When I am fully dressed, I feel happier... but WHY.
Others have also asked me, WHY, and all I can come up with is "I just am"
I have also often thought when dressed that I feel better, but WHY.
I suppose and acknowledge that there are underlying conditions and reasons for WHY being dressed makes me feel better and happier, but have yet to figure it out.
Of course I love the clothing, the look, the feel of the clothing and everything else with CDing... but the emotional and psychological FEELINGS are something akin to an euphoric high, or perhaps even enlightenment and I find my self unable to understand the root cause behind the various feelings and emotions.
Unlike many, I did not have any life long or long term gender identity issues and have always identified my self as male, yet here I am now, a crossdresser and in recent weeks have wondered about and considered and hoped for transitioning to presenting as female 24/7, but WHY and more specifically... WHY NOW after all these years do I wish to be female instead of the person I always was before.
Granted I did wear makeup for a few years when I was younger, and did wear girls clothing in secret, alone at home on many occasions when I was younger, but then it stopped, but I did continue wearing panties the last 20yrs, and also worn lingerie and hose several times over the years, but until fully crossdressing and creating the illusion and outer appearance of my self as a female, the thought of being, or the desire to be a woman has never existed, at least not consciously.. so why now do I have these urges and desires.
Is it possible that the mere act of dressing and seeing ones own created illusion can bring out latent, unconscious or repressed transgendered feelings and thoughts?
I'm trying to wrap my head around all these things and it's becoming rather difficult answering questions from friends and family when they ask me WHY do I feel better and WHY do I feel happier... I just do and I don't know why.