What was the reason/ reasons for purging in the past.
Hi all. I wondered why or what the reason you have purged in the past. I can't imagine throwing away all my precious clothes even though at this moment I am only able to underdress. I might put all my clothes away for a while until the wife becomes more understanding but not getting rid of anything. Would love to hear your reasons.
Lisaxxx
Never purged once really, I'm a damned old Yankee and we never throw anything away.. Might need it someday!
[SIZE="3"]The reasons for purging.............
Shame..... a condition society throws at us for not conforming.
Fear......... of being caught and then being shamed.
Guilt......... for hiding from others, and maybe our selfs, the truth of who we are.[/SIZE]
Marcia (LOVES) Blue
Hi Miss Lisa,
Well in the long past I had considered getting rid of all my stuff, but I could never bring myself to do so as it would be like throwing away a part of myself and denying who I am. You can throw away all your stuff and maybe try and deny who you are...but can you run away and hide from what is in your head and very much in your heart.
I was born a crossdresser, I will always be a crossdresser, And I Love been a crossdresser....its who I am body and soul
Ive purged when I let other people cause any doubt of who I am to overwhelm me. But then, I didnt know about the recources out there that I know about and am taking advantage of, now.
I have purged exactly three times... each time it was a single pair of panties that had come into my possession from a girlfriend (2x in college) and my wife (1x) when they had accidentally put them in my drawer or whatever... I can't say I regret now not having the first two, but I remember that pair that was my wife's with fondness LOL... that was the time that I really started realizing that I was "different". In any case I got rid of them all in turn for fear of getting caught and a little shame (probably these two are related as Marcia Blue described so well above.) Guilt didn't play a role then, although guilt certainly played a role later when I decided to come out to my wife (as opposed to purging.)
I imagine for some purging involves some level of "denial" - "this isn't who I am" etc... but that never bothered me...
VS Fan
The one and only purge I had was because of shame / guilt, brought on by the fact that I was running from the feelings, and needs that were surfacing at that point in my life.
I sure am glad that that is the one and only purge - I can't aforde to rebuild my wardrobe!
A prisoner in a kings disguise - Styx
Was starting a family, figured I needed to "leave this part of me behind"....(yea, right)....oh well, live and learn
I purged 15 years ago when we moved across country. I had 2 young kids and had recently accepted Christ into my life. I was afraid my kids would find my clothes and accessories someday. I could never really give it up though. Now I have a few panties and nighties that my wife has bought for me. I really want to to start a new wardrobe but I'm not sure how my wife would feel. Plus I can't get any time to myself with older children in the house. In any case I have come to realize that its a part of me that isn't going away. So I need to embrace it one way or another. I'm so glad I found this forum!
Eva D
Learning to dress all over again...
I never could come up with any type of Logical Reason to Purge. For that matter, couldn't come up with an illogical one either! And so....I never have done a Purge, and I hope I never will.
Peace and Love, Joanie
I agree: shame, fear, guilt. One night I was driving along, opened the window, and threw my pack of cigarettes out and quit smoking. I thought purging would be like that. Took me three purges before I learned otherwise. Sure wish I had some of that stuff back. Don't miss the smokes.
Pure and simple fear of getting caught before I was ready to face the world as the real me.
Well, I've only purged once myself and that was nearly twenty years ago. In my case, it was brought about by some religious scruples I was plagued by at the time (but which I've since thankfully banished from my life), and it wasn't just my (then thankfully small) collection of women's clothes that suffered, but also my music collection (I also ditched every heavy metal album I had that contained songs praising the Horned One), and a newly-acquired pair of nipple piercings, which I felt compelled to remove. The craziest thing about it all was that, in my heart of hearts, I didn't think there was anything wrong with any of the things I was getting rid of - any guilt I was experiencing over them felt very much like it was being imposed from outside - and, yeah, I bitterly regretted what I did very soon afterwards. I was "normal" now, and it sucked! It didn't take me long to grow a spine again, tell my scruples where to get off, and start replacing everything I'd gotten rid of, so, yeah, a fat lot of good that stupid purge did! On a slightly more positive note, I actually gave a lot of the clothes I got rid of (mainly items of satin sleepwear) to my mother, who was very happy to take them off my hands, so my purge wasn't a wholly destructive thing. She herself took it as a hopeful sign that a "new me" was emerging (she'd never been terribly happy about all the "weird" things I did); alas for her, as I mentioned above, that "new me" didn't stick around for very long!
