well i dont know if this shood be her or not but i have ben talking to this guy on line for a year of an on he has exs an i do he knows i am a cd-ts to but he wonts to dait me as a women he said i never wont to see you as a male so what shood i do semm like a nice guy i wood like to be with hem but i have never ben with a man yes i dress an go out but to be on a date with one i wont to but what if all your ????????????????? wood help me have you ben ther an don that an how did it work for you
It pretty much depends on what you and he expect to happen. Sex or just dating plutonically? Are you ok with the sex part if that's what he wants?
Lori you should do what you feel comfortable doing, its your choice. If you are happy seeing this guy enfemme then go for it, but it you have doubts then dono't go there
Long gone
It's best if you know just what you want, and make sure no one expects more than you are willing to give.
Remember you will have to live with what ever happens, so be sure you like what happens.
Tina B.
Yes if you are uncomfortable with what is expected, then may be you need to ask a few more questions and find out what he expects when he is with you .Do your home work ,why is he wanting to change sides
do you think that most guys are after a new thing he was married an kids but is a man that wonts to be with a cd-ts good or bad or fun to see what it like to be with one sex or not
Hmmm, I sense bad signals. If he is eventually going to love you then he is going to need to know your male side as well -- even if it is just through casually walking into use the toilet while you happen to be showering or what-not. Which, I gather, will continue to be an issue for some time as you posted this in the crossdressing section rather than in the transsexual section.
If you are into guys, then Yes, this could be interesting, and Yes the proper person could help you with your presentation and so on -- but to my mind, the proper person isn't going to be pushing you to always be femme femme lest he accidentally see the portion of you that is male.
My warning flags are up, unless you know in advance that you are looking for a fling with someone who probably has someone else to go back to, and will probably end it by talking about "going back to a real woman!"
So, go ahead! Drive separately and meet at a coffee shop, or CD friendly bar where u go, and maybe know folks!
By the end of the afternoon or evening, u should know his intentions, and whether or not u like him!
I've never dated a guy, but that's how I meet fem dates for the first time! It seems to work!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Hi Lori,
I hate to sound awkward, but if you are going to date a guy who never wants to see you as a man, it will be a very difficult life. Assuming you are not going full time TS, then things like leaving his place for work or as sandra-leigh said, showering, are likely to be very tricky indeed. It does also sound like he is deluding himself.... Please be cautious before committing to anything!
Hi Lori .
When we talked some time ago over a year now have things changed that much that you can pass as a female in a way that you would be comfortable being a female all the time .
it does not sound like love here more a try out & then go ,
it would appear he does not care about his family so would he care about you, ...NO... . i dought it very much .
The warning bells are there so be very very carefull . & youv only been talking to him per the net & never met .
That alone says whats not being said he can hide behind a screen & not tell the truth .
im a woman & my advice is dont go down that road. I v seen what has happened to our girls here in N Z .
If you do go meet him have some one with you , & tell them what your doing .& dont go any where alone with him .
...noeleena...
I'd think he is about 99% up to something. Make sure of what he wants and if your ready to give it Before you go there Lori I'd hate to see you hurt hun.
Angie
Listen to your sisters.
This guy is up to no good.
Presh GG
As I re-read this thread, I see that although one part of me is saying, "Gee, maybe I'm judging this fellow too harshly based upon little information", another part of me is saying, "It sounds as if this fellow has 'she-male' fantasies."
A lot of people all over the world meet each other for dinner and a shared event (e.g., movie, concert, going to a car show), with the understanding that afterwards they will go somewhere for sex, and that it might or might not be a one-time event. Some people are perfectly happy with that kind of life, and if you are too then I would just extend the usual (non-specific) warnings about STDs and trying to ensure you don't get mugged and the like.
But I don't get the impression from your posting that you are looking for that kind of interaction: I get the impression instead that you are looking for some romance over a period of time (and might not be adverse to experimenting with sex along the way.) And maybe this fellow is trying to give you that kind of female-romance experience when he says he doesn't want to see you as male, but my intuition is saying "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is too good to be true!"
Sounds like a nice cruisin for a bruisin.
You best watch what you do when it comes to this situation.
I say go for it, I have a lot of fun with dating guys you just have to go with your feelings if it feels wrong then it is. but when it feels right WOW.Originally Posted by lori m crawford
Mistybtm
My spidey senses are tingling in all the wrong ways. Of course, I'm just a gal on the other side of the net and don't know the details as well as you. In the end, you'll have to trust your own judgment. But in the long and sordid history of bad ideas...this sounds like one of them.
My "standard" advice when meeting anyone who you only know from on-line interractions (e-mail, chats, forums), is to meet them in a public place. Meet for coffee or a meal at a mall restaurant or something like that. It's just coffee or a meal. (You can even say you have plans for later, if you wish.) Meet the person, get to know them a bit better, then decide if there is a second meeting.
Of course, if the meal or coffee goes good, you can always do something right after that, too. Something siple and in public is always a good first step.
Lori --
Just out of curiosity, are you FULL TIME or "occasionally" cross dressing?
I am one of those that say go for it. The "it" being an outing with him to get to know him and 'feel" him out in the way that he reacts with you and you with him. As for the warnings above: they are all real and worth listening to. However, I did not read in your post that you are looking for long or short term. Relationships start out normally with little steps and then develop, if they can. Since you have never been out with a man before, you do need to start somewhere and this sounds like a starting point to me, and a training ground as well. Just be careful, meet in an open public place for an initial short period of time with an option (yours) of extending it if you two hit it off. As a lot of wise people have stated way before we were ever conceived, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained!". Good luck and be safe, and please let us know what happens.
I'm with the girls who are urging you to be cautious. There are some warning flags even in your rendition of your contact-to-date. Take the advice offered and be careful. Anyone who only wants part of you [the enfemme] is deluding both of you.
I'm now retired from law enforcement but believe me, the streets are littered with victims who trusted when they shouldn't have. Listen to the sisters. Be safe first.
Sarah M..,
Women's clothes? I don't put them on, I just grew into them.
http://sarahjanus.wordpress.com
www.facebook.com/sarah.m.janus
This will only end in disaster.
One simple question, are you into men or women?
If you are into women, just simply say no to him. If you are into men, he needs to accept your male side as well; also see you as a male.
Does a soldier go home and eat dinner then go to bed with the full armor on?
Good luck.
Warning flags from all the girls. Is he really single.If you do decide to meet it should be in a public place and it should not be a sexual encounter until you truly get to know him.Step Back and take a deep breath and think about this.Please be careful.
This is really very simple. Are you ready for sex with a man? That's all you have to answer. If you are ready for a sexual relationship, then go for it.
You know just as well as I and everyone else here that men don't "date" for platonic reasons. If this guy wants to "date" you, then he is going to expect sex.
Please insist on a condom.
Stephie
Every one of the girls have valid points that you have to consider. If there is one man there are and will be others. You posted here asking advice so along with our other sisters you are having some misgiving. Make sure he understands the ground rules and you have an exit plan if needed.
Hugs,
Alice
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