Hating myself

[abigail43]

I don't like myself this afternoon because it's seems like the more feminine I try to be the more masculine I seem to be and I hate myself , I guess I will just have to keep working at it ,it is just that the more I try the less I see it . I so much want to be feminine the evaluation for HRT can't come quick enough .

I am so glad for this forum it helps me to be able to express myself and to talk of my frustrations. Thank you girls for being there .

Don't you hate it when you have spent a couple of hours on your make up and looks only to be seen as a man still by sales people and others who need to make a point in looking to hard.

[AmberDay]

I'm not as far as you in the process; I have no schedules HRT apointments and I don't go out in public, but I am trans. (don't know how far I'm willing to go with it) I kinda know what it is like to work for hours on picking the right outfit with the right shows and jewelry, shaving every spot that would be visable, doing a long delicate job putting on my makeup, doing my nails, fixing up my wig just to look in the mirror and STILL see a guy.

[SarahLynn]

There are many gg's who go through the same process only to find they have not achieved the look they were after. Do not be defeated, this is one day in your life. There will be more days, and more days when it all comes together for you. Of coarse that is a half full glass but you don't have to see yourself as beautifull when others around you do. I look in the mirror and see the same ugly mug i've seen for the last 60 years, others look and see a handsome man. When i dress i seel a sometimes pretty lady but then there are days i only see a man in a dress.* It happens to all of us.

SarahLynn

*(NOT, i don't wear dresses cuz i don't look good in them, but you get the idea)

[Shelly Preston]

I think we all get days like that sometimes

Yes it can be very frustrating but its not always how others see us. We have been known to be overly critical of ourselves.

[Chari]

Most of us on this confusing gender scale have had "down moments" too. Relax - go slowly! Try to feel the feminine side from within you. Recall those pleasent moments that you felt so very feminine in looks and attitude. Enjoy each day by doing just one feminine thing for yourself! There is always tomarrow to try again.

[DonniDarkness]

femme has very little to do with outward appearances, i think that should be a step for you now. i have days where i feel gross too. Try to remember that femininity is a state of being, not how you appear in the mirror.

Also, if you cant love and accept yourself, you wont be able to love and accept others.

Chin up, shoulders back and put some bass in your walk.

-Donni-