If you think I'm weird, you should meet some of my friends!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
To see a bigger version of this picture, click here
"In need freedom is latent"
I purged just before I got married.
Marcia Blue stated it very well. For me it went one step further in that it was that I felt God would be very displeased with me if I remained crossdressing. It took me years and learning more about myself and God to realize that God made me this way, and it wouldn't have been fair to have been made just to be hated by God. That meant it was humans who had interjected their opinions into what was supposed to be God's words. I do not believe God creates things just to hate them. I now feel totally accepted by God and am trying hard to accept myself in the same way - with totally uninhibited love!
Hugs,
Ann
[SIZE="3"]Ann,
I am fully on board with your philosophy of God and crossdressing. Great insight.[/SIZE]
Marcia (LOVES) Blue
I purge due to shame and fear. My own as well as my SO's.
In an Asian culture, a man owning feminine stuff and undergarment is equated as being a pervert.
Even the tabloids would love to report it as such if exposed. The consequences could be devastating.
Hence, I purge and discard all if I know I can avoid CD for a long period. I never succeed though for more than a year at a time.
Yup, Shame and Fear are the two causes I'd say. I've purged 3 times (and we are talking major purges). Two of them were in preparation for a move, and I didn't want to be discovered, and the other (my first purge) was just out of pure shame. Back then I didn't even know that it was called purging, I've come a long way. The last time I had the urge, I just put my stuff away, and sure enough I was sure glad I hadn't gotten rid of it. I think you should treat it kind of like a big purchase, note the date, write down that you want to do it in 3 weeks, and see if at that point in the future, you still want to.
Hugs
Kaylee
It seems that in the US ( at least for most board members ), CD is widely tolerated socially.
1. Most board members have wives who know and support the CD
2. There is little social humiliation when uncovered, not to say drastic consequences like losing jobs, family shamed or freak treatment by colleagues or the local media.
So, why are people purging?
The couple of times I did a serious purge was due to self doubt and self guilt. I thought CDing was interfereing with my attempts to build satisfying relationships. As I grew older (see the other CD over 40 topic) I learned that CDing is part of me and will always be there.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
hugs - maggie
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Maggie
Let Yourself Be Free[SIZE="2"][/SIZE]
Ditto - all the reasons I have purged. I actually stopped thowing away my stuff a few years back since I am too cheap to keep buying new stuff all the time. I realized that after all this time, I will need it again, one day. I just find some out of the way place to hide it from myself until I "need" it again.Originally Posted by Marcia Blue
I purged twice (in a very short time from each other) when I first started crossdressing, I started feeling like it was wrong, and was afraid I'd get caught, so I purged, then a short while later I told my parents it as just a phase after they found out, and got rid of the evidence. now, I have no intention of ever purging again, as I not only want to crossdress but also transition to become a woman. I'm building a wardrobe for the rest of my life (I hope).
a GIRL and a promise to God that if I stopped I could keep her..
I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.
Lets see, I purged in high school, when the smaller girl clothes no longer fit me. Then again a few times, each time vowing to quit forever. I think once I hit 30, I realized it would be difficult to stop entirely, but purged again before I started dating my wife and got married. Each time, I thought I would be able to quit. Came closest during my engagement and marriage, lasted for about what, 7 years? Then started again, now have the largest wardrobe of female stuff I've ever had, mostly thanks to the availability of huge size stuff on the internet. Recently I've been buying purses and wallets to match my outfits...which is odd, since I never go out dressed.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Sounds like to me you are planning an outing you just don't know it yet..lol
I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.
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