The Pink Fog

[NikiMichelle]

I have seen references here to Pink Fog and I am wondering what it means? I ask this because it seems to mean different things to different people.

My interpretation of the meaning is "to be in a state of mind over a period of time where I am driven more than normal to want to cross dress and be in my enfemme form". If this is so then I am in a huge Pnk Fog bank right now. It has just been in the last week or so and prior to that I was somewhat indifferent. I seem to cycle through this all the time now. I am 50+ and CD'd since I was 5 or 6. My wife knows and is OK with it as am I.

What does it mean to you?

[docrobbysherry]

Niki, to ME it means; Be Careful!

If I DON'T breath in the FOG completely, it'll SNEAK up on me later! If I yield to it, the compulsion goes away after awhile! But, sometimes it takes over EVERYTHING I do and think! Yet, I've found just GOING WITH IT is the BEST strategy for ME!

[Elle1946]

To me it means look out VISA!!!

[Sandra]

To a GG it means everything else goes out of the window.

For some money that has been saved is spent on things for the cder sometimes without the SO knowing, hell even money that is for everyday things bills, shopping etc is spent. There is a lot more but I'd hate to bore you all with them.

Basically it's all "me me me"

[anonymousinmaryland]

For me, it means in the mood. But I like Elle's answer.

[NikiMichelle]

Sandra, you seem to be very angry?

[Sandra]

Sandra, you seem to be very angry?

No not at all Just commenting on how a lot of GGs feel when the pink fog hits.

I have been lucky in that my SO Nigella went through a "pink mist" and that didn't last long and has never hit again, maybe her being TS has something to do with that.

[Roberta Lynn]

The 'pink fog' Like any other fog obscures reality. Like Sandra said you can end up spending money that shouldn't be spent. You can become isolated and only see the me.
You might also end up taking chances with your job or your personal relations that you would never do if you saw those decisions in the bright light.
That said, it can also be a fuzzy comfortable place. Being in the pink fog can be enjoyable but just like driving your car in a fog, slow down and be very careful.

[NikiMichelle]

Based upon the above responses so far I would say there are varying degrees on "pink' and or "fogginess" amongst us...some good aspects and some not so good aspects.

[mygirlsgirl]

Well, I'm still learning about the "Pink Fog", it seems as though I thought it only happened once and that was it! DUH? lol Because I'm a new SO and new to CDing, I'm a tad bit slow!! LOL Now it is interesting cause my SO has never had a relationship that was totally accepting and she could do as she pleased, she now has that, but it was so intense the first time around, it was like I didn't exist anymore! lol She tried to tell me in little ways, but I didn't have a clue, we have been like the blind leading the blind! lol Now, we are both very aware, I try to tell her go with it, as long as she communicates with me so I know whats happening I'm good to go, but she almost seems scared at times like she wont come back from it, now, I try to tell her not to worry just go with it, I try to reassure her it's ok. I just told her if she goes fulltime she has to love me as much as she loves herself! lol

Let me ask you all a question: Is that something that you all fear? Not coming back from the en femme side to your male side?

The reason I ask cause I have noticed she loves to be dressed it is the most content I have ever seen my SO. I told her that I felt if the issue of surgery was not an issue, we might one day actually be talking about transitioning. In my heart I don't feel she has had the mental strength, time or money to explore herself fully, which I definatly think she should. In the begining I had to know in myself that I was ok with whatever road we went down, and I do feel good about that, but I always felt she knew she couldn't have surgery, it was not an option, so she sorta got stuck maybe, now it feels as if she is edging forward slowly in her quest to find herself, I want nothing more for my SO than to be content, peaceful and happy with who she/he is as a human being.

Anyway, I do have questions that only you as CDers can answer, that is why this forum is such a blessing, I have the GGs to help me understand my crap, I have you all to help me understand my SO and what she/he goes through. Thank you for always being here, hugs n' love, mygirlsgirl

[SuzanneBender]

When one sails into the fog on a journey they may become lost. It's easy to loose site of reality when you are lost in a fog. You become so enthralled in the warm cozy pink fog of feminity that it isolates you from all of the other important aspects of your life. Many of us have fallen victim to the enviable excitement that comes when we begin to recognize and embrace our femme selves.

