Can someone please explain ...

[ReineD]

... clothing fetishes? What do they mean to you? How important are they in your lives? How did they start? What is it about the particular piece of clothing that makes it so exciting, almost more exciting than a SO? How much of it is tied to your femme identities and how much is just worshipping the item for the item's sake?

Honestly I don't want to single out anyone, but there's a thread about stockings going on right now that I'm using as an example. There have been other threads about different types of clothing ... lingerie, skirts, suits, sweaters, boots, it doesn't matter which.

When I read the threads it sounds as if the item in question is one of the most important things in the world. How does this happen, and how is it possible to love a SO equally as much, when it sounds as if nothing can compare to the excitement of wearing whatever item floats your boats?

I know that not everyone in this forum feels this way about specific items of clothing, but there seem to be an awful lot that do and I'm just trying to understand.

Thank you all for your replies. You don't have to answer point by point, each and every one of my questions. I'd just love to hear your thoughts in your own words.

[Barbara Dugan]

Kind of the same question my therapist asked me the other day. but she was more specific to my past and present expirences with crossdressing and gender comfusion she mentioned about how the textures of some fabrics relieve the anxiety either as a child or adult or simple arouse somebody. I answered her that I never had and attachment to the feeling of textures on fabrics or clothes because I never tried to crossdress as a child, even I was aware at early age of the meaning of clothes on gender, and when I started dressing to me the clothes mean just and adjustment to find a place on the gender I feel more comfortable

[Maryesther M.]

I reckon CD-ing in general is one great big fetish. This can of course express itself in focussing on individual items of femme clothing which themselves represent a real turn-on for that individual.
Erotic feelings have a lot to do with it. For me an example would be a preference for thigh-high leather boots and seriously short minidress over, say, teeshirt and shorts, both of which are femme, but the public vibes are very different

[MarinaKirax]

Dont have one about a specific item, Reine. But there are a few things that I love to think about, and wear, and that distill all the feelings of femininity and sexuality into a single garment. Corsets, stockings, stillettos, perhaps. MK

[Lucy_Bella]

Reine,

For me my fetish started years ago when I was a little boy, I remember having the urge to wear my sisters panties and dresses at 4 years old.
When caught my parents would force me to wear them and make fun of me while I was in them, they would have me go outside around other kids and my 2 older brothers..
I soon wised up to not getting caught anymore, I have always had the fetish to resemble but no be a female. No it's not more important to me than my S.O. or children other than that I would be open about it to them ( my children) but I do have to have my girl time ( if you will ) .

If I do not let it out it will soon find way out even at my weakest ( when I am depressed or angry ) It makes me happy for the relief it sheds for some reason. I like the feel of the clothing and the fit it feels foreion , I like how it changes my appearance sometimes . In saying that I do like being a male also and how some say this is nothing new and has been around for centries .

Other than that I can not explain other than the fetish I aquired is mostly for nylon but it grew into resembleing and I hope it stops there ,so far so good.

Hope I helped

[Stephanie Miller]

You raise a very good question. (Gold star to the cute girl in front!) I think this very same thing whenever I see a panty thread. I mean really, is it really that much of a turn on to know that 45% of the girls on this forum wear pink lace thongs? Maybe it would shatter their world if the replies came back 45% men’s torn boxers.
But, then before bringing it up in a thread, I stop and think about just what most of us – me included, (just in case you were going to flame me) on this board are doing in the first place. How many have given up the lives they shared with a spouse, the kids they raised –or are raising – just so they could wear women’s clothes. There are lots of women wearing men’s clothes right now. Couldn’t they default to staying in men’s clothes, act like the women they want to, and still keep an obligation intact? So, without stealing your thread I would really like to know the answer too. Just what gives with this clothes fetish?
(Besides the fact that they look better and are more comfortable than mens )

[Kathi Lake]

I don't think my wearing of women's clothes is at all fetishistic. I don't worship my bra. I just use it to hold my breast forms in place. I don't think much about my underwear. I just want something that isn't going to show a panty line under my tighter-fitting skirts. My shoes? I think they're cute, but not in a sexual way.

