Is crossdressing socially acceptable to you?

[mklinden2010]

I have been wondering how many people on these forums actually think crossdressing is socially acceptable - to themselves?

Twenty plus years ago, while single, I couldn't see why I couldn't crossdress in public if I wanted to so I simply walked out the door. I still recall the shocked looks on people's faces at the first convenience store I happened to go into. They looked at each other for clues about what to do and I gave them what they needed to know by just being a customer, "Where's the beer in here?"

About five years later I was living a busy married life with my wife and it occurred to me that I wanted some crossdressed time on the town again and asked my wife about setting up some times to go do things. She didn't want to be hassled with it during the work week and said, "If you can find someplace to go, just tell me when and I'll find something I can do on my own while you're out." By then the Internet had caught on and it took like five seconds to find a "CD Support Group" meeting to go to. Ahhhh, people!

Support groups, of course, are heavily used as "an excuse and a place to dress up and go to" so I wasn't too surprised that the group was split between dedicated support group leaders, old timers, and, well, basket cases... The group leaders managed the serious part of the meeting time, the old timers tried to sit still for the hour, and the basket cases either sat in frozen silence, talked about, "this is so weird for me 101," or, cried.

The real value of the meetings were going for coffee afterwards. By then, everyone had gotten over being helpful, bored, or, worried. Now it was just a bunch of people talking, trading stories and business cards, and, trying to make plans to go bowling or meet for lunch on "third Thursdays." I go to some of the same places now that we went to then - Starbucks, restaurants, and theaters and think about that crowd of CDers that had been there on some night or afternoon in the past as part of that first group. The people and the buildings look and sound the same... The world seems just fine.

So, I'm fine being who I am and I'm fine with most other people crossdressing, or, having tatoos, or, being in different political parties. As long as they make no more noise, spill as little or less of their drinks, and, give others the space to be who they are... I really don't pay much attention.

So, how many people reading these words are fine with crossdressing, their crossdressing, and, other people crossdressing?

It is, "OK" to you, as you read this, or, does CDing still seem somehow "wrong" to you?

[sandra-leigh]

It may perhaps have bothered me at some time in the past, but now that I have been doing it myself for about 6 years, it is hard to bring that time to mind.

However, there are some forms of cross-dressing I'm still not comfortable with, such as Little Girl. I am not saying that such things are "wrong", just that I am (probably) human and have limits on my comfort zones.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I'll admit that my experiences going out crossdressed probably vary greatly from those of most on here, though I have gone out in total femme mode too. For me, I can't deny that when I'm out in skirts or other women's clothes, that what I'm doing is at least for most people considered "weird."

But like you in the convenience store, I try to make it a point to send out signals that even though I am dressed unusually, I'm otherwise just a person out and about.

For me there's a difference between "weird" and "bad" or "unacceptable." Pretty much anyone who ever made a difference in the world was weird in one way or another, so I definitely find it acceptable to be weird.

I posted recently about a TG lady who comes into my store, and is way over the top with her movements and her personality and basically seems to go out of her way to be off-putting and rude. I find this unacceptable regardless of how anyone dresses.

On a side note, I think your "coffee afterwards" comments were a really valid point for why CDers *should* be getting out into the world. Support group meetings or designated "girl's" nights at specific clubs are great for getting the courage to go out initially, but eventually it does feel sort of like "ok, we're all crossdressers, now what?" Where as when you finally go out into the real world, You're really just being yourself and happen to be dressed the way you want. And every time that happens and the world doesn't come crumbling down is good for the crossdressers and good for those who don't normally experience us.

[NathalieX66]

Ooh, I love these existential questions.

I am happy that I have defined myself on my own terms. I refuse to be herded into the slaughterhouse like cattle.
I try to find as many outets as I can to express myself. I hear what you say about support groups, but in essence they are meant to get you on your way....which ever direction that may be.

