The arousal factor is still there for me. That's why I tend to dress with what appeals to my sensual side. Like dresses, a-line skirts, soft, silky blouses, pantyhose and heels. Jeans just do not do anything for me.
-Audrey
The arousal factor is still there for me. That's why I tend to dress with what appeals to my sensual side. Like dresses, a-line skirts, soft, silky blouses, pantyhose and heels. Jeans just do not do anything for me.
-Audrey
To me a fetish is something that a person wants or enjoys doing. A person can have a food fetish or clothes or whatever, the term is just more associated with sexual fetish. If me liking to feel a nylon slip rubbing against my shaved legs then so be it, but it does not arouse me to the point of wanting sex, I just enjoy the feeling EVERYONE has a fetish of one type or another......
The reason you close your eyes when you dream, when you kiss, and when you pray is because the best things in life aren't seen with your eyes, but are felt with your heart.
True story: There is a picture of me trying on pantyhose when I was still in my CRIB. 4 years old? Hmph--amateur.Originally Posted by MargaretJ
So many female clothes are meant to be sexy, either for the ones who wear them or look at them. So no wonder some might get excited...
For me female clothes used to have a sexual aspect in quite large extent. After telling my wife and being en femme more and more in "normal situations" the sexual aspect has almost vanished, replaced by sort of euphoric and relaxed feeling of "being at home" or "dressing up in right way".
Last edited by anouk; 10-24-2010 at 12:22 PM. Reason: misprint
The fear is that cross-dressing as a sexual fetish will become the only characterization of trans people, since society in general is notoriously bad at nuance. There are (at least) two reasons that this would be problematic:
1. If society does not recognize the gender identity aspect, it will be less likely to support trans rights, e.g. non-discrimination laws.
2. A sexual fetish is not as important to someone's every day life as their gender expression. To have ignorant people equate the two trivializes one's gender identity.
That being said, I agree with the others in that it's absolute BS to ostracize people for their victimless fetishes.
I am fairly cynical, but I think society can eventually handle "some people cross-dress as a sexual fetish, and some people do so out of gender dysphoria".
I just GOOGLED fetish. not necessarlily a negitive thing......
what I don't understand is;
we are on crossdressers.com, why would anyone (someone) put someone (anyone) down, (One poster here flat out put down some CDers for the fact they might get aroused by the clothing.), for wearing the attire intended to be worn for the opposite gender. I thought we were all crossdressers or supporters of one, I don;t get it....
for that matter, why would anyone put anyone else down for anything???????
I do agree that there has been a lot of what appears as negitive critisism of others lately. I really don't understand that. Is there any crossdresser on here, better than any other crossdresser on here or anywhere? Maybe you are more intelligant, more financially set, or more advanced in life but does that make you better?
I guess what bothers me most is. if you are that much better, that much in disagreement or dislike what you read. why not just "NOT REPLY".
I know being a crossdresser, a trans gender, a transsexual, a transwoman, as I am, or any other LABEL this umbrella I am under (with most of you) was not a CHOICE. choosing to follow your feelings, to be happy in life was a choice.
Back to "fetish". I have a fetish for the clothes I wear, and by god, I'm enjoying it...
Sorry for the venting, must be the hormones starting to work a little more (better)...........................
No these are not womens clothes!! THEY ARE MINE, EVEN THE HEELS. (update 4/01/10) THEY ARE NOW ! ! !
I agree with this, and can even get excited by the look of myself, just in slight feminine clothes, no need for sexy ones.
No wonder why I get excited when wearing sportsbras without real need, despite having read on some nudist / feminist site that a medical study proved some GGs eventually got stronger breast tissue after dropping support, at only a price of some discomfort in the beginning.
Last edited by freeindress; 10-28-2010 at 04:22 PM.
Hello Pythos!
