Male Bonding (Transmen ONLY)

[DemonicDaughter]

So in one of the threads its mentioned that female bashing is a sort of "male bonding", do you agree?

Do you partake in it on any level (female bashing)? I do realize that people complain in regards to their partners and family so I don't exactly consider this the same. I'm referencing the common "damn female drivers!" sort of thing.

If not, what sort of things do you consider bonding between you and your buddies?

How do you bond with women on a friendship level?

If you do consider it a form of bonding, does it bother you?

Do you consider yourself a feminist (before anyone says anything cheeky, men can be feminists just as much as anyone else, a feminist is someone that want equality between the sexes, not one group considered superior to the other)?

Speaking of cheeky, no one say a word about the fact that I've made another "transmen only" post!

[WalT]

I don't engage in female bashing. None of the men I hang around do that; I despise those types of men. I experienced (and still experience, sometimes) discrimination on the basis of the assumed appearance of my body being female, so why would I want to put anyone else through that?

Female bashing and male bashing are both incredibly immature in my not so humble opinion.

And yes, I consider myself a feminist.

[mistunderstood]

I believe we all are important. Not just one group or other. All of my hero's are strong women.

[Areyan]

i would sincerely hope not... if woman-bashing is something some guys do to bond i have to believe it to be a bunch of cis guys. i was amused and not really surprised from the previous thread that a MTF cder of all people should find this activity masculine. female-bashing is about as attractive to me as latent homophobia is. there are some great men around (including us guys) with amazing stories to tell... these are the types of men i find interesting.

like Walt i'm also very female in appearance so to even banter with a bunch of other guys to bond would be cool... but misogyny? no thanks. i think it takes a great man to move past that primitive type of behaviour and i sincerely hope none of the other t-guys here would do it... i know we all have our issues at times with either sex but lady-bashing (even in a bonding sort of way) is for morons who don't have any respect for themselves or the ladies.

[AnonyMouse]

Female-bashing may be male bonding for misogynists, but not me. Being FTM gives you a snazzy insider perspective on what women go through - anyone who can hate women after that would have to have some serious issues. It's why we make great boyfriends.

[Felix]

Totally agree with you AnonyMouse here here xx Felix

[Andy66]

Nope, no lady OR man bashing for me. I do occasionally joke about individual people, say if someone looks or behaves silly. That's not hating an entire group though.

[Drake]

I'll never bash women specifically, but sometimes I'll joke around with a friend of mine about his girlfriend. It's harmless joking really.

[Leo Lane]

One of the quickest and easiest ways of forming a group bond is to define and turn against against those outside the group, so yes, to that extent female bashing can be a sort of 'male bonding'. It's a sort I really don't care for though.

I have never bashed women. When I was younger and more ignorant I used to grumble a bit about feminist ideology but now that I have a bit more life experience I've definitely become a feminist myself!

[Seamus_Jameson]

Okay, I have to be the unpopular one here. . . NO, I would not participate in "women bashing" for the sake of fitting in and I frown on guys that do sh*t like that.

However, taking the social role of a guy, I have certainly noticed a large number of things that women do that really ticks me (and other guys) off. I never appreciated these things while I was a woman and now I definitely regret some of the things I said/did during that time. Men just seemed invincible and I treated them accordingly.

After transitioning, I understand better that guys have their own fears, insecurities, issues. Now I have to say that I see "women bashing", or at least some forms of it, as immaturity, not intrinsic evil. I've noticed that as men take on more life responsibilities (i.e. responsibility to others), their ability to articulate their frustration with women in a mature and thoughtful manner increases.

I've also become more sensitive to the fact that gender bashing is used a lot by both sexes. Hence: if I didn't notice when I or my friends were "man bashing" as women, why assume that all men realize when they are making put-downs against women? I don't show support for that kind of bad-mouthing, but I do try to understand where it is coming from.

[Leo Lane]

Great post, Seamus. Having been both sexes gives us a broader knowledge of these things than most, and we should, as you say, try to understand what's behind them, rather than condemning out of hand.

[metalguy639]

No do not do the "Women Bashing" thing myself. My best friend is a woman! But like Seamus said there are things that REALLY irritate me when it comes to women and things they do etc. I really never could see myself in a relationship with a woman sexually or the like, there are things that I just could not handle that really annoys me so I prefer men they annoy me less...usually lol.

[Syr_SwitchyGQ]

When I get "guy time" with other men, be they cis or trans, we have always bonded over anti-oppression politics, so no, bashing women is not acceptable behaviour. Considering that I rarely get read correctly, I still face a lot of misogyny and refuse to be the source of it for other people. And no, I'm not sympathetic to "where it comes from." It comes from gender-stereotyping and makes sweeping generalisations about "all" women. Not good.

Yes, I do identify as a radical feminist, but I definitely don't agree with ALL feminists, as there are definitely sects of feminism that are oppressive in other ways, especially toward trans women. So, while I am a feminist, I try to be very specific about the type of feminism that I support.

Oh, and as for real male bonding time, my guy friends and I tend to spend a lot of time doing exactly what you'd expect: goofing off. Driving around town and blasting ridiculous music. Having completely socially inappropriate conversations in restaurants at 3 a.m. Watching bad movies and throwing popcorn at the screen when it gets seriously crap. Bantering. Having camp-outs when the weather's nice. Wrestling and sparring. Swimming when it's possible. Going to the gym. Need I say more?