I had to go to Walmart today. I went by the bra section but couldn't even get up the nerve to slow down, much less stop and look. I imagine I would about have a heart attack going through the checkout line with one.
I need help!
I had to go to Walmart today. I went by the bra section but couldn't even get up the nerve to slow down, much less stop and look. I imagine I would about have a heart attack going through the checkout line with one.
I need help!
One way to over come your fears is to keep repeating the steps until you feel confident enough to complete the whole process, look, touch, purchase and leave. The more you walk through and stop to at least look at what they have and familiarize yourself where everything that you want is, the more relaxed you will be. One day you will actually stop to smell and touch the roses. I bet the next time after that you will pick a rose and buy it. Good luck.
Linda,
Just do it. Those people don't care what any body buys they are there just to finish their shift and when it is busy they don't even look up to see who they are waiting on. How many times do I or my wife goes thru the line while the other one goes a head so no one knows if it is for me or my wife and no one cares. So Linda look around and study people for a little while and you will see that no body cares... and just do it.
First of all, women buy all sorts of things for men. Second, you may just be checking out for your wife. They can't possibly know.
Personally, I've been waiting for a checkout person to give me any kind of hard time so I can belittle them!! So far I've been frustrated in that everyone has not given me any kind of hard time!
On the other extreme, female SAs have been so impressed that I would 1) shop for my wife or 2) actually shop for me (in the case of makeup, especially)! They want our money!!!
tina
Back in April when I wasn't passable I just walked into Target, bought my body shaper and bra, went to the cashier, paid for it, and left.
It's not really a big deal. The likelihood of them asking is pretty nil and, if they do ask, just say that you're trying out for some crazy reality show and you have to "WOW" them at the auditions
Linda, take a close look at what you are actually afraid of. If you are in the closet and you don't want friends/family to know you CD, go to another town and shop there. The shop assistants really really don't care what you are buying if your money is good. Trust us - we've done it and it works.
I shop for Ruth's clothes both in drab and as Ruth, and there's really no difference except if I want to try something on (I'd rather be en femme to do that, though I know some of our members are happy to do it in drab).
[SIZE="2"]Always be true to yourself because the people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.[/SIZE]
I'm afraid I would pass out right there in the store. Even in another town.Originally Posted by Ruth
I wish there was a CD store not too far away (but not too close either) but I haven't been able to locate one. I think I could handle that.
This is good advice. I wish I could follow it.
Finding a store with the "self ckeck-out" helps a lot.
It was like that when I got here... I wasn't here when that happened...Second shift musta done that...
Linda, I know how you feel. I posted this story a few months back, but I had stopped at a Wal-Mart while passing through a neighboring town and picked up a bra. All of the self-checkout lines were filled with 3 or more people, so I went to the express lane. I put my bra on the conveyor and the clerk picked it up, scanned it, looked at me, and while putting it in the bag said, "I'm not even going to say anything." I was outed right there and I knew it, but I used the, "it's for the wife and I think this is the size she said to get" excuse.
Get that said to you, and yeah, it will set you back. I would like to get another bra, but I keep thinking about what she said and just can't get the nerve to do it yet. But the time and opportunity will someday come again.
again like said so so many times before . check out people dont care and dont think like we do to them its just like another tin of beans going over he checkout
yes i have been there but there is no need to be frightened be bold and confident and it will go well , just be confident and if you see anybody while brouseing just smile,that helps a long way .
this weekend how could i hide ( and why anyway) the fact my size 47 eu (12us) heels where not mine when i they needed re-heeling in a heel bar . Best way is dont . i was just honest from the start " can you fix my shoes" bang !!! all answered in one sentence no funny thoughts from there side , and by saying that at the start it lead to a nice conversation. not one where you know the person is thinking something and saying another thing .i
be bold hang in ther and it will come and you will end up cracking it
Ok, I've been reading all the feedback and I've decided that I'm going to Wal Mart... I need to get some items anyhow, but just for Linda I'm gonna buy something femme and tell you how it goes later. If all goes well then hopefully it helps you, if not I'll pretend it did, or have a great story to tell. I'll even post the pic of what I bought. I started a thread earlier about how terryfied I am of the big stores. This will be therapy.
ok girls here goes...ttyl
Take Care,
Mishell
Mi~in a~Shell
But then wouldn't you be worried that someone would find out you were shopping at a CD'ing store? See the dilemma?
Anyways, I've gone shopping for Jessie's clothes while in drab, albeit with my gf. At first, the gf was very near at all times, but she started wandering off more and more, leaving me to my own devices.
So, I turned it into a mission. I've come up with a reasonable excuse (buying clothes for my sister / niece / daughter, depending upon who might ever ask me), and I make it look like that is what I am doing. I'll hang a skirt on a rack, and hold a top against it, as if it is a scientific experiment. I study it, making it like I am wondering how it will look like on whoever it is I am allegedly buying it for.
Bras are a little more nerve wracking, but apply the same principles. Boldly approach, have a cover story ready, and make it look like you are doing nothing wrong. You aren't - you have as much right to buy any article of clothing as the next person does. Have some other things in your cart to bury the bra under, if that helps. Also, make good and sure that the price tags are attached, so that you don't have them doing a price check on a bra for you.
Good luck, Linda. It can only get easier for you.
I'm really brave when I'm at the computer but once I'm in the store the whole feeling changes UNTIL I've had enough himming and hawwing around (maybe a couple of trips to the store etc. Then I just say what the heck and do it - usually no problems.