I'm coming to a point in my life that I am so sick of authority, and views coming from the uneducated status quo, particularly hearing from people who "speculate" based on their own personal fear, and have no collective experience either as a witness or a participant.

[Kate Simmons]

Society as a whole will never accept someone being who they are really not and trying to get others to believe it. It's more about being comfortable as who you are as your own person.

[TinaMc]

I really hate myself for feeling the way I do, but it does sometimes seem a bit wrong to me. I was actually thinking about this today. I have come a long way in terms of self acceptance but there's this niggling doubt that I'm "not doing life properly" or something along those lines. I've only very recently accepted this unusual side of me and I feel heaps better within myself for doing that, but the old self doubt creeps in every now and then. The strange thing is I do appreciate diversity and believe in each to their own, always have, so I can't really pinpoint where these feelings originate...

Oh well, I'm over it now, might go try to master my make up technique

[mklinden2010]

Society as a whole will never accept someone being who they are really not and trying to get others to believe it. It's more about being comfortable as who you are as your own person.

D,

The question is not about what society accepts; it's about what you accept, or, not...

Society as a whole, is a hole. Things can be argued over that huge open space forever and there will probably always be somebody who will take a contrary view to everyone else. That may be good, that may be bad. The point is, unanimity is so rare a thing as to be an unreasonable goal.


The current question is not meant as a poll of everyone else, it's meant as a simple, "How do YOU feel about crossdressing?" question.

I'm just asking each crossdresser reading these words to think about how THEY feel about crossdressing - their own, and, perhaps the crossdressing of others.

Are you personally good with crossdressing, ashamed of crossdressing, confused about crossdressing, or, what?

[kimdl93]

Good question. I like to pride myself in being open minded, but if I really am honest with myself, despite an understanding spouse, I have to admit that I'm not really "OK" with myself sufficiently to be "out" in the fullest sense. I guess I have reached a point where I am comfortable within narrow parameters... in my own home, but without acknowledging this to my kids or extended family.

[suzy1]

Why do some here think crossdressing is wrong? Because society says it is. And they listen and believe it.
In reality, anything we do, as long as it does not hurt anyone, can not be wrong can it?
As for me, I’m an atheist so no problems with religious beliefs. I am also a realist and free thinker so I am not affected by society. So I have never had a problem with crossdressing. The result, a guilt free happy life.
CDing is not wrong; it’s an extra pleasure in life that we have been gifted with. Let’s enjoy it.

Have fun, SUZY

[carrie-ann]

Being 247 for over a year now. I get all streams. I would say about 75% of the pros I meet don't care one way or the other. I'm a truck driver I go all over the U.S. I have only had one person that really was upset to tje point tjat said I should be dead. I confronted him head on about his comments. Most people don't care they say ,but they don't want to see it. In the end It's about your feelings. If your married It's about all.of you.

[mklinden2010]

Why do some here think crossdressing is wrong? Because society says it is. And they listen and believe it.
In reality, anything we do, as long as it does not hurt anyone, can not be wrong can it?
As for me, I’m an atheist so no problems with religious beliefs. I am also a realist and free thinker so I am not affected by society. So I have never had a problem with crossdressing. The result, a guilt free happy life.
CDing is not wrong; it’s an extra pleasure in life that we have been gifted with. Let’s enjoy it.

Have fun, SUZY

S,

Your opening declaration is primarily about other people; it's not entirely about how you feel about yourself and crossdressing around you - though you seem to offer that that particular group is, "hung up."

As far as that goes, I can attest that you seem correct to that extent: some people do seem to get programmed into, "How the world is, should be, or ought to be..." and they struggle with how their lives are different from, "is, should, or, ought."

It is difficult, however, to argue that because what you do doesn't seem to be doing any harm, that it isn't...


CDing, in your view is an "extra" in life, a plus, a pleasure to be enjoyed where and how it is..

Thanks for that.

It will be interesting to see what other crossdresser's think of their own crossdressing - as well as yours and mine.

