difference between most of them because I choose them for there material and cut. I despise straight cotton drawers and love spandex and Lycra undies. I have always found the cut of boy shorts (ironic isn't it) and bikini's much more comfy.
My biggest fault is I am never satisfied. There is always something more in life. I am happy with where I am at concerning my transgenderism. I have a life many on this site dream about. I'm blessed with a beautiful wife that supports me even though she hates it and the opportunity to move about in the world en femme every so often. Its a pretty good balance. I would love to be out to everyone and run around singing "I gotta be me" in my finest frillies whenever I would like. Unfortunately, that would come at to high a cost.
I wrestle with depression big time. I am not sure its all because of my transgenderism. I think it has to do more with living a life in which I have felt that I never measured up. The skinny effeminate kid grew up, but the sad feelings that come with not belonging never have gone away. I feel like I am letting others down and the energy drains from my body and the negative thoughts take over. I am not sure what helps. The depression seems to fade away and soon I am back in my normal routine again. I wish I could tell you something to help, but I think about the only thing I could say is realize that it is an internal fight with ourselves and not you. Don't get frustrated with us. A peck on the cheek and an I love you is the best remedy.
Last edited by SuzanneBender; 07-13-2010 at 12:45 PM.
See yourself as a soul with a body not a body with a soul" Dr. Wayne Dyer
Me either.
No.
Not CDing makes me happier. So now I don't. I transitioned instead. I'm so much happier now
See above. I used to be depressed about it. For 25 Years. I had these bouts because I forced myself to believe I was a CD type person for a long time, despite knowing otherwise for an even longer time. I'm not depressed anymore. Sad about being separated from my soul mate, but not depressed.
Sarah x
34) Not saying it is wrong I am just wanting to understand. Why the seeming obsession with panties? All the threads about them? I just do not get it.
I don't get it, either. Now, BRAS, on the other hand... :-) For me, there's one particular item of clothing that most conveys femininity, and that's a bra. For others, it seems to be panties. But wearing that one item makes my brain switch over like nothing else can.
35) Having to do with your CD lifestyle are you for the most part happy? If not what would make you happier?
Yes, for the most part, happy. I keep it to myself because I've seen several important signs over the years that my wife would not be comfortable at all with it. What would make me happiest is if I could tell her and she would enjoy that part of me. Don't want to go full time, don't want to even go part time, and don't want to out dressed with her. But I would really enjoy shopping with her, and getting her help/feedback on styles/makeup/hair, etc. Heaven would be to have my wife say "I'm going shopping at the mall. Why don't you come along and lets get you a new [insert female clothing article here]."
36) Do you have bouts of depression or sadness because of CDing? Why do you think you do? What helps you? Is there anything we can do?
Yes, bouts of depression, but not due to CDing. Due to all the male stuff like job worries, money worries, etc.
I don't get it myself, and I CD. I guess it's my boy side talking when he says, "You know, you have to wear SOME form of underwear, or your junk is going to be showing!" He can be so crude sometimes
I'm actually quite happy with my life right now! Anything that doesn't make me happy is typically non-CDing related.
Nope. Not at all.
Week 13
34) Not saying it is wrong I am just wanting to understand. Why the seeming obsession with panties? All the threads about them? I just do not get it.
I do not think that I am "obssesed" with wearing panties. I wear them for several reasons: they are pretty; they are comfortable; they take up less room in a suitcase and they are easier to wash out and dry when traveling.
35) Having to do with your CD lifestyle are you for the most part happy? If not what would make you happier?
I am, for the most part happy with my CD "lifestyle". One thing that would make me happier would be if CDing were generally
accepted as being OK by society.
36) Do you have bouts of depression or sadness because of CDing? Why do you think you do? What helps you? Is there anything we can do?
I do not have bouts of depression. I am often "sad" for a short time when I have to go back to my male "mode".
As to what you can do - help educate those around you about the "truths" re: CD.
__________________
Last edited by carhill2mn; 07-13-2010 at 04:03 PM.
Hugs, Carole
34- You and me both!
35- I am reasonably happy these days regarding my CDing. Self acceptance does that. Anything that would make life better is external. I s'pose there's a few things that would make me happier, but all fall under the roof with "Don't feel bad you had to borrow my mascara!"
36- Can't say I've been depressed. I get edgy and wistful if things go too long for whatever reason.
34) Not saying it is wrong I am just wanting to understand. Why the seeming obsession with panties? All the threads about them? I just do not get it.
I don't think I am obsessed with panties, I just prefer them over mens brief swhich are more like diapers than underwear. panties = better colors , fabrics, fit, and feel.
35) Having to do with your CD lifestyle are you for the most part happy? If not what would make you happier?
I wont say that I am unhappy but I could be happier if I were closer to a support group or if there was a place where I could go just to hang out while dressed other than the Mall.
36) Do you have bouts of depression or sadness because of CDing? Why do you think you do? What helps you? Is there
CDing helps to relive the stresses of life that can lead to depression.
The only reason I have felt sad about CDing is when I have plans get dressed up and some thing causes them to fall through.
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