Is it only me who is more than happy just dressing for myself , be it in the closet .
I have no desire to go out en femme, I am built like a bloke and would never pass.
Betty
Is it only me who is more than happy just dressing for myself , be it in the closet .
I have no desire to go out en femme, I am built like a bloke and would never pass.
Betty
Each individual enjoys what they enjoy. I know that it would be a real stretch for me to pass - for numerous reasons. I go out in public because it gives me a real thrill. I'm expressing myself to everyone. Most people are so wrapped up in their own issues that they don't look. That's certainly true for me. I was meeting, in person for the first time, a girl that I had met in the forum. I walked right past her, not seeing her. Once I looked, it was obvious that she is not a GG.
Again, each person does what works for them. Don't worry about what others do, just enjoy yourself!
Freddy
You are totally allowed to do your CDing any way you want. Do what ever makes you happy. What works for me, doesn't have to work for you. Enjoy...BJ
Betty, I dressed for a long time before I ever went out, and thoroughly enjoyed it every time and didn't feel that I was missing something by not going out. I've been out many times, and even into a few stores and a club several times. It was fun, but going out isn't what drives me. As I get older, I go out less. My preferred makeup and dressup style is over-the-top, making it hard to pass as female. But I would rather make up and dress up my way than tone it down so I can go out and blend in without notice. Staying in means "no rules", just do whatever image in the mirror pleases me most. I know that there are many of us that don't need to go out dressed to have dressup fun.
Yes Betty, there are happy closeted cross dressers, I know, I am one. Maybe I could pass on a dark night, on an empty street, maybe not. But either way, I have no interest in going anywhere. I'm out to the wife, and have free roam of the house and a small secluded yard, and that seems to be as big a world as this old TV needs. Maybe if I lived in a larger city, with a larger Trans population, I might feel different, no wait, I did, and it didn't make a difference. I guess I was just born to be a closet Queen!
Tina B.
I'm in the closet too and I can't pass. I haven't really gone out in public but I underdress a lot. It keeps me going. One day I'd love to wake up and find myself 5'7" and 130 lbs! Not gonna happen. Anyway, am I happy? Yes to some degree. I love the femme side of me and am looking for other ways besides dressing to express that part of me in public. It's a real challenge. I think it all would be better with an accepting SO.
Rachel Denise
[SIZE="2"]“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. ‘Which road do I take?’ she asked. His response was a question: “Where do you want to go?’ ‘I don’t know,’ answered Alice. ‘Then,’ said the cat, ‘it doesn’t matter.' "
- Lewis Carroll[/SIZE]
Nothing wrong with what you are feeling, I think most of us started as closet CDs. I don't pass either but I finally got the nerve to go out and I like it, but that was what I wanted. Do what makes you happy.
I've only been CD for a short time, been dressing every day except a few and yes this made me feel better and did make me happy, but lately I'm very discontent with being limited to home and the urge to go out is very strong, but at the same time, I'm scared to death of attempting to do so, so am waiting until I can go out under safe and controlled conditions, such as just going to a TG friendly club, or in Provincetown, MA, then of course waiting for Halloween, but it feels too far away.
Nonetheless, I suppose being limited to home for now is good because I do need to learn so much more about not presenting my male characteristics and mannerisms, etc while enfemme, and certainly will need more makeup skills if going out.
Hi Betty,
Nothing wrong with being in the closet,i have no wish to go out,only my wife knows and supports me.Whatever level we dress to,being happy and enjoying it is what matters. Dont feel pressured because others go out.
I have been in the closet for years and will probably stay there. Don't know if I could ever tell anyone--although, I would like to come out to my wife, but I'm afraid she would reject me. As a late bloomer, I didn't start cding until almost 20 years of marriage. I enjoy dressing too much to quit (if that is even possible), but living in the closet definitely as its drawbacks--namely fear of discovery. I'm sure others have had close calls as well.
I wish it could be different, but I am OK with being in closet for now.
In the past, I've gone out dressed enfemme, and I really enjoyed it, but right now I can't do that so I just dress at home when I can, which is almost daily, and I find it quite satisfying. Someday I would like to go out fully female again, but I can wait, and enjoy my dressing at home.
Betty, I'm also perforce a closet dresser. I'm too big ever to pass, so my private dressing is my private fairyland trip. What I put on is entirely a flight of fancy and doesn't relate to the real world at all....as a previous respondant said...there are no rules when you dress alone. My wife knows, but is horrified, so I'll never come out to her. She hopes I'll chuck it all in and be 'normal' again.
