Made a new gg friend this week

[DeeDee1974]

So I've been getting up pretty early the past month so I can go out dressed before the world wakes up. It's usually a 30 minute walk with my dogs. Right off the bat there was always a woman walking to the bus who is friendly and always says hi. On Monday she introduced herself as Daisy and asked if I would walk her to the bus stop. She doesn't like being out when it's still dark and felt safe with me. I now walk her to the bus each morning.

There wasn't a ton of conversation on the first morning, but we exchanged emails and she asked me all the questions she was too shy to ask in person. She asked 5 questions 1. Are you gay? 2. Do you want a sex change? 3. Do you buy you own clothes? 4. When did you start dressing like a woman? 5. Cam we get coffee sometime?

She's a very attractive Asian woman who's 29, and today she admitted to me that she is a closted lesbian and she sometimes wants to be a man. I think we were brought together for a reason.

[maggiecdva]

That sounds really cool! I'm so happy for you. Let us know how things go!
hugs - maggie

[_Brie_]

1. Are you gay? .

AAARRGGHHH this question bothers me so much! Some of us might be, some of us might be bi, but why oh why is this always the first response or question!

Anyways great post, hope you have a great friendship with this person.

[DeeDee1974]

AAARRGGHHH this question bothers me so much! Some of us might be, some of us might be bi, but why oh why is this always the first response or question!

Anyways great post, hope you have a great friendship with this person.

Me too. Especially this question from my wife.

But my new friend probably asked the question because of her on sexuality. Her family's strict upbringing is keeping her from coming out and she really
has no one to talk to besides me.

[Jodygurl]

I'll bet you're on top of the world having some one you can talk to w/o having to hide who you really are. I know that many of us have those kinds of friends and it is very encouraging to me that it does happen. I'm looking forward to joining that little group.

Best wishes to you and your friend.

[kimdl93]

Fascinating! It will be interesting to see how this friendship develops!

[dayna_nj]

AAARRGGHHH this question bothers me so much! Some of us might be, some of us might be bi, but why oh why is this always the first response or question!

Anyways great post, hope you have a great friendship with this person.

Why does it bother you? People ask me all the time, I dont care. Normal ppl just assume that anyone that does this is probably gay, its a normal question I think and its ok for them to think that. I think by that they just mean, "do you like men?". It's just a natural reaction for them. She was just curious.

[Rianna Humble]

1. Are you gay?

AAARRGGHHH this question bothers me so much!

I don't let it bother me, but I do sometimes give them a more complete answer:

"When I am presenting as Robert, I am classed as heterosexual, now I am becoming Rianna, I will probably be classed as Lesbian"

[dayna_nj]

I don't let it bother me, but I do sometimes give them a more complete answer:

"When I am presenting as Robert, I am classed as heterosexual, now I am becoming Rianna, I will probably be classed as Lesbian"

Yep I do the same thing basically. When Im my normal self, I'm very straight, but when I'm dressed, I actually consider myself a straight female. Im not into women when im dressed, only men. I know there are many people that think that explanation is odd, but that's how it is. I switch from a straight male to a straight female.

I cant just say im a bi male, because like I said when im not dressed, I only like women, when im dressed, only men. Its like a split personality thing.

[DeeDee1974]

Why does it bother you? People ask me all the time, I dont care. Normal ppl just assume that anyone that does this is probably gay, its a normal question I think and its ok for them to think that. I think by that they just mean, "do you like men?". It's just a natural reaction for them. She was just curious.

It gives me the chance to say "I've never been with a man, but that doesn't mean I'm not a little curious".

[jenni_xx]

EVen though the "are you gay" question doesn't bother me personally, I do understand though why it would bother a lot of us.

Personally speaking, I am gay (I came out after my last relationship with a woman ended). So this no doubt contributes to why I'm not bothered by someone asking me this question. But then, I am not gay BECAUSE I crossdress, nor do I crossdress BECAUSE I am gay. And futhermore (and this reinforces why some of us would be bothered by this unjust association), I am yet to ever meet anyone who, upon announcing to others that they are gay, has then immediately been asked "do you crossdress/are you transgendered?".

I think that alone gives us an indication of "where we stand" when it comes to how people in general look upon us. Maybe such people understand/have more experience of meeting gay people a lot more than they do transgendered people, and we all know how much people overall like to bracket things into things that they can understand more readily. I have no doubt that when I go out shopping (while dressed in drab), that the thought that I am gay will cross sales assistants' minds. I think that currently we are one step (at least) behind the gay community in terms of being accepted, and at present the only hope we have to be more widely accepted (and I do believe that that is happening by the way), is for more and more people to accept the gay community. In this sense, both "tags" (for want of a better word) go hand in hand, irrespective of how much we like it or not.