Why in the world would having a fetish over clothes be offensive. Several of our fellow posters have said that the only reason that they dress is because of the sexual excitment that they receive from dressing. As a younger person I did too! My dressing experiences would seldom last longer then 10 minutes! Now I dress to be a woman. The whole process of dressing, going out and being a lady is not sexual at all. For me the fetish aspect I used to feel to now being the best dressed lady that I can be was a continuium. Bottom line...we all dress and wear female garb for our own reasons. Hence, we are all transgendered to some degree and are in the same boat.
Last edited by Tamara Croft; 10-25-2010 at 12:37 PM. Reason: quote removed, no need for it
Charlie
I wondered about the denial factor that I've seen quoted occasionally - that all/most crossdressers are actually TS, but haven't realised it or admitted it to themselves yet.
It crossed my mind that maybe the opposite was true, that the move to 'comfortable' dressing for some is because they are actually in denial about being a straightforward fetishistic crossdresser because that is more 'deserving' of the feelings of guilt for being a perv, rather than the 'worthy' feeling of being TG and expressing the inner woman.
It strikes me that both of these aspects can be the case in the same person, but that any sexual component is not a usual topic of conversation. In my experience, people don't often talk directly about sexual behaviour, but they can talk (within limits) about gender stereotypes and boundaries.
When a crossdresser is out of the closet and so people may ask why they do it, then if part of the answer is because it is a sexual turn-on then isn't it understandable that it will be perceived as perverted? If you're dressed in a manner that by your own admission excites you, and you're getting a buzz by being out and about, then aren't all the people you encounter non-consenting participants in an elaborate sexual game? It puts quite a different spin on things compared to feeling a comfortable positive energy about expressing your femme self, and your right to express the fact that gender boundaries are artificial and arbitrary.
I do understand that the reality of the feelings involved is considerably more complex, but its an easy if misguided logical step.
So back to the post, I think that when discussing MtF crossdressing inclusion of the fetishistic aspect comes with the territory (if not being its defining characteristic) in the mind of the general public. This is perceived negatively because in day-to-day interactions we don't want to be reminded about people's sexual behaviour.
I hate it that Crossdresser's and Transexual's are associated with people like Colonel Russel Williams. His fetish became deadly and it has become a guilt by assocation from the non TG community. When a fetish interfears with a person living a productive life or turns harmful, it's time to seek help.
I have been CDing for a long time, but didn't really put a name to it. In the last year I have been exploring it, and finally realized (admitted) I am a CD. But also realized it is not uncommon, so I do not feel particularly ashamed of it. But a particular legal trial in Canada last week for a disgusting man (who happened to be a CDer), but committed unspeakable crimes, has made me feel ashamed, because the non-illegal things he did were described by the press as being perverted, disgusting, etc. Yes, he took a pic of himself in a woman's negligee. Yes, he enjoyed the smell and feel of a panty. I do that, and I agree it's not mainstream, but I don't see myself as a pervert. It is disturbing to me that we are sort of linked to his behaviour. If you are interested in the morbid details google Russell Williams.
Julie (who likes herself a lot less lately, after hearing the press describe (CD) behaviours that I feel as "disgusting and revolting"
Well, this is a slippery slope, concerning this rotten man in Canada.
But then You have to ask this. How many CDers have done as he has? Now ask this. How many "normal" looking guys have done such crimes, and much worse?
We cannot use an umbrella over ourselves in this case. We cannot allow guilt by association to take place.
The reason I come down on men like I do is because a small minority of them do some really rotten things. In the case of CDers the ratio of rotters to genuinely good people is much smaller. We cannot tar the community based on the actions of when piece of crap on two legs.
(sorry if this post was disjointed. I am awake at some ungodly hour, and unable to sleep, so I thought some forum time was in order)
Fetishes....
I am a fetish crossdresser.....be it for sexual reasons or expressive reasons or even an artistic outlet for myself.
Expressing myself in intimacy is very important for my psyche, it grounds my femme emotions and allows them to be seen how i wish to be seen. It also provides a "playing field" for my fantasies.
