Parents Rights vs. CD Rights

[MichelleL]

This thread originally started in the Wearing a Bikini thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...aring-a-Bikini). I have started this thread to continue the discussion without detracting from (or hijacking) that thread. The following quotes are fromthat original thread and I believe they are all of the quotes that are pertinent to this thread. I may have missed some though so please feel free to include anything I missed.

The original post was:

I just got two 2 piece string side tie bikinis from Victoria's Secret. Has anyone tanned with the top on? I live in South Florida so a tan is quite easy. What is it like swimming in one and would it be okay to do it in male mode in public or when not many people around? I don't care what people think of me. I plan on always wearing them in my own private pool/hot tub in my backyard. I haven't gone out enfemme yet but would like to. I'm only 18 and don't have a large array. I have a lot of panties and thongs, one bra, two bikinis, polish my nails in clear or white, and shave my whole body. I also some lipstick but don't wear it often.

Post your experiences about swimming or tanning in a two piece bikini.

Followed later by:

When reading this please keep in mind it is written from a mother's point of view. I support my husband in every way. My husband and i go to the lake with him dressed in his favorite swim suit all the time. But I don't think it would be appropriate at a public swimming pool. I know there is nothing wrong with dressing up, but I can't see it being possible to completely hide your man part in a bikini. I also think maybe those children's parents should have the choice as to what they want their child exposed to. My daughter and us together will decided when she is mature enough for her to here all about her pawpaw. Anywhere else go for it! I hope my opinion doesn't offend anyone, but not everyone parent is prepared or even knows how to answer the questions that could come from that encounter.

Followed by:

Parents do have the choice to control what their children are exposed to. At home. If they don't want to expose their children to the big bad world, then they should not take them out in public. If parents do not wish to expose their children to the perfectly acceptable (if statistically infrequent) activities of other people, those parents should leave their precious little darlings at home instead of imposing their narrow minded view of the world on other adults. I am past tired of living in a world where the only acceptable behaviors are those deemed, by the most squeamish among us, to be "wholesome" for consumption by children.

Won't anyone think of the adults!?!?!!!

To which I posted:

[SIZE=3]I need to preface my remarks by stating a couple of things. First, this is only my opinion and I do not feel that I have the right to impose my opinion on anyone else. Second, I don't have a dog in this fight. I don't have any children and I have never thought (and I still don't) that I would ever be able to "pass" as female and I would never even think about going to a public place in a bikini.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]I thought about these posts over night and was hoping that someone might post something similar to what I am thinking but no one has.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]I try to live my life morally. In other words, I try, in everything I do to consider how my actions affect others. I try to put myself in the other person's shoes and think about how I would feel if I were in their position. Do I always succeed? No. I have done many things in my life that have had impacts on others that I regret. In those cases, I try to make amends by apologizing and letting them know that I understand and regret any harm I have caused them.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]Do I think that cross dressing is immoral? No, of course not. What one does to their own body and how one chooses to dress are that person's own responsibility and right. Do I think that being heterosexual, bi-sexual or gay is immoral. Once again, no. How one chooses to express their sexual self is that person's own responsibility and right.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]With that understanding, I think I can proceed to explain my thoughts on Carrie's wife’s and Hope's posts.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]I believe that it is not only every parent's right to raise their children with their own moral values, it is every parent's responsibility to teach their children what is morally right (and every parent has their own beliefs about what is morally right and wrong).[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]I also believe that we, as adults, must understand that children are exactly that. They are children. They are in the formative stages of their lives and are progressing toward being adults. They are impressionable and vulnerable and it is the parents' responsibility to protect their children from harm so that they can become responsible and happy adults.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]When I consider how my actions may affect others, I have to take into consideration a lot of things. First and foremost in my mind is the understanding that while I may have the legal right to do something, that does not mean that I have the moral right to do it. While I do have the legal right to preach to others about my religious beliefs, I do not feel I have the moral right to do so as I believe that each person's religious views are their own.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]The reverse can also be true. I may feel that I have a moral right to do something that society has deemed to be illegal. (I am human and I may ultimately be right or wrong about the issue but I do have my beliefs.) In that case, It is my responsibility as an adult to attempt to change the laws that I believe infringe on my and others' rights. I can go about doing so in many ways and this is not the place to get into that.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]There are also the situations where what I and society believe are morally right coincide. For example, society (in general) has decided that I have the right to get drunk and doing so is legal. However, society has also decided that I do not have the right to get drunk and then get in my car and drive. Why has society made these decisions? In the first case, society has decided that what I do to my own body (getting drunk) is my personal decision and responsibility. In the second case, society has decided that even though I have the right to get drunk, my rights in that area stop when my getting drunk may infringe on another’s rights. By driving when I am drunk, I am endangering the rest of society around me and I may even kill someone. Because I understand that my rights stop when they infringe on someone else’s rights, I agree with those societal decisions, rules and laws.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]Now, on to my beliefs in this specific case. Because I believe that it is Carrie’s wife’s responsibility to protect her children and to raise them in the way she believes is morally right, I believe that it is my responsibility to defer to her beliefs. If I can go to an adults only location (and I can) to wear my bikini publicly, then that is where I should go to do it. I understand then, that if I go to a location where parents and their children will be present, it is my responsibility to defer to the prevailing moral opinion. Do I feel that I have given up something? Of course I do. Am I willing to do so. Yes I am. I am willing to do so because I understand that I do not know everything and that I may be wrong in my belief that my actions won’t harm the children. I do not have the moral right to take that decision away from the parents.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]


