Hi All,
I wanted to share with you the fact that I have noticed that my desires for X-Dressing are vanishing and is due to a lot of stress at work. This is leaving me so drained that I just dont have the energy and I feel like my female side is dying. I desperately want to save her by I just can't. I am so moody, short tempered and depressed due to the stress. Nothing feminine excites me anymore..I think this is the end of Koka....... please help!!!!
Koka
Hi Koka, I think you can relax. Almost everyone here has gone through a dry spell of some sort....sometimes years w/o dressing. But for most of us, that dry spell was due to an attempt to repress the desire. If you are stressing out at work, then its going to express itself throughout your life.
My advice, sweetie, is to come up with a strategy to deal with the stress, and the consequent depressive modes (all that ofther stuff is associate w/it). It could be exercise , could be counsleing, or it could be a different job. You're in a much better position to decide where the stress is coming from, and once you know that, you can start to address it more effectively. Good luck - you're much tooo cute to stop dressing!!!
Take a vacation or listen to some soothing music. Stress will do more end your cd'ing.
Michelle
Coping with stress is easier when you identify your stress triggers, manage your time well, and take steps to curb job burnout.
By Mayo Clinic staff
Nowhere is stress more likely than in the workplace. Twenty-five percent of people say that their job is the primary stressor in their lives. Job stress can affect your professional and personal relationships, your livelihood, and your health. The good news is that you're not powerless. You can learn better ways of coping with stress.
The effects of stress
In small doses, stress is a good thing. It can energize and motivate you to deal with challenges. But prolonged or excessive stress — the kind that overwhelms your ability to cope — can take a severe psychological and physical toll. High stress levels have been linked to depression, anxiety, cardiovascular disease, musculoskeletal problems, impaired immune response and cancer.
Your genes, personality and life experiences all influence the way you respond to and cope with stress. Situations and events that are distressing for most people might not bother you in the least. Or, you may be particularly sensitive to even minor stressors. The first step in coping with stress is identifying your stress triggers.
Some causes of stress are obvious — the threat of losing your job, for instance. But small, daily hassles and demands such as a long commute or difficult co-workers also contribute to your stress level. Over time, small, persistent stressors can wreak more havoc than sudden, devastating events do.
Tackle your stress triggers
To identify the factors causing you stress, try keeping a stress inventory: For one week write down the situations, events and people who cause you to have a negative physical, mental or emotional response. Give a brief description of the situation. Where were you? Who was involved? Also, describe your reaction. Did you feel frustrated, angry or nervous?
I been through a few spells of not crossing dressing in the past, even gone as far as throwing away all my clothes. But this was mainly a attempt to supress and control the desire to cross dress.
But the truth be told, it never left me
I now find myself more relaxed when wearing a nice skirt and tights. And look forward to getting home after work, to unwind and chill out crossed dressed and forget the stress of the day.
I have lots of stress at work, luckily good stress i.e. it's exciting. But when it sometimes draines me (which it does regularly), getting home for the weekend, dressing up and being myself makes me forget the stressful side of my life and I relax completely.
I am not qualified to dish out therapy but maybe you might try making the effort to dress up when you're stressed and you might forget your troubles and relax a little.
Works for me.
Hope you find a resolution
Marina
I've felt exactly the same of late. I am usually very well kept (smooth, etc) and had let my body hair grow to an almost unmanageable state! I had a moment with my wife last weekend and told her that I'm taking time away from home projects and will be myself for a while... work is work, there isn't much I can do about that. funny enough, I shaved last night for the first time in weeks and my wife and I had a wonderful time in bed. she even bought be new stockings and claims there will be a surprise (in the form of 4-5" in height) this Friday!
sometimes you just need to take a step back and remember who you are.
Koka:
I would suggest you do not let the lack of interest in cross dressing at this time, add more stress to your life. Personally, I feel the cross dressing is something that we do because we want to do. If other things in your life are causing a lack of desire to crossdress, let it be. Continue to be part of the forum, stay up to date of the post, and when the time is right for you, you will get back into it. It might not be today, tomorrow, next month, or 6 months. When your feminine side is ready to come back out, it will, and you will be ready.
Good Luck.
Thank you all for your replies. I will do follow you advise. Thank you, thank you, thank you..!!!
I just don't want to lose my girl side.....
Thank you again !
Originally Posted by Koka
Hi All,
I wanted to share with you the fact that I have noticed that my desires for X-Dressing are vanishing and is due to a lot of stress at work. This is leaving me so drained that I just dont have the energy and I feel like my female side is dying. I desperately want to save her by I just can't. I am so moody, short tempered and depressed due to the stress. Nothing feminine excites me anymore..I think this is the end of Koka....... please help!!!!