Mygirl coming back from the femme side has never been my fear. Losing the people in my life that I love is my greatest fear. Well that and the pink fog staining my white blouse.

[NikiMichelle]

I have to say that my experience with the pink fog is more pleasurable than a journey into the fog with nope hope of return. I do accept these entries of words of caution however. I feel good en femme and content with who I am...but thanks all for the feedback so far!!! May our journeys be smooth sailing thru the fog.

[Jilmac]

I would say you're pretty well spot on with your interpretation but beware the dreaded "PINK FOG" can be overwhelming at times when least expected. The pink fog hits us all and can be an enjoyable experience when it happens. It can also be downright expensive unless you're a cheapo like me and shop at thrift stores. It's all part of what we do so enjoy while you can.

[NikiMichelle]

Sandra from above started a similar thread to attract comments on Pink Fog from Transexuals rather than from a CD's. It is quite interesting to see some differences. One responder hits on some pretty good points (even in jest!) which explains the various definitions of Pink Fog floating around. When one looks a that combined responses to this thread (Pink Fog - CD) and (Pink Fog - TS) the pattern of responses implies the degree of transgender one has and their mental state with respect to feminine side as to how pink the fog is. I would suggest the fog changes in the degree of pinkness and fogginess for all involved at various times. Some want it to take control of their lives and other just want the happiness/contentment associated with it. I would bet it ties into where one is on the transgender scale of CD towards TS.

[mygirlsgirl]

Hmmmm.....Very Interesting, thank you for sharing that!

hugs, mygirlsgirl

[ReineD]

Many of us have fallen victim to the enviable excitement that comes when we begin to recognize and embrace our femme selves.

I've always wondered why this excitement exists among you, when we GGs don't come close to feeling such a high over just being ourselves, in our day to day lives. Suzanne, can you try to explain this? For a long time I thought it was the relief over not having to suppress the inner femme any longer. But, when I feel relief it is quite different than feeling the intense excitement many of you describe. Sometimes I've seen my SO positively glowing when she's herself, and it's a level or a type of happiness that I don't think I've ever experienced, other than during a few momentous events in my life.

I wish I could understand.

[Gerrijerry]

Reine
To me ..The excitement is simply the ability to finally start accepting yourself. A point where you find that you can just be the person you are inside even if it is for a short time. It is a point where you relax so well that normal problems go away, no stress and all you are left with is a happy feeling inside. For a GG I have been told that you do get the same feeling when you hold your child for the first time and nothing else counts but your baby. All that you went thru to have the baby is nothing compaired to what you felt when you hold him or her that first time. The love and acceptance and excitement at that point with dreams and hope for the future all rolled up into a single moment in time.
For a CD or TS to finally reach that point is what most are dreaming about and many find at different levels.
this is why you hear about the pink fog because you don't want to let that feeling go. You want to remain right in that point in time.

[Jorja]

Being a TS woman, I really don't remember anything like the feelings you all describe as the Pink Fog. Yes, I do get excited over somethings like any other woman. Yes, I have done things without really thinking but I have never had this feeling of intense excitment that is described.

[NikiMichelle]

ReineD you ask a wonderful question of Suzanne and I would like to take a stab at it as well!!!

There are so many of these types of questions of us as to why we do what we do and feel the way we feel. Your question is great in that it has a different spin to it in that the TG'd person (m-to-f) wants to be like a f (in some form or fashion (TS vs CD) (please pardon the pun with using fashion!!) ). The GG will hear these answers and go on to say that things aren't as great as we make them up to be. You also wonder why what is so natural to you can be so exciting to us? You have asked if there is a difference between the joy of feeling relief from suppression and the joy of being able to express ourselves once the suppression is removed?

I believe that the "glow" you refer to is the doubling up effect of both your points.

