Passed the teenage girl test // sorta

[DeniseNJ]

It is something in the air, call it the pink fog but every fall I remember how daring I get and get more daring. I decided to print the picture that I posted on the 11th. It was a shot from the chest up. I go to this corner store to buy lottery tickets now and then. There are these 3 yound girls that work there, Tonight Ashley and Megan were working. They are kinda friendly with me, there about 18 or 19 years old. I made up a story that my wifes lesbian girl friend dressed me up the other day and told them I had a pic. Ashley said hey can you send her my way, she then confided in me that she enjoys being with girls. Ofcourse they wanted to see. They both said I looked great and said that I could pass for a girl. I said U really think so here Megan is telling me infrount of customers you look like a woman totally, you pass. Now seeing a picture and seeiung a cd in person is a big difference, I don't have the confidence or proper attitude yet to pass but I am working on it. They were both very excited and siad that they ment it.. OMG talk about being on a high. They asked who did my make up and I kinda lied, and said the woman helped me. I Don't want to scare these girls, around last Halloween I walked in the store in open toe heels and brightly polished toes and girly jeans and Ashley said she enjoyed me showing off. She told Megan that I came in the store wearing Heels before and now that girl wants to see me in heels. I told them I had a full shot in a dress and heels and they both wanna see. I dion't wanna seem like the town weirdo but it is exciting having this interest. I am wondering if I should come out and tell them that I am a CDer . I am a bit scared who they would tell, I was in guy sandles tonight and my toes were polished a OPI's Bubble bath with a clear top coat, and Ashley even commented on how cute they looked. Oh you could tell I had polish on and you know what I didn't care what people thought. I later went to my friends house and he looked right down at my feet and said ,Why are your nails so shinny, are you wearing nail polish, I said yes a light color with clear. He then said you look a little effeminate like that and I said so what . Why am I outting myself like this. I don't wanna self destruct and I wanna stay in the closet somewhat But it feels so good to show off my feminine side. So would just let it go or would you print out a picture and show it to the girls???? wondering what just happened tonight !!

[AKAMichelle]

What is the worse thing that could happen if they found out and told everybody? If that isn't too bad then have fun and tell them. Better yet - show them because they probably already know.

[danica d]

I second that, you're probably not going to clue the girls into anything they haven't already figured out...go for it!

[DeniseNJ]

I didn't go back tonight , I asked my self, why do you keep outting yourself. waiting for an answer back!!

[Amanda22]

My opinion is that the girls have already figured things out. I don't see how they couldn't, honestly. And that isn't a bad thing. You could just mention to them next time that you do indeed crossdress and let it go wherever it goes. As Michelle said, what's the worst thing that could happen? It isn't illegal.

[Loni]

when you go in to show them more photos be all dolled up in a very pretty dress and heels.

.

[faltenrock]

just go ahead and visit the store and the girls en femme, they seem totally fine with it.

[MichelleOBrien]

First, I have to say this. CONGRATS!!!!

now. I'm gonna go ahead and get a little bit of psychobabble in here. We out ourselves because we want what everybody wants. Recognition. Acceptance. Acknowledgement of our existence. It's natural to wanna stay in the closet because you fear not being accepted. But it sounds like people are ready to accept you if you let em.

just my humble opinion.

[renee k]

My opinion is that the girls have already figured things out. I don't see how they couldn't, honestly. And that isn't a bad thing. You could just mention to them next time that you do indeed crossdress and let it go wherever it goes. As Michelle said, what's the worst thing that could happen? It isn't illegal.

I agree with Mandy, you've already outed yourself to the girls, They've got it all figured out. Which isn't a bad thing. Just the things you've done outside the "Halloween" story would tip them off. Next time you go see them, go enfemme.

Renee

[Gerrijerry]

First thing to say is now that they know you are a CD what do you really want to do. Personally I think making then friends might be a good idea. You might even all go out together one day. Have fun life can be strange scary exciting and you can ride the wave or let it go by. You pick the outcome by taking the walk. You already walked the walk your out girl so now what ?

[tricia_uktv]

I don't understand. I'm sure they know so spill the whole lot. It sounds like fun to me.

[kimdl93]

Yeah, I agree - you have nothing left to hide. As to why - that was answered by Michelle above. Everyone (not just CDers) needs and acceptance. Why shouldn't we. We are social animals. We hate feeling isolated or rejected and we crave affirmation.

[Nicole Erin]

They know. Thing is if you come full-out with it, then you won't have to worry about hiding. Soon your gender presentation will not even be an issue. When they see you dressed in whatever, they might say "that is really cute" or they may offer suggestions on how to improve. It might be like "That (whatever) just doesn't suit you".

Just come out with it. It makes things so much easier. Even if there is initial gossip, they will get bored with it and soon move onto other things about other people.

[Chickhe]

Why officially tell them anything?... if you classify yourself then they will see you in that light and if they tell others they may get negative feedback. I say, they already know you so just show up dressed and leave it at that... just tell them what you want...someone to go shopping with you, for example, and if they what to be friends they will help you no questions asked until they get to know you better.

[Debra Russell]

Just goback dressed and say it felt so good and you thought you would show them! sounds like fun!