:2c:

Followed later by:

You really hate yourself so much that you think it is reasonable that children have to be protected from (even just seeing) you, least they be "morally" damaged forever?

OK.

Your claim to believe that what you do isn't immoral rings a bit hollow when you go on to suggest that people are justified in protecting their children from you, and others like you, on "moral" grounds.

I think this is a valuable topic to explore so I started this thread so more people may be comfortable in posting their opinions without detracting from the original thread.

You really hate yourself so much that you think it is reasonable that children have to be protected from (even just seeing) you, least they be "morally" damaged forever?

OK.

Your claim to believe that what you do isn't immoral rings a bit hollow when you go on to suggest that people are justified in protecting their children from you, and others like you, on "moral" grounds.

I think you may have missed the point of my comments.

No, I don't hate myself so much that I 'think it is reasonable that children have to be protected from (even just seeing) you, least they be "morally" damaged forever?' My point was that parenting well is a very difficult thing to do and that I do not feel justified in making it even harder than it already is by imposing my views on parents (and children) who may not be ready to face those issues. Each parent is responsible for teaching their children their moral values. While I may not agree with those values, it is not my decision to make.

Your claim to believe that what you do isn't immoral rings a bit hollow when you go on to suggest that people are justified in protecting their children from you, and others like you, on "moral" grounds.

[SIZE=3]There is definitely some validity to this in that emotionally, I have not yet matured to the point where I don't feel any guilt over my cross dressing. Rationally, there is no reason for my guilt but emotions are rarely (in my opinion) ruled by rational processes. Emotions, by their very nature, are not rational. While emotions can eventually be changed by using rational processes, their origins are based on a huge list of events that created who we are.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]I was not raised Catholic (and I am not picking on Catholics, I am merely stating anecdotal evidence) so I cannot attest to the validity of what I am about to say. I am reminded of the many stories I have heard and read about the guilt that many adults who were raised Catholic and went to Catholic schools feel as adults, even though they may have come to a rational conclusion that there is nothing immoral about their actions. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]It is very difficult for us, even as adults, to overcome what we perceive as the inappropriate programming we received as children. The emotions that hit us, frequently unexpectedly, as adults are a direct result of our previous programming and experiences. Good parents (in my opinion) realize this and attempt (never perfectly) to prevent their children from being inappropriately (in their opinion) programmed. That is their right and their responsibility as parents. Why would I want to make their job tougher?[/SIZE]