reality bites

[Lorileah]

I have really tried to have a positive attitude and looked at people as having open minds. I have always been a proponent for being yourself and being happy with yourself. But reality has a nasty way to come back on you.

This is totally a vent, nothing else. I am still for living your life in any manner that makes YOU happy.

Long ago, in a thread far way I wrote about having a long time friend accept me. I know I am never going to be the beautiful princess I want to be. I know that physically I will never be mistaken as a genetic female. I have resigned myself to the fact that I am who I am. I also know that the people on here accept who I am (they may not like me but they accept me). But today, my best friend, told me that no matter how I present, I can never be attractive (OK he said I don't look good no matter what and that this is especially true when I dress). So, three steps back now.

Not something anyone likes to hear.

[Danni Bear]

Lori, it sounds more like jealousy, you are a very lovely woman

Danni

[TNRobin]

I don't have any profound words of wisdom, but judging from your avatar I think that you present yourself as a female quite well.

[Elsa Larson]

Your friend must be suffering from testosterone poisoning of his eyes.
I'm no beauty but I've had women tell me that I am pretty. Women perceive beauty and physical attractiveness much differenty than men do.
SO spend more time with your female friends and enjoy their opinion of you.

[ArleneRaquel]

Lorileah, You are gorgeous. IMHO your so called friend is jealous.

[April Renee]

Take those three steps back, pick yourself back up again, tighten up those ankle straps and keep right on walking. As long as you have been around here I'm sure you've given advice to someone in a similar situation. What I'm curious about is how and what your reply was to him and, what difference it made in his mind. After all he is a friend and not a significant other right?
.
Fight the good fight.
April

[Stephanie Miller]

And you put such value on this very shallow minded persons words because ???????

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. ~Confucius

[Frédérique]

I am still for living your life in any manner that makes YOU happy.

[SIZE="2"]Words to live by!

Really, darling, a true friend would never say such a thing. I know it’s important to hear other’s opinions now and then, but this is a slippery slope on the best of days. I’m not sure if superficial attraction is what this is all about, but we’re all different in this regard. As long as you’re happy with yourself, you’re doing OK – just avoid the bumps in the road (roll OVER them), and carry on as usual…[/SIZE]

[Lorileah]

What I'm curious about is how and what your reply was to him and, what difference it made in his mind.

Like so many others I just walked away and didn't say anything. Wrong move on my part I know.

Thanks for all the support everyone I'll get over it and move on. We all know we cannot change who we are and I am just ornery enough to bull my way through this.

[Hope]

Your "friend" with the poison words is a jerk.

You look stunning in your avatar.

Besides, charm is always better than beauty.

[RebeccaLynne]

But today, my best friend, told me that no matter how I present, I can never be attractive (OK he said I don't look good no matter what and that this is especially true when I dress). So, three steps back now.

My goodness. Your best friend. That was mean. Very insensitive, and disrespectful.

I'd distance myself from this person post-haste.

Don't know who to attribute this to, but "with friends like that, who needs enemies"...

And I think you're attractive and personable, FWIW.

Not something anyone likes to hear.

Let him go, IMO. Not worth your time.

[larry]

I have really tried to have a positive attitude and looked at people as having open minds. I have always been a proponent for being yourself and being happy with yourself. But reality has a nasty way to come back on you.

This is totally a vent, nothing else. I am still for living your life in any manner that makes YOU happy.

Long ago, in a thread far way I wrote about having a long time friend accept me. I know I am never going to be the beautiful princess I want to be. I know that physically I will never be mistaken as a genetic female. I have resigned myself to the fact that I am who I am. I also know that the people on here accept who I am (they may not like me but they accept me). But today, my best friend, told me that no matter how I present, I can never be attractive (OK he said I don't look good no matter what and that this is especially true when I dress). So, three steps back now.

Not something anyone likes to hear.

Not all (friends) can understand or work their way thru all this. Just find friends who can accept YOU..

[eluuzion]

When a person selects a specific target for their verbal assault or similar demeaning attack, it typically has little to do with the "target/victim", and everything to do with the attacker's dysfunctional attempt to deal with his/her low self-esteem issues.

