...that you have learned over the years?
For me, it has to be the power of truth and honesty, and how liberating it can be.
- Honesty with myself: finally admitting to myself what I am, no longer resisting my feminine side but embracing it instead, and finally being at peace with myself over my crossdressing urges.
- Honesty with my wife and my two adult children. They are the only ones among friends and family who now know of "Leslie's" existence. My wife is not thrilled about my crossdressing, but is slowly moving from reluctant tolerance to acceptance. While she doesn't yet want to meet "Leslie", we can at least talk about her and acknowledge her existence. My children, being of the younger generation, do not see it as such a big deal at all, and this revelation has not changed our relationship one iota.
- Honesty with SA's, make up artists, nail techs etc. No more lies about buying my femme clothes as presents for my wife, a Halloween costume etc. Telling a make up artist or nail tech up front that I am a crossdresser, what I am looking for, and determining if this is a service that they would be willing and/or able to provide to me. And 9 times out of 10, the answer has been an unequivocal "yes". People don't like being lied to, even if it is for their "protection". Sure, they may be taken aback for a couple of seconds when told that I am a crossdresser, but most already know that people such as ourselves exist, even if they haven't met one in person yet. So the shock has more to do with the unexpected nature of the initial revelation than its nature per se. And it is amazing how helpful and accommodating people can be when they are told the truth and see an opportunity to take another person under their wing - especially when entrusted with such sensitive information. I don't recall a single incident where such an open disclosure hasn't had a positive outcome - both for me in terms of superior service, and the other party in terms of being educated about us and having any negative perceptions about our community (thank you, Jerry Springer Show ) dispelled.
My only regret is that I didn't arrive at this epiphany sooner, as it could have saved me a huge amount of grief and self-loathing over the years. As the German-American saying goes " Ve get too soon oldt, und too late schmart..."