[SIZE="3"]For those who go out, I have a question; do you still get nervous before opening the door and leaving? ;^)
I have been out quite a bit - day and night, alternative and mainline, many different places. I find I still get nervous before leaving my house / hotel room. Is this true for any of you? If so, what do you do to settle yourself?[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]Daenna[/SIZE]
I used to get a little nervous when already out the door. Now, I am pretty much over all that except for that occasional hesitation using public transportation, being in a way trapped in one location with no way out, besides the next stop.
Daenna, I can't say that I do. The way I figure it, what do I have to be nervous about? I mean, it's not like I'm planning on robbing bank or something. Am I not entitled to buy groceries, enjoy a movie, spend a day at an amusement park, try cosmetics, shop for clothes, or any other activity of daily living I choose to engage in? I have yet to encounter a sign saying, "Men in skirts and/or dresses, your money is not welcome here."
Here's a thought... people are generally nervous doing things they lack confidence doing or fear failing doing well. I simply cannot fail by being myself. I start having s good time the moment I hit the door!
Fulltime girl on the inside.
Lipstick=confidence
[SIZE=4]Holly[/SIZE]
I still get nervous, but it's a lot like jumping in a swimming pool. It's so much colder if you ease in slowly instead of just jumping in. I prepare the best I can before leaving the house or room, that one last look top to bottom to make sure everything is as good as it's going to get. Then if I approve of the look I give myself a spritz of perfume as a reminder that I'm okay. Having the perfume as the last thing helps me if I begin to worry. I just take a deep breath and the scent reminds me "all is well", then I smile and go about my business.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
For me, the burst of adrenaline before stepping out en femme is the same that I feel when it is time to step on stage in a role.
In both scenarios, I am in costume and will be playing a different part than in my daily life.
But the real world stage is huge, there is only a bare outline of a script and it took time for me to feel comfortable while improvising.
What's between your legs and what you like to do with it is your business, not mine. Please give me the same courtesy.
Everyone who refers to sexuality as a preference reveals their own bisexuality.
I hope to live long enough to see a time when one's sexuality or gender identity is no more important than one's religion or politics.
DO link up with your local support group. It's an easy way to meet similar people, help others, educate the public and be part of the political process.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tallelsa/
Sure, it's part of the rush...guess that's one reason why I only smoke when I'm en femme, a little nicotine hit calms me down. Once I've had my first encounter, I settle down and sometimes I almost forget who I really am. Of course, first date jitters are something else, even real girls have those!
For over a year I haven't gone full out including wig and makeup; I grew my hair out instead. If it has been several weeks since I was last out in a skirt or (more so) a dress, then when I go out, I might feel a bit apprehensive. Of course apprehensive if it is a short skirt or short dress, but even if there is no real question of modesty, if the garment is "unquestionably female" then I can start out a bit nervous, or get a bit nervous as I enter a crowd, or as I enter a more isolated place.
For example, I have a number of blue denim skirts, and as long as they are more than half-way down to the knee, no-one gives a hoot, as blue denim is practically a unisex fabric now. But for example my green and black and slightly lacy skirt is a color and trim combination almost never worn by males around here, so I am no longer wearing something that people can mentally translate in to "guy shorts that are cut a bit unusually": instead I am decidedly wearing a female garment. It doesn't have to be attention-getting to have this effect; for example I have an light-colored skirt that is on the boundary between yellow, brown, and orange -- quite subdued, but you wouldn't see a guy wearing pants made out of it.
Likewise, I have some blue denim dresses, and people don't pay much attention to them. I also have a number of suit/skirt or suit/dress combos, and people don't pay a lot of attention to those either... jacket covers the top, the bottom is not flashy, so people can map it into "close enough" to guy-wear. But let me put on one of my green dresses, and that's a DRESS, dangit... and I get a bit anxious about whether today will be the day people won't accept it or will stare or young punks will call me "faggot", or so on.
I am not consistent about such things. Two weeks ago I went out a couple of times in one of my red dresses, and the anxiety there was at the time of choosing the garment for the day, "is it too much?". But once I had put it on me to see how I looked, I was fine and there was no anxiety about going out in it either day (one of which was about 10 hours.)
