I have a customer that comes thru once in a while and I have read them but I stay quite. I let them enjoy the moment. As I put myself in their place and think how I would feel if someone started conversation about it. I wouldn't be happy, and it might scare me right back to the place that I am trying to come out of. Each has to take it at a pace that is comfortable for themselfs.
First, talk to her. I would appreciate someone interacting that way with me. If she responds with a very obviously male voice, then you could bring up your support group. Many of us have not worked much on our femme voice, so if we talk, we out ourselves, and know it!
Freddy
I would leave her alone. Its best not to embarrass the both of you.
For feral girls, don't you usually ring and get the pie blowers out?
(see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7UX8KASASU if you don't understand what a pie blower is)
Jeremy Corbett: "News this week - the wedding of the century. We all knew it was just a matter of time, and finally, the day is here."
[Paul Ego and Dai Henwood walk out dressed as bride and groom respectively]
Paul Ego: "I'm only doing this because I'm pregnant."
Two of my loves combined: New Zealand current affairs comedy game show 7 Days, and crossdressing.
My thoughts exactly! I've met some GGs in my life who, well, look like CDers. Like asking a woman if she's pregnant, no way I'm assuming any fully dressed person is a CDer. If you want to talk, keep it short and neutral.Originally Posted by Fab Karen
-Sedona
Leave me alone. I was minding my own business, you should do the same. And who are you calling a feral cd? What the heck is that anyway?
Karan
True, it could turn into an awkward situation, but it could also let that person know that they aren't alone in the world, like many of us think.
A "feral CD" is a crossdresser "in the wild."
Attitude, chica!And no, you weren't minding your own business. Minding your own business means that you are locked inside your house, so you can't interact with others, or have them sully you with their darn friendliness and support. What's wrong with a simple hello?
Kathi
I think a feral CD means a domesticated one that has reverted to her wild side - or, like belly buttons, an inny becoming an outy! How do you "know" this person was a CD? Maybe they're TS or GG as someone else said. The world is filled with "all kinds" - even bearded ladies and women who are dressed to the nines at midday!
I often start up conversations with people for no "apparent" reason except that I'm human (I think). So I would see no reason not to talk to her - but don't scare her BOO!
I know I'm weird, but you two did have something in common..buying gas. I would have made me usually chat and looked down or at the pump.
Em
Living with a heel in each world.
I'm excessively shy and unlikely to initiate a contact but I welcome them from those who are brave enough to. Whether I "passed" or not I would welcome the human interaction and a friendly face. I did much the same a couple of weeks ago, dressed and went out in the daylight, stopped at a convenience store for a paper, stopped at a gas bar for gas. I didn't pass, I was making a statement on a day that I was brave enough to do it. I would have been taken aback by anyone approaching but a friendly face would have been a huge bonus.
Just a thought from the other side of the argument.....
Sarah M..,
Women's clothes? I don't put them on, I just grew into them.
http://sarahjanus.wordpress.com
www.facebook.com/sarah.m.janus
Over the past year since I have been actively working as a woman, I have had several occasions where strangers have talked with me. Mostly to compliment something I was wearing. Each time to me has been memorable. The most unexpected was in the supermarket when I was there making an ATM deposit and a woman stopped and had to know where I got the shoes I was wearing. It has happened at Payless and Dress Barn and several other places. I feel that if someone is OK with starting a conversation or having a comment I am all for it. I guess the most memorable time was a few months ago I was in the market picking up a few items and ran into my sister-in-law and we passed in an aisle and she didn't even say a word. Now that made my day...after my heart began beating again. No words but it was a great confidence builder.
A warm, friendky and welcoming smile is enough. If she wishes to talk she will pick that up and do so. If not, no harm done.
I strut my stuff, I feel so proud,
I need to shout, to scream out loud,
I am Tricia I am she,
I am who I want to be
http://tricia-dale.blogspot.com/
When I interact in femme mode with the general public, and I do start conversations with people pretty often, I don't think anyone has mentioned my fairly obvious TG status. They just talk. I've known people on a casual basis for weeks who haven't brought it up.
Now if a new acquaintance fusses a bit about my outfit or jewelery, I take that as a positive read -- they're trying to put me at ease with some nice words.
Therefore, using the way others relate to me as a model, I would perhaps start a conversation, but I wouldn't talk about the elephant in the room -- I'd leave it to the other person.
I can't believe it.I travel 3000 miles to a different country just so i can finaly go out.I dress in my fav skirt and heels,rent a car and drive around feeling like a real cougar stop for gas and bam picked off just like that.Thanks for the leg compliment though.Your a sweetheart lol
Michelle
I'm only joking of course but if that foxy lady is on here"go girl"
If I knew where it was going to take me I probably would have put my mother's panties back.
that's a hard call, that you would have to make at that time, you do not want to emabarass anyone.
