[SIZE="3"]If a cashier gives you a smart remark, say what Billy Cunningham, the Sunday night radio talk show guy says! It's a great night, to be an American![/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]If a cashier gives you a smart remark, say what Billy Cunningham, the Sunday night radio talk show guy says! It's a great night, to be an American![/SIZE]
I have had the same problem that you have had, Linda. I just grin and bear it. As a couple others said, most SA won't say anything, what their thinking who knows, but they won't say anything. That doesn't mean of course that I'm not still nervous when I walk up to the checkout line, I am. I just grin and bear it.Originally Posted by linda allen
I had to go to Walmart today. I went by the bra section but couldn't even get up the nerve to slow down, much less stop and look. I imagine I would about have a heart attack going through the checkout line with one.
I need help!
Self-Checkout seems to be a thing of the past. Only store that had it here was Wal-Mart. When they remodeled our local store, they removed the self-checkout. So no local store has self-checkout anymore, at least not around here.This is good advice. I wish I could follow it.
Finding a store with the "self ckeck-out" helps a lot.
My suggestion would be to find a "special lingerie store" ie a CD friendly store and then you can feel comfortable choosing,selecting and even trying before you buy ...even have a proper fitting can do wonders for your confidence and then you may find it easier to shop at other stores with some more knowledge of size and comfort etc..all part of the great shopping experiences you can have as a TV/CD/TG /TS.How far you are comfortable to go should be your choice ,not others as long as you put one heel in front of the other and head held high!
I'd probably be doubly evil and say 'It's not for me, it's for my boyfriend'. That ought to throw them totally ;-)
I completely understand those feelings of being questioned about why you are looking at bras.
First, find a Wal-Mart with a self-checkout. They are more often in the larger stores. That solves the cashier issue.
Next, go early in the morning to shop. There will be fewer people in the store.
Next, when you get to the section with bras, find out that you need to tie your shoe. Don't laugh, it works! If no ne is close by, start looking.
Don't feel that yo need to select something the first time you look.
Good luck!
Freddy
Ah, the good old days. Gosh, I remember when buying what I really wanted was a time of dread and guilt.
So, what advice to give to you young un's? (dressing wise, not necessarily age wise).
Fear is exactly what it is. Something we build up inside ourselves. People may make us feel fearful - but what is it we are really afraid of? Is it the people themselves we are afraid of? Take a look at the sweet girl behind the counter who is going to take your money. What is it about her that is so scary? She might make a mention (as has happened to a couple of brave venturers) that she thinks she knows what you want the bra/knickers/stockings for. So what? Are you going to be sitting down with her at dinner sometime and she will make a big commotion about your purchases? Why is it that we care so much about what strangers think? I love the comment about it being for your boyfriend LOL.
So, suck it up princess if you want to make the purchases you want. A few moments of discomfort with a stranger and you will walk out of there with something that will make you feel proud you have been so brave to purchase. Yes, I do still remember the first bra I bought and the feeling of elation at my bravery and gaul.
And after you do this a couple of dozen times, you too will be wondering what all the fuss was about.
Most of all, have fun.
Freedom to be an individual is all powerful
I remember buying at first and being so nervous and pretending I was buying for a gg,But now when they say something like "Oh, you are getting your girlfriend something" I love to smile and say "No, this is for me" It also makes it easier when a SA is trying to help since they can see what size you are. It makes it a little more fun since I only shop in drab.Trust me it will get easier the more you do it.Just make sure you have price tags on the items since you don't want to get to the register and someone says "Price check on Panties.' Ha, Have fun shopping.
The best way I have found in Walmart or Target is to go get a birthday card before going to the women's department. With that in hand, it almost like a permission slip to be there. SAs are very helpful if you get confused. You can buy just about anything.
Is probably one of the BEST places to shop. The cashiers and many of the other employees are paid at or near minimum wage, and their only concern is when the next break or quitting time is, much less scrutinize someone's purchases. Once you get the nerve to do it, you'll be shopping like a professional GG in no time! Good luck. Erickka
It's big around here. The ones at Walmart aren't open all the time but when they are, there's still one person monitoring them.
been there done that, boy do I know the feeling but it gets easier with time and also how does the person at the check out stand know that its for you so I would just do it and give it a whirl!
Girls,
I appreciate all the help. I would shop on-line but my wife would be home when the package arrives. I'm going to try to get up the nerve this week while she's out of town to just go in the store and buy what I want. Cash, no credit card statement.
Anyone have a link for CD friendly stores?
A few weeks back I went to Wal Mart, which I seldom do, and happened through the shoe department and low and behold is a nice pair of loafers in a size 11, just what I need. I grabed them and then off to check out the hoisery dept and picked up a pair of pantyhose. Don't usual do this but the shoes were to nice to pass up. When I got up front, I picked an elderly checkout lady and put them on the counter, she scanned them and bagged them, and as she handed me my change, she looked at me and said "I hope they fit", I replied " Yea, me too". A little smile and I was off. They don't care, it's a job. Happy shopping.
Not so sure about the early morning part, unless you go really early. Mornings are typically when the stay-at-home moms take their young children out with them on their errands, as the afternoons are usually dedicated to nap time. When shopping mid-morning, it is usually all one can do to avoid being run over by SUV-sized strollers.
Personally, I find the "golden" time for my femme shopping to be between right after lunchtime and the late afternoon when the schools let out. Ditto for between about 5:00 P.M. and 7:00 P.M. when most folks are at home having supper.