Those who would view us as a negative part of this community see us for the most part, as lonely sleezy perverts who masturbate in the dark. This is not true for all of us.......Some of us have a tremendous amount of fun being involved in Role play fantasies, Submission/Dominance, and various other intimacy exchanges with our SO's. In fact being perfectly honest, our sex life was in a slump after having our children, finding out that we enjoy these things together and exploring each other sexually has brought us closer together as a couple. In fact twice a month we get a sitter and have "Hand-cuff and Porno" night......(lol no, im not kidding....she even named it). We have friends who know we are both very sexually devious and they pass no judgment on us based on the fact that we are fetishists or porn gurus.
So i am amazed that ADULTS of our alternative lifestyle community here at CD.com are judging us based on what we do while we are dressed. We are all here for different reasons but, yet we all come here for support, some would do better to remember that fact.
Your Resident Fetishist,
-Donni-
So far as I'm concerned, the prejudice against the "sexual" aspects of cross dressing is reflective of associations with the word "Fetish". The term is associated with a broad range of behaviors...some pretty tame, vanilla sex play and some rather extreme, maybe even dangerous activities...like autoerotic asphixiation.
I admit I find women in sexy clothes or lingerie to be very erotic, and I feel the same way when I'm dressed in the same manner. Its an extra little spice for my SO and I when we are both dressed in lingerie...if that's a fetish, then so be it.
I don't think the TG community is prejudiced, it's just no one wants 'guilt' by association. Think of the terms such as "Going Postal" - not all postal employees grab a gun and start shooting. Not all Muslims are terrorists etc.
oh my goodness how boring would life be if "we" did not get a little or very aroused when involved in an activity that brings pleasure, arousal, sensuality or abso;ute erotic bliss.
i have several fetishes and they all come to light when I crossdress. they make me feel alive and certainly heighten the senses. they don't hurt anyone and are not painful or dangerous....i love having fetishes...so be it.
Okay, quick response, because this board is becoming a HUGE time sucker for me. LOL
GGs, please be truthful and say if you also find some stuff arousing.
I am curious about this aspect, but really do not like what I find on the internet.
Halloween weekend Christie wore a short short outfit with garters and stockings (she wears several pair of danskin tights under so she doesn't have to shave her legs), the outfit also opened in the front. She thought it was fun to flash me or just sit and flip the front open exposing black danskin panties an the garters... this drove me crazy.
So, you aint the only one, honey!!! LOL
Last edited by ChristiesGurl; 01-20-2011 at 08:32 AM.
"I know the difference between myself and my reflection. I just can't help but to wonder, which of us do you love?" ~Evanescence~
Cross dressing is definately a sexual thing for me, yes it does really turn me on. I can understand why some CD's would not want this as it does give the disapproving narrow minded people in our society the ammunition to say yes they are all sexual deviants. But let's remember it's those people who are uneducated, intollerent and scared of anything they think is not normal. Our efforts should be placed showing them they are wrong, more and more people now understand and the intollerant are becoming the minority. We need to support all CD's no matter what their reasons for doing it.
You have left out critical portions:
[SIZE=4]Fetishism[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Category[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Paraphilias and Sexual Disorders[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Etiology[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Like most disorders in this category, many theories exist in an attempt to explain how this disorder develops. Most experts agree that there are underlying issues related to childhood which play a major role in the etiology.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Symptoms[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Fetishism is characterized by either intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors in which the individual uses a nonliving object (e.g., woman’s high heeled shoe, stockings) in a sexual manner. Typically, the individual requires this object to become sexually aroused and is therefore unable to be aroused without it. To be considered diagnosable, the fantasies, urges, or behaviors must cause significant distress in the individual or be disruptive to his or her everyday functioning.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Treatment[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Treatment typically involves psychotherapy aimed at uncovering and working through the underlying cause of the behavior.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Prognosis[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Prognosis is good although often there are other issues which may surface once the behaviors are extinguished. If this is the case, these issues must be worked through as well.[/SIZE]
Fetishism does not become a Mental Disorder until "[SIZE=2]To be considered diagnosable, the fantasies, urges, or behaviors must cause significant distress in the individual or be disruptive to his or her everyday functioning." [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]So you can have a fetish and if it does not disrupt your everyday functioning then theres no problem.[/SIZE]
CD'ing is definitely a fetish for me. No gender identity crisis over here, I just get turned on wearing ladies clothing.