I just wish I could think up the quick responses for stupid comments made by clerks. For example - the one you mentioned above:
"I'm not even going to say anything."
Responses -
"Then neither will I".
Or "Thanks."
Or "I'll gladly go someplace else."
But I would more likely say what you did - someday I'll be brave.
Cashiers don't really care what or why you are buying something. But if it still bothers you then order online.
Michelle
I agree with the general post since I did my first shopping for women's jeans at Walmart on Saturday. I had my thong on under my shorts so I could really get the feel of tight jeans. I picked some out and went to the dressing room. Male and female are just across from each other. I tried on the jeans and then looked down and my toenails were red. I had forgot and really started laughing since there is a big space under the door and people all around. Be brave.
Linda,
Only you can give yourself "permission" to be a crossdresser and that it is O.K. for you to buy female clothing for yourself anytime you want. No one else can do that for you. Nor should they have to.
I don't recall anyone giving "permission" to the GG's to shop for jeans, shirts, runners, and the like in the Men's section of department stores etc. - they "just do it " as the Nike slogan says. They also never asked anyone's "permission" when they abandoned pantyhose in droves, began wearing pants, started smoking, and began moving into traditional men's' jobs i.e. firefighters, police work, construction, mechanics, pilots, the military etc.
Keep reading the posts on this forum and you will see tons of examples from other crossdressers who have taken that particular plunge as well as mustering up the courage to go out in public en femme and have lived to tell the tale. In other words, start thinking like that little steam engine from the children's story that said "I can, I can, I can..." when it faced its first steep hill.
And while you're at it, think of a smart and witty line that you can use on anyone who tries to embarrass you in this fashion with their inappropriate comments. The primary intent of this strategy would be to turn these comments around for use against those ill-mannered jerks and thereby put them in the same awkward situation that they tried to put you in. Their smugness will leave them totally unprepared for being blindsided in this way, and they will undoubtedly think twice before pulling that same stunt on someone else the in future.
Just sayin'...
I like to shop at kohl's because I can look through the online catalogue, so when I get to the store I already know what I want.
Its not a contest. If you are uncomfortable shopping in person - shop on line. Its OK...you're not being graded! Do what you feel comfortable with. If your attitude about shopping in person changes later, that's fine too. SAs want to help, cashiers could care less as long as they get paid.
First let me tell you something about Walmart. For CD research I sat in a booth at the subway (inside Walmart) and watched the people come and go. i came a way with the belief that you could put any member of ZZ Top in a dress and he could pass. The dregs of society pass through there every day and no one cares! That being said I have shopped there both in drab and femme. No one cares! The $8 an hour cashiers couldn't care less what you buy or what you look like. I got my "girl glasses" from Walmart optical. Nothing was said. I loaded up my cart last trib (in drab) with 2 bras, 3 tops, one of those silcone strapless bras (great for cleavage creation), about $100 worth of makeup, a real cute denim purse, a wallet, 2 watches, and a 5 blade Diva razor with skintastic shave cream. It was obvious it was all for me. [SIZE="4"]No one cared.[/SIZE]
So just get out there and do it hun. Trust me it gets easier every time. In a couple of weeks you'll wonder what all the nerves are about. Besides who cares what they think anyway.
Remember it takes real balls to be a lady.
I believe therefore I can [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I know how you feel I also have had those same feelings.But one day just went in and did what I came to do browesed the panties and braw even thow I didnt find a braw I did find many cute pairs of pantie that I bought. The sales associate asked me how my day was and that was it
Linda,I had to go to Walmart today. I went by the bra section but couldn't even get up the nerve to slow down, much less stop and look. I imagine I would about have a heart attack going through the checkout line with one.
I need help!
Funny, this morning I was at Target for the express purpose of buying hosiery. I psyched myself up, suppressed the sickness in my stomach, and marched to that section of the store. And right past that section of the store, to the sandwich bags, paper towels, etc. I felt like the biggest failure. In my head, I know that the store clerks don't care, but this seems impossible.
Ok, so I went to Wal-Mart, and I hovered for about 10 minutes around the womans section, looking at pretty much everything. I think I had the courage, but I really didn't see anything I REALLY wanted, but everyones right, no one cared, except this lady that was restocking, she followed me everywhere, almost asked if I needed help but I scurried off before she got a chance. I did however go to a local smut shop and buy some cute panties, some spanky shorts and some hosiery, so it wasn't all a loss. Good luck Linda, sorry I couldn't be a better example :-)
Take Care,
Mishell
Mi~in a~Shell
I understand everybodies nervousness and am starting to break out of it. I walk into a store and say, I wish I could try all these pretty thngs on but then walk right past them. I think this last weekend I made a big step forward by going to Walmart and buying jeans. I wish there was a GG store that would open just for CD's and Transgenders off hours. Gosh, they would rake in the money.
Yeah, but if you smell the lingerie, you'd probably be taken for a pervert
At first when you're getting used to it, pick out what you want, and in your mind you can just think "people will assume I'm buying it for my wife/girlfriend" and remember, most people aren't paying attention anyway.
[SIZE="3"]Gender is a state of mind[/SIZE]
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Walmart is the best for discreet situations! Most of the people in there are just trying to get in and get out or keep up with their kids. I am able to browse around no problem, and then check out at the self check out. Just go for it!
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