Why not!

[Nigella]

We have two camps on this forum,

Those who wear skirts, dresses etc and leave their houses etc and let the world see them.

Those who wear skirts, dresses etc and stay in their houses etc and hides.

For those in the second category, the first category have shown the way, shown the fact that the world does not care what you wear, so what is stopping those in the second category joining those in the first, surely you still don't really believe that you can't do it because society says you can't.

What is really keeping you behind closed doors?

[NewDresser]

I don't care if the world cares how I dress, Its my friends and family that I worry about. Most of them would accept it if I dressed in public (in time), some would not. Losing even just one friend would make it not worth it to me.

[Gina X]

I don't care if the world cares how I dress, Its my friends and family that I worry about. Most of them would accept it if I dressed in public (in time), some would not. Losing even just one friend would make it not worth it to me.

I agree ..............

Love Gina x

[Lucy_Bella]

Nigella,
Great question ....Several reasons for me.. Biggest one ,, someone might find out someone I know and I am not ready to be outed. Second I pass about as well as Cassel does for the Chiefs. I would never pass not ready for the insults .

[kaitlinrenee]

hi i'm kaitlin, for me in the second category it would be my family and those who know them,

[Karren H]

I love camping!!

And there's actually 3 camps!! Skirts and dressing at home... Out and about and the ones that wear womens jeans out and about... Maybe that was covered in the "etc" category? I don't know. Ok. So what was the question again?

[kimmy p]

I don't go out for 2 reasons. 1. out of respect for my wife who doesn't wish me to. I can respect that. 2. I'm partially self employed in a female dominated field. I don't need my clothing choices making business harder, and you all know that it could. Especially in a fairly conservative moderately sized mid-western town.

[Jill]

I've been a fairly quiet member of this forum for a long time and there always seems to be those TG folk who are uncomfortable with those who are in the closet. It's a bit strange to me that it's not easier to see. The answer is very simple. We have a lot to lose. Even though I am inching out a bit, I'm really not in a position to have the entire world know. I am interning as a therapist at local nearby agency. I see clients that I know from there in the community all the time. Should they spot me dressed, they could easily go directly to the directors and I would likely be cut loose. If I don't get my intern hours, I don't get my degree and that is a lot of wasted time and money.

For others, they may be in the middle of custody battles and things like that. Waltzing around in public dressed as a woman could greatly effect the outcome of something like that. We stay closeted because plain and simple, we have a lot to lose.

[Marcia Blue]

[SIZE="3"]I am in the first camp. It took me 50 years to do it. I go out and do quite a bit in public, however I usually travel at least 60 miles from home, to a city. In a metro setting, people tend to be used to seeing the unusual, more often. In a small town you are better off staying indoors.

To those of you who stay at home to respect your wife, I applaud your decision. Your wife is your most precious everything.

To those that can, but will not. You are missing a great experience. The whole world my not welcome you with open arms, but you would be surprised how accepting they can be.Find a Support/Social group to meet up with. There is strength in numbers, along with fun people, who understand where you are coming from.



Lots hugs to everyone,[/SIZE]

[melina]

Yes, thats me, closet at home but some times venture out. Lost many potential freinds because of my secrecy. Succeeded this way for 40 years. Have met other CDs for hotel get-togethers for girl time, shared myself, and was liberating letting melina out. Ive found it very difficult to actually meet others like me, because we feel so unexceptable and have so much to lose, But I keep trying.......

[Emma Leigh]

Living in Englands equivalent to Helmund Province surrounded by individuals who have no tolerance for those of other cultures and would /have killed people for simply being of a different ethnic origin, I dont feel inclined to test their views on alternative sexuality, so I think I will stay in for the moment !!!!!!!

[Stephenie S]

Those who are are "out" are NOT complaining about those who choose to remain in the closet. They are only complaining about the ones who stay in the closet and claim it is someone ELSE (society) who is keeping them in the closet.

S

[Shelly67]

My family do not know I crossdress , therefore my answear is thus . No one is showing me the way - its a concious choice . Being married , with a very supportive partner and being respectful of her feelings is the very first reason I will not venture out enfemme . The other is my direct family .
IF I were ever to go out , it would only be accompanied with her and to an accepted establishment or friends home . It is a private choice between US both . I feel no shame in witholding my femme self in my own home . However to go out in daylight in some parts of this country is rather risky - passable or not .
It's a personel choice , but so is the strength required should it all go belly up in the face of confrontation of those who are discovered - be it with a partner , a distressed family , work mates or other people should word get round of outside adventures . Then theres even worse - what about the horrible people who could possibly assault physically in homophobic hatred ?. Imagine having to explain the reasons why of gaining injuries to direct family ..... especially those who are not aware of theyre sons behaviour and dress sense . Or the Police . The courts , then the media ??
A verbal assault by strangers is nothing more than unerving , but we do live in a dangerous culture in blighty enforced by a very real hatred and knife culture . Its undeniable and in my mind russian roulette .
Sorry if my views offend , but in stark reality they are the truth .
For me at least .