I was the same way, but after I did purchase something at a store it was really no big deal. I made it out to be more then what it was, now i do it all the time! If you still cant do it then order online.
The OP doesn't want to shop online because the packages will be delivered and the wife will wonder. See how one problem leads to another.
Those who are in the closet won't love me for saying this, but life is a lot easier if you open up to your nearest and dearest.
[SIZE="2"]Always be true to yourself because the people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.[/SIZE]
Amanda and Linda. I promise it absolutely isn't impossible - in fact it is almost the opposite; real fun. I had days like you when I first started but kept trying, day after day, until I managed to buy what I wanted.
I remember walking to work past a boutique with a dress I really wanted in the mirror. I was dressing occasionally in the gay village at the time so it mattered to me. All week I longed for the dress but couldn't pluck up the courage.
Eventually on the Friday I had to do it. The sales girl was brilliant and even let me try it on in changing room.
But by thewn I had worked out that the only way to do this was to be totally honest. As soon as you say the dress is for me things open up.
I promise.
Keep trying hons,
Hugs
I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
I need to shout, to scream out loud,
I am Tricia I am she,
I am who I want to be
http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/
When I first started going into department stores, I started with the women's night gowns and PJ's. Start going around either X-Mas or Valentine's Day (..if you can wait that long) They are always right next to the rest of the lingerie department and there are plenty of men at that time of year around that section. You can browse and build up some confidence....you will eventually have a lot of fun doing what girls like to do!!
I have to second this. The more I shop the more I realize most people could really care less what you are doing. I did the same thing by the pantyhose rack when I was much younger and left empty handed. It does get easier the more you do it. To get over the hump, work out a plausible story like buying for a so or gf as a surprise.
I have been played with at the register about my purchases like super high heels and lately I play back but typically I laugh it off and ask if their return policy covers my wife not liking the style.
and I know that many others do too. If not now .. then at some point in our CDing lives we've all had to overcome the same problem.
These days you have the option of buying on-line ... and those who have suggested it are giving you good advice. It's a simple and safe alternative.
Others have said 'just do it'. They're right to. And, like riding a bike, it's easier to just hop on and ride then intellectually reasoning that the gyroscopic effect will keep you upright when you start moving. It makes sense, but it doesn't really help You just have to do it.
And that's why I know how you feel. As Susan, I've bought bras easily enough. I've had fitting (O, joy) ... in fact, I love shopping.
But ... en drab ... my heart beats faster when I walk by the woman's clothing department. What will people think? I can't do this? What will I do if the SA makes a wisecrack? What will I do if I bump into a client or someone who knows me?
So, I understand.
The real problem however, is in ourselves.
Go to another town ... master your heart ... and do it. Everyone on the board is right.
1 - Go to another town ... or to a part of town you and your family don't normally frequent.
2 - Remember, SAs don't really care. In fact, I have found several that look forward to seeing me en drab and help me shop. They have arranged for frequent shopper cards and don't bat an eye. When I find one of these, I try to shop during her shift.
3 - If you do find a cashier who makes a snide comment. Treat them like you would treat a schoolyard bully. Don't shrink away .. do the opposite. Say something like, 'Excuse me, what did you say? Are you making a side comment? Get your supervisor over here". They won't do it again.
Linda ... good luck and be well.
Hugs
Susan
Hm? I'm not sure that's quite right. When I was starting out I visited most of the Wal-Marts in metro Denver, because even with self-checkouts I didn't want to buy girl clothes too many times in the same place. What I found was that the SuperCenters (with a full grocery department) don't have self-checkouts, but the non-super stores do.
However, maybe it's just coincidence, but the last several times I've been to Wal-Mart, the cashier watching the self-checkouts has always volunteered to ring me up in person. Fortunately for me I stopped caring some time ago.
Certain holidays are good too, if you happen to be free. My first time was about 10 AM on Easter Sunday. Hardly anybody was in the store.
Hey, that could happen! For example, there is a local Maurice's store (www.maurices.com) that had a shopping party for some local girls recently (I guess it was a Sunday evening). I've heard everybody had a great time. You would probably have to take the initiative, and you'd want to organize a good solid group of friends with enough money to make it worthwhile. But as everyone says, whatever they may privately think about you, they want your money. So give it a shot if you dare!
The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.
--Eleanor Roosevelt
I also had the same feelings,especially when being the only guy in the womens department,so I tackled it by doing things that calmed me down.Things like going the first thing in the morning,the store is usually empty then.Throwing a few guy items in my cart as well,just made me feel better about it.Take my time,keep my heart rate down and breath deep,try to keep telling myself,it isn't anyone else's business and all my fears are simply my own imagination running away with itself.
Just suck up those big girl panties and do it. Nobody cares who buys what
Personally, I "built up" the courage to buy certain things at Walmart/Target etc by buying less obvious stuff... start off by buying a night shirt or pajamas or a sweater or something that everyone would naturally assume was a gift. I built up my confidence a little this way... now of course I don't care, I walk in, get what I want and pay & leave. I do still occasionally attempt to avoid certain cashiers that have the "look" of being intolerant, but honestly that is a crap shoot as I'm sure many will agree and I've NEVER been given a comment that made me feel awkward anyway. Now, if you go into a VS store or similar... LOL you might as well just grab what you came for
VS Fan
The RETURNS were MUCH WORSE than the purchases for me!
And I had many, until I found out which I sizes I was!
Now, I buy ALL my girdles, bras, and privates via mail order! I find it WAY more convenient, cheaper, and return things without a second thot now!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
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