[SIZE=2]Well said Holly. It's posts like this that helps me to build confidence in myself. I have yet to venture outside my front door en femme, but when the day comes that I do...I will be remembering this and all the other brave stories from all of you that have no fear. One day it will happen..[/SIZE]Originally Posted by Holly
[SIZE=3]~Sara~[/SIZE]
Not any more. Going out of the door, even if there are neighbors just the other side of the fence, don't bother me. These days, the only time I might get nervous is when I'm in a very busy public place and there are a lot of people up very close to me, like in a crowd. Last time this happened was a busy Saturday afternoon at the King Tut Exhibition at the De Young Museum in San Francisco. Lots of people, teens, families, etc all up close even brushing shoulders with me it was so packed as we walked through the exhibit. I come out of that one ok though.
.
The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
As many others have already said, I use to but not really anymore. Going out as Nicole has become a very normal everyday experience for me. In fact, I now feel more comfortable going out as Nicole than I do in drab.
For me it's getting by the mirror on the way out the door. I'm my own worst critic, if a hair is out of place I panic. It's really not that bad. But I do give myself a once over before leaving. And the same holds true when I exit the car one last look in the mirror before hopping out. Once I'm out the door I'm fine.
Renee
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] [SIZE="2"]Huggs, Renee[/SIZE]
Actually, I'm normally scared...but mainly that I'll slip in heels! I nearly broke a leg on the sidewalk going from my car to a party.
I used to ger nervous, but now I have acepted who I am and I don't cae who knows it, so no not any more,
i only get nervous when trying to leave the door when my "SuperCop/FamilyMan®" neighbor and family are at home and their kids are riding their bicycles in my driveway, which he uses...that's just how my property is arranged. They don't know this side of me. They're also close friends with my parents. Once I'm in the car, and out in public, I'm much more at ease.
Yeah, people might stare or "clock" me, I',m not bothered by that. So far, i have gotten nothing but smiles.
After over 50 years of dressing and over six full time I completely at ease, except for my new male, neighbor ( 40's )who seems to be at home at all times and is always starring out of the window. He gives me the creeps, and he does not like CD'es, at least not this one.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
Holly got it exactly right (as she pretty much always does, I just love learning from her!) -- we are simply going about our business peacefully and lawfully, we collectively provide a huge number of jobs for our neighbors, and we are overwhelmingly good people. Who has any right to second-guess us?
I only get a little nervous if my very conservative and religious next-door neighbor is out and about when I leave the house. So it lasts for about the 15 feet from the back door to the car, then. Otherwise, I come and go as I please these days, and it feels natural and normal to be doing it. It took many years to get to that point, though.
- Diane
usually not, if I do get nervous, it's just the first few seconfs when out
[SIZE="2"]Yes, I still get nervous, since my crossdressing is inherently clandestine, even on the best of days. It’s not so much fear as it’s a desire to go around unnoticed and unbothered, becoming completely immersed in something I love to do. In my case, these moments are rare, and I plan for an experience – I want it to go well, if only for the story (or the memory), so I get nervous. I actually delay pleasure, which helps to “settle” myself to a certain extent, but once I’m out and about I’m OK. Vulnerability will creep up on me from time to time like a shadow, but I’m somehow able to convince myself that all is well – crossdressing has the power to do that, but it comes with experience…
Yes if I haven't been out for a while. But normally no.
The only reason I get nervous when going out is that when I am dressed I am more fearful of being assaulted by random people. I know to some extent that this is irrational. Being dressed in itself does not make me nervous.
I feel excited and anxious going out too, but in a positive way, like stage fright.
Last edited by Kathryn Martin; 09-13-2010 at 05:01 PM.
Yes every day. You never know what the day will bring who we will meet or what adventure we will have. I tend to worry about a lot of things, do I have enough money to pay my bills, will my family be ok, how will life be when I finally retire. At work will I get my work done on time. Oh my the list just goes on and on. I worry so much that I am worried I will forget to get dressed and leave the house naked. Who does not worry about something. I guess all I can do is just keep going and worry that all the worry does not kill me.
Yes - but the good news is that it is short lived. Because once you are on the other side of the door, the nervousness starts to subside.
Michelle
I still get a bit nervous, but it's more a feeling of anticipation. It begins when the make up kit opens, and builds to a crescendo to when I am walking through the doors of the shopping mall. Then it's almost always a couple of wonderful hours wandering and mingling
The first time I went out I felt Sheer Terror. My anxiety level has diminished considerably since then. As I leave my hotel room or my house I am a bit nervous, my feelings are a combination of the uncertainity of facing new situations and the anticipation of having a good time. It take only a few moments for the nervousness to go away and I feel mre self assured and confident.
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