I find it more and more difficult to function as a male to female individual than ever before in my adult life. I am in a sales position and work for a small company that does not pressure and micro manage everyday for productivity. It is becoming harder for me to become motivated to get out a see clients on an everyday basis. I know this in my job and my major money source but I don't seem to be effected by this. I go to bed and wake up to the though of living as Danalynn more now than ever. Am I becoming depressed an it's taking a toll on me mentally or am I Becoming so consumed with Danalynn that I'm headed down a path of a financial and mental downfall. I am lucky that my spouse has a very good paying job as a nurse and without her we would be in dire straits.
I am 53 and I have a chronic lung disease and I'm on medication that one of the side effects is a loss of energy and fatigue. I have had this disease for 10 years now and my body is being negatively effected also. I'm not a very happy person inside an it's starting to show on the outside. My SO just said to me yesterday that I look very sad and she is so right. I can't seem to get going even when in my mind I want to get out a take on the world head on. I will say that the www has opened alot of doors for those who never had a chance to let their true feelings out about who they are to have such support other than their spouse. But it also can take control of your life to where that all you want to do.
Sorry for such a downer of a post but I guess my inner feeling are showing. Danalynn is very important in my life to a point now that it has moved beyond CDing and more of who I am an want to be but I know that will probably never happen so maybe that's contributing yo my sadness lol.
Do you feel like I do or have ever felt the way I feel. Not sure why I chose to write a post on this subject other than to feel that I'm not alone and have oters sisters who struggle wig the same feelings and what did you do that changed your mental outlook and brought some happiness to your life and your every day existence.
One important thing I left out was that my SO has known about my Cding for over 15 years. It was very bad at first but we have worked thru the hard times and we are at a very good place with it as part of our marriage but it's so much more now. Danalynn is real and I'm afraid she will never go away and I don't won't her to.
Please share your most honest comments whether good or bad. Thank you for letting me open up and share what's in my heart.