Well for me- I love to chat so If ya see me around, ya better say hi. Heck Id probably ask you if you wanted to get coffee.
There is so much difference in the range of answers that I think it will come down to doing what feels best at the time. I'll just have to take in all the variables and try to calculate the best answer at the moment. It sounds like the best thing to say will probably be a neutral comment, just to establish contact and show I'm not an immediate threat. I also think it's time to get business cards printed up so I'll have something to show that my interest isn't based on a threat, but on a shared experience.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
Take it one step further - What would you do if someone else outed the "feral CD" while you were getting gas? You know, started heckling .... Would you step in?
I think the important this is that you don't have to so socially awkward about it. What is the problem exactly? Why are there so many people posting with this inward turmoil on whether they should talk to another human being, or not. Seriously? Of course don't point out that she is a crossdresser. Awkward. But, there's nothing wrong with being nice and polite. If the person that you are talking to is offended by a casual conversation, then she is probably socially inept and can't help it. Not your fault.
Just don't be awkward...sheesh.
If this person was being rude, I might ask him/her what the problem is and suggest that he/she move along. I may just be a girl, but I am scrappy as hell.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
It's easy - you step in early and express your support for her before the mob gets it's torches and pitchforks together - knowing that there is someone who will oppose them often silences a bully if you can do it before he gets all wound up. And you can do it very simply without outing her or embarrassing her any further.
"I think her outfit is perfectly lovely, and I don't want to hear any more about it."
"I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it." — Marilyn Monroe
why do you want to talk to her?
i'm guessing your intention is good
some girls i know are quite healthily delusional (in a good way) about their ability to pass. by saying anything to them you are basically saying
Hi!! You don't pass!!
whether you like it or not, you run the risk of ruining their whole day...i guess its fair to say that its the other persons problem because there is also a possibility that you are meeting a local like minded person...
you also run the risk of being the first person that was ever nice to her and she could instantly cling to you like sweet on a peach (my uncle used to say that)
years ago i went to cd party we have here in philly and a couple of us saw a girl coming in and she looked very shy and lonely...when we approached her to talk and share a drink we basically got the huge bug eyed responses (eeeeekkkk!!) and she left in less than 10 minutes..we drove her away...now this is a different situation than the OP, but it illustrates that some people don't want to be outed in any way ...even by a friendly transperson, at a trans party..
ya never know
How about she is really a woman but with overkill dress that made her looked like a man? I actually met a customer at work yesterday, got to be atleast 55 yr old but was wearing clothes & skirt for 20-30 yr old women..and with load of makeups.
I rang her up at the cash register & did little conversation, somehow she said, "don't you hate when someone ask do you need any help SIR?".
She is an older age woman, husband waiting outside. But with all the heavy make over & flashy clothes really made her looked like a CDer or TS wannabe.
The simplest and easiest thing to do with any girl/gurl is to smile and acknowledge their existence. I know I would love to have that simple gesture of "approval." If you want to take it further, give her a once over and then an approving smile (of course not in the perverted "look too long" sense). That could either start a conversation or cause her to run for the heels (sic). Either way, she will have a positive memory of it
who are you to judge me being over dressed for the noon hour, i had just came from a very important meeting, going to another one, and i ran out of fuel. time of day doesnt really matter. i hope to god i get more respect then being called a feral CD... you have no idea there missie.. untill you have the respect to stop staring, and say hi and treat me like a lady i suggest you keep your domesticated tushy fermly locked inside your wifes closet so she can teach you some manners...
We should just do what we'd do with anyone we feel a kinship with by smiling, saying hello, or a wave. I do it all the time with people in general. I don't want a relationship, and I'm not responsible for making them feel secure in public. I'm just being friendly. I'm not sure why anything more is needed. Most of us just want to blend. If we want more than that while in public, it is up to the individual to initiate that.
Last weekend we went for a drive to a small town in the country where they have nice shops and restaurants. Its about a one hour drive from home. On the way there i was telling my wife about how many people are crossdressers and i dont see any. Well we arrive there i take 2 steps out of the car and i see this six foot five inch woman, wearing a very short skirt and high heels. As i was walking closer to her i realized it was a crossdresser. I didnt know what to do, i wanted to say something like,good for you, or you look great,or look iam wearing a bra and pantyhose too iam like you. Instead i chose to respect her privacy. I didnt even want to stare to much not to make her feel uncomfortable. My wife had noticed that her partner was a cder also, i didnt notice because i was looking at all the bags in her hand from all the cloth shopping she did. I dont know what to say or do when i see another cder, its a tough call.
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