[Starling]

From an early age I accepted the idea of CD and TS, but until a few years ago, I was embarrassed when I encountered crossdressers in public. I'm sure now that I was ashamed for them, because I was ashamed of me. I feared that if I was friendly to them I would be outed, myself.

Since I learned to accept myself, thanks to the wonderful community here, I have a new outlook on how I feel about others too, and am able to engage a CD person like anyone else. It's the Golden Rule, y'know.

For some reason, I never had a problem with TS men or women (whose status I was aware of). Something to discuss with my shrink.

Lallie

[Nicole Erin]

CD'ing is not something I find socailly acceptable. I will not tolerate it. I command each CD/TS to stop tranny'ing right now!

OK onto seriousness - how a TG gonna have a problem with another TG? OK granted some of them have horrid taste in clothing, like crap their crazy ol granny would not wear cause it is so out of date but come on... A CD/TS can't really judge. The closet ones ain't got room to talk and the "out" ones surely know what everyone done been thru.


My stance - I don't give two poopily doopilies if someone wants to wear clothes of the opposite gender. If I did have a problem, I would lay naked in front of the entrance of the local TG group holding a sign that said "Down with pants!"

[Bridget1]

Honestly, I think everyone has the right to choose their sexuality, fetishes, kinks in their personality etc etc... As long as we exist as a human race somebody will share your fetish, or sexual preferences. Of course its acceptable, the USA is a free country, so is the UK and many other places across the world!

Dont you think the world would be a much better place if Crossdressers, Transgenders, Gay's, Lesbians, Black People, White People, Asian People, Jews, Muslims, Sikhs and Christians etc etc etc... acepted each other?






I do.

[kayegirl]

Is cross dressing socially acceptable to me,, without a doubt YES. Do I worry about what other people might think, well not any more, although it did until fairly recently, but the very positive reactions from the many to whom I have been outed of late has been nothing less than heartening.

[joandher]

I don't think that cross dressers/transgendered people really have a choice, -i.e. of being one of the majority ( of so called normal ) people,from what I have researched c/ders are born that way, and I for one feel very privileged to be one, and able to see,and experience both sides of the coin as and when I feel like it, I think life would be very dull if I couldn't dress, how and when I like



J-JAY

[Kaz]

You know one of the really great things about being old is that you have seen what has gone before. When I was a bright-eyed teenager, I went to the Kings Road, London... I am a Yorkie, so not my patch!... bought a satin high waisted jacket, big heels, velvet flared "slacks", lots of things on my wrists... and it was great! I also had long hair, played
guitar, et... Was I accepted? By society in general...no! I was one of a new wave of youth who were stretching boundaries... we kicked ass and it was good!

So now... I am worried about wanting to dress in feminine clothing? That was 30+ years ago... now, yeah I am, the world has moved on...but... I am also older, and my mindset has changed. The younger kids are less bothered about all this...

But... there is a difference between adopting "fashion" and wanting to "feel" or "pass" as female... and then we are into the great "assemblage" of CD...

So.. to the question... NO... I welcome it and embrace it with open arms. I... may feel uncomfortable about expressing things, but I embrace everyone else doing it! And when it becomes a norm... I will be happy... should I help the vanguard and get involved... is something I am struggling with...

Kaz xx

[sissystephanie]

I am a Crossdresser! I know it and I accept it. In fact, I really like putting on panties, bra, a skirt and top and going out in public. I do it virtually every day!! One might notice that I did not say anything about fixing my wig or getting my makeup on! That is because I no longer do either of those things. My late wife did both of the for me when she was alive. She passed away 5 years ago, and since then I have become a man who wears woman's clothing frequently. My family knows, and doesn't care so long as I don't dress around them!

What I choose to wear is my business, not anybody else's. What other people choose to wear is their business! I do not like to see CD's dressed as Drag Queens, or such. It hurts the image of all of us who are CD's. But it is their business what they wear, not mine!

