It appears the majority of members are over 40. Why is that do you think?

[Marsha My Dear]

Hi all, I started dressing up at 12 in my mom's undies. That was 45 years ago. There's been pauses here and there, but there's always been panties, stockings, a skirt and nail polish near at hand. I've always needed vanishingly little approval from others- I can't make up their minds for them. More than ever before I don't care if someone can't grasp what being dressed up does for me. I can hear the mental buzz among us... 'Why did it take so long to find one another?' - Marsha

[alyssaenglefield]

Just with hormones - i've gone to my Human Body Systems textbook (Anatomy & Physiology 7th ed by Kevin Patton and Gary Thibodeau) and found Figure 31-15 on page 1032, which shows testosterone levels over a lifetime.

You are right about testosterone dropping off when you reach 40 - between the end of puberty and the age 40, testosterone is around 5.0 millimoles per litre of blood plasma (just ignore the units - 5.0 is good enough), but the drop-off is slow: at age 65 you still are at 4.5 mmol/L, and only by the time the Queen or President sends you a telegram do you levels reach the halfway point of 2.5 mmol/L.

(Just out of interest, a level of 5.0mmol/L is equal to 4 grams (0.15 ounces) of pure testosterone in the blood of an average 70kg/155lb genetic male)

I have no idea otherwise about the age effect - and i'm 19.

[sometimes_miss]

My own theory on this, is that over time, many of us, well, we simply become psychologically exhausted by suppressing the desire to crossdress every waking (and perhaps, even sleeping) moment, so it overcomes us and we have to express what we feel. Same with many middle aged transexuals. After spending most of our lives thinking it will go away, at some point we have to face the obvious and be who we really are, because we run out of the energy to keep it all bottle up.

[eluuzion]

Developmental psychologists usually consider early adulthood to cover approximately age 20 to age 40 and middle adulthood approximately 40 to 65.
According to a psychologist named Erik Erikson, one problem we attempt to address is this stage is “generativity vs. self-absorption”.

In middle adulthood, we often develop a “genuine” concern for the welfare of future generations and to contribute to the world through family and work.

While a midlife crisis is not something we all experience, most of us face the recognition that more than half of one's life is gone. That recognition may prompt some us to feel that the “clock is ticking” and that we must make sudden, drastic changes in order to achieve our goals and live out the satisfactions we had hoped to achieve, but placed “on hold” for a greater cause.

So, at the end of the day, here we all are…

“jus’ chasing the dream”…

In my world…there is always a chance of catchin’ it…

If not, there is always another one to discover, around every corner…

[alyssaenglefield]

I would be excellent to find an epidemiological study on cross-dressing, and see the true figures of cross-dressing. Unfortunately, I can't find one.

[Patty B.]

Good post JennyY, I didn't find this site until age 56 and if it'd been there thirtyfive years ago I've been on it then, oh well.

[lizaw101]

Could be that we don't have to be so concerned about what other people think and do not have to conform to everything

[KELLYANN]

as many have said, there are differant reasons. for me, the "CLOSET" was getting old and boring. so i decided in my mid 40's to get out! came out to family and a few good friends. been going out in public now dressed for over 7 yrs. now and LOVE IT!! with the help of this forum, i have so many friends now who are just like me. did you think you were the only one? younger ones are prob. a bit more aprehensive. us young "OLDER" girls know it's TIME TO GO GIRL. i'm not totally passable, as many of you are but do my best. shopping,dining,dancing,clubs etc. LOVE it all. yes i get those "LOOKS" occasionlly is that a guy? i smile. i prob. dress better than most of them. but do have much more respect for a womens perogative. happy in heels KELLY

[Rianna Humble]

Does anyone know of any studies out there that would explain why a lot of the members here are over 40?

It is actually a quite well-documented condition known as Anno Domini. The scary thing is that it happens eventually to nearly everyone who posts on this forum

That said, I believe that statistically, there is a much higher proportion of those who have not yet suffered this phenomenon in the Young Members' section.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Wow, such great ideas. For me, like many of the answers above is I am reaching a stage in life where I want to do things I enjoy. I have no need to "please others" so they will like me, I am pleasing myself. When I was a teen, I crossdressed in the privacy of home, fearing others may find out I kept to myself. There was no internet, I had no idea that many others did it too. I had heard of LesGirls, an all male dance troupe who danced in feathers, massive head pieces but I thought that was only theater. Now I have no need to please others for their sake. Their lives are busy with children, grandchildren, mortgages, retirement, homes and their own interest in hobbies. Now we have the internet, someone to chat with who share common interests, read and learn. Once a certain age has come, we begin to accept life and other people for who they are and not what they stand for as in material provisions. I am not one to judge, nor am I one to dictate but everyones experience in life someday may help us all to tread carefully and respectfully. Once forty or fifty is reached many realise time is short, a year feels like a half year, a night feels like an hour, and the body aches but for me I look forward to putting on some makeup, let my hair out and create an updo and slide into a dress and sit down and enjoy MY TIME, I think I have earnt that right for me.