[Emma Leigh]

Those who are are "out" are NOT complaining about those who choose to remain in the closet. They are only complaining about the ones who stay in the closet and claim it is someone ELSE (society) who is keeping them in the closet.

S

I did,nt realise anyone was complaining, I thought we all tolerated each others reasons and accepted that we are all individuals!!!

[Raychel]

I have alot of friends and family that have no clue about Raychel. I am also very well know in the local area. For these reasons, Raychel will be staying in the house for a while.

[sissystephanie]

I started going out dressed when I was still a teenager. My late wife knew that I was a CD and fully supported me, and even went out with me. My children did not know until recently, but don't care as long as I don't dress enfemme around them. They are grown and on their own, so not at home to cause me a problem. I just am careful to not be where they are going to be!

Most of those who dress only at home have valid reasons for doing so. It is their life, to be lived as they see fit. My own neighbors don't know that I dress, and I will keep it a secret as long as I can! It is my life, not somebody elses!!

[kaitlinrenee]

and because it's your life thats why people need to just accept it and keep their comments to themselves, weather you're out in public or in the priviacy of your home.

[CalamityJane]

I can only comment on the mindset and attitudes of those found in my part of the U.K as it is still not ready to openly accept people who do not conform to what they deem as normal. I am not making excuses for not going out in public but that does have to be balanced with what sort of experience I would encounter.
I could live under the illusion that going out dressed would be great and without problems but the fact remains that it just would not be so. As mentioned by other replies to this thread I have rather too much to lose if I were to be outed in my own town, which is so inward looking and close minded as to defy description, that leaves the alternative of driving 60 to 70 miles to the nearest major connabation to spend a couple of hours of out and about freedom, which would still be laden with all the risks of been pilloried by the close minded members of society....I guess that we are just a few years behind our cousins over there in the U.S.A

[kaitlinrenee]

i agree,

[Ashleythenewgirl]

Living in Englands equivalent to Helmund Province surrounded by individuals who have no tolerance for those of other cultures and would /have killed people for simply being of a different ethnic origin, I dont feel inclined to test their views on alternative sexuality, so I think I will stay in for the moment !!!!!!!

Stay out of the green zone in that case Emma!!! Just kidding. Seriously I know what you are referring to and that is not easy at all. I am sorry to hear it.
As for me personally, I cannot wait to go out and try to make any chance I can now. This after two trips out of the house. Can I do this all the time during any day of the week and leave my house en femme? Not yet. I am still looking for work and need to exercise caution. Boise is making progress in becoming more accepting, but not totally. In regards to others who don't get out, that's their choice and I am sure they have their reasons. I hope they can find the chance someday to enjoy this however.

[Kathryn Martin]

I love camping!!

And there's actually 3 camps!! Skirts and dressing at home... Out and about and the ones that wear womens jeans out and about... Maybe that was covered in the "etc" category? I don't know. Ok. So what was the question again?

I am with you

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nigella

#2 Out of respect for my wife and family.
My wife tolerates Orchid but it's a don't ask///don't tell thinggie you know
My wife is the only person that knows about Orchid other than
the thousands or so on this forum.
So I will be happy here in my little corner of the world
dressing and surfing the Forum.

Orchid

[nikkijo]

I don't care if the world cares how I dress, Its my friends and family that I worry about. Most of them would accept it if I dressed in public (in time), some would not. Losing even just one friend would make it not worth it to me.

and you would be a wuss.... and lack trust in your friends trust me, i they are your friends they will accept you... regardless... i told all my friends at a rally i put on and just toned down nikki slightly... basically kept makeup and dress situationally apropriate and minimal, it was their first time seeing nikki after all, and all are very suportive even if they need a few answers every once in a while.. but i will say i go beyond the realm of just CD....

[vanityfaira]

We all have an image of how other people perceive us, and rightly so, because that is the image that we project for any number of legitimate reasons. Society has not accepted this (behavior?), and religion further frustrates it. Furthermore, I do care that my family and friends would see this side of me. Unfortunately, I'm increasingly finding that I need a release for my libido.

[nikkijo]

Those who are are "out" are NOT complaining about those who choose to remain in the closet. They are only complaining about the ones who stay in the closet and claim it is someone ELSE (society) who is keeping them in the closet.

S

exactially.... saying you stay in because of someone else makes you a wuss... and shows your possition in life as a follower not a leader. if you chose to stay in dont whine saying i cant go out because bah blah blah... it pisses some of us off very quickly...