is it inherited

[Michelle 51]

Two weeks in a row in sunday school my 5 yr old grandson commented to my wife how pretty a dress was that a classmate was wearing and coming home she commented about it because it concerned her so i asked her if she though he liked womens clothes to which she responded that it wasn't normal for a little boy to coment on how pretty a dress was.I said what are you trying to say and she said well if he is attracted to dresses we know where he gets it from.I said are you saying that it's my fault and she said yes.I quess my problem with that is in my case she thinks its a matter of choice but if he turns out to be a crossdresser that it's because of me.I will add that i'm very masculine outside the closet as is his father and other grandfather so if he has a feminine side it's not from the way we act around him but something he inherited.I know this is a complex question but wonder what your thoughs are around our femme side and where it comes from

[GirlieAmanda]

I really think that the propensity for being a TG in any form is something you are born with. Inherited? That is a good question but following my logic, maybe yes. I was raised in a regular family with loving parents. Normal. I started to have inclinations toward makeup and girlie things like playing with dolls in grade school. Possibly earlier. How can a child know how to feel about these things. No one showed me or suggested it. Nothing in my upbringing was even remotely associated with CDing. I really believe it is inside at birth. It may go away in some if its not strong or it may grow. Obviously for me, it is massively strong.

[Bethany38]

Well Michelle my Grandfather was a CD. I knew from A very young age that I liked womens clothes. I did not know about granddad until later in life. So I definitely think it could be a possibility.

[Cherry Lynn]

I think the inclination to crossdress is inside at birth much the same as homosexual tendencies. Whether it is in the genes to be passed down might make a good study such as the ones that have been done concerning homosexuality.

[Cassandra Lynn]

I tend to agree with the idea of there being a genetic component, especially in such early ages. That said, no need to get too worried yet, this could well be just a fluke.
I also sincerely hope your wife isn't going to let this fault thing get her head all turned around.
Let's say the genetic angle is true, it "visited" you and maybe it has "visited" your grandson, hardly meakes any sense to claim it is your fault. How it happens is beyond our power, so unless we have the power to change these things, fault is meaningless.
Good luck with this.
mj (Cassie)

[Steph.TS]

I'll just say if it is inherited, then my dad must be working hard against it, it's a religious man, very strict and uptight, and when he found out that I crossdressed I think he made it his mission to stop me from crossdressing, I honestly don't know how he'd react if he knew I wanted to become a woman...

[BiancaEstrella]

I don't think it's inherited. It's just who he is, just like you are who you are.

[nvlady]

I am convinced it is genetic, but it does not always manifest itself in the same way.
I believe it is a faulty gene that will make some people crossdress, others will be gay, maybe another will like little children, or another will like S&M.

[RachelZ]

I highly doubt I inherited my love of crossdressing from my neo-nazi father... maybe it came from my mom who was a lot more open minded... then again both my parents were hippies, so idk... the large amount of drugs they took through their lives could have also been a factor...

[Molly Wells]

I have wondered about this as well. My youngest son is in his early 20's. I have no reason to suspect he may be CD. However,when he was about 4 or 5, I open the bathroom door and discovered him standing on the counter where he could see himself in the mirror. He had on a pair of his sisters spandex shorts and was turning himself to see his profile in the mirror. There has never been any indication of similar behavior but I wonder ....
Molly

[Tasha McIntyre]

Michelle, although there has never been a genetic link (as far as I know) there is a possibility that if your grandson does crossdress, this may well have been inherited genetically from you. That's all well and good, but what concerns me is...

I said are you saying that it's my fault and she said yes.

Blaming someone for their genetics is hardly fair, as you have no say over any of it. It's like blaming your parents for being tall or short. If she wants to play the genetics game, your wife may as well blame one of your ancestors for passing the gene on to you.

[Patty B.]

Whether or not it is inherited, no one can be blamed for their genetic makeup. When I first started to try on female clothes, it was so much a choice, I had to do it, it wasn't a choice. It was and is the way I am, probably like most of us.

[Lucy_Bella]

oh boy this thread again..... Yes I believe it is but hard to prove because genes skip generations you may have a aunt or uncle or great granfather who is or was wondering the same thing...