[DeniseNJ]

You know , I want nothing more then to go back all Dolled up enfemme , By the response I got, I know they would have fun with it. But walking in a store at night near Halloween last year, (Store empty) in heels and girlly jeans with polished toes and showing a picture to 2 fun teenage girls of Denise to me doesn't constitute total sissy suicide. I mean Co-workers I know go in that store who don't have the slightest idea about my feminine side. Hear me out all you beautiful girls , I am not out to that many people and if someone were to out me to somebody that I didn't want to know about Denise, I will have an explaination for me acting like a girl. MMMMMMMmmmmm I better think of a good one like "" Hey what's wrong with Part Time Crossdressing "" LOL I am still a scared CDer, but sometimes the thrill of outting myself still is worth the risk of ridicule. I value your advise and if society would be more accepting I would be more at ease with my fem self.. There is so much more I want to do with my life as far as crossdressing goes . just that I have to yeild as to dangers ahead. This site helps alot //// Thanks for suggestions Denise

[MindiB]

Hay Denise I find it tiering after awhile on trying to figure out what to were and when. When your friend asked you if that is nail polish and you said yes. I read that as if you were telling him, why yes it is, so get over it and on with life.

Mindi

[DeniseNJ]

Hay Denise I find it tiering after awhile on trying to figure out what to were and when. When your friend asked you if that is nail polish and you said yes. I read that as if you were telling him, why yes it is, so get over it and on with life.

Mindi

Funny you should pick see it this way:::, This friend, I only known for about 5 years. I confided to him about my Crossdressing last year, I even showed pictures of Denise from this website to him. He asked me whay I dress and if I were gay, He knows I like women. I explained why I dress and that I enjoy it alot. After that day of confiding, he never said much to me about my CDing and treated me no differently. I guess I just reaffermed to him the other day that Denise is still around and not going away. I wear sandles and flip flops alot on warm days and when I see this guy he usually looks down towards my toes when I see him as if he wanted to catch me with polish on . Well lets say he caught me and I didn't care even after he told me it looked feminine, For my age I have nice looking feet and so much better with polish on too LOL

[MichelleOBrien]

Denise? It sounds to me like you're scared of being caught, as if what you were doing was wrong. Might I simply state that if these girls were going to out you, they already have enough to do so with? So that being said, you've already pretty much outed yourself. Does it really matter if they know the rest? Only you can answer the question of "Am I ready?"

But in my humble opinion, they already seem to like you, and that's that. Do what you feel most comfortable. and BE YOURSELF! no matter if that's guy/girl/somewhere in between, just be you.

[MichelleL]

I think you asked the right question, "Why am I outting myself like this," and if you don't answer that question first, you can't make an informed choice. Only you can answer what you need to do. I think you need to weigh the risks and benefits to yourself. No one else has the right to tell you what you should do.

Until you answer your own question, "Why am I outting myself like this," you are making decisions based entirely on emotion. I think that including emotion in my decisions is good - BUT - I don't think excluding rational thought is a good way to make big decisions (and this is a very big decision). I want to make intelligent decisions and that requires a balance of emotion AND thought.

[Ann Thomas]

Denise, for several years I lived in a very small town of only around 3,000 people, and gradually came out in public there. Overall it was a very good experience for me. I only had one time with someone being mean to me over it, and it was at the very beginning on my first or second outing only slightly dressed (I think girl jeans and boy tshirt). I attribute that to the fear I felt and some nasty redneck picked up on it.

As I gained confidence, I dressed more clearly feminine and soon was going out dressed up pretty well for a small town. I found people I could trust in public and tended to gravitate to them. Most were younger women, as they seem to be far more open to CD and in fact are very supportive of it. I can really relate to what you're going through because of that.

Upon moving to the big city (Irvine, CA), I've been more hesitant to go out in public, but am finding that you just get ignored no matter what around here. Mainly I don't have a feeling of where the safe places are like I had in the small town. Also, I do realize part of it is the lack of attention - I'd et good positive attention in the small town, so I realize part of my need for dressing is to be accepted. I did go out today 90% girly and found things went very well, and it's the first time I've been out like that since living here a year.

You mentioned coworkers seeing you, and I also crossed that bridge in the small town. I worked in a different small town and simultaneously went through it there where I went to work more and more feminine, and of course shopped in local stores at times, and was spotted by co-workers. Finally I was asked by a mid-level manager where I worked what was my story, and I explained it to her. Turns out she attended a church in that town that specifically supported LGBT people, and had one transgendered member who had gone through surgery. It turned out very well for me in the long run as far as co-worker relations. From some I got support, while others distanced themselves from me once they found out, but remained cordial. So it can polarize some people.

Honestly if I were in your shoes I'd start going out fully dressed where you are, and always plan to end each trip with a visit to those very supportive girls you mentioned. That way you'll always return home with a smile!

Hugs,
Ann

[DeniseNJ]

Well I did show the full pics to the girls Yesterday, Great compliments like wow great legs, wow you look good. I said maybe I will try to come in dressed around Halloween and their eyes lit up. The one girl said that would be so cool, maybe we can get together and hang with Denise sometime. Oh ! I would love to dress and hang with the girls. When I went in today the greeting was much more upbeat , like I am their new girl friend, it is as if they relate to Denise and enjoy he coming out to them. we will see where this goes....

[JenniferLynn0370]

Oh good luck Denise; sounds like you have some new girl friends! Go girl, go!!

Hugs,
Jen