One final point - I've lost count of the number of times I've read messages on the internet about how people think it's ok for others to crossdress as long as they are gay. This, quite frankly, saddens me. To put it succinctly, why does it even matter to anyone how I dress? I'm causing no one any harm through what I wear, no matter how anyone feels about it. This reminds me of the comedian Steve Hughes, who talks about how ridiculous people act when they are offended by something. "So what" he says, "you're offended. Nothing bad happens when you get offended". The saddest thing of all though, is that something bad can happen to someone who has caused another person to feel offended. And that is very very wrong. In no short measure, when it comes to something as ultimately harmless as dressing in clothes usually ascribed to the opposite gender, anyone who does get offended by that really has no place in any civilised society. In my humble opinion.

[DeeDee1974]

Why does it bother you? People ask me all the time, I dont care. Normal ppl just assume that anyone that does this is probably gay, its a normal question I think and its ok for them to think that. I think by that they just mean, "do you like men?". It's just a natural reaction for them. She was just curious.

It gives me the chance to say "I've never been with a man, but that doesn't mean I'm not a little curious".

[Ladmal]

I have been asked countless times if I am gay, even by my own children when they found out I CD, this does not bother me in the least, in fact I see it mostly as a compliment, especially when asked by gay men.

When I am asked I always say no, however, I have had several one night stands with gay men (between marriages and both wifes know) and to be honest had extremely pleasurable sex on every occasion, when I think back, I think on how wonderful the feeling was to be caressed by a man in place of being beaten by one.

I don't consider myself to be gay, and I love the touch of a woman and would never consider spending the rest of my life with a man, but, if I had no wife or something terrible happened to her it would simply be a case of first come first served and if a man came along before a woman and was so caring as the men Iv'e been with then he would certainly be considered as an intimate friend.

One thing I have learned is that gay men are far more understanding than so called normal men (if you can see fighting after two beers normal) and sometimes also than some women.

I geuss my point is if asked if your gay don't take offence, nobody is perfect and when poeple see something they don't understand then they also don't know the right questions to ask, give them a little room and take it on chin, I can get angry very easy, but when asked if I'm gay I simply smile and think to my self "if only".

As I said I don't consider myself to be gay, but I'm open to enlightenment, what do you think?

[G.Grace]

Congratulations on your new friendship. I wish you the best of luck.

[Alicia_lynn419]

It's always wonderful to make a new friend, regardless of the circumstance. Last weekend I went to the Fetish Club with a lady friend and ran into a girl I had a few lunch dates with recently. She did not know about my fem side, but she does now, and seemed to take it all in stride (perhaps because I sensed she had no romantic interest in me previously).

As for the "are you gay" question, I think its a "fair question" based on how our society typically thinks of us. I'm not offended by it. I consider myself to be hetroflexible... not quite bi. Being bi or flexible is neither gay.... besides... what does it matter? You have a new friend!

[DeeDee1974]

I met my new friend for coffee today since we both have Fridays off. She really opened up about her sexuality and how much her family would disapprove. I feel for her because she would be a great gf for a lucky woman.

I was brave and dressed in a silky new black Calvin Klien dress and patent leather pumps.

One thing did make me uncomfortable. When she talked she would rub her hand on my legs. We were sitting close so no one could hear us and I think it was a nervous thing. A) I'm married and B) DeeDee isn't a lesbian. Any way I did not confront her about it, but if it continues I'll have to say something or not see her anymore.

[PretzelGirl]

DeeDee, you should be able to talk with someone about needing a little bit of space. There are a lot of us that get touchy once we "put our girl on". But there are certainly some of us who are uncomfortable with it. Just bring it up in a nice way and it shouldn't be a big deal.

Isn't it nice to find someone to meet up with? I have met with a few others and it is always an enjoyable experience. Its like those SciFi movie trailers. "We are not alone!"

[7sisters]

Oh so sweet!

[DeeDee1974]

Yes I'm thrilled to find someone who looks forward to being with me while I'm dressed. It was funny because I was so dressed up and she was wearing a baseball cap, sweatshirt and workout pants.

[DeeDee1974]

Oh so sweet! Ah Asian girls are really quiet and shy. Be nice to her... and remember with Asians, if you marry an Asian girl, you get her entire family too! LOL. LOL. Is she an Indian girl?

I'm already married to a wonderful and supportive woman. She just doesn't want to see me dressed.

[7sisters]

Oh. You can still mentor this girl. I think she needs a friend who she can talk to. I'm a little disturbed she kept touching you. Might be nerves.
Anyway, keep us posted.

[DeeDee1974]

Oh. You can still mentor this girl. I think she needs a friend who she can talk to. I'm a little disturbed she kept touching you. Might be nerves.
Anyway, keep us posted.

I hope it was nerves. We were both nervous. I have never been out in a regular situation like this before where I'm just getting to be my female self. The more I think about it is she would rub my leg for a few seconds, then we would make eye contact and start to laugh. So I might have encouraged it by laughing. We also took a nice walk and I had to hold onto her arm because I'm only okay in heels. I think the moms pushing their baby strollers think were a couple. Lol.