I Feel like the biggest fraud!!! I denied my true self twice today

[Helen_Highwater]

Isn't this a fine example of the lack of understanding of what being CD is about? How many of us here on the forum are gay? Some yes but no more that in the wider community.
OK, an opportunity was missed to educate those who link any behavior that they consider "Not normal", that falls within a certain stereo type to being gay. However it's your judgment call made in the heat of the moment as to whether or not you justify yourself to others, others who, even with the most articulate of explanations, will fail to grasp to differences that make us all unique.
What you did was right for you at that time. If you feel later it's time for a change, that's your decision.

[carrie-ann]

You come out on your terms not there's. You did the wright thing.

[AmandaM]

Look kiddo, don't come out if it may cost you your job. No GLBT group is gonna start sending you checks. In this economy, look out for number one. Then, IF IT CAN BE DONE without harming yourself, take some positive steps. It's no fun being a martyr to the cause if you're in a soup line.

[sometimes_miss]

Despite what anyone else may say, especially regarding the fact that it shouldn't be important whether you are tg or cd or anything, for that matter, it that you should always err on the side of caution. Even if there are some people that will support you should you decide to 'come out', if there is any reason that doing so will cause any type of problems for you, then don't do it unless you want to have to deal with those problems every day for the rest of your life. As someone else wrote, you can't put the toothpaste back into the tube.

[Dayna]

Be glad that you have co-workers who will defend you; perhaps you can come out to them one day, but do it on YOUR terms. Although I have not come out to anyone other than my wife (and my sisters here on the 'board, of course), if confronted tomorrow I think I'd be likely to say, "Why yes I am a cross-dresser. Next question?"

You will know when you are ready.

Now, one thing that does surprise me is that by and large, I only saw one prior reply that mentioned the illegality of what happened. If your co-workers are sitting together in a room, on company time, discussing your femininity / sexuality, then you dear are working in a hostile environment. That is against the law, and you should never have to wonder what anyone is thinking about you--or how they may be treating you (negatively) because of who they suspect you are.

I strongly encourage you to have a confidential meeting with your Human Resources Manager, and have them document the incident (no, you do not have to tell them you are anything, other than uncomfortable with the way you were treated).

I pray that everyone at your workplace with drop it, and treat you with equal respect; but if there is an incident--teasing, inappropriate jokes, or God-forbid a confrontation, you want the law on your side.

Just my 2 cents.

Good luck, and be careful.

[Rachel Morley]

No I don't think you made a mistake. It's none of their business what you do or don't do to your body and it doesn't mean you are gay if you are effeminate. I think you made a wise decision to keep quiet about being a CDer and just told them only what you want them to know. I too have shaved arms and thin tweezed eyebrows and if anyone mentioned it to me I would just say, I know seems unusual but I Happen to prefer it.

At the end of the day, they can't fire you for it and as long as you don't do anything to give them cause to claim "poor work performance" ... it's their problem not yours.

[Barbara Dugan]

Just a quick update, I had my regular haircut and had my brows waxed and they noticed but this time nobody said anything..I guess they got over it