I really admire the girls that go out and about..everybody have thier own reasons to dress and now I understand much better every single one of them but I really dont have a big desire to leave the closet
Hey Betty, I am a CD also being TG I have grown to the point of semi acceptance of my genetic look although transformed by HRT to somewhat in-between form by now. I am Alexia all on the inside and 24/7 I dream, I awake, I go about my day as Alexia and the mix of a guy who once thought he was a boss and now is just a part of an equation. Dressing en fem and all that goes with it wouldn't make me look of whom I am and feel, so I go about my business in drab non descriptive way. I find it freeing and I can finally be my self without making the whole world around me uncomfortable. Yes every so often I used to visit my closet and just put on a show, but that is what it felt to me like, a show. I wanted something more, something real and with HRT I am becoming physically who I am within. It will take time, and even if I don't arrive fully there, I am no longer shamed by being feminine and girly, this is who I am! I too, thought long ago that it will always remain in the closet but time have come when the desire to be true and feeling of living a lie was way too painful and strong. Only then I realized that time has come to aether end this charade or live the truth, I chose truth. So it took another 2 years and hormones to arrive where I am now but it was worth every painful moment on the way.
I can truly sing out loud now: Man, I feel like a woman
I am also in the closet but have ventured out late a knight to walk to the mail box and around the apt complex. I wish i had the nerve to go outmaybe some day i may take a trip to another town and just go for it.
I am out to a few like my x who visits here, I have to much stuff to try and hide it from her and she is cool with it. but i do not dress when she is here well not much out side of a knight gown. she has said that she will do a make over for me when i am ready.
Mistybtm
For now I am happy with safety, and security that the closet provides. The status quo is good, and I'm not really that eager to change it. I'll let my male version deal with the real world.
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All I want for Christmas is an Anita Model Synth
I feel the same --- Karen probably will spend her life in the closet. I just don't feel that desire to be out and about, taking the risk of being "read" or having a neighbor see a "female" with my build come out of my house knowing none lives here. The risks to my employment or just the relationship I have with friends and coworkers isn't worth it. I'm happy with what I can do at home, and it's naughty when I can pack "Karen's things" in a suitcase and stay in a hotel room for a change of scenery.
Karen
Originally Posted by Alexia Elliot
You are perfect the way you are!
Permission granted ! But you have to fill out a weekly report and mail it to us so we can be sure you are keeping your room clean, your closet organized and eating your vegetables.
I do not go out much either. We are only at the stage where there are surveillance cameras on light poles. I figure we still have a couple more years before we are required to have them mounted on our ceilings...lol.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Betty, as you know I too spend most of my feminine time in the closet as there is no way I would pass. I'm about to go out underdressed again (you know what happened last time hun!
It's great to know so many other girls enjoy the same level as we do. We can't all be stunningly feminine - as much as I would want to be!
Thanks for the thread - a good way of knowing that we have some many sisters in the same boat.
Yvonne x
Passing is not the only reason for going out. It is a goal that only a few of us will ever achieve. So don't let that be the only reason to stay locked away.
Michelle
Except for the hotel room this is pretty much me. Just not worth the hassle to be found out.I feel the same --- Karen probably will spend her life in the closet. I just don't feel that desire to be out and about, taking the risk of being "read" or having a neighbor see a "female" with my build come out of my house knowing none lives here. The risks to my employment or just the relationship I have with friends and coworkers isn't worth it. I'm happy with what I can do at home, and it's naughty when I can pack "Karen's things" in a suitcase and stay in a hotel room for a change of scenery.
Karen
Hi Betty, totally on your side, and the others who wish to keep their CD'ing secret. I'm only out to my sister, and have no overwhelming desire to rush out to tell all and sundry.
"She snuck up on me from behind. You'd think women would make more noise with those big high heels, but they don't, they've got this stealth thing going..."
When I crossdress it's usually when I'm craving for some private me-time and it doesn't involve other people, so there hasn't been much desire to go out in public anyway. The only thing I miss is being out in nature, I did go swimming en femme in the middle of the night this summer, and it felt absolutely wonderful.
And I can't ignore my male side either, having to sacrifice the beard, for instance. Interestingly my need to crossdress diminishes when I'm with a girl I fancy, but when I'm around a bunch of insecure guys I'm almost desperate.
Getting a nice new nightgown to wear on the boat at night has been on my to do list for some time now, but every time I'm ashore I run into said girl and I suddenly have other thoughts.
Iam also a closet dresser. I have two kids in there late teens living at home, that makes it hard for me to dress. For some reason my wife seems to know when i get frustrated. She will tell me to get some cloths and we will go for a country drive or just drive around so i could express Maria.I know being inside is the safest place,but what a feeling of the sun on your pantyhose against your legs. In the country my wife will tell me to get out of the car and take pictures.What a feeling of the cold or the wind blowing up my skirt. It makes me want more, but i love being a father,husband and man. But under dressing isnt enough. and the fear of the kids finding out ,sometime makes me wonder what makes me cater to Maria. I thank all of you for telling your stories, that makes it easier to know that iam not the only one feeling trapped. This community really helps me . Again i thank you all.
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