[ReineD]

There's no logic to her argument. If it's a matter of choice for you, then it should be the same for your grandson, hence it's not your fault. Or, if she wants to blame you for your grandson's proclivities, then she can blame one of your ancestors for yours and it's still not your fault.

But back to your grandson: one of my sons was constantly admiring girls .. what they wore, their hair, the way they smelled, whether they were his age or older. He's not a CD. He just always liked girls and he's hugely popular with them. He's 21 now. One of the sweetest stories I remember was when he was 3 or 4. We had a neighbor in her 60's who still wore her hair in a beehive style, and her hair was pure white. My son lovingly looked at her one day and said, "You have boooful hair. (pause). It looks just like mahshmallows." He also loved marshmallows.

OK, another story. When he was 5 or so, we were at a public swimming pool. He was admiring a teenage girl in a very tiny bikini. She thought he was adorable, and engaged him in a conversation. Her similarly clad friends soon joined her, and my son was surrounded by the hottest girls at the pool, all making a fuss over him. He was positively beaming!

He was the envy of every man there!

[eluuzion]

so i asked her if she though he liked womens clothes to which she responded that it wasn't normal for a little boy to coment on how pretty a dress was.

...so if he has a feminine side it's not from the way we act around him but something he inherited.

I know this is a complex question but wonder what your thoughs are around our femme side and where it comes from

In my opinion, "normal" is nothing more than a setting on a washing machine.
There is no such thing as "normal" for a 5 year old boy or girl. Certain behaviors may be viewed as "typical behavior" in a generalized format, but that comment of his was nothing suggesting anything "abnormal". He is a young child exploring his environment. Kids pop out whatever comes to mind at that age, based on observations. They have not yet absorbed and confined their comments to socially acceptable "norms" with any prejudice at 5 years old to the extent your wife is suggesting.

We tend to selective interpret what we see and hear with our personal bias. If you are self-absorbed with a personal issue...you tend to see the world through the colored lens that makes your bias perspectives glow wherever you go...

So, if he comes inside some day with a handful of earthworms, will she think he is going to be a bird? lol

[linnea]

I'm convinced that TG is genetic; CD is probably genetic too. There is a growing amount of evidence that this is valid, including new work with brain scans that compare the qualities of GGs' brains with those of TGs brains--fascinating similarities. Saying that, I also think that what is genetic can be shaped, nurtured, discouraged, etc. by social/cultural factors. One consequence of this is gender-dysphoria.
In any case, finding fault is fruitless. If there are perceived problems, one has to deal with them directly, honestly, lovingly. And do the best one can.

[flwildboy]

I must comment, as this is a topic that I question many times. I've heard stories of my father sneaking under the couch to feel women's feet in nylons when he was young. To this day, he comments all the time about liking women in silky slips. My mother said he loved nylons. My brother is partial to blame what got me started, but I got caught. When we were young, I always remember liking the feel nylons. Well when we were about 4-5-ish, he and a buddy talked me into playing a sock game. Reach into a pile of socks, and you have to put them on and run around the basement. Well there were also a few pairs of pantyhose in the pile. Amazing, how many times all three of us boys almost fought to get the pantyhose every time. Anyway, always loved pantyhose, and think I was bitten by the bug before the sock game. At about 12, my brother caught me in a pair of pantyhose. Very embarrassing, but was only brought up at the time. I tried to blow off the questioning and said I was cold. Through the years, nothing has ever been said, but there still a cold silence when pantyhose are mentioned for any reason. He has made several comments through the years, as to liking women dressed in nylons, and bobby socks. So I know he has the bug too. I also think through the years, a few pairs have been discovered in my room without me knowing by him or a few family friends. They and I act as though it never happened.

I'm scared to death that my son will have this sickness too. About 2 years ago, my teen daughter and 3 year old daughter thought it would be funny to dress him up in a Cinderella dress, and a pair of clear little girl heels. Well I about flipped. I demanded that he get it off, and told him I didn't think it was funny at all. What a hypocrite! But, if you read all the stories on here, most mention a memory of being a kid, trying something girly on, and bam!! Now every time he see's something on TV, a man dressed up as a women, or a boy wearing women's clothes he comments and seems to get a kick out of it. Now do I ever really put my foot down, and try to persuade him that it's not right, funny, or anything of the above? Hopefully one day when I'm dead, my secrets go with me, and are never found or exposed to him. Scares me to think, if he ever found out, would he assume he is tainted with this thing if it is genetic? Would he be more acceptable to think it is in his blood and go with it? And will he possibly blame me?

