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Thread: Advice to help my decision.

  1. #1
    Member linda.wai's Avatar
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    Advice to help my decision.

    I love CDing but usually I only do it in private for a few hours.
    For a 8-9 times in my life, I'd CD outdoors when I took CD holidays alone.
    I was thinking about another CD holiday but can't decide. It's agonizing.

    My facts are:
    1. My crave for CD ebbs hours after I've performed the act. After a few hours, I would find it becoming tedious and would want a lot to revert back to male mode.

    2. I have to spend weeks to prepare for one such holiday and I feel guilty about the distraction to my work and my commitments.

    3. I recall when I had my CD holidays, I felt ecstatic for 1-2days visiting clubs, shopping etc and then would start to feel fed up. Eg hate the tight heels, find my corset killing me, can't stand my nails, hate putting on my contact lens and mascara. I once cut short a CD vacation as I couldn't stand the 2 hour long makeup despite being crazy about it days before.

    4. I always dream about the girl I see in the mirror as I thought I look gorgeous. Yet, when I look at my photos, I know I don't pass that well (although still has some potential).

    5. My SO hates my CDing.

    6. I feel super relaxing and most excited with I'm walking in a mall en femme, chatting with a guy or something more......and for me, I can only do these things in a vacation.

    I know it's my decision. Yet I'm opening myself so that some of you can share your views. Should I go ahead with my CD vacation this year?

  2. #2
    Silver Member AKAMichelle's Avatar
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    I would. If you choose to stay home then you are going to be consumed with regret
    Michelle

  3. #3
    eluuzion eluuzion's Avatar
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    Giving "advice" often has the same outcome as doing "good deeds". Somehow you end up being viewed as part of the problem instead of a friend trying to help after being asked for advice. Kind of like accepting a request from a friend asking you to load their bullets in their gun...then after you do it, they shoot you. lol

    So, no advice. Just a suggestion that one option to resolve your overall issue would be to focus on question #2 first, then see how many of those other points still remain...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    Member DianeDeBris's Avatar
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    Hi Linda - there is a saying in show business: "Always leave them wanting more." My suggestion is that you try a VERY short CD vacation, no more than a single weekend. It may turn out that you find yourself having to go home before you are tired of being full-time CD; that will leave you looking forward to the next time you can get away as Linda. If two days turn out to be far too short, then the next time you can try three days. The idea is to enjoy your girl-time, and go home *before* it becomes not-fun.
    Hugs - Diane

  5. #5
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    I can only say that my SO described similar yo-yo type experiences in her past. She always gave herself permission to follow her instincts or desires. If she felt the need to revert back to guy mode, she did and didn't feel badly for this. If he felt like dressing, he did. I gather that for many years, the desires were not consistent or evenly paced. It's better balanced now.

    If you can only dress safely while you are on vacation, then my opinion is that you should give yourself the opportunity, since the more you dress, the sooner you will feel balanced. But don't feel bad about yourself if you want to take some time off from dressing while you are away. Try to learn to be comfortable with the ebb and flow, and enjoy both being femme and a guy when the mood strikes to be either.

    I trust your SO knows that you are taking a femme holiday and she is OK with this?
    Reine

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member
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    Diane said it. Try a shorter vacation.

    For what it's worth, you sound like me in the way you react after a time.

    Sometimes the wanting is much more attractive than the having.
    But the having can still be a lot of fun.

  7. #7
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    As usual Reine hit it right on the head. enjoy the ebb and flow, male or female, if it feels good, do it! I see no reason to dress up if it's not going to be enjoyable, then it's just a lot of work. And if you can get away far enough for a long weekend, you might feel less pressure to stay dresses beyond what you will enjoy.
    Tina B.

  8. #8
    New Member SallyGirl's Avatar
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    Of course you should go. Don't be silly. If you're like most of us CDers, you HAVE to do the vacation this year. Unfortunately, I've never done one. I only wish that I could. You are very brave and a lot of us, I'm sure, envy you. So go! Have a ball!
    [SIZE="4"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]SallyGirl[/SIZE]

  9. #9
    Gold Member DonnaT's Avatar
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    No, I think you've proved to yourself that a vacation, taken alone, without your wife, is not a good one. And it does no more for satisfying your CDing urge than taking time out in a day to do so at home for a few hours.

    Tell your wife that you'd rather spend the time with her, than CDing. She'll love you all the more for it. I hope.
    DonnaT

  10. #10
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by linda.wai View Post
    6. I feel super relaxing and most excited with I'm walking in a mall en femme, chatting with a guy or something more......and for me, I can only do these things in a vacation.
    Ooops, I hadn't noticed this before. What does the "something more" mean? Are you in a committed relationship or is your SO someone with whom you have a casual dating relationship?
    Reine

  11. #11
    Junior Member ShellyMadison78's Avatar
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    I'd cut the "holiday" short and spend the remainder of that time with your SO. You don't even have to tell her about it, just show up midway thru your vacation with some flowers and something she might like. No use ruining your time off being burned out by being en femme. I wouldn't know since I haven't spent no more then 5 hours at a pop dressed.
    Get the best of both worlds. Take care of yourself and take care of the missus!

    Shelly

  12. #12
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    Diane, that is a good answer because I suffer the same problem I get tired of it after 2 or 3 days. After 2 or 3 days I have done all the things I want to do and a few more and its time to change back but I usually stretch it out another day or 2 and by then I am seeing the ridiculousness of it so I change back with a little bit of guilt.
    I hope I didn't offend any one by calling cding, ridiculous If I did sorry
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  13. #13
    Fab Karen Fab Karen's Avatar
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    couple suggestions: get heels that fit. & if going out shopping ( lots of walking ) wear flats. Don't wear a corset.
    [SIZE="3"]Gender is a state of mind[/SIZE]
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    As of Oct. 5th, go here to see my pics:http://www.flickr.com/people/fab_karen/
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  14. #14
    Member linda.wai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Ooops, I hadn't noticed this before. What does the "something more" mean? Are you in a committed relationship or is your SO someone with whom you have a casual dating relationship?
    When I'm Linda, I'm a flirt. If I met guys I fancy, I'll try to satisfy them whatever means. Usually it's great fun but lasts only for a while, then I would want him to leave and I just get back in guy mode and go to the 24hour store for a sandwich (always starve myself when I'm Linda).

  15. #15
    Member linda.wai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Ooops, I hadn't noticed this before. What does the "something more" mean? Are you in a committed relationship or is your SO someone with whom you have a casual dating relationship?
    When I'm Linda, I'm a flirt. If I met guys I fancy, I'll try to satisfy them whatever means. Usually it's great fun but lasts only for a while, then I would want him to leave and I just get back in guy mode and go to the 24hour store for a sandwich (always starve myself when I'm Linda).

  16. #16
    Member linda.wai's Avatar
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    So the consensus advice is Despite the short period of enjoyment and the hassles pre and post, if I can gratify myself briefly from CDing, I shall just take the CD vacation no matter the cost.

    Is that right?

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