Are or do?

[Katheryn]

Having read many of the threads and posts here over time, as well as having conversations with friends and passing acquaintances, I find that the one thing about cd's and gay people at the core of both is,

Is this something you do or is this something you are?

I found out, to me, it's something I am, having tried to not do it. You can do or not do something, but it's hard to not be what you are.

Any thoughts?

Kate

[Susan4]

Vestio ergo sum

[Keely]

It's what I am so it's what I do.

[Yvonne York]

With you Keely!

[suchacutie]

No matter which gender I happen to be presenting, Tina exists. She is a part of me, has a personality, likes and dislikes, and character traits.

So, she is!

tina

[Michelle James]

I dress therefore I am

[Rianna Humble]

I think that there is plenty of anecdotal evidence that people cross-dress because they are TG - they can stop cross-dressing but they cannot stop being transgender so inevitably the need to CD comes back.

As there have already been some references to philosophers, your question is a little like the disagreement between Aristotle and Descartes

One says "To be is to do" and the other says "To do is to be", but my take on that is Frank Sinatra got it right when he said "Do be Do be Do"

[kaitlin]

For me, I am a crossdresser! It is my lifestyle choice, the only way I feel complete as a person!

[Rachelyorkcd]

I do it because I like it, we only live once so why not do as each of us wish

[Raychel]

I have tried to stop crossdressing many times in the past. It has never worked for good. The crossdressing always comes back. If I go for any length of time and I do not get to dress, then I get real moody and frustrated.

I always feel so calm and more like myself when I get to dress. So I guess it is just who I am...

[Rianna Humble]

For me, I am a crossdresser! It is my lifestyle choice, the only way I feel complete as a person!

That last part suggests that being a CD is part of who you are

[PretzelGirl]

I tend to go against the grain here. I think if you can imagine a possibility with us, then someone is fulfilling that possibility. It is quite obvious most feel TG and so it is something inside of them. But I certainly can see there being some that just want to try dressing for a while and can walk away later. Or never walk away, but they still don't feel TG. We are all different, so why can't there be people filling every possibility. One thing I have learned since joining this site is that all things are possible.

Now having said that, I believe it is something I am. But it is a learning process, so I have the right to change my mind. Interesting aside on that note. If I feel I am part femme, then do I have a women's perogative to change my mind and say I'm not. But if I say I am not part femme, then I can no longer change my mind???

[Samantha43]

Crossdressing is something I do, so it's part of who I am, therefore it's something I am.........

Does that make any sense at all?

[marisa]

i won't say this is what i do, for me its a simple case of, this is who i am and as such this is more of a requirement for personal well being.

[connie23]

Hi!
There is a part of me that needs to dress to feel calm and free of anxiety and there is a part of me that needs to dress to feel excited and ready to take on the world. Both of those parts can be dormant for long periods of time but, since they are part of me, they remain below the surface.
I think we can prevent the behavior but, the essence remains. I also think it makes me more interesting and more empathic.
Let's stop asking why and start asking how.
Hugs,
Connie

[Lorileah]

I am of two spirit. I am one I guess therefore it is who I am.

[Dee2U]

I am transgendered whether I am actively crossdressing or not. Sometimes I am not dressing because I'm in the closet, but often it is not necessary - I express my femininity in other ways as well. It is a way of being and a way to interact with the world. Dressing and makeup are just part of it....Dee

[Nicole Erin]

If it is something you enjoy and feel, then it is who you are.
If it's something that you do for like a job but feel indifferent, then it is something you do.

[Samantha B L]

I spent most of my junior high and high school years in denial about it. One thing led to another and I faced up to what I knew already. I am one. I can't think of anything more fun.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

It's something that I am so I do what I am suppose to do ...isn't that the way it's suppose to work????

[Ann Thomas]

For me it's who I am, not something I do.

I know what you mean about 'do' vs. 'am'. Where I live, there's a whole lot of 'do' and it's different from the 'am' which is well-hidden. Two examples come to mind - one serious, the other is quite funny:

My daughter and I moved here almost a year ago now and one thing my daughter told me is that even though the people here are dressed perfectly, their houses and streets are well maintained, and so on, they have an enormous drug problem. They're very good at hiding it, and even though they are very religious (a wide variety, btw) that doesn't seem to matter even if their religion historically denounces drug use. Very insincere.

The second thing that comes to mind is bicycling around here. During the week you see a few people actually using them for transportation. On weekends, omg, the roads are full of bicycles. But what's so funny to see these huge groups of people all dressed in the latest cycling fashions (very expensive and colorful), riding in huge groups down the road (like 50-100 in a pack). And they are so close together that if one fell down, the whole group would be in a huge pile in a split second. It's actually quite funny to watch - there's so many like that and you know they're out for pleasure. Your question made me think of this - they 'do' cycling!

But, it does lead me to ask, if I don't do it then am I still?

I tend to act girly no matter how I'm dressed, and strangers regularly call me "ma'am" on the phone, so I look and sound like it no matter how I dress. To me that's the sincerity I am looking for from my self. I have both female and male attributes and I let them both be expressed without reservation wherever possible. Circumstances tend to dictate which I can express more openly at which time, though, but that's for survival.

I love your question - made me think about a lot of things!

Hugs,
Ann

[Rianna Humble]

But, it does lead me to ask, if I don't do it then am I still?

Isn't that a bit like the old question "If a tree falls in the forest and there is no-one to hear it, is the man still wrong?"

[Karinsamatha]

It is something I am, It is something I must do for my mental well being. As I have progressed in my personal growth it became most clear that the male persona is not the dominate, Karin is. She can be such a brat at times when she can't have her way. But after many many years of being "locked up" can you blame her?

[sissystephanie]

It is something that you are, but also something that you do! I believe that we all have two parts, male and female! If you are born a male, that part is dominant! But that does not mean that YOU cannot choose to indulge in the the other part.

Yes, you do choose to do so. No one is holding a gun to your head saying that you have to wear panties. etc. You want to, so you do so. But it is your choice, and yours alone!! And you can stop if YOU want to. You alone control your life for the most part, so if you want to stop dressing and have the willpower you can!!

I did stop twice, once while I was in the military and again just because I wanted to. I only started up again because my dear late wife begged me to!! She missed Stephanie in her life!

[patti1569]

My wife had a very hard time with my dressing many years ago and asked me to stop. I put it this way to her: I am a crossdresser, I can dress or not dress, but I will always be a crossdresser.