You should feel just a little bit "flattered", in a dysfunctional, twisted way...as these outbursts are typically directed at people they "envy" the most...

[pattyv]

I passed a GG today and I know she would love to look like you.
I also looked at your albums, and I find you a very attractive and stylish lady. It's obvious your "friend" has bad taste. Also you come across as a sensitive person who would never say such cruel things even if you were thinking them. I read a book many years ago titled" What you think of me is none of my business". Later the book went on to say "it is only what I think of you that's important to me".
With over six billion people in the world, why be upset over one persons opinion. Keep smiling.

[sterling12]

Keeping away from Philosophical Musings. Let's analyze: Your Friend felt that you weren't attractive. That means that he/him/himself didn't find you attractive. That's one opinion, it's his, and he's entitled to have it!

But, I'll just bet that there are lots of people out there in The Big Wide World who find you attractive, on The Inside and on The Outside. I think I have read stories that you have related about "gettin' hit on." Now some creep in a Bar is probably not every Gurl's Dream, but nonetheless that person, at that moment in time found you attractive. Be Flattered!

And, let's imagine that your Friend probably first knew Your Male-Self. I think it would be intensely hard for males who have been your "buddy," to ever try and imagine Lori. Remember to Males, "I find you attractive" means: "Your good looking enough, that I'd like to take you to Bed." For a Former "Buddy," that's probably someplace "he don't want to go!" Remember, they ALL assume we are Gay, and want to Cohabitate with every male we meet.

It will always hurt! Can't get away from that. But, you will find that The Initial pain will subside into a dull-sorta ennui'. New Friends, new Opportunities!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[crusadergirl]

Lori thats not the words you ever want to hear i know how you feel, one of my good friends had said something like that to me when i first starting dressing it hurt. You got a great support group here.
Your awesome !!!!

[Pythos]

Your friend is dumb.

At least your don't look like a Gothic horror like Moi. LOL

(I like my look, but it is edgy. You look nice, at least in the avatar)

[Rianna Humble]

today, my best friend, told me that no matter how I present, I can never be attractive (OK he said I don't look good no matter what and that this is especially true when I dress).

Seems to me that for a friend to say something like that,he must be going through some kind of upset in his own life. This is what would have made him look at you and see someone who doesn't "look good" rather than the person in front of him.

Looking good and attractive are not always the same thing, when I was Robert, I definitely did not look good, but people told me I had an attractive personality (most of the time). Now that I am Rianna, I do take more care to look nice and have been called stylish and pretty. I still have the attractive personality.

[suzy1]

I don’t get it? I have always thought you looked lovely.......really!

Hugs, SUZY

[Patty B.]

Just checked out some of your pics, i dont think you have anything to worry about, he was having a bad day, who knows why the negative comment. Easy enough to say ignore him, but the words can hurt.

[Ms Jennifer]

Honey,You are lovely. All you need is a real best friend.

[Kieron Andrew]

not a true friend IMO, if he can put you down and make you feel bad...you are beautiful Lori, inside and out! and don't let anyone tell you any different...none of us are oil paintings and we do the best with what we have, if that isn't good enough for some people then tough thats their problem

[Haley]

Maybe he said that because he's trying to stop you from dressing? Maybe he doesn't like it that you dress and it makes him feel awkward for some reason because you're a close friend and he's just too used too to knowing you as you were before you came out to him...it's just my theory Whatever the issue is, it's his problem, because you seem like a wonderful person. Love your hair btw ;D lol <3

[Satrana]

People have different ideas what a best friend is.

Some think best friends should support you in everything you do and say whatever necessary to make you feel good.

Others think best friends are the ones who should tell you the truth even if it hurts your feelings.

At the end of the day your friend is only expressing his opinion based on his idea of beauty. Others may genuinely find you attractive. But the only important thing is that you present yourself the way you want to. Why place value on other people's judgments?

[Lucy_Bella]

Friends can be brutally honest ,that's why they are friends ..Appreciate the fact you have one who is honest to you. To one man it's junk to another it's treasure everyone has a taste of their own . Lets drink to honest friends and I will have another for not being to concerned that I am not attractive because the only person I am out to please is myself ..When it comes to dressing that is..