How was it before the internet?

[carolinoakland]

finding out that I wasn't the only one and there wasn't anything wrong with me was a good thing about the internet. Carol

[Jaydee]

Like so many of the other posters, I lived a like of confusion, guilt and fear of being found out. It started when I was about 10. I thought I was the only one who felt this desire to dress in girls clothing. There was no information available. What I did find in the library made me even more confused.

It wasn't until I found the internet and specifically this website that I finally realized that I wasn't alone. It was a revelation. After over 40 years, I have started to come to terms with my dressing and am feeling much better about myself.

Jaydee

PS: I miss those old hardwired dial phones. If you didn't answer the phone, they just thought you were out.

[NathalieX66]

All I keep thinking is people swapping polaroid pics in a dark alley.

But seriously, before anyone could "express" themselves on a public level in total anonymity, I can recall back in the late 80's or early 90's picking up a copy of Transformations magazine at Hudson News on Broadway around 4th st. in NY city, and feeling very guilty about it. I think publications like this, which published photos that people mailed in was one of the only few sources.

Yeah, I was a crossdresser since childhood. By the time I got to college I thought the only outlet was to dress androgynously. "Yeah, I may be weird but I'm not gay" was always my alibi back then. Loving women's clothes enough to wear them but not digging guys was confusing enough. To me this seemed more than just playing out a Monty Python sketch. It was 1990 when I went to a night club in Hollywood, Ca. called Peanuts on one of their trans nights, and that's when I learned officially what transgender really was.

[MargaretJ]

Never felt I was the only one CDing, but there was no chance of meeting others and learning stuff. I did think there was something different about me as a CDer, as I was only ever interested in dressing as a "normal" woman, and not the extrovert, heavily made up, over the top, drag queen, which was the normal image of a tranny when I was younger. The most enjoyable aspect of being on here for me, is just how normal we all look, and want to be.

[Toni_Lynn]

Obviously it was much harder to make contacts. I used to drive to a big city and visit awful adult bookstores to find magazines like Ladylike and Female Mimics.

I used to love Female Mimics (or FMI as it got nicknamed). It was the first publication that I ever sent a letter to about who I was. A public coming out in a sense.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Chloe Renee]

I didn't access the internet until highschool. Prior to that I was alone and depressed. O had been caught and beaten a couple of times. In college o finally found others like me. It felt so good to know that. In fact I remember lurking here in 2004 when k bought my first computer.