Koka
Koka, as my therapist said to me when I said just what you just did.....when you need her she will be there.......So don't give the clothes away!
hugs
niki
And I can show you scholarly studies that claim people crossdress to mitigate stress! Inotherwords, if your under stress your more likely to "indulge." Another classic example of People who write books and use us for their PHD Dissertations not really understanding how varied, and unique each of us is.
You have to find something that lessens your tension! If it's jogging, painting, reading, or whatever; you have to experiment and find that one thing that helps you to cope. Stress is unavoidable, even The Guy who goes around and picks up Porte-Potti's has stress! It is true that some of us use CD as tension relief, but it obviously isn't your scenario.
When you finally get some release from The Pressure, I'll just bet that one day you wake up and say: "Hmmmm, today I feel gurly. Today, I just can't wait to put on some pretties!" How long that takes is anybody's guess, but it will happen. Have faith in That Reality.
Peace and Love, Joanie
Hello Koka!
I went for 12 years without dressing and then all of a sudden the pink fog came crashing back! Spells where CD stops is mentioned in many articles as a normal cycle for crossdressers. Enjoy the respite. Koka will return.
Charlie
With me I notice the more stressed I am, the more I want to become Lita and forget about all the BS
I have been on both sides. Most often dressing is a stress relief for me however I have been stressed to the point that I didn’t feel like dressing.
With each day there are changes and there will likely be some relief to the stress at some point.
Hang in there.
Dee
Koka...Stress is a very very bad thing, and can actually harm you. Stay calm, remember that you are doing the best that you can, and at the end of the day, a big exhale may just do wonders for you.....
ttya soon!
Koka,
I was working in an extremely stressful job, a very negative environment which had me in the ER one night with chest pains (last December). I was laid off in March which has turned out to be a blessing in many ways. The negative energy I was experiencing daily is gone.....not that I hope you are suddenly unemployed but I can relate. Hang on to that feminine aspect as I think it may be the one thing that helps get you through the bad.
One thing I found that helped was a stress relief pill called Sedalia that is totally homepathic. It works really well and you should be able to find it online if not locally.
We're here for ya!
Ashley
If you want to be my friend I will welcome you with open arms.
If you want to judge me, stay away and keep your mouth shut.
Just go shopping for something cute your favorite color!!
Sometimes I get VERY stressed while preparing for a Sherry appearance!
Then, I know it's time to step away!
When the time is rite, she returns like MAGIC!
I wonder!? How does she ALWAYS know the EXACT rite time to return?.gif "Big Roll Eyes")
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I'll bet the rest of your life is repressed too... the solution is to let some things drop off the list and reduce that stress! Sometimes you have to wait for a vacation day or live vicariously through others.
Chickie
Koka,
Try this one of these days. Before you sign on to this forum, get pretty. See if that rekindles the spark and gets you to put some of the stress behind you, at least for an evening. Sometimes just a little space is enough to make things better.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
I guess it works different ways for different people. I had cd'd all of my life. But as I reached adulthood and into my 30's I had to give up all those desires that I could not explain. Then after the first divorce that almost killed me. I lived with another woman for 16 more years and married her on the last year. I had quelled and had purged succesfully for many years. But the second relationship was the worst I will ever remember. She screamed and hollered about things I may have done. Or she would pitch the worst fit beyond what any normal man could ever take. She bitched me out not only for things that I could have done but for things she thinks I might be thinking. Many times I left the house in desperation and tears dripping off of my chin, with suicidal thoughts too numeous to mention. Many nights I would just drive to work and sleep in the car till time to go in and work. This woman had no idea of marriage or how to treat her husband with any respect. But to make a long story short, I found that it was at those particular times that my female and CD urges came on so strong that it was so hard to fight off. It was Like I wanted to escape from the man I was and just relax being Tara. But in your case, it's like the more stress you're under, the more it dampens your desire. With me, it's like the more stress I'm under, the greater the desire. But the lesson here is, dress when you need to, regardless of why.
the best stress reliever i have found (for me at least) is to get down to the shooting range and blow off a couple thousand rounds with a good ten of so guns.
some just to shoot the h* out of, other's to sight in and shoot one hole's for hours. try shooting old shotgun hulls at 100 yards with a .17hmr bolt action.
or work with a black powder rifle.
gets my mind off the problems and i feel much better after.
just take a lunch some drinks (no alcohol), relax for the day just shooting.
anybody want to join me this sunday?? let me know and just be in angles camp by 8:am. bring targets and ammo.
Loni
.
I don't think that you have much to worry about cross dressing seems to be an inborn need and thus your female half will not, indeed, cannot entirely disappear.
Thank you all again for your kind words. !! - You are an amazing group. I wish you all a wonderful weekend.
Love
Koka
This sounds like very good advice indeed.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
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