Im sorry I could not defend us

[Kerigirl2009]

I found myself at work with three women asn always and as one was googling she was flabbergasted by the term sexual reassignment surgery and this started a conversation about LGBT and how they think it is wrong for someone to go to such extremes and want what we want. As one female coworker said "God gave you this now it is your to deal with so just deal with it" The best I could come up with was well that is how some people deal with it by making themselves present on the outside as they feel on the inside. (about the best as I could do without outing myself)
This started another conversation about the time she was driving and came across two men dressed in womens outfits. She said they looked like hookers trying to attract men. I said so they where crossdressers, so what, they where probably out just enjoying their walk.

Then the women stated all 3 of them that they think that it is just gross for men to do this and cannot handle seeing men on men but that they can handle seeing 2 women together. This made me think WHY is it ok in thier world for women to be with women but be disgusted by men being with men.
I can only come up with HOLLYWOOD as this is a common scene played in many movies so it is socially acceptable to people.

They all said to each their own and they would not treat them any different if they where to have known them, (at this point I thought just for a moment about saying well I know what those crossdressers experience as I am also a crossdresser.) BUT I chickened out. So I apologize to all of US.

I will still go to work everyday underdressed and someday I am sure one of the women will notice if they have not already
I would so love to be included in their conversations more but I can tell it is a conversation that the women have on a routine basis.

One of the women even revealed that her brother is gay and that she is ok with it however her belief is that when it comes time for him to meet God he will be judged, I did defend this as saying I do not believe he will be judged by his sexual orientation but by how he serves humanity and treats others.

I know that it is not a choice we make to be who we are weather it is crossdressing or gay or just being straight, we where all made by God and I believe we are going to be judged by how we are as a person.

Sorry I am just taken back a bit by this conversation I was lucky enough to hear and somewhat participate in but it did open my eyes up a bit about who it is that I am working with. I think when and if they do find out I am a crossdresser life will go on but the conversations will not reveal to many details about how a woman really thinks.

Sorry so long and jumps around a bit when am thinking, just a bit more confused as to why women think it is ok for women to be with women but that it is so wrong for a man to want to dress like a woman or a man be with a man.
Any thoughts? Feel free to add any

[kimdl93]

Over the years I have bit my tongue many times in conversations like these. I tend to squirm a bit whenever anyone plays the God card - it trumps any fact or reasoning you might offer. And I can't help but wonder how anyone who professes to believe in God can be so arrogant as to suggest that they know "Her" intentions or Her preferences.

You were wise to avoid a useless arguement to get into - it seems people cling to their beliefs despite any and all evidence to the contrary.

[Stephanie Miller]

I don't see the problem of you taking them correct information about us! Just tell them that you and the wife were talking about work - the subject of this conversation came up and so did the curiosity of "where it began" and does God really give a hoot about our physical as he does our treating of others. God must not want perfection in us or he wouldn't allow the human body to go as many directions as it does. Nobody thinks it's Gods fault for all the Single gene disorders (SGD) that account for about 1 in 300 births.
What makes a CD so special in thier eyes that during our trimester wash one tiny tiny bit of brain wiring might be different than so many others?
No need to give yourself away while you play the devils advocate for lunch time fun.

[Mi$$ Despair]

I like to think of God, Heaven and Hell in the Black Adders terms "Heaven is for people who want to go to heaven, Hell is for people that want to go to Hell"

[Jay Cee]

It must be great to have such an intimate knowledge of exactly what God approves and disapproves of. Those women you work with are truly blessed.

[Lee51964]

They say God Loves all his children equily so I know she loves me
there is only one person who can ever judge me and I will atone for my life
on that day and to no one else
weather you like men or women is not a choice it is where your heart flows and I was once told that God guides your heart

I hope when you do come out to these fine ladies that they will have the respect to know that you are the same person they have been working with right along and take you into there hearts

Sarah

[DeeInGeorgia]

Push up bras, any bra for that matter, implants, makeup, nail polish are all attempts by people to alter what God gave them. It is all a matter of quantity. Bu of coirse, they woild never agree to it.

[sissystephanie]

Dee in Georgia said it all in a very good way! I will add that I think God judges us as individuals, not as a group!! Hopefully, I will have a chance to talk when my time comes!

[Sara Jessica]

There is no shame, nor any need to apologize, because you didn't utterly out yourself in the defense of US on the TG side of things. Everyone has different life situations which go far to dictate what we can disclose to others. As was said before, you did the best you could, which was pretty darned good if you ask me.

[Christinedreamer]

"Love American Style" had an episode with Phyllis Diller and Richard Deacon coming home after a dinner with friends. While they are undressing they are complaining about all the phony people and the white lies they tell socially. During this conversation they both take off corsets, girdles, a wig for her and toupee for him, elevator shoes, false eyelashes, a push up bra with falsies, make-up, costume jewelry, tape from the temples for a facelifted appearance, contact lenses, etc.

The old adage about removing the beam from your own eye before pointing out the splinter in your neighbor's eye should be delivered to these women.