Would love to hear any comments.

[GingerLeigh]

I've mentioned this before. I strongly believe this is an inherited trait. My son who is very young is doing the exact same thing as I did at his age. Rubbing stocking clad legs and now playing with girls jewelry. It isn't a soft feeling thing as my relatives often pass it off as, its a feminine thing. He specifically chooses the colour he wants the women in question to wear and demands they wear it. He throws a tantrum if he doesn't get his way or is interrupted.
My wife knows I did this as a kid, but knows nothing of my crossdessing. I feel she suspects something now though. Keep in mind I do not present as a female nor do I have feminine traits so this is NOT something he learned from me. Sexual? No. He is way too young to even know what that is.

My dad is not a crossdresser. If he is, he never told me about it but I told him about me.

I fear through his actions, my son will unwittingly drag his father and his secret out of the closet as time progresses. I will need to be there for him, I hope we all survive this as a family.

Ginger

[sterling12]

Comments about clothes from Five-Year Olds mean just about nothing! I think your Wife needs to wait a few years before she lays this very large Guilt Trip on you! Although "A Propensity" to Crossdress may be possible, there's no scientific evidence to back that up. They haven't found "A Crossdressing Gene" as of yet, and nobody has been able to find an actual statistical link that shows this trait being passed on.

Next week, when he says he likes "The Way that Jimmie's Pants look," are we going to jump to The Conclusion that he's Gay? I think there's some sort of unresolved conflict going on here.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[NicoleScott]

Correlation does not imply causation. It is a logical fallacy that two events that occur together have a cause and effect relationship.
Long ago, research showed that there was a correlation between urban burglaries and the sale of ice cream. So, to reduce the number of burglaries, let's reduce ice cream sales. Turns out, that before air conditioning was common, the hotter it was, the more people left windows for ventilation (and easy access for burglars), and the hotter it was, the more people bought ice cream.

[kimdl93]

there certainly is a possible genetic source for cross dressng. But she made this observation as tho its a bad thing. I would think women would appreciate a guy that can notice and appreciate a pretty outfit!

[RachelOKC]

It wouldn't surprise me at all to find out there's a genetic component. Even if there wasn't, I'd be confident that it was at least somehow biological. Over the years of my involvement in the TG community I've known a number of people with more than one TG in the family. In one case it was father / son, and in a couple more cases it was brother / brother. Besides TG's, I've known a lot more gays and lesbians with GLBT sibblings or parents. I've never seen any indication that their gender and sexual identities were taught, learned, or nurtured in.

To cap it off, my own sister was born with ambiguous genitalia and incomplete reproductive organs. She had some corrective surgeries in high school, but I just don't know much more than this since it's been one of the big family things that we really don't talk about. I know she was born a girl, was brought up a girl, and appears happy as a girl. I can tell you that I've never seen her as anything but completely female.

What does it all mean? I don't know. I do find it to be an unlikely coincidence that my issues and and my sister's would be completely unrelated.

[sterling12]

A Second Idea occurred to me, and since it hasn't been mentioned...."Maybe he's just a Budding Romeo who likes Pretty Girls in Pretty Dresses." (This may be a bit of a Shock,) but perhaps he's Heterosexual! (Sighs and Groans at this point, "Oh no, anything but that....Heterosexual, and he enjoys females acting feminine!")

If you are "Diplomatic," you might try to calm your Wife down. If that's A Long Shot, just be silent; it will all Blow Over!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Sophie_C]

I think it could be possible. I won't say any more than that.

[Fab Karen]

He's FIVE. He hasn't yet been brainwashed into a rigid gender-role. I have to wonder if he said "those flowers are pretty" if your wife would be talking that way. If you liked broccoli & the grandson liked broccoli, would it come from you? no.

Rachel: aside from me, none of my family is/was gay or TG.