[SusieB]

For me it has been a combination of many of the experiences outlined by others. I have been under dressing for as long as I can remember. However I was in my late forties before I had the real opportunity to dress fully. This coincided with a significant increase in the urge to dress. So I suppose the answer for me is opportunity and hormones.

[Josey]

JenniY;s responce best fits how I believe this 40 plus thing came about.

[Cherie]

I personally have become more accepting now of who Cherie is. Im over 40. for me ive allways put family 1st now they have moved on i have more time to be me and loving it thanks to finding this foram knowing that others like me are around so my other life does begin at 40 ish

[Engendered]

As a "younger" member (Ie..under 40), I'm here now out of mostly curiosity. I've grown up with a lot of support and was out to a few of my friends when I hit 18, and everyone else in my early 20s. It was never a thing I felt I needed to go online to find support for, so I never came to sites like these. If there are fewer young people here (I hadn't particularly noticed this), then I believe it's simply because they don't need it!

[Gerrijerry]

Yes there are two times in your life where being different comes into play. one is when you are young and don't think about what others see. The other is when you are older and stop carring what others say. Between those two points we live in fear. That is the way it has always been until the net started to tell everyone that the world has a larger mixt of different people many more then we all thought. Today in this new age of computer networking and faster communication. things are changing and more and more are learning that you do not need to stop or change the way you were born. The fear is becomming less and less for many.

[GingerLeigh]

I certainly can't say it's because of less responsibility as I'm raising two little ones and carrying a hefty mortgage right now. The desire to dress is as intense as it's ever been. I dressed from 4 on to 40 but the need wasn't as intense, so it was with far less frequency.
If I had to theorize about it, I'd have to say its hormonal. I believe there is a physical reason for cross dressing. We're wired different and as our hormonal system ages, this wiring comes alive.

Ginger

[renee k]

Very good point Jenni, I agree with your take on this thread. When I was younger and dressing, Al Gore hadn't invented the internet yet. The only social connection I had with other girls was with local support groups. Plus as other girls have mentioned the over forty thing, "that it's time for me to do what I want". Holds a lot credence as well.

Renee

[LitaKelley]

Having discovered the many different various emotions, feelings, and sensations, etc associated with crossdressing at the age of 41, I really regret not starting way back when I was a teenager as I would certainly have been prettier as a young woman, and well, if I had done it back then I'd probably be a fully transitioned woman today.

[Julogden]

(Younger CD's Please correct me here if I'm making assumptions that are wrong) I think much of it relates to a more open society for younger Crossdressers. They have options that those of us who are older never imagined and can take advantage of them. We come here because it's realtively safe and we can remain anonymous, still fearing being outted in our communities. We stick around because we need to feel a part of a community and this is one of the best neighborhoods around.
I completey agree and not in a bad way.. It's never easy to go against societys grain.

I think you've brought up a significant factor in the "kids" not hanging around here so much. While there have been lots of other valid reasons mentioned here, I think the younger folks haven't experienced as much repression as we who are older have experienced, so they don't feel the need for a "safe" place as much as we do.

Carol

[linda.wai]

I first had CD feelings when 16 and CD on and off up to 23. I then purged for a year at a time and managed to control my CD to one indoor session a year. Then by the time I am 40 odd, I realize that there is nothing in life that's more relaxing and exciting than CD, especially going overseas on vacation en femme. I can also afford it better and want the escape from my work and my life since after 40.

[t-girlxsophie]

Maybe kids have more of an active life than us shall we say more seasoned Ladies,they just get on with it and dont feel the need to come online to share,I only came on here last Nov,that was basically due to only just been dragged into the 21st century at that time LOL when I was younger there wasn't as good a support network around,If I had that I sometimes wonder how my life would have turned out

Sophie xx

[maggiecdva]

I agree with several others ... by the time we are in our 40's we are accepting about who we are and realize that CDing is nothing harmful and even helps us in our daily lives.

hugs - maggie

[Alice B]

Maybe it is just because some of us are old.

[Cassi3]

Well I'm new here, but for me, it definitely has nothing to do with age. Since I was a teen I supported my family financially, put my first wife through college and as well as one brother, put some of my own dreams on hold, and after loosing everything and suffering for not being me, I decided to be me and accept myself and to stop putting my life and happiness on hold. It's just happens to be a coincidence that I am pushing 40. And I certainly don't feel like it, lol......

[Nikki A.]

While the urges have been there before, the opportunities have not. The internet has been a boon in many of us realizing that we are not alone and having a chance to meet and go out with others like us.
Also like some of the others have said, we spent much of our lives, taking care of others needs. Now we've come to realize that life is short and we need to take care of our needs and wants too. I know I've done more in the last 2+ years that the last 50yrs and I keep pushing the envelope and lost that fear of the what ifs. If I'm seen, I'm seen. Most people would not recognize or notice that it is me and alot of the others would not care.