BTW, I have been a Crossdresser for approximastely 70+ years so I do have some experience!

[ReineD]

I'm like you. I don't get why people get upset with homosexuality, transsexuality, and crossdressing. Or why some members of religious groups don't like other religions. Or why some members of ethnic groups don't like other races or nationalities. Or why there should be a bias against mental illnesses, addictions, or compulsions, as long as they are under control. I do understand why the political left doesn't like the political right's ideals though.

It doesn't mean I don't pigeon-hole people when I meet them. I'm constantly making up stories about people and where they fit, usually based on how they look, lol, and I'm sometimes surprised when who they are doesn't match my preconceived ideas. But this is not a judgment or a put down. Just me making sense of my world.

[Fab Karen]

... Where as when you finally go out into the real world, You're really just being yourself and happen to be dressed the way you want. And every time that happens and the world doesn't come crumbling down is good for the crossdressers and good for those who don't normally experience us.

Which is at least 99.999 percent of the time. Life is for living.

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm fine with it.

I generally ignore how other people are dressed, attempting to focus on their behavior, and would like them to do the same. I don't see a problem with my crossdressing nor with others wearing clothing normally associated with the other gender. It might be nice if that attitude were more common or even (dare I say it?), encouraged.

[FindingMe]

I don't really think it's too much about being social acceptable, I mean I've been known to deliberately flirt or show of my feminine side, just to embarrass some of the more conservative acquaintances I've made.

But ultimately I'm not a very outgoing person, and keep myself out of the limelight, so I wouldn't go out in public cross dressed, but sitting around in public with my hair plated and pink finger nails, doesn't bother me at all.

[Alice B]

I'm fine with it. After all - I'm a cross dresser. If I wasn't fine with it I'd be a total mess.

[Lexine]

When I pursued CDing, I knew exactly what it was to me and what it would be for other people. I generally don't pursue something without first thinking of how others would see it as, and I approach it in a manner where I can figure out how I'd explain why I decided to do what I do to people who are close to me.

So in a manner of speaking, the answer is "Yes!"

[mklinden2010]

I don't think that cross dressers/transgendered people really have a choice, -i.e. of being one of the majority ( of so called normal ) people,from what I have researched c/ders are born that way, and I for one feel very privileged to be one, and able to see,and experience both sides of the coin as and when I feel like it, I think life would be very dull if I couldn't dress, how and when I like



J-JAY

J-Jay,

I am reminded, in the "no choice" part here, that everyone is born with "potential" to do and be many things, not necessarily just one thing.

There may be some people who are born CD, but that's hard to imagine. More likely to CD..., I suppose that's possible. In general, however, I think the "potential" notion, to do and be anything, gets one the farthest with explaining CDing. Most of us have some experience with CDing early in life, and it stays with us after that and we seem to "add" meaning to it as we go along.

Today's comments in various posts allude to it beginning young, before any thought of sex at all - of any sort, yet after the onset of puberty the behavior is usually incorporated into our sex lives... Later that "motivation" dims and "a side" of our being more fully develops that we hadn't really thought to create, it just seems to follow from the experiences we've collected.

About that time the major stresses in our CDing/normal lives seem to occur - this need to be "who we have become" butts up against the knowledge that, "This is not normal." It takes a bit of knowledge to realize that normal is a statistical norm, not a person named Norm, and that everyone, you and I included, fall somewhere on the bell curve on any graph of any activity.

A lot of us seem to get past this stress by accepting ourselves as whatever we are - and then continuing with life with less stress, worry, or, concern about CDing, or, for that matter, normality for ourselves or anyone else. Acceptance of self very often leads to acceptance of others. Live and let live.

I have a friend who fishes in the morning before going to work, fishes in the evening after work, and spends most his weekends fishing somewhere.

He wife says, "Yeah, that's what he does."

It's normal for him.

Most of the rest of us find all that a bit fishy...

Neither he nor she cares what we think, however.

And, that's OK, isn't it?