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Thread: The ongoing psychology of a crossdresser

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  1. #1
    Not sure where I am yet Jay Cee's Avatar
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    The ongoing psychology of a crossdresser

    Since I came out to my gf, and have started wearing femme clothes, I notice my mindset has changed. It's not just when I'm dressed, either - it's pretty much constant.

    So far, I've noticed much less tolerance towards rude and crude behaviour, especially when someone less fortunate is the target. I also do not (partially) base my self worth on my musculature, or my ability to lift something heavy at work. I no longer have my rage, which I mentioned in another thread. I'm not quite as inclined to push myself physically while hiking or biking, and I'm not quite as fond of backwoods camping as I was. Oh, and my courage level seems to have gone down a bit - stunts that I used to do with ease on my mountain bike now seem much more difficult.

    Anyone care to speculate as to the why, or have you had similar experiences?

    Thanks

    Jessie

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Amanda22's Avatar
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    Hi Jessie,

    Interesting question you pose. Although I'm at the very beginning of my life as a crossdresser who has shared this information with a supportive wife, I've already noticed the same thing. Reading your post, I agree that feminine clothing (the more feminine the better) causes me to slow down, be more thoughtful, and be more accepting of my authentic self. But here's the key for myself... This is the way is is supposed to be!. My entire life, I've been hiding a secret. The suppression of my female self with male clothing that society says is the only acceptable choice has not been healthy. It has fostered feelings of regret, sorrow, guilt, shame, you name it. Now that myself and my wife are celebrating my CDing, those emotions have disappeared. I'm serious.

    So I don't see feminine clothing as adding something to my personality, but removing a barrier to a more positive, loving, caring, life. Something that was there all along. It is truly remarkable. I think that's what you may be alluding to. Isn't CDing wonderful?

  3. #3
    Member Debutante's Avatar
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    Excellent thread. I have had the same feelings. Slowning down, caring, deliberate actions.... slowing down that masculine, rush-rush energy. I notice this is how women act, and it's a good thing to accept one's fem. energy and it's resulting feelings, emtotions, and behaviors. It means getting to be more whole, more full, and accept the feminine side in a deeper way. I've had to struggle with that...
    --------
    Love your woman within...

    Know thy self -- Be your true self......

  4. #4
    Silver Member AKAMichelle's Avatar
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    Your feminine side is taking over. Females see danger and guys simply ignore it. A good blending of those polar opposites would be nice.
    Michelle

  5. #5
    The Girl will Out! Kaz's Avatar
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    Hi Jessie,

    I know exactly what you mean. The more you accept her the more she will integrate and you will have to work out your own balance. I thought I had got that sussed and found my balance, but then I hit a problem at home this week. I may have gone a little too far!

    What I have found from discussions here is that there is a lot of variation in what we want and what we will accept, and likewise in what our partners will accept and indeed in some cases want. Guess we all have our own journeys!

    Kaz xx

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member
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    maybe, maybe not

    It may be that you are just more relaxed now that cat is out of the bag. Less life stress. The clothes are simply a means to an end in this case. Reverse what your saying and apply it to women. A meek, stepped on woman decides she needs to stand up to her domineering husband and dons combat boots, leather jacket, etc. That isn't going to do it either. It isn't goint to provide her with a mindset that she needs to develop to overcome her problems.
    It has been said in a number of threads that dressing does seem to relax one, but taking it too far may be an error. I have noticed some similar changes in myself in this regard but I assume it is acceptanc of what I do and relaxation rather than constant worry obout perception or acceptance by others.
    Just an idea.

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