If you were a mountain climber deep inside but were not allowed to climb a mountain peak in order to capture a beautiful view you knew was there to be had you would struggle with "why can't I be me and go climb that peak?" If you were to fight with this for a long period of time frustration would build (especially if you have no one to talk to about your issue). If you finally come to grips with the fact that you can, if you really want to, go climb that peak (with the beautiful view) you would feel good about your decision but likely feel a little in trepidation about going against what you have been told (you can't mountain climb). But, you go anyway and climb the peak. When you get to the top you are amazed with your accomplishment and the view is beautiful.

To me, this is what I have gone through and why I feel so good when I slip into my en femme side.

This however may not be the case for all of us...I would like to hear from others!!!

[NikiMichelle]

Any other thoughts?

[DianeDeBris]

I've always wondered why this excitement exists among you, when we GGs don't come close to feeling such a high over just being ourselves, in our day to day lives. Suzanne, can you try to explain this? For a long time I thought it was the relief over not having to suppress the inner femme any longer. But, when I feel relief it is quite different than feeling the intense excitement many of you describe. Sometimes I've seen my SO positively glowing when she's herself, and it's a level or a type of happiness that I don't think I've ever experienced, other than during a few momentous events in my life. I wish I could understand.

Hi Reine -- Wow! This is in fact a profound question, and one that will take me, at least, a good deal of thought before I can cadge together a workable response. My first reaction, FWIW, is that the emotional component embraces parts of excitement, relief, contentment, wonder and just plain fun; and the proportions seem to vary from day to day and occasion to occasion. I think there is also an aspect of being inside (perhaps I should say "being allowed inside") another universe, one that coextends with the 'standard" universe which I perceive and in which I function every day, but which is richer, deeper, wiser, more connected, more sentient, more nurturing, less hostile/combative; and which functions "in plain sight" yet is thoroughly interspersed in, among and within the world I ordinarily inhabit, but of which I and pretty much all guys are conventionally blissfully unaware. In some sense, when I am participating in the world as a woman, I am experiencing a perennial reality that is unavailable to most men ever and to me most of the time; and my understanding of what is important, how life should be lived, how others should be treated and experienced, is greatly enhanced. I am at those times more accepting (beyond even what I think is a pretty good level compared to most men), more compassionate, more able to see things from another's point of view, better able to empathize and even to anticipate others' needs. I get to experience life in this way while being fully conscious, without artificial stimulants, without meditation, and so on; and it is not simply an alteration in my internal way of viewing the world around me (otherwise I should be able to attain this dimension of consciousness without crossdressing); rather, being crossdressed and simultaneously being physically in the world, among the population, allows me to have the experience of being accepted as one who understands the world in this way and from this perspective. I suspect this may be the reason why so many genetic women are so accepting of CDs -- they seem to recognize intuitively that it is not about the clothes, makeup and fashion (although that is fun for all of us!) and certainly not about sex or sexuality, but rather about sharing a way of knowing the world and a way of living in the world and living with and among others that is virtually "automatic" for most women but that is valued and shared, or attempted-to-be-shared, by precious few men; almost by definition, women can know that we CDers value woman-ness, wish to experience it and to have the warm joy of sharing that way-of-knowing-and-being with others.
OK, that took some surprising turns; but upon reflection I think there's a nugget or two in there, and I will try to think through more precisely. For the moment, thanks for creating an opportunity for reflection and exploration into a very important question. Hugs -- Diane

[NikiMichelle]

Diane...I'm not sure I follow that!!! LOL

...but thanks for the input!!

[Chickhe]

It is like being drunk on femininity. You are still yourself, but your judgement is a little off and you feel bliss. You know you were in a pink fog when you wake up the next morning feeling like there is no reasonable explaination for what you did in the last few days. ...did I really 'need' to get a perm and what am I going to say to the guys?

[NikiMichelle]

True...funny but still true!!!

[Bob Roe]

[To me it means one begins to think and act female, and its't wonderful!.