Okay, well, for me, it was the legs and body IN the panties and stockings, not the items themselves. But since I'm not a CD male.. my opinion my not be valid.
"I know the difference between myself and my reflection. I just can't help but to wonder, which of us do you love?" ~Evanescence~
Let me start off by saying I haven't read all the replies, so if this was covered, I apologize.
IMHO A fetish cross dresser will settle for just make up, or lingerie or maybe fully dress, because it arouses them.
But, and it's a big but, once they masturbate, they immediately undress because they feel "dirty" or that it's wrong to wear make up, dress...ect.
Again, this is just one Trannie's opinion. based on past experience.
I think fetish is perceived negative nowadays because of some of the more unusal things out there that are seen as fetishes.
Most tie fetish to something to get aroused by or something sexual. I do believe though, like myself that people can simply have a love for certain things such myself where I jut simply love hosiery and wigs, but it does not mean I need them to get aroused.
I bet not many out there have a wig fetish, lol
Sadly, I only have 17 wigs
I would say this is a fetish of mine without hesitation. There is certainly a sexual connection, no doubt, but it isn't just strickly about sex. I am not afraid to say that my wife and I enjoy the kinky side of things, and this is certainly something that gets my motor running, but that is not to say it is the ONLY thing that gets my motor running. I am not some skezy perv who sits alone in the dark and pleasures myself to porn all day. I am a professional, a brother, a husband, a son, a friend, a neighbor and sometimes, a girl!
CDing doesn't make my world go round, but it certain spins when I am dressed!
Always with love... from Sexy Lexxi!
As with everything else (i.e. gender and sex), there is a sliding scale to fetishes. At one end is the harmless propensity to be aroused by objects or situations, the kind that add "spice" to a sexual interaction with a partner, rather than overtake it entirely.
At the other end, there is a paraphilia, which is defined as the sexual arousal and gratification towards the sexual objects or behaviors, that is atypical and extreme, since they replace the ability to have a healthy sexual relationship with the partner. In other words, if the objects or behavior are not involved, it ain't happening.
A fetish becomes a paraphilia when it causes distress in the relationship, for example when it is all about the objects (or behavior such as a CD being the girl) for one partner, while for the other it is all about the more normative arousal that comes with being sexually involved with the partner. So there's an imbalance.
I'm guessing that people who view fetishes negatively have in their mind's eye the more extreme paraphilias.
Also, the TGs who want to be respected for presenting as themselves out in public resent the fetish CDs who do go out dressed in a highly sexual manner, since it reinforces the idea among the general population that all TGs are fetishistic (or paraphilic). Believe it or not, there are many TGs who don't get off on being dressed. It is not a sexual thing for them, it is more about the need and satisfaction derived in expressing a gender identity.
I feel aroused by my partner, and his (or her) arousal by me. If I feel that wearing a sexy item of lingerie will enhance his or her arousal, then I'll wear it and will become aroused by the interaction that ensues between us as the result.
Do I become aroused simply by wearing a corset and fishnets all by myself? No. If I should wear such items by myself when I am feeling frisky and wanting to get lost in a fantasy (thinking of my SO), will I then become more aroused? Yes, but the arousal is all about the thought of being with my SO and fantasizing about the things we do together, and not at all about how the corset or the hose and heels feel on my body.
If that makes sense.
Reine
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