For me, there is no fetish or fetishistic tendencies with what I wear. They're just clothes. Maybe that makes me the odd one (like that's news to anyone).



Kathi

[ReineD]

So, without stealing your thread I would really like to know the answer too. Just what gives with this clothes fetish?

Well, I guess some CDs will say that CDing in general is a fetish to them, therefore all women's clothing is a turn-on, but this is not what I'm wondering about.

I was wondering about the CDers who obviously do enjoy dressing, but who also get weak in the knees over a particular item of clothing. How does this begin and how central is it to your lives or rather, how much pleasure to you derive out of this one particular item of clothing, compared to say, eating a banana split?

For me, there is no fetish or fetishistic tendencies with what I wear. They're just clothes.

Like I said in my OP, I know there are lots of CDs to whom this will not apply. But we seem to have our fair share of members who love to wear something in particular, more than other items of clothing.

[Dee Baker]

Hi Reine,

You have me wondering now if I have ever had a fetish. Have always thought I had a fetish for stockings and garter belts.
Something material (pardon the pun) could never even come close to the feelings I would have for a SO. Even the ex that I don’t get along with so well today rates higher than that.

Maybe that’s not the answer you were looking for…that’s just me.

Regards,

Dee

[Samantha43]

Fetishes are something that cause sexual stimulation. Fetishes are mostly a male trait because males are visually stimulated. Watch men's heads turn when a woman walks by wearing a skirt, heels and stockings.

I'll admit I have my share of fetishes. I like high heels, stockings, makeup, leather, long finger nails....just about everything feminine. I like wearing them myself and I like seeing them on GG's. I love seeing my wonderful wife dress in her lingerie, stockings, heels and sexy makeup. It's not something we do often because of our busy schedules, but it is special when we do it. I get visual satisfaction / stimulation and she gets the satisfaction of me treating her like a princess (I treat her like that all the time, I just bump it up a notch ) We both get the benefit of more enjoyable sex. It's not the most important part of our relationship, actually it's a small part, but it's icing on the cake.

Crossdressing can be considered a fetish although for me it's less of a fetish and more of a feeling of contentment as I grow older.

To answer your question, I have fetishes but in no way are they as important as my wife. They are simply an enhancement to our love life. There are those, however, who let their fetishes dominate their lives and lose control.

[Cheryl James]

I can't remember a time in my early childhood when I didn't go to bed without hoping that I would be a girl when I woke up. So, in 6th grade when the girls breasts began to grow and they began to wear a bra, I wanted that, too. I was an only child and my mother was out a couple of nights a week. This gave me the opportunity to begin to wear a bra. I was hooked. As breasts are one of the big physical differences between the sexes, a bra gives me the illusion of having them. And, a bra, to me, is like a warm hug from a great friend. Now, I know that many women would have a hard time understanding that because they don't like wearing them, but how else would I have breasts? I will admit that it was sexual in my puberty years, but not anymore. I just like to wear a bra.

[LaurenEP]

I'm attracted to femininity.

I admire it; I want to be in its proximity. Crossdressing, for me, is like being awash in femininity; basking in it. Like being a part of it, while retaining who I am.

I don't want to be female, however. Though, it'd be cool if I could shapeshift into one on command, though, and be better able to pull off fantastic things I see other CDs and GGs wear.

I also collect props and toy merchandise from media properties. The Star Trek phasers I have immerse me in that world. I don't hallucinate and mistake fantasy for reality, and believe the Federation is real. But holding a toy phaser or tricorder immerses me in that fictitious world I enjoy.

Wearing nail polish, or velour, or panties similarly immerses me in femininity.

I collect figures of comic and cartoon characters who possess qualities I want to cultivate in myself. Compassion in this one; presence of mind in that one; dogged determination in this one; perspicacity in that one. By looking at them, regarding them ruminatively, I lock on to what ever quality I'm trying to cultivate.