[sandra-leigh]

"Love American Style"

Ooo, I used to watch that!

[txrobinm]

Girl, you did just fine. Can't push it more without giving away the farm in that situation, doesn't sound very sympathetic to our cause.

If the CDers they were talking about were dressed like hookers, then we should all remember that what we wear has an impact not just on how we feel but on how others see us and this incredibly diverse group to which we belong.

Regarding religion, we are in sales, not management. That was very presumptious of her to say.

About 11 years ago I was trying to not CD and the subject came up at a dinner gathering, fueled by Dennis Rodman's antics, I believe. The best I could do was "well, something's not quite right there". But in other conversations, at other times with this same group, pretty much anything that doesn't hurt anyone else that keeps you from "going postal" was deemed OK.

[carrie-ann]

I think you did just fine no problem. When the time is wright youll find a way to say what you want too. Everyone has to do what they need to do to live and work in this world.

[Pythos]

Such open minded modern women you work with.

Wow, it is just astonishing.

[Inna]

I have given plenty of thought to the subject of woman being able to accept an idea of another woman in sex more so than male with male. Females have deeper sensuality and therefore their understanding of sexual act is quite different then males. Deeper sensuality translates into more sophisticated appreciation of form and senses allowing for openness to same sex fantasy. There were several studies conducted on this subject and percentage wise woman were more open by far to engage in same sex act then man.

As to your defense of our cause, my god woman, what have you done................just kidding!
You have done exactly what needed to be done. Gently illuminated your open view without causing a major stir. This is how world sees us and it is slowly changing but that is a reality. If we expect more we get hurt, so expect less and perhaps every so often we get a nice surprise.

[joanna marie]

It just makes you proud to be a christian doesn't it

I'm glad I'm an atheist



"The question is not, Why do lemmings rush to jump off the cliff and drown, but why people don't"
Oscar Wilde

[Kerigirl2009]

Many responses to my post. I just love reading the comments especially the positive ones.

My negative reaction to this is that although I underdress at work and I believe no one has noticed I have mentally prepared myself to answer honestly if they ever do ask me, and I feel I backed out on myself.

I do Know that when I do meet God face to face he will look straight at me and welcome me into heaven.

[Vickie_CDTV]

You do not owe anyone an apology. Your first obligation is to protect your livelihood (and that of your family if you have one.) I seriously doubt that opening up further than you did would have changed their mind anyway, and could have put you at risk for no reason.

[Danni Bear]

Apology, none expected, none needed.You did what you could.
Their attitude could have put you at risk (job,family,everything).

Hopefully one day CD will be a thing of the past. All individuals will wear or present themselves as they are with no reservations or fear.


Danni

[sterling12]

I don't think you'll have much Luck trying to change The Minds of "Fundies." These folks can be very stiff-backed and refuse to consider anything that might break up their conception of how The World is supposed to run.

HOWEVER, you can throw a bit of a monkey wrench into their smug little concepts. Ask them if they believe it's OK for GF's to change their Birth Status. Is a FTM OK, like Elvis Presley's Daughter? If they think that's all right, we have a double standard! And I would certainly point that out to them.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Pipi]

I always had a dislike of religion, and this is one of the reasons for it: Religion is used as an excuse to accept things as they are, or as they appear to be and keeps people from changing the world they live in (hence the approval of religion by all the governments).

On occasions like this I refrain from detailed discussions on the matter and rather quote Bob Marley:

“Most people think Great God will come from the sky,
Take away ev'rything, and make ev'rybody feel high.
But if you know what life is worth, you would look for yours on earth,
And now you see the light, you stand up for right, yah.”

[Rachel Newark]

( Sterling12) Is a FTM OK, like Elvis Presley's Daughter? If they think that's all right, we have a double standard!

Well, the religious do seem to have a thing for double standards :-) and I'm mightily impressed how their god always hates and loves the same things they do.

However, are you sure about Lisa Marie ?? I know Chastity Bono - Daughter of Cher - is FtM, but LMP ?

Hugs

Rachel

[TerryTerri]

In my cubeville, I'm the only liberal and democrat. It is not uncommon for political conversations to emerge from our numerous strong personalities and opinions. Anyway, I have made it VERY clear, being a liberal, that I do not think homosexuality or transgenderism is wrong and that I feel sorry for the folks who will have to stand before God someday and answer to him (her) why they shuned homosexuals and transgenders because of the way God made them.
Someday I will be coming out and transitioning at work (when????). I wonder what my fellow cube denizens are going to think of me then. lol.
btw, although I usually do not agree with their political or sexual or religious stances, I work with a good hearted group of souls and tend to hope that when I finally come out and transition, I may open their mnd some. I am respected amongst my peers despite the differing views.

[Samantha Girl]

You did what you could in the given situation as many said. I totally understand feeling guilty, but give yourself a break It's a tough balance

Maybe eventually you will tell them, but you are certainly not a bad person if you never do

[Kate Simmons]

Well three against one isn't very good odds my friend. Especially since women are very good at "tag teaming" against one guy.