The colors I choose in my nail polish, or the fabrics I choose in my womens clothing, help me to lock on to qualities I admire or desire in femininity.

In a nutshell: Proximity to feminity.

[Naomi Rayne]

What your asking seems like a simple enough question, but its really hard to give a direct answer. Fetishes usually start when you are a child and grow with you. Some fetishes may not be realized until later on. The hard part about all this is the answer sometimes just cant be explained, even through logical thoughts. A fetish to a specific type of clothing can be rationally explained through example an emotion, but to really understand it is hard unless you have a fetish like that yourself.

For instance using the stocking fetish that you also used as an example in the OP. People who have them can say they like to see women in them. Then you can rationally explain that through example such as it pulls the look together and makes a womens legs look smooth and "perfect", it adds an element of excitement when getting intimate because it is something else to take off, and things like that. Then people who have stocking fetishes and wear them can say that they love to feel the fabric hugged around them, or they love feeling the smoothness of their legs in them and so on.

The interesting part about all this is some fetishes, even a stocking one can potentially have nothing to do with CDing. A person may have had a fetish about an item long before that item is ever put on, or if it is ever put on.

A fetish can run very deep and can be extremely central to a persons life. Someone having a stocking fetish that admires other women wearing stockings would most likely take notice to a women wearing them as opposed to someone who wouldnt even notice.

how much pleasure to you derive out of this one particular item of clothing, compared to say, eating a banana split? )

In relation to this if bananna split was your favorite desert that you could eat all the time no matter what the circumstances were and it came with your favorite toppings and ice cream in it as opposed to a "normal" bananna split. That is what it would kind of be like.

[JennaR]

Reine,

Were just guys in skirts and generally are kinda stupid when it comes to this stuff. We like shiny things that catch our eye and never really think about how it affrects our SO. I guess it's a survival thing, if males weren’t selfish we might be extinct as a species. Don't ask why I think that way, I don't know. But, if you track our M.O. it's always Oh, this is sooooooo important to me and the next week it's something else. Panties, stockings... I won't try to pretend I know what’s it's like to be a woman and it's in your best interest to let sleeping dogs lay, lie, what ever. It’s clear you’re a caring person but sometimes you just have to chalk it up to fact that were different, but, as stupid as we are we love you very much

[vivianann]

I am like Kathi Lake, in that no particular item of feminine clothes turns me on either, I just like the feminine image looking back at me in the mirror. However from observing crossdressers over the last 5 years I see a certain pattern of sexual arousal over a certain item of feminine clothing such as panties, or lingere, etc. I dont get it either, because it is just clothes to me, I wear them because it makes me feel complete.
I believe that if a certain item of clothing arouses you that it is a fetish.

[Angiemead12]

Well for me it started as a fetish because I could not get it or wear anything when I was younger, as my SO accepted my CDing I started with all the sexy stuff, corsets, matching bra panties, lace sets, bridal sets, stiletto patent high heels, garters, stockings and all the other super sexy lingerie I could get my hands on. I always wanted to look like a cabaret dancer or pussy cat doll.

After going out of control my SO did question my interest for sex as well, she asked is it the item I was wearing or was it her that turned me on, in fairness its both but Im equally turned on by me being sexy and feeling desirable. And the items did enhance my sexual desire and pleasures! It was sort of a rough patch to assure my love and support for her and always try not to outshine her.

5 years after I hardly wear the items I started with, now my fetish is feeling femininity by looking and feeling pretty and I realized that I would not look or feel this way if my SO did not love and accept me. Knowing that she can love me for whoever I am is the biggest turn on for me now and Im so lucky she let me be me.

[Kate Simmons]

I've never had that particular feelings but evidently there is a longing for a particular item of clothing that wells up into the heart of the individual. This clothing then empowers the associated feelings with being feminine that the individual perceives is given to them by the clothing. It is kind of another way to go around the block without doing it directly.

[Alice Torn]

[SIZE="3"]I have to admit, it started out with a nylons, and pantyhose fascination, as a kid. High heels, hose, tight pencil skirts, sleeveless sheath dresses, bras, all are magical almost to me![/SIZE]I went gaga when i see a pretty lady in them, and now i am that pretty lady, when i dress in them. But, I am now wearing mid calf skirts too. As a lifetime solitary bachelor, i dress as the lady i have not been granted.

[suit]

any ideas that the male brain is wired to learn sexual triggers that may be the local custom for that troop of hunter gathers ?
that makes the luxuries that are common place a snare and a dillution to the original easy simple see her watch smell her touch ..... well now you can touch her ..first thing little Jhonie finds she covetts is her .....shoes! ( pick anything)
oooooohhhh my! with no crowd to judge (the most dagerous thing a child likly encounters in there mind,and three's a crowd) this feels difdferent....sniff hey what! what the heck is ......wow! poof a fetish is born ..and not a nother breathing sole there to redirect the attention.

[MargaretJ]

I'm firmly in the Stockings and Heels splinter group of the CD world. I was fascinated by these when I was as young as 4. Can't really give much of an explanation for it, other than I thought they were really elegant. As for CDing in general, I have always thought of womens clothing as more colourful and pleasing to the eye, than male clothing.

[BRANDYJ]

I don't get it either. To me the clothes simply project the image of myself emulating what I truly adore, admire, respect and love. There was never a time that any article of clothing replaced an SO or ever could. I would not trade in my desire for my mate for anything in the way of my cross dressing. sure some articles of clothes are more feminine to me then others. But to be fixated on any one type as in fetishistic has never happened.
I'm fascinated in trying to look and even act more feminine when I cross dress. Not to replace my love of my mate, but in a very small way to be more like her. Like others, it might be an escape from my man world.
If I had to, which I'm glad I don't, I'd give up all my fem clothes, makeup and heels in favor of my SO. Nothing on earth can replace her or is more important to me.

[GaleWarning]

I'm a leg man ... always have been, always will be ... love to see women in hosiery and heels!

Love to wear them myself!

That's just the way it is!

[michellebesweet]

That is this girls opinion. I do not see my enjoyment of being a woman, real or not, being a fetish. I see this as a way of life, more of a lifestyle.

As for fetish clothing, that to me is just a sexual thing. More of a way to stimulate one during sexual encounters. Some of us do have kinky sides, bondage, spanking, feet, rubber, sissy's, and so forth, but I do not see this including CrossDressing. Wearing sexy undies, pantyhose, lace, nice boots, corsets, garters and stockings, are not fetish, it is just simply sexy clothing. Even wearing leather, in some cases it might be part of a type of fetish wear, but just because you are wearing a leather skirt or jacket, it does not mean you are a biker, or a Mistress. Just this girls opinion.

[Sara Jessica]

Someone mentioned that the fetish thing is a predominantly male phenomenon. However, I'd like to turn the tables just a bit and ask what is the closest approximation from a woman's POV?

If I were to guess, it would be the woman who chooses to wear something particularly pretty or sexy underneath her clothing for how it makes her feel. It likely doesn't have an overt sexual connection. Perhaps she feels more radiant, confident, even sensuous in her presentation...even though she may be the only one who knows what's underneath.

This is my guess because it's what I feel sometimes. Not all the time, just sometimes, a feeling that I find adds another element to the expression of what is in my heart.

[ReineD]

I thank each and every one of you for your wonderful responses! You're the best!

"Fetish" might have been too strong a word. I didn't know what other word to use to indicate a strong preference for a particular item of clothing.

But reading through all the responses, I understand it better now. For some of you, it is the item of clothing that approximates femininity the most, and this is why you have a bent for it.

I'm also guilty of perhaps reading more into it than there is, as I often do. lol. When I just read the posts isolated from other topics, to me they read as if the item of clothing is the most important thing in the world, but of course it isn't. I'm sorry for having made that very shallow assumption. (Sometimes late at night little things take on more importance than they should).

Thank you